The Narcissistic Truths – No 1 (Expanded)
The heart of an empath is treasured by our kind. Whilst our own hearts are black and iced, the heart of the empath radiates with fuel. It is capable of love, desire, admiration, compassion, concern, hurt and so many other emotions which radiate from it. The empathic heart is a veritable fuel pump and as such is coveted by us. It has so much more to it than that which we have in our hearts. We are envious of this but recognise how such a heart is there to serve us and cater for our needs.
You, as an empathic individual, also have one further major difference between your heart and ours.
Yours is free.
Your heart is free to choose who it engages with. Who it falls in love with, who it wishes to show joy to, who it wishes to share its innermost desires and secrets with. It is free to show its pain to those that it chooses.
We are jealous of that freedom. Our desire to receive the bountiful fuel which is pumped from you by this delicious heart brings with it our desire to capture it and prevent you exercising this freedom any further.
Our dark hearts are bound to the venom that flows through us, to the vitriol which we spray over those around us and the adherence to hatred, envy, fury and other such dark emotions. Our hearts know no such freedom like yours. The nature of our hearts is that they are pre-ordained in how they will function.
In capturing your heart for the purposes of fuel, we also desire to capture your heart to take away this freedom that you have and the absolute method of removing this freedom is to bring about the effective ‘death’ of your heart.
We are insidious agents, proponents of the salami-slicing approach which enables us to secure our aims through a thousand deft and delicate cuts so that you never notice what is actually happening. We are no different in this modus operandi when it comes to the ‘killing’ of your heart. The death of your heart is effected through the removal of its freedom.
Each and every day we advance our cause to gain fuel and to secure the bondage of your heart, little by little, as we strip it of its freedom. Through the dazzling love-bombing we invade it, taking it piece by piece so that it belongs to us. We permeate your life through our compliments, our apparent love, our fabricated passion for you, our illusory desire as you are gradually over run and conquered. With each passing day as we unleash our charm on you, our legions of text messages, our battalions of telephone conversations and the marching foot soldiers of love, we take a piece of your heart and capture it. Thus a part of it has effectively ‘died’ since it has lost that free will.
Of course, entirely consistent with the notion of romance that you have been indoctrinated with, the capture of your heart in such a way is regarded as a wonderful thing. You are regarding this capture as one which is healthy, respectful and you do not recognise that it has been predicated on a false premise.
Once we have you embedded your heart is ours. It has been captured. You no longer are afforded the choice of where your emotions can be directed. They must be directed towards us and us alone for the purposes of our fuel provision. The onslaught continues as having captured your heart, we then set about our scorched earth approach through devaluation as our despicable manipulations and horrid machinations are deployed against you for the purposes of maintaining the occupation of your heart and the total hegemonic control of its emotional output.
We captured the good – the love, the admiration, the compassion, the happiness, the joy and so forth.
Now we capture the bad – the pain, the hurt, the fear, the terror, the hatred and all other negative emotions.
Little by little, day by day, we invade your heart and occupy it, making it ours, commandeering its emotional resources for our own use and in so doing we strip away its ability to function in a free manner.
The removal of this freedom is how your heart dies when you are with us.
This happens on a daily basis as we slowly cause your heart to ‘die’ through our polluted control of you.
54 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 1 (Expanded)”
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jesus f*cking christ
This is so heartbreaking that I can barely take it.
I hate what you do to us, but I’m so ripped apart that you all suffer this emptiness.
Soon to be sparkling!
It’s brutal!
K,
It is so brutal. It’s so cruel for anyone to have to live with.
No love??? What could be the point of even waking up?
I’ve been pulling away now for the pursuit of self awareness and coming back and reading again, well it just knocks my breath out all over again.
Our most beautiful world is so devastatingly unjust!
Soon to be sparkling!
This article is definitely a breath-taker, every time I read it; horrific actually. A home, or a life, bereft of love is devastatingly unjust.
STBS……I agree. From the first article I ever read here I always felt sorry, if that is a word I can use, for the N. It is a empath thing I guess.
You’re wrong H.G. our heart isn’t die. It falls in a deep sleep and only a kiss of the true love (for herself or himself) can wakes up. The peoe of your kind can give us a sort of narcotic of hearh and mind…but first or late the spell will be broken, and you know that it can happens.
Attention! When the prey awakens will be completely out of your control! Are you ready for it? Did you have never been problems with some awakened prey?
No.
You’re a lucky narcissist as well as a skilled manipulator
Following comments …
more like the flexibility of our hearts. their elasticity.To take great pain and transform it. Its not that our hearts don’t get trapped,stuck,lost. But we find the internal resources to free it. Resources you do not have.
