The Narcissistic Truths – No. 204
153 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 204”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
What happens when you say goodbye to the narcissist during the devaluation stage? He was texting me that I was crazy, and I did not play his game, I simply said goodbye.
After listening to more of your videos, looks as if I was secondary and potential “primarily” (of course unbeknownst to me). When I asked for more of his time and appreciation he started to lash out. Instead of arguing back and forth with him, I said Goodbye. It’s been a little over a week,. Silence.
He will be infuriated and wounded. He will try to prevent your escape.
Possibly but he made it perfectly clear that he could not offer me more. Which got him started on attacking my character and when I said goodbye. For those two reasons, and his HUGE pride it seems unlikely he’ll reach out. My concentration now is on me, I’m on over drive in acquiring information on narcissists. Talk about a MEGA slap on the face 😱😱😱. All my past emotional roller coaster rides make sense now. I’m still in disbelief that I could not see the pattern, and traits. It all goes back to my father. Wow!!! God Bless you HG, you are always my bother in my Lords eyes.
Whatever. Hugsssssssss.
Babies are not omnipotent. They slide out of the canal and they are most vulnerable. They can’t feed, clothe, bathe or even wipe tbeir bums after they take a crap. If left to their own devices, they would likely be dead within days.
Someone, usually a parent, teaches the child how to perform these tasks. Hopefully, this is done with kindness and patience and empathy. Accidents will happen. Milk will be spilled, the toilet might be missed, you get the idea. When handled in a firm manner, not abusive, the child learns that it’s okay to make mistakes. When the opposite attitude is taken, the child feels criticized and it extends into adulthood. Each perceived slight feels like criticism even where none was intended.
Yes, true.
Who’s blog is this..? – Boy do you seem to have a slew of lieutenants on the blog G. How many ‘attorneys’ here are on the payroll, or are they that cheap they feel the need to defend the narcissist for free..? 💅
It is mine. I have no Lieutenants here. People express their views, some people agree, some people disagree – it neither makes them part of my coterie or my Lieutenants – they are used in my private life.
Those that provide an opinion in defence of me do so because they regard it as something they wish to express. By extension, does that mean I should suggest that those that attack me are in the pay of certain agitators?
It’s a possibility.
I see you haven’t approved nor commented to my response yet… But really G… Just who would willingly advocate for a narcissist who would even harm his little sister that is always there for him..? – A cheap bitch.. whether they’re paid or not.
Vashti
Perhaps it is just hard for you to entertain that some people can have intelligent conversation/debate without choosing a side. Some are able to see both sides and can appreciate when something resonates with them despite the speakers label. You must also notice with your laser focus that those comments that attempt to provoke him or are not in his favor (such as yours) are allowed. I have challenged him on many occasions but I can also give appreciation and credit where it is due (both free of charge btw). And we can ALL attempt to be civil and polite while getting our point across yes?
I asked you..? You’re a lieutenant. Clearly. Keep this one in check, G.
Vashti
Oh you never have to ask a Lieutenant Vashti-we are always ready to serve and protect against wandering dissidents.
Haha, yes HG, DO keep me in check or Vashti will have me virtually deposed.
With Love,
Esther
Glad you got it.
Meme looks like a man child, or Gollum’s cousin if he had one. I hope you have peace eventually.
Sigh….
Lots of invalidation going around here in this string! Just to reiterate what HG and BE were stating above:
Invalidation corrodes healthy communication and is divisive. It is a hallmark of emotional abuse. For those that need a definition of invalidation, it is this:”when a person’s thoughts and feelings are rejected, ignored, or judged. Invalidation is emotionally upsetting for anyone”.
No one can tell anyone what they are feeling, thinking or whether they are too sensitive or minimize past abuse. People don’t just get over abuse. It often can take years.
Another important reminder, not everyone responds to abuse the same way. Different people cope differently. Some build walls, some sink into themselves, some fall down the rabbit hole, some at the bottom of the bottle. Some of us are diagnosed and some not. Judgment here does not help in the healing process either way.
Now, it also appears that there is some drama baiting as well. Indeed, drama does seem to make the world go around, just be aware that sometimes it also leads to wounds.
Wishing you all peace and biscuits(gluten free for me).
~Indy
Childhood pain never goes away. So I tend to think “There – but for the grace of God, go I”. What kept me from becoming a narcissist or having another personality disorder, I surely don’t know. The grace of God, I think, but I don’t know WHY. But I do know if I look back on certain memories, I still want to cry. I’m glad I have a tender heart for people, for animals and even for trees and plants that are in distress. I know HG’s blog has helped me and I’m thankful I know about it. I honestly never think of him as being a narcissist or predator but as a source of information. THANK YOU!
All past memories sadden me very much.
It sounds like some of us may all need to read The Four Agreements (when we finish reading all of HG’s books of course)
Numb, I have all of these books and have read the Four Agreements years ago. Very simple to live by in theory but it is most difficult to execute.
They are daily reminders for me.
So very true! I’m a work in progress.
