The Narcissistic Truths – No. 3 (Expanded)
We come cloaked in our finery to dazzle and bewitch yet this enthralling and alluring appearance is but an artifice designed to cater to our needs and keep that which the world ought not to see at bay.
Shall I be the charming boyfriend who brings you breakfast in bed or the grizzled tyrant that bellows from the landing demanding to know why the right shirt is not available even though you ironed seven of them yesterday? Perhaps I will be the cheery neighbour who stops and compliments the fellow next door on his new motor vehicle or do I rake a key down the paintwork smiling to myself as I feel the Thought Fuel at his dismay washing over me? How about being the benevolent boss who is magnanimous in his appraisal of a junior employee or might I be the savage dictator whose fleck infested diatribe reduces the underling to tears? Passionate lover or glacial companion? Entertaining purveyor of anecdotes or bilious issuer of put downs? Such choices.
Yet it is not just a matter of good or bad, there is more to layer on top of that. Do I regale my friends with that story of how I went marlin fishing in Bermuda to impress them even though it was my brother who went and I have taken his tale to be my own? Do I claim the theories of a fellow academic as mine when discussing matters with the undergraduates in my tutorial group? Do I claim to know much about the works of Bach because I have glanced over my girlfriend’s play list of classical music? That snippet of conversation that was overheard discussing the merits of staying at the Cavalieri Hotel in Rome and the ‘views to die for’ becomes my stay there last month. A useful review of Transpotting 2 in the broadsheets is commandeered to become my opinion which receives nods of approval when I recount it over dinner.
Why feel the need to be something that we are not? This varies dependent on the school from which we hail but at its essence remains this indisputable fact; we do not want to be nor can we be, that thing which we spend our time escaping from. Most of our kind do not realise this. They have no comprehension that a construct has been created for the purposes of ensnarement. Ensnarement of victims and the continuing ensnarement of The Creature. They do not know it, believing that their construct IS them and hence should you act in a way that attacks that construct through criticism then the response is intense, volcanic and instant. Those who form the majority of our ranks are unable to make such a distinction, unable to recognise what they have created and what they are imprisoning but believe their own creation to be them. Such is the power of delusion. They have no choice in determining what they will be today. They are governed by the instinctive need to respond as the fuel dictates and thus the rage-filled father who smashes his son’s favourite toy was not chosen but appeared because that was what was required to respond to his son running to his mother and not him. The doting son who faithfully calls his aged mother every Sunday without fail notwithstanding her dismissive treatment of him ordinarily is one compelled to do so in order to maintain his facade of decency and to irritate you when you suggest he ought to put her in her place. The quiet yet charming man who is the complete gentleman on the dates you have together is one which has been constructed out of need and is a programmed behaviour to bring about seduction. Whichever way these of our kind face is as a consequence of need – fuel, the facade, the acquisition of residual benefits – and it matters not if there is a swing from demon to angel in the space of the minute, but that is what must occur.
Furthermore, the repeated regurgitation of lies to furnish the construct for the purposes of attraction is an instinctive response. The lie is believed because the Lesser or Mid-Ranger perceives his construct as what he or she is and thus the knee-jerk boasts, the blatant exaggerations and the out and out lies about achievements, status, job, number of lovers and the number of times one has seen U2 in concert are viewed as truth. Challenge them at your peril. The Lessers and Mid-Ranger have no choice in terms of how they furnish their construct and how they respond to the appliances around them.
The Greater of our kind exert choice but it is always within the confines of the overriding objective, namely, all is as the fuel wills it to be. Thus, the decision to berate a shop assistant is one of choice but is governed by the need for fuel. The decision not to answer your telephone calls is one of choice but again is subjected to the requirements of fuel. We Greaters have more substance than our lower-ranked brethren, we have the achievements, the abilities, the successes but it is never enough. One must be better, more popular, more attractive, more muscular, more accomplished, more, more, more. Thus that which is already there was deemed not to be good enough. So there must be the embellishments, the exaggerations, the add-ons. Pilfer here, acquire there, purloin this and steal that in order to make that cloak the finest ever created. You might suggest we ought to be content with the considerable abilities that we already possess but that is viewed from your perspective. From ours, there is always another higher mountain to conquer and it must be conquered because if we do not stop driving forward then we risk perishing.