Masterpiece, HG. Thank you so much for sharing an expanded version. It’s scary how aware you are and shows how evil this disorder is (note I said disorder). Yes, you have the power of choice, but it’s like the Self Injurer who put hand on a stove burner while knowing it will hurt.
I feel bad(ish) for my exes. They didn’t get a fuel filled heart. They received a facsimile. My own heart is dark. Yours seems to have some lack of darkness.
Thank you.
Oh my heart is dark, you just do not know the true extent.
Are you a psychopath HG? I believe the doctors were discussing about it
It is clear to me that the profession uses sociopath and psychopath interchangeably. I have been diagnosed as a narcissistic sociopath by the good doctors but I have also been reliably informed I am a narcissistic psychopath, which highlights my point. Hence I use the term Greater.
I suspected as much… I got away…AND, my heart is healing
I may not be free from all I feel, today I can feel the sun warming my skin, the breeze move past me and enjoy the company of those around me. I live and hold each moment of the life I was given.
All people have choice, in what they choose to do. You have a choice to manipulate for fuel or not (albeit, “not” is harder for you at this point in your life).
Hmm, freedom of our heart and ability to love whomever we choose? Well, sort of. We all have been programmed by our parents, past experiences, society and biology (yes, we only can think and perceive with what mechanics we are given).
I really did enjoy reading this one as well. Keep on that journey.
Heartbreaking piece, which already proves your vision of our free hearts is wrong. If it were so free as you believe it to be, we would stop caring immediatly after discard or the first sign of abuse. We are never free because we are unable to stop caring.
How are you jealous of what you cannot understand? Isn’t that condratiction at its best? I will never believe the heart of your kind is all black. You just know that caring equals hurt, you apply it daily. The hurt of your kind is beyond our immagination, so why add insult to injury? Jealous yes, because we are able to overcome hurt and care again. A skill your kind forever fails to master.
Just the two cents of an empath who will never forget to care. Thank you HG and your kind. I never knew how much I love I had inside me.
Hi H.G,
In this article when you state:”Little by little, day by day, we invade your heart and occupy it, making it ours, commandeering its emotional resources for our own use and in so doing we strip away its ability to function in a free manner. This happens on a daily basis as we slowly cause your heart to ‘die’ through out polluted control of you.” I think I understand what you mean but I am not sure. I was always able to love others (family, friends) despite the devaluation. Do you mean that we no longer shinned? Although able to love-my light was dim and I had to fake being OK most of the time. Is this what you refer to our “hears dying” ?
Excellent article-as always!
It may manifest as you losing the capability to exhibit love and caring for a period of time or to a lesser extent, the dimming of which you speak.
Very good post HG. Really resonates with me. There is something that puzzles me though. You warn about this notion of romance we have been indoctrinated with (and I totally agree with you) which your kind uses to ensnare victims. However, when I read the two articles you wrote about Amanda, I had the impression you were also under the influence of this same notion of romance. You call Amanda angel of your creation, which suggests that you are aware that she is an ideal in your head you use to create contrast and finally always be let down by other women. However, the way you wrote the article The voice of an angel, makes me think you think of her as kind of a soul mate. You also say you are looking for her. I know that you are kind of looking for the eternal fountain of fuel. But I doubt you think Amanda is ithis fountain. Are you looking for her because you want to see if you can reconnect with the 17 year-old you were (not quite the narcissist you are now) and see if you can find that sparkle of love you felt for her then? Do you think it was real love, or the closest to real romantic love you have ever felt?
i thought it was but I now know I do not know what love is.
Then how are we to learn it? You’ve told us it is what it is not (Disney Princesses, iambic pentameter with occasional rhyming couplets), but what are we to look for?
Quiet satisfaction and trust are lovely when you have 1.2 kids and a mortgage, but can’t we start with that insane drunken feeling, even if it inevitably subsides?
You consult with me so I can provide you with the detailed input.
Is it all process of elimination? This isn’t love, that isn’t, so what’s left might be?
Or you can identify it in others even if you can’t feel it? Or especially because you can’t feel it?
It is called emotional empathy. I can see how it manifests and when it is absent.
“The removal of this freedom is how your heart dies when you are with us.”
And the removal of the abuser is how the heart comes back to life, slowly but surely…
Why do you have to destroy what you envy? You seem to want what we have. We would show you how to get it, if you let us help you.
Hi Matilda!
I loved what you wrote.
We would help. That’s all I wanted to do for my ex. I just wanted to help and to love her but it wasn’t possible. If she would have been able to communicate what she needed I would have done it.
Heartbreaking.
Thank you, Snow White 🙂 . Absolutely… all we want is to be with them, love them, help them, heal them. No amount of love can fix someone who does not want to be helped! The only choices you are left with are to go under, or to leave.