I really do think Mona has been attacked enough for her opinions. Whether she is right, or wrong, she has a right to not keep being attacked. We are all here to heal, and learn. Obviously, Mr. Tudor does not need others to defend him. He is a grown man and can do this for himself. In the past, I also have called Mr. Tudor a liar, and called him names. Then I recanted. Then, I recanted from my recanting. And, then I recanted from the last recant. I got attacked for it a bit, but when I was attacked, I told my attackers to go f**** themselves. And, everybody got over it. And, then when I got mad at Mr. T, again, no one attacked me, or said anything against me, not even Mr. T. They just all ignored me, and waited for me to ‘be nice’, again. So…ya…whatever. I forgot my point. I like Mona. And, I appreciate Mr. Tudor.
Claudia
Yes and all that drama you just reviewed is inevitable from time to time, but due to a misunderstanding is different from being intentionally provoked. It also is distracting and takes away from the purpose of the blog, which is to exchange information and experiences, not to just come in and take a dump all over everyone when youre in a pissy mood or off the meds and then disappear.
Yaa, I see what you are saying, and the difference. Sometimes I misunderstand because I tend to think “outside of the box”, and then get lost because I cannot find my way back to the box, again. Mr. Tudor helps to put me back inside that box so I can understand things better, and not feel confused about what’s going on.
You might want to run that by HG.
Perhaps he enjoys a bit of drama and catfighting on his blog now ant then?
One can set up a blog without comments or moderate out provocative comments if the goal is strictly informational.
Just sayin’
Claudia, Beautifully Broken. I like this name and I think you should have it and use it. You know to always breathe deeply and relax and focus.
Thank you, AH OH. This is a good reminder for me to breathe deeply, relax, and focus. I cannot change my name, again, because Mr. Tudor doesn’t want me to change it again. I was changing it too much, and it made everyone angry 😢. Just trying to throw the Narcs off my tracks, if they are following me still. But, I do like your name you gave to me, AH OH. It is creative and poetic. 🍭🍭🍭🍫🍫🍫🍬🍬🍬 Candy time for you, again. 🍰🍰🍰🍪🍪🍪🍩🍩🍩
Well Claudia A.K.A. Beautifully Broken, I will address you as such.
Thank you for the candy, but I must watch my waistline. HG might not like his women fat. Chubby, yes, fat, NO.
Remember, Breath and keep your chill pills right next to your computer.
Yaaaa…❤️. Here’s some salad 🥗🥗🥗 and grapes 🍇🍇🍇. I like Jujubes 😊😋🤗. YAY! ❤️
I like Jujubes too. I like grapes in my chicken salad. I made a wonderful new salad yesterday. Fennel, chic pees or (garbanzo beans) , grapefruit and lemon, olive oil, salt, pepper. SOOO GOOD! I am making it again today.
I make several different salads and it is not your mamma’s iceburg lettuce salads!
NOW KEEP THIS NAME!!!!!
I will ask Mr. Tudor if I can change my name one last time to this one that you said, Ah Oh. It is very poetic.
I see he approved.
Strangely, I changed the name to the one you gave me, and it switched back.
Umm, this is confusing.
Wow HG.
What an impressive group of lieutenants you have assembled!
The course of the comments eerily befits the meme.
There are none assembled here.
You are so aware
yet blind
Oh geez…..another one thats got it all figured out….here we go again…..
Hello to you too Lieutenant NarcAngel. 😉
I’ll take it over the “newly enlightened and sniping of others” entrance you made. Your introduction was less than stellar and insulted others off the cuff. I know Narcs less rude than that. Welcome.
I don’t recall sniping nor insulting anyone, Narc Angel. All I did was note the dynamic going on in this thread. Terribly sorry if I inflicted injury in the process (or perhaps you are projecting?)
Are you a narc, then?
Dawninggrace
No injury but you “noted” an “impressive group of Lieutenants” where there were none. You missed the mark there, but you got me bang on. Narc Lieutenant projecting, so youre not to blame for mirroring some of the haughty contempt we’re famous for. Passive agressive is the hallmark of a Mid-range Narc so thats you then? Glad to have another on our side. So then, will you be sharing anything about your situation or are your powers limited to just prematurely assessing and labelling people? Thats helpful, because people who come here to learn how to a deal with the Narcs in their life like us just cant get enough of that.
I’m not a narc. Based on the the recent “Supernova Empath” blog, I’ll own that.
My dad was a narc and I was married to Voldemort for decades. Teen son is in counseling to abort tendencies (apple and tree and all that…). I have a really hard time wrapping my mind around the concept of a female narc. Don’t believe I’ve ever met one.
Dawninggrace
Oh Im sure you have met female Narcs. You may think that because generally (and incorrectly) they are just labelled bitches lol. After reading here a bit you may even look at your female friends and aquaintabces in a different light. My step brother (my StepNarcs biological son) is him cloned, and yet he does not see it. Would strike out at you for even saying so. Is this the case with your son or does he accept he is like his father? I am ever amazed that my brother cannot see it but then as HG points out-most of them are unaware of what they are. It also interests me from the genetic vs environment and behaviour point of view. Thanks for sharing.