I wield tremendous power. I can be anything I want and do whatever I please. Yet, as Lord Acton sagely stated,
“Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
I have absolute power but it has been corrupted because it is always subject to another force, that of the need for fuel.
I appear as the dictator with seemingly unrestrained power and influence as I choose to be whatever I want to be.
Yet I have come to realise that I am the puppet government put in place by fuel.
55 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 3 (Expanded)”
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Indeed
HG….I do find it interesting….everyone keeps telling you how to live. Myself included…. what is that about? Yet you repeatedly tell us you won’t change (u see nothing wrong and therefore no reason) and you know who you are and are ok with it. Even better than ok. You are superior. So why are we always trying to change you? I know you will say its our empath tendency. But i feel there is more to it than that.
You are correct, I put it down to two things
1. The empathic trait of wanting to fix and to heal’ and
2. I suspect that with many people there is this desire for me to change because
a. It gives them hope that their narcissist will change; and
b. Because of the material I write, people are grateful for it and since they are decent people they want to see me gain some kind of reward in return.
We are all just searching for truth in our own way…
Yet, Jesus says, that He is the way, the truth and the life…
(Can’t help it. 😉 )
Is he that fellow who signed for Manchester City? The boy’s a bit special.
Indeed
Sold out completely for Christ. 😊He’s definitely the only way. He lead us to this blog and all the Glory goes to Him.
Real truth resonates
Correct! 😉
H.G.
In reference to 2 a. I must say you have done a excellent job in managing our expectations regarding the narc’s behaviors changing. If there’s improvement due to the good doctor’s I don’t foresee you sharing it with us.
But if you strip yourself of every shard you have borrowed or stolen, and just look at the essence of you, and what you have achieved so far *despite* your past, can you not feel genuinely proud of yourself?
I am proud of my achievements yes.
Good! Then build on that… and stay true to yourself… there really is no need for fakery.
So those dates you take us on…. Are you genuinely having fun or was it all just an act? After I escaped I questioned what was real and came to the conclusion that the entire relationship was probably 99.9% fake. I understand the manipulation and being in love with an illusion now, but I question the simple things like falling asleep watching a movie all cuddled up (your favorite word) on the couch. Mine seemed to enjoy it and I had a hard time believing that could be fake every night for a year. We lived together so is it possible to wear that mask 24/7? I mean, I remember one time my son was sick and puked all over the carpet. I got up to clean it up and he volunteered and beat me to it. At that moment I thought, boy this man must REALLY love me! I can laugh about it now and know it was all for his personal gain, but what a sacrifice. Haha!!!!
Hello Dragonfly, look out for a Narcissistic Truth (Expanded) for an answer to that.
Which one, HG?
No. 5
Hmm Indeed. We are all a slave to something. Ultimately, the slavery leads to death or life. However, the “slavery” that leads to life is actually true freedom.
Jesus said, “i am the way, the truth and the life. ”
We are made for Him. It just takes some figuring out along the way. Those who figure it out are not disappointed. Because as with all the ironies of life….
Its a complicated simple.
Yet, those who seek it will find it and will find rest for their souls.
Rest HG, Rest. Feels good.
Amen
Amen
The posts where you show us as puppets and refer to us as such are most frustrating. Your last sentence admits that you are the puppet. The master is fuel. Who provides that fuel? We do. That is a powerful admissiion. Whether it be on or off the blog doesn’t make it any less true.
The difference is that we don’t want to control or end you. We (or at least I) don’t roll that way.
Who draws the fuel? Me.
It’s a vicious circle around this thing called fuel. You have greater than 3MM views. I don’t know what defines a view. Is it a page click or post click? Is it only the first time someone visits, or every time? In the extreme case, you have touched greater than 3MM people. If every person takes your message and applies it, fuel becomes scarce. Nothing to draw, nothing to provide.
It is views.
Fuel will never be scarce.
HG, I’m enjoying these expanded versions of the Narcissistic Truths for the additional insights they provide. Btw, congratulations on reaching 3 million +
Thank you No Narcs, I am pleased you are finding them of interest. Having set the mind thinking with the meme I am now expanding and providing the substance behind the truth.
I am finding them very good too. Thanks HG
Thank you Lou.
Since you’re being so wonderfully generous and truthful, what does the Creature look like behind closed doors, bare of constructs, and masks.
Where can it be seen and what does it feel like to you to be just you, stripped of illusion, others’ character traits, etc..
You will discover in the book The Creature.