Fascinating article, and fascinating comments. It amazes me how many times I see scenarios (in both articles and comments) that apply to me almost word for word. I am still very much working through the emotions, but the information and validation I get from this blog have definitely saved my sanity. I often re-read articles at a later date, and the emotions triggered are different depending on ‘where I’m at’ on that particular day. Today, and for many days now, I’m feeling pragmatic. It all seems so predictable, so inevitable, such a waste of time and energy! My thoughts today regarding ‘him’ are ‘what did I ever see in this loser!’ 😉
Keep swimming guys…. We’ll get there!!
As for the freedom you seem to think our hearts have, I simply don’t see it. Hard for me to view my heart as free at all. If my heart were as free as you think it is, it certainly wouldn’t end up with the likes of a narcissist. All of us are products of our own upbringing and all of us are drawn to people that feel like what we were raised with. Lucky me, I tend to fall in love with emotionally unavailable people which results in great pain in my life. The ones who genuinely love me with all their hearts, I just don’t “feel a spark with.” Why the hell would I choose this? Where’s the freedom there? I feel as trapped as you do. You want to take away our freedom to punish us for having what you haven’t got, yet what you don’t realize is that we were never free in the first place.
Great self reflection High Octane Fuel. You really understand the problem very well. The heart of the victims are already programmed to worship narcs
High Octane Fuel:
THIS.
It’s making sense. You want the emotional palette back that you once had so you search out people who have said palette but in technicolor – empaths. You then invade them, render them powerless, and wrest them under your control in order to get them to produce the things absent in you so you can live vicariously. They then become your conduit to use for life. You move about the world collecting new hosts and using them at will to get your daily hits. You hone your skills at getting us to express our range of emotions, thru trial and error. You get so good at it, that it becomes second nature to you. All because, ultimately, you want what we’ve got. So as much as you display disgust and vitriol at our emotional vulnerabilities, underneath it all, you desire to have them. You do recognize the beauty inherent in genuine emotional intimacy between two people after all. So you’re about using us to build up your ego and sense of self in one way, but equally about using us to recover the emotional palette which is absent in you. Your reflections are absolutely profound.
HG,
Honestly Masterful. Excellent Work. I felt my heart being broken as I read the truth. It is clear that you are most aware of the techniques and the outcomes of your narcissistic behavior. To be as self aware as you are and still practice this behavior is mind boggling to the empathetic individual. I can see the choice to behave this way as can you. It is not surprising to me that you choose as you do. Your heart is inclined to badness. You were molded by bad parenting and abuse. The issue I take up with your kind, the ones that are as aware as you, is that you refuse to acknowledge that you choose the behavior. Saying that you are pre-ordained is incorrect. We were made with free will. We choose, the blessing or the maladiction. Right or Wrong. You don’t set the standards. If you really believe God chose you to act in a manner that is against his own laws and principles, then you are definitely in need of counseling. He didn’t create evil. Evil serves no purpose. God is Love. If he IS it, then there is no evil within him. He doesn’t need to create a group of humans to be able to step on others to accomplish his work. That’s not love. So that’s not him. How I wish you would turn around and correct yourself. How I long to see you truly free from maintaining a lie, a facade. I’d love to see you break the pattern. If only HG. Reconcile with yourself. Set yourself free. Give us a happy ending. We are all routing for you. XX 💙
There is a GOD? If you believe there is, which one is the correct one?
I am atheist so there you have it. My make believe friends are the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa and all his little elves. (Just messing with you ABB, I do not believe in the tooth fairy)
I would step on a limb, a strong one, and venture to say that a narc does not really believe in a GOD other than themselves, unless it is needed for the means of obtaining Narc Supply.
Ah Oh,
The correct one is Jehovah.
I know you are atheist.
The bible does not promote Santa, The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy. So i dont believe in them either. There is quite a difference between church teachings and bible teachings. The history of the characters you mentioned are based on paganism or in the tooth fairies case, a lie. So we agree there.
HG has stated before that he believes he was created to do what he does. That God has granted him these abilities of only having certain emotions to do what needs to be done. If he is atheist, then he would not make these statements. Therefore I mentioned God because he has. I meant no attack on your atheism. You and I both get to decide for ourselves what we wish to believe. Freedom like that is a beautiful thing.
HG has also stated numerous times he believes in God when it suits his purpose.
God is not all about love – not by a long shot. He is vengeful and wrathful, especially when the flock does not do what he wants or questions him in any way.
This is the same God who asked Abraham to sacrifice his son and turned around and was all like, “Nah, just playin’ man” and sent an angel to tell Abraham it was only a test.
The same God who commands that children who curse their parents ; adulterers; witches; homosexuals; non-believers; and entire communities that worship another god (among many others) be put to death.
Part of my family’s façade was going to church. I went to Catholic school and believe me when I say you have not seen sinful till you have seen me rock a Catholic school girl uniform (but I digress).