S.o.r.r.y.
Actually he always said “STOP ATTACKING ME!”
Same thing.
MONA
I am one cold bitch, but you make me want to cuddle with serial killers to get some warmth after reading your posts.
Well…….damn! Didnt I miss a party…….
We had cheese and pineapple on sticks, jelly and ice cream, played charades and pass the parcel! Where were you?? 😮
FLICKATINA
Oh you know…..negotiating beating some guys ass with a belt…….your typical Tuesday. Clearly I should have been HERE.
Mona have you heard about neuroplascisity? It maybe be useful for you to look it up seeing as you have an interest in science and do not understand the way hg and other narcissists brains work!
I made my icon picture of my mouth, this time, like others do sometimes. I am trying to fit in. It should be coming up soon.
I simply cannot go for the ‘bloody-face, with the eyes rolling in the back of the head’, icons.
HG, it was only the typical behaviour of a narcissist (my narcissistic behaviour, not yours) . Nothing else. And you said that you are a sociopath. You told me in each topic, how you treat others. Now I treated you with the same behaviour. I denied your pain in childhood. Of course it was an attack. And it was a mean attack. I know and it was done intentionally. Yes, I resile from my position, because you showed for the first time an authentic behaviour to an attack. You showed a human reaction, not an artificial reaction. I do not change my mind every minute, but I change it, if it is necessary and I was wrong.
I was not sure about my sixth point. I said so. I really understand that this one is a theme, which no one wants to talk about. And probably (I do not know!) the females of your family berated you and said that you lied or you did not even talk about it, because they would have said, it does not matter. I really do not know. But here are so many women who tell you, that it is deep pain. Very cruel pain. They do not betray you. You do not believe me? I understand that. But look at their comments. They tell you, over and over again, that they believe you and share your pain.
I cannot share your pain. I have had two narcissists in my life. My mother and my personal devil. No, I cannot feel any compassion for you. Not now.
I do not require your compassion.
You don’t have to. We generally give it freely and without expectation of reward.
I’ve been reading your blog on and off (off sometimes due to Wacky Adventures with My Narcissist) since mid-December, and I’ve come to love your erudite persona. I accept who you are or how you are behaving within the context of your blog.
You are far more intelligent and secure in yourself than I could ever hope to be. So, Mr. Tudor, you’ll be happy to know that I do not have compassion for you. (That is the most back handed compliment I have ever offered anyone before.)
I don’t know what your end game is with all of this, but you’ve saved me a lot of pain, and it appears you are doing the same for so many woman.
I really appreciate you. Thank you.
You are welcome LEL.
I know, but sometimes I cannot help it. I think you must have been very hurt in your upbringing to turn off your humanity as you have done so. It does not make it right what you do, of course, but I cannot fathom what type of childhood you must have had. I thought mine was very horrific, but yours must have been more injurious than I can comprehend. I am sorry for that child who went through this brutality, but I still do not understand why Sociopaths become what they are. I do not think that even children of concentration camps, and sex trafficking abuse, become Sociopaths, as a general rule. Some become that much more compassionate, empathetic, and kind. Maybe it is a very distinctively different sort of abuse upon the male child than I cannot entertain in my head, at this time, that makes for a Sociopath/Malignant Narcissist. It is a mystery to me that I am not privileged to dissect.
ladyeverlasting…that was very nicely put.
HG – whilst you may not want nor require my compassion – you have it anyway. At first I had reserved it for that poor child that was never loved properly – but you are still that child.
A mother should love her children unconditionally – love should not be given out just because you did well in school, won the race etc. I rarely tell my children that I am proud of them because they should not be achieving for me – they should be doing it for themselves. I tell them that they should be proud of themselves. They are not there to justify or glorify my existence. I hope my children know that I love them without question – they may challenge me and I may not like their behaviour from time to time but that will never stop me from loving them.
If I could go back in time to little HG, I would love you unconditionally. I would tuck you in at night, read you stories, play with you, soothe you when you were ill, hold you when you cried, laugh with you when you were happy, set a place at dinner for your imaginary friend and encourage you to be whoever you wanted to be. It breaks my heart that I can’t do this.
I realise you may look on this with a level of contempt and disdain – I don’t care. I am who I am and I won’t apologise for it.
Fair play to you Flickatina, I am who I am as well and I will not apologise for it either.
Rock on!
Oh Boo Whoo. The ‘mushiness’ and your solid response to it makes me like you here HG 💅
Mona,
It is not up to you to “deny” anyone’s trauma or pain – HG’s or otherwise.
You say you are not judging and yet, there you go judging. Pot called kettle black and so on and so forth.
I do not believe HG ever asked anyone here on this blog to have compassion for him. The reactions he receives from those who frequent this space are (for the most part) genuine. Some genuinely feel compassion for him, others despise the way he operates but want to learn, and others clutter up the space with vitriol and nonsensical contributions.
This is quite likely the most honest you will see HG so to accuse him of lying is 1. ludicrous as he has no reason to do so among his readers and 2. unforgivable because here he is opening up about abuse he suffered as a child and you have the bloody gall to say he is faking it.