I am waiting for this particular book to come out very much so!
I wonder as well….
How are you not constantly exhausted HG? How can this life possibly be rewarding for you?
It’s hard enough to get through life when you are just being yourself but to have to maintain many different facades seems impossible.
Is it really worth it?
It is not exhausting because it is what I am and what I am highly practised and effective at.
Is it worth it? Yes.
I think you just tell yourself that because you cannot – or will not – change. And because you do not know another way to be. How do you know it’s not exhausting when you have never given the alternative a try?
I know it is not exhausting because I am not exhausted, Flickatina.
Hmm..let me put this another way. After my father had his quadruple heart bypass operation he didn’t realise how ill he was before the op. What I’m saying, clearly not very well, is that unless you know how both ways are, how can you tell it’s easier to be the way you are?
I understand the point you are making, but i do not find doing what I do difficult. I am highly effective at it. I am capable, well-practised and have repeatedly honed and finessed my dark arts. They are natural to me Flickatina.
Well I guess if something is worth doing then it’s worth doing well. 😂😂
It’s his normal. People aren’t exhausted unless we involve our self in task or with people and things that cause exhaustion. In our natural state we shouldn’t feel exhaustion. This is his normal, if we that feel and have emotions had to maintain a facade, mimic behaviors of others, live a lie , and always fear of being unmasked. Of course we would be exhausted.
I think that they are exhausted but to admit this would be to admit vulnerability, and any vulnerability would inevitably be projected outward onto some unsuspecting target. Not to call HG a liar, but lol I mean he’s called himself that. It is his normal, the normal of carrying a heavy load for your entire life and lying to yourself via narcissism that it isn’t there, invariably desperate to convince others that the load is actually what makes them able to soar through the air.
Mr. T, do you find it strange that your very ‘essence of self’ has a categorical name for it (e.g., Sociopath/Narcissist)? I found it strange when I found out that my ‘self’ had a name for it, whether it be Codependent, PTSD, CPTSD, ADHD, and/or BPD.
No it is just a label for what I am to assist others in understanding. I know what I am.
Thank you
I did as you said as an experiment. Not quite a experiment because I knew the outcome based on your resources.
A mid to lesser told me he was into meditation ” really, please expand on which forms of meditation are you using?” silence😊he was reflecting from what I had shared before. He suggested we share each other’s methods and then asked if he could get back with me regarding answer. I am a tertiary source so I am sure he wasn’t angered. He called back 30 minutes later and said he was doing mindfulness meditation. 😊 I’ve actually called him on several things he stays away for a few days and the next time I see or hear from him he goes on about how busy he’s been and how he has to care for his daughter. Mind you, I don’t inquire about his absence. My typical response when he surfaces is hey you. Strange, because I am not a secondary source. He doesn’t receive much of a reaction from me other than a smile with thoughts in my mind this lying piece of crap.
Thank you, HG! Have a great night!
“I appear as the dictator with seemingly unrestrained power and influence as I choose to be whatever I want to be.
“Yet I have come to realise that I am the puppet government put in place by fuel.”
But of course this is also precisely the critique that philosopher, Georges Bataille, makes concerning Western culture and its aggressive pursuit of knowledge. The pursuit of control through knowledge ultimately enslaves. A critique of narcissism is also embedded here.
This is so surreal. HG, you are saying lessers and mid-rangers believe the construct they created is them. Does this mean they have only one construct then or they still have multiple constructs for different sources and different situations but they believe all these constructs are them?
One.
on the other hand…. “Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power” (George Bernard Shaw)…. Key word “Fools”
Shaw was a Fabian so he was jealous of those who had power, thus his remark has no legitimacy.
i can appreciate your perspective, yet i disagree
Indeed.
“I can be anyone or anything at anytime”
HG, Why did my ex tell me this?
I saw it firsthand when she took other peoples phones and pretended to be them in a conversation.
I would often take solace in texting her girlfriend when I was getting the silent treatment. It took me awhile to figure out that it was actually my ex that I was texting. She would go on and on about how she understood what I was going through and felt horrible about the pain and suffering that made my ex the way she was. She told me she knew how much my ex loved me but it was hard for her to get close to anyone and that scared her.
It was my ex the whole time!!!!
I called her out on it one day by telling her that it was her spelling that gave her away. She just smiled and never said a word about it and of course I let it slide.
What was the reason for all this behavior?
Was it just for the power?