The church is a haven for our kind and we use religion to suit and serve our own purposes. Always.
BE,
While it is true that God has allowed ones to be killed or put to the test, you have to look at the context of the accounts. It was always done with the correct amount of justice. If you would like me to expand on the account with Abraham and his son and other areas where death was justified at God’s hand I will do so. If you don’t really Want to know or if you dont really care and HG doesn’t feel like posting, I am not going to do the work. We will just say if things go your way, I’m good and if things go my way, I’m good. Btw I agree that mainstream religions are hypocritical and are full of narcissists. I don’t believe most churches teach what the Bible teaches but teach doctrines and rituals that are rooted in non-Christian origins. I believe they abuse the flock and I think they are basically a business. It does not however take away from what the message of the bible is and that God will accomplish his purpose for the earth.
Are you Jehovah Witness? I really do not believe in these characters, I was just saying that God is a make believe friend, in my view.
I also think he stated he believes in GOD to suit his fancy. I take this as a need as I see fit situation, which would translate to a no, I really do not believe. IMHO.
To each his own.
ABB,
I do not need you to explain anything to me and if you did, you would only provide your own interpretation of the scripture, as most people tend to do when challenging others to a rousing game of “So You Think You Know Your Bible.”
I know the story (and my bible) quite well after years of having it crammed down my throat incessantly. It suited my purposes to learn and absorb everything and to be able to parrot it all back with absolute precision.
The true and correct name for god is actually Ĕlāhā according to the Aramaic language spoken by Assyrian Christians. Many others assert the proper name for god is Yahweh or YHWH (Hebrew) though many writings suggest that the true pronunciation of god`s name is composed entirely of vowels and thus, virtually impossible for humankind to vocalize properly.
The vast majority of Jewish and Christian biblical scholars and linguists do not believe “Jehovah” to be the proper pronunciation of YHWH as there was no true J sound in ancient Hebrew
The name for Christ is Eashoa’ Msheekha. In Aramaic, Eashoa’ means, “the Life-Giver” and Msheekha means, “the Anointed One.”
BE
This came under my comment and it is meant for ABB.
You know I do not believe in any of them.
Ah Oh,
That is why I directed my reply at ABB and not you.
I cannot help the way the replies stack on top of each other.
BE, just wanted to say hello.
Hello to you too, Ah Oh.
I already know you do not believe in god. I just wanted to clarify that my response was directed at ABB and not at you, even though my reply appeared stacked on top of yours.
No harm, no foul my dear.
“A heart inclined to badness.” You cannot dispute that when he presents his nature and inclinations in this way. Nicely done ABB!!
This was a painful read.
The other day I came across a FB posting from a mother supporting her 10 year old child through cancer and the chemo treatments. She spoke of her child and said he is “my love, my smile, my joy, my heartbeat, my life.” I identified and related to that wholeheartedly for the love I have for my daughter. That is not diminished at all.
I fiercely love with my heart. That is something for someone consumed with their venomous hate in their black heart to envy isn’t it? For all their wielding power, to know that kind of love is being expressed for them and truly them, not a facade is all they really crave and yet they deny it for themselves by their own destruction.
That kind of pure love can never be killed out of us. It is like water. Formless and can bend and find its way into the tiniest hairline crack. I share my heart with someone. No one commands or takes it.
Doesn’t this emotional/psychological pummeling of the empath then render the target no different than the narcissist? After it is all said and done, after the narcissisti has done his destruction, isn’t the very thing you loved and desired eventually completely extinguished? Where’s the fuel when there’s no more empathic fuell to be had? Horribly fascinating stuff HG.
That’s how vampires work. Drain the victim of blood, then on to the next one.
Love the expanded version! Looking forward to more!
WOWWWWWW…..WHAT I READ JUST NOW…IS DIABOLICAL..OVERT..
MIND BOGGLING…EVERY HAIR ON MY BODY STANDING STRAIGHT UP…
SOOO I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE SOUL-mated WITH the DEVIL…TRULY…
Love the beginning of this. It explains so much. You do in fact envy us. I have never fully pieced together why you want to ruin the very thing that could save your life, could thaw your hard hearts and why you reject everything offered with such hatred.
But I still don’t believe that your heart is all dark HG. There is some good there and I told my ex the same thing. It’s buried somewhere deep.
And this message hurts my heart even more because my heart doesn’t feel what it used to. I gave my ex my whole heart plus more and it was crushed in the end. My heart doesn’t have the freedom it once had. It’s hardened and a little black now.
I have built a cage around it.
And its the sad reason I continued to pour my ‘love’ in to him. Because if I stoped, I would be left so hard and bitter. I am still crushed by it all. What ever was the point?
careful Snow