I wonder how you would feel if people accused you of faking the trauma you sustained at the hands of the narcissists in your life. If they said it was all made up just so you could gain sympathy from people here. I doubt you would appreciate it very much.
HG has always been respectful with everyone here – even those who have attempted to push his buttons.
Surely you can do the same.
Bloody_Elemental,
No, I do not clutter his page with “nonsensical contributions”. I stopped doing that for the most part, a while back. Lately I’ve been really trying to focus, and keep my comments on target. And, I have not been impulsive for a long time, especially now since I am healing. I said I was sorry for everything HG endured when he was a child. It, in fact, breaks my heart, and I wish he’d let me comfort him, but he would not allow this.
Claudia,
Firstly, why would you even assume I was talking to you when my comment was clearly made in response to Mona?
Secondly, your on again/off again love affair with HG is boring and predictable.
Thirdly, you do often clutter up the forum with nonsense. That is a fact and it is something most here have come to accept. I suspect many here just choose to ignore you.
It remains to be seen whether your participation here will be fruitful for you or whether it will deteriorate into the insanity we have all become so accustomed to.
Bloody_Elemental,
I assumed such because you have made that statement toward me in the past about my comments being nonsensical. As far as my “boring and predictable love affair” (with Mr. T), it is not my goal to entertain you. I find you to be dominating, rude, and furthermore, your icon picture looks like Linda Blair from the Exorcist when she was puking up all her green vomit.
Claudia,
If you had read my original reply properly, you would have noted it was addressed to Mona and had nothing to do with you whatsoever.
Your opinion of me does not phase me in the least, which must be sad for you as it demonstrates how little I care about what you think or have to say.
It is true I am domineering, thank you for noticing. As for being rude, that is something you should understand quite well since you have been quite rude, disrespectful and downright nasty with some of the people here.
I am ALWAYS respectful, unless provoked, and sweetheart, you are trying to provoke me.
You enjoy creating drama but sadly, you are just not that good at it.
You enjoy the attention you receive when you are being nasty, and you enjoy the attention you receive when you crawl back, tail between your legs, and apologize to everyone.
Your MO is the same each and every time you reappear here. It starts out fine and then quickly deteriorates into nonsense and nastiness.
My profile picture is of the stunning Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, so if you were trying to fire a shot at my personal appearance, your bullet did not even come close to the target.
Do you feel a kinship with Linda Blair’s character in Exorcist, Claudia? Since you are both quite adept at spewing vile, nasty tripe from your mouths?
BE, you are not worth any sort of lengthy reply. But, thank you for yours! You must really care about what I have to say 😊😉😋
I am not worth any sort of lengthy reply and yet the sheer number of your replies to my comments speaks volumes.
This coming from someone who once commented on the blog that she enjoys any sort of attention I give to her.
I won this battle the moment you decided to reply to a comment that was not even partially aimed in your general direction. You engaged me.
In fact, you attempted to engage me with an asinine comment about the baby meme on one of HG’s posts having chest hair, which I ignored.
Your commentary and observations just disappear into the background, sweetheart. You came to me, which is proof that no matter how domineering and rude you think I am, you cannot help yourself.
Perhaps you should go spend some time staring into the sun to see if you can find the god you credit with your salvation and healing? Perhaps he would be willing to listen to your nonsense though somehow, I suspect he has better things to do with his time.
You are just angry because I stood up for Mona due to her being continually attacked…and, No One dare go against what BE says (cuz she is a Lesser Mid-Range Narc trying to come off as a Grand Elite).
At least I do apologize, and sincerely mean it, and make it better…until a Narc comes on trying to provoke me, Bloody E. Whereas Narcs never apologize cuz they are so utterly “perfect”, Bloody E.
😛 😛 😛
Or, maybe you snapped that selfie right after you tumbled down the staircase, and fell on your face…or, was it directly after you ate the roadkill…?
I am who I am as well and I will not apologise for it either.
I do so wish I could properly respond to you, but since I have no idea what you are saying, it makes it next to impossible.
I will not lower myself to the Kindergarten standard you are trying to set here, Claudia, and it does not seem fair for me to offer you well phrased, intelligent comments and replies when you are not capable of doing the same.
Do not fret, pet. I am sure you will find some poor soul to play in your sandbox with you.
BE, you already have 😘
I am sorry, but I do not have a picture of you, and I, playing in a little sandbox together, B.E. But, the reality does exist, as noted from all your above comments.
I hear ya!
In my experience, compassion and empathy toward them winds up enabling them. Feed the monster and it grows
Oh ya, that’s what happened with last Narc. He used my compassion to further crush and destroy me…but, I’m on my way back thanks to The Good Lord ❤️
My babies were phenomenal, too. Then, they became teenagers. LOL.
I would like to comment that my nasty remarks are not premeditated, but strictly impulsive. And if I find I have hurt anyone’s feelings, I become very tearful and cry, and then I try to make it better. I have sunglasses on, right now, because my eyes are red from crying so much. Sometimes I do not even know that I am making a nasty comment until after I have already posted it, and see others’ reactions from it. So, I am sorry. I meant to hurt no one’s feelings, or to judge.
HG, if you allow, I would like to answer to the other ones.
First: I really know that he helps all of you. And I respect and appreciate that a lot. I mentioned it before.
Second: I do not accuse mothers whose babies are not easy to handle. I just wrote about one , only one special phenomena. We all talk about it in our family, because it was so special. We have a lot of babies in our family too, which are not easy. And I do not accuse their mothers. It is not easy with an ill baby or a cry baby. The mothers suffer a lot with their babies. And they all have good working relationships, loving husbands and a healthy family environment. Despite that the babies have problems. I did not put the blame one you, because your baby is not easy.
Third: Yes, I felt the pain of other people and I really comforted them. Many people told me that, if they did not lie.Two of them said to me, that I saved their life, although I think it was an exaggeration. I
Fourth: I do not feel compassion with a predator. He tells so many ugly things about how he treats people which are full of trust and who felt compassion for him. He talked about his wish to “kill” people by silent treatment on his last topic. How can I defend such an opinion?
Fifth: I know some people who were sexually abused, it is still no reason to behave like he does.They do not run around and behave like him. They try to handle their bad childhood experiences in a healthier way. Do they do not need your compassion?
Sixth: I believe, but I do not know, that he talked a lot about his terrible childhood to his soulmates and they all supported him. They were terribly punished for their compassion.
Seventh: I do not believe that you help him by compassion. He is used to it by all his soulmates and by you. And it did not work! He needs to know that he is no god on earth, although he believes it. He is no god. If he is a god, I am a female goddess..(That is a joke, I feel human) I do not feel superior ,nor inferior, only equal to him. Is that a crime?
Seventh: I am glad that he showed a normal angry reaction to my (admittingly nasty) comment. His comment shows to me, that he does not want to be considered as a devil and that he was truly hurt in his childhood..
Eigth: How do you dare to judge about me?. I do not judge about you. I only do not understand your compassion for a predator.
Mona, I will make two points.
1. You suggested that my childhood pain was pretend. You now resile from that position. I see in your Seventh point you admit it was a nasty comment and therefore pre-meditated. That has given me the exact confirmation I require.
2. Your sixth point is incorrect. I have never spoken about the abuse from my childhood to “soulmates”, girlfriends, friends etc.
Oh wait, you were not talking to me. I have been doing really good, lately!
Moaning,
I hope you realize I was speculating and not judging. I simply talked of compassion to say that if you practice being empathetic it becomes easier to be compassionate towards ones even if they exhibit predatory traits. Whether you feign compassion or really feel it does not matter if you are excersizing it in a believable manner. The recipient of such compassion may take note of your kindness and think about their positioning. This goes back to hope. I hope that being compassionate,in this case toward HG, will set a good example. I fully understand that he doesn’t want to change. I fully understand that he is abusive. Instead of joining him and not acting that way toward him, even though he deems it useless, I hold my esteem high because I tried to keep my integrity. He could say I am stupid or emotionally contaminated or whatever negative thing about my doing this, but I did not change my behavior because he didn’t like it. I held fast to my conviction and I feel good about myself for doing so. HG has no feeling towards me. He may abuse me. He may hold my comments hostage and he may never acknowledge me or respond to my comments ever again. No matter what he does, It still doesn’t make it right for me to lose my integrity because of his or others behaviors.
Yes ❤️
Anna Belle Black
I completely agree.
HG was devastatingly kind to my request at removing a few of my comments from the very beginning of my blog participation, before I knew my comments were public. I was at his mercy, and he took his time to remove these comments in which I am very grateful. He does control his blog, as we each control our own personal blogs, but if he did not, it would be complete chaos. Mr. T has also helped me to control my own impulsive, chaotic, and overly-emotional comments and responses. I am grateful to The Good Lord for HG’s help. I know that HG doesn’t do stuff out of kindness for others, and has ulterior motives, but The Good Lord can use anyone, whosoever, for good. I am being helped by HG. This comment is not in anyway to storm against any above comments, but merely my own insight.
That’s a freaky-ass picture *shudder* But very apt!
Mona,
I’m not going to flame you for your opinion. We all visit this site for our own reasons. HG is very open about who and what he is. If we are “addicted”, it is for the answers and information we dearly seek. He certainly does what he does here for his own gain, and that’s a plug for his books. BTW—good for him and good for those needing answers. Visiting this site has given me awareness to the deadly trap I was in, the seriousness of my situation, and how I got there in the first place. All of these thing I wish I’d have know years ago. My hope for you Mona, is for peace and comfort for whatever your situation is.
Is there a need for cuddling, to the point where the narcissist doesn’t want to let go? As if hanging on for dear life.
Only on a cliff face Hope.
Okay, now THAT’S funny! Mine liked to spoon/cuddle – unless that was just for show?
Thank you, point taken but is it possible that the “energy” you all take might actually be the “emotions” you’ve been lacking? Empath’s fill the void with Love, Kindness, Peace etc.
I understand your point but of course we take negative fuel also and we experience some of those emotions.
I imagine you would know all the negative emotions due to a negative atmospheric. Therefore, with the void of a positive atmosphere how would you know the good emotions? Just a thought that’s all.
Indeed and such observations are always welcome. I do not know sadness or guilt or upset for instance.
To avoid sadness or upset, I tend to keep myself overly busy. But there comes a point where I need to let go, and release all the emotions. In doing so I embrace the good days, appreciate the positive people in my life and stay away from all negativity. Do you ever let your fuel run out and process what you’re thinking and likely feeling?
No, I cannot let the fuel run out.
Hope you don’t mind me asking, why not? Maybe once you let the fuel run out, you’ll start to feel your own emotions. I’m sure it’ll be overwhelming but it’ll pass. Anyhow again just a thought
As mentioned before, the isolation project is aimed at that occurring.
Wowww! Did this happen?
I’m thinking the brain is plastic and if you had a whole team of experts and some sort of intervention rehab…I don’t know, something legit and carefully crafted…maybe you could be vulnerable and have it heal instead of harm.
I wonder about narcs kept in solitary confinement. I wonder what happens. It’s an abusive unsafe environment in prison so hopefully it doesn’t make it worse. I do wonder what happens.
I’ve been reading about the abuse in the camps they call black sites where they aren’t even charged but held for years and manipulated and abused. An interrogation tactic was to exhaust and isolate them then the only human contact was the interrogation. It damages them greatly pyschologicaly, understandably. But even normal people in normal prisons that have been to isolation can be harmed by it.
I just wonder. Psychology of it all is fascinating.
WOW you sound just like my ex would have explained anything and everything!!
The first reaction is to laugh about the absurdity of the situation this image portrays… then you feel compassion for the wounded soul beneath the fury.
I saw that meme just as HG has described it in his reply. It’s that childish tantrum and unexplained rage in reaction to something a non narc would just brush off as a minor slight. When a child throws a tantrum it’s not always possible to determine what triggered it, what the reasons for it are or what outcome they hoped to achieve…so it is when we experience this from a narc.
Thank you for your quick and honest answer. Yes, I missed the point of the meme. Yes, you often react in your private life like a little child, which was wounded. Then learn to deal with it like an adult! We all have our wounds, heavy wounds and you have to accept that too, especially in private. You are the one who peeks in that wounds again and again and again in your private life. Not me, or others here on this blog. Many people try to give you help and support and understanding and empathy.. I do not do it anymore. That is right. I am honest. You still present yourself very often as if you were a god. A god needs no help. I am not perfect, far away from that and I am not a victim, far away from that. And I do not want to control people.That is not my aim. I just tell you what I think. And I will get the shit-storm of others. Yes, you have been wounded very much in your early childhood, but what do you think have others suffered in their childhood? Do you think, your suffering was much more than the suffering of others? Even in suffering you must be the “best” one who suffered much more than anybody else. I do not know very much about your childhood. That is true. I do not know how terrible it really was. But it does not excuse your behaviour towards your soulmates and others.
I do not understand, why are you so angry just now about my name for you ? You always wanted to be a devil. Is that changing? Think about it!
“Conquer the narcissist” that was one you wrote somewhere. I do it.
Last one, my name is apt. Which one do you mean? The ape, the snake or Mona Lisa? I prefer the last one. Thank your for your compliment. (Only the last sentences are nasty, not the ones before. They present only my truth opinion.
I was not angry about your name for me whatever that was, my response was as a consequence of your statement about my “pretend childhood pain”. Your comment lacked foundation and I now realise was an entirely pre-meditated comment rather than a mistaken observation.
You do not write like a native English speaker.
Look up “moaner”. That is how I understood the barb.
I thought it was referring to Mona as a “moaner.”. 😀
Well, I remember the film : Rosemaries baby. The film ends too early. Now I know what became of Rosemaries baby. That is you, HG.
Do not compare yourself with a normal baby. A normal baby is able to feel real empathy, not to fake it. There is a lot of science about it. I do not understand why so many victims identify with your (pretended childhood pain) and want to help you. The creature is the fear to loose control about other people, to fail. You told it somewhere, not only once. What do you want to write about the creature? There is not much to write. It is all mentioned in the sentence above. That is all, I believe. There is no broken child inside how many of your followers believe. I just think of your story about the cookies at your grandmas house and how one of your teachers wrote about the little HG. It is no defense mechanism. You control this blog, manipulate the order of published answers and do what you always do.Controlling and manipulating people. You fake empathy to reach your aims behind this blog. But nevertheless it helps some people to get out of their – real life -destructive relationships and get them into an addiction to your blog. I include myself to that addiction. Thank God, it is only virtuell.
I just image the shitstorm against me, when it is published.
You have missed the point of the meme. It is not a comparison with a normal baby but rather evidencing the child-like tantrums of ignited fury which occur when we are wounded.
Pretended childhood pain? So you do not think there was any pain? You know nothing.
People want to help because that is their empathic nature. So, you are telling them what they should and should not do are you? Denying them how they wish to consider the situation. Sounds rather controlling to me.
Yes I control this blog. I do not manipulate the order of answers – I deal with those that require no comment or observation first, those which require longer reading, consideration and answers take longer to address, it is as simple as that.
Yes I control and manipulate people in my private life.
Yes I fake empathy in private life to secure my aims.
Your name is apt.
That parting shot made me spit my coffee out! hahahaha.
How have you managed to successfully fake empathy?
Has anyone seen through or been suspicious of your fake empathy?
Is there anything about empathy you haven’t been quite able to master – to your knowledge?
I think this insight from you is worthy of a post.
Easily, I have watched how people respond and the copy what they say and do. I have learned to recognise situations where a certain reaction would be expected and if I deem it appropriate to act in that way, then I shall.
A couple of IPPSs. I caught them regarding me in a curious fashion on a couple of occasions so they had a suspicion but did not see through.
Yes. I cannot feel it. If I saw a starving child in the street, if I saw fuel to be gained and a facade to maintain, I would consider giving fuel, otherwise I would just walk past. I am devoid of any emotional connection in that regard and it has served me well in getting done what I have to do. There is no scope for hesitating owing to the interfering qualities of emotional empathy or emotional contagion.
Goodness – this is the first time I have seen any kind of irritability from you HG!
HG, I do not really think you have to respond to such comments. They are emotional, this is venting. You are who you are, Mona knows it, we know it. Very few long-term readers of this blog believe in possibility of your transformation to a real human being. You sold your soul to a devil long time ago. I am compassionate to the HG abused as a child but not to the adult who destroys others. Yes, the abused child no longer exist and he is an evil grown-up. Mona, I agree to the statement that HG uses same tricks on us as in real life. He is the same person with same personality disorder on this blog. Why would he stop manipulating us if he can, this gives him power and control? He can not stop it. This is his drug, too much fun. His expertise though is helpful to us thus all of us come back to him. Even those who criticize him heavly.
Right, this is not a normal baby. This baby already has hair on its chest.
!
-> ” ! ” <- Splendid!
Well. I know there is pain and it’s not pretend!
Speaking of answering posts, are mine weird? … Because some are still in moderation. I know I asked you not to post my first one
Babies don’t feel empathy, they don’t have developed their brains well enough yet, and empathy is also a learned behavior. I didn’t learn it, either.
Babies are very egoistical and don’t care who looks after them: Because they have to survive, it’s a matter of life and death. Take that security away and you have a baby with fear of death. Repeat that, traumatize them – …. and that won’t simply heal over time. And presumably, HG remembers only bits of later years, not baby years (I don’t know of course).
You can break your addiction yourself.
I believe the word you are looking for is omnipotent – babies believe they are the centre of the universe and everything revolves round them.
A narc is the same but in a grown up body – the picture was perfect .
Ava 101, there are new science reports about it. They feel empathy. It was neglected for a long time. It was surprising, even for the scientists too. They feel much more than you believe. They feel a lot before birth and react to it with their small means. They even feel that there is no welcome for them and try to survive. After birth they need someone to react to their little means in a appropriate way. Mothers often fail and that causes a lot of problems later. Babies are not that egoistical you think. It depends on the relationship between mother and baby. A phenomena: My cousin loved her unborn baby a lot. But one day she said to her huge baby stomach: “You must come out of me, it is too hard for me to hold you any longer.” They went to hospital, there they were told, they have to go home. It is too early. One hour later the baby was born and my cousin went for a walk …. It is fascinating. The baby is a lovely child and it was an easy baby, because the baby knows instinctively it has a caring and loving mother. It felt safe. They even found a rhythmus for feeding and sleeping which was pleasant for both of them.
Absolutely – empathy is a learned behaviour.
There’s an excellent book called ‘Why love matters’ which explains all of this.
Not forgetting either that children are naturally narcissistic. That’s why I said in a post some time ago that childhood narcissism is unlikely to be diagnosed.
Mona – I am sorry but that is complete and utter bollocks. A baby is not “easy” because it knows it has a caring and loving mother? How unbelievably insulting to all parents of babies who are less “easy”! And a baby is not born because the mother asks it to be born! Do you have any basic understanding of biology and childbirth at all?
For the record I am an extremely caring and loving mother, yet my youngest child was/is anything but “easy”
Flickatina, I love both my children indescribably, and whilst my older is easy-going, and extremely reasonable, and was always so easy to make happy, my youngest is a bullet, akin to a live electrical wire. I love my children the same, yet the endearing younger one is also, anything, but easy.
Well according to Mona you were only a caring and loving mother with your eldest. Bad Claudia!! 😂😂
😛😝😜
ava101. .. True, infants do not have much capabilities for anything. But once some basic motor skills are developed, you will see signs of empathy if you are paying attention. As social beings, it is well within their capability but if the mirroring is not their to reinforce it, then it will fade out. And that part of them will never develop.
Scientists. Why the heck does it always take SCIENTISTS to validate what empaths can see, intuit and feel?! Of course they feel and have empathy. My daughter was a beam of light and love to everyone from the moment she was born practically. I co slept with her for years and I could put her to sleep by regulating my own rhythms and vice versa. Very symbiotic. And it would not have worked if the innate ability wasn’t there.
Its not a perfect world. Just because a baby is born doesn’t mean the mother and child are a perfect match. Biology is a huge factor. Available attention in larger families. There are many things that go into the entire nurturing/growing dynamic. But I do not for a moment believe that empathy is entirely learned. I think its the opposite, it is more likely present and then unlearned due to family/culture and more.
This is a good decoration for the baby’s room…lol!
https://abb625.files.wordpress.com/2017/02/wp-1488311363991.jpg
But then this has a lot to do with mirror neurons. I don’t know but I would imagine that a little child starts by imitating empathy, and as you said, if the mirror neurons are developing through loving nurturing, they might then develop it and if not, they die or something.
I have no idea how my own would have developed with two narcissistic parents … but I have a wonderful photography of me in my grandmother’s arms (me about 2 days old) which seems to show a very content baby …
However, I know that I haven’t learned much empathy from my parents, I remember from very ealy childhood days that I didn’t have the slightest idea what to think, do or say when a friend of mine cried. 🙁 And my speech might have been rather rude very early on, that’s what I learned.
Just my thoughts, I don’t really know, I think I will do some reading on that.
Mona,
You said you do not understand why victims identify with childhood pain and want to help. Empathically speaking it would go against ones character to do so. That is called compassion. Empathizing with the problem and acting to correct it. If you have experienced childhood abuse, it is carried with you for life. It does not go away. The only thing one can do is develop coping mechanisms. You self protect. If it is a natural inclination to protect ones self, then all that needs to be done is to learn to display that inclination outwardly towards others. Whether it’s a fake compassion or real, the end result is the same. As far as a shit storm against you, I have noticed that you state your comments in a provocative manner. You can give your opinion without antagonizing others, yet it seems you do not. Could it be that provoking a little chaos gives you something that you are missing? I sincerely ask that because sometimes when one lives in an unstable environment and that environment gains a level of stability, it becomes intolerable so one will create drama subconsciously or consciously in order to feel comfortable.
Mona, say it how you feel. There is some truth to your words.
And in this, he sure does have control of the blog. I will venture to say a very firm hand on it too.
Mona
Have you ever truly felt anothers pain?
Assuming anything is a mistake, doesn’t matter who you are dealing with. Yet ones perspective can cloud facts, then twist things to keep things “right” for them.
Someone sounds triggered…..
With all due respect, a great many people have come here to seek answers, to heal, and to better understand some of the traumatic experiences they’ve had with narcissists; myself included. I have also recommended others to this blog and the author’s publications to the same end. The information I have gleaned here has been invaluable to me in educating myself and others about NPD. You don’t have to like the source of the information, nor do you have to read it. If you find yourself “addicted”, that is something you have to deal with and that is not the author’s fault. I neither support nor condone the author’s narcissistic behaviors, I am however appreciative of the information he provides.
I’m not sure what you had hoped to accomplish by flaming on the author except to be disruptive and insulting and achieved nothing save fueling the author and making yourself look foolish.
If you have some unresolved issues, seek help. If you have some personal issue with the author, take it off the blog and address the author directly.
It appears Captain Obvious (Mona) has steered the SS WTF into choppy waters.
I hope you know how to swim. Or not.
B_E, I noticed that the baby in the meme has hair on its chest.
Mr. Tudor, does it help out with fuel when a Primary Source is on their period, or do you run for the hills, too? What about if it’s much more severe than PMS…say PMDS (Premenstrual Dysphoric Syndrome)? I seriously think that the Narcissist timed the 10 days before my period just so he could further provoke, and antagonize me. He made it a point to always know when it was 10 days beforehand, even better than I, myself, knew.
A heightened emotional response as a consequence of a period is all fuel.
Sigh…💘💞
Ps.
When he is not like that he acts like he’s Christ walking on waters while dropping orders on everyone around him. Disgusting.
I think it’s so admirable that you make yourself vulnerable enough to even write these articles and post these pictures. I know you have an ulterior motive, but still… it quite adorable in how you express yourself.
ha ha ha…I’m not laughing at you, HG; the picture is very, very funny 😀 ha ha ha… 🍼🍼🍼
And there he is, in all his splendor: my father. Good thing that hating him so much I always looked for guys who were the opposite of him, except this last one, which pretended to be something he obviously wasn’t.
Beyond the hate, there is pity.
Creepy Man Baby pic. See the skit from Saturday Night Live of The Baby Boss on YouTube. Funny stuff.
It is not funny however to have a inner child that dictates you to abuse people to feel powerful. The child forever wounded by an adult(s) who they couldn’t fight against. As an adult that child takes their new found physical and mental growth to use as a weapon to repititiously get back at those adults who harmed them. Vicious cycle. Heal that child and you get some semblance of decency, trust, faith and love. If you want to.
Christ HG! Where in the hell did you get this picture? It cracked me up!
I burst out with this one.
I know his brother! Unfortunately, a bit too well. Very scary!