Jettison
There comes a time when this must happen to everybody who has been ensnared by us. There is no hope for anything different. In the way that the world keeps on turning and the planets waltz around the sun, we will always cast you to one side. Of the many cruelties which we exact against you, this ranks as one of the worst. You might think that it is a blessing that the daily machinations and manipulations have ended but you will not see it that way when you are discarded. Indeed, you may not ever realise it.
You are given no warning that you are about to be discarded, although if you know to look for them, there are actually signs that point to what is about to happen. Invariably you are unable to see them because you cannot see or think clearly for the maelstrom that continues to rage around you. There are times when the discard takes place that it is almost as if we have vanished into thin air. Yesterday we met you for lunch as normal and today you have no idea where we are. You have telephoned but our number is no longer in service. You call our work but you are told that we are unavailable as our assigned gatekeeper keeps you at bay. You wait around trying to catch a glimpse of us in order to speak with us and find out what is going on. You see hide nor hair of us and rather than be angry you are worried and concerned both for us and our relationship, or at least what was once our relationship. This form of the discard is swift and brutal. Here yesterday and gone today. We put in place a ring of steel which we will not allow you to penetrate. When this form of discard has been effected you are actually receiving a double whammy of discard and an absent silent treatment. This is designed to reinforce like a hammer blow that you are no longer of any use to us. We do not want to see you, we do not want to hear from you and we do not want to read your e-mails, messages and texts. At least not yet. This form of discard arises because we have already replaced you. We have found a new primary source of fuel and he or she is a thousand times better than you. We have brought down the shutters, raised the drawbridge and built our castle walls thick and high as we now sit in the throne room with our new, wonderful and perfect primary source by our side. You have been struck from the record, deleted and erased. We do not want you distracting us from this most precious person that we have found. The truth is that the memory of us being linked to you irritates and infuriates us. We thought that you were the one who would supply us with positive fuel always. Despite the other failures that had gone before you, you showed such promise and we gave you everything in order to seduce you. Now you are placed on the appliance pile, discarded and broken, of no current use to us. You let us down and we bristle at the thought that we even considered you might be of use to us. Your failure and the fact we chose you means that we feel criticised and the ignition of our fury results in a cold fury that creates this icy hinterland that we place between you and us. We want nothing more to do with you. Until we decide of course it is time to hoover you. This sudden and unexplained cessation of the relationship is only temporary. We will look to reinstate it at some point in order to extract hoover fuel from you, but you do not know this. All you know is that we were once there and no we are no longer and it hurts. Your soul has been wrenched from within you. It does not matter how badly we hurt you, you still wanted that golden period and our sudden departure has denied that from ever happening again, or at least that is what you are led to believe. Your pain is absolute, combined with the confusion and bewilderment.
Another way in which we cast you to one side is akin to being repeatedly dunked in a barrel of icy water. Each time your dunking lasts a little longer and you fear you cannot hold your breath any longer and this time this is it, you are on your way out, only for us to haul you out and that sweet and precious air fills your lungs, if only for an instance before you are thrust back into the water. During that interlude, as the water cleared from your eyes and you gulped great lungfuls of air you saw someone else stood by our side, watching you with a look of curiosity on their face. This is your replacement but we have not yet decided that they are to replace you as we are giving you the chance to prove yourself and provide some further fuel before we push you away and leave you spluttering and gasping on the ground beside the barrel. We never finish you off. That would be pointless. We always need to come back, not that you will realise that as you lie panting and shaking on the ground, cold and soaked, watching as we stroll away, our arm around the new prospect. This steady and controlled discard takes place as we lose interest in you but we have no desire to make our departure sudden and swift. We want to hedge our bets as we firm up our arrangements with your replacement, fine-tuning that seduction as we continue to extract fuel from you through this dunking. We push and pull, toying with your emotions. This is not part of the devaluation even though we exhibit a similar behaviour during that time when we denigrate you and then grant respite. No, this is different. When this is undertaken in an accelerated fashion then you know that it is a form of discard. We may give you a week of hell and then several weeks of the golden period before hell again. That is the push and pull of devaluation. When this technique is applied as discard it is disorientating as one day is fine and the next is not and then fine again. You feel like you are being figuratively bludgeoned and as you try and get your bearings you stagger across the boxing ring away from us only to meet another opponent who continues the beating and then sends you on your way to the next one.
These are just two forms of the way we will discard you. Why do we do it? As ever it is all about fuel. With the first it is because we have new and brilliant fuel and no longer wish to be reminded about your faltering and weak fuel. In the second we have not yet confirmed that the new source is as potent as we require and in the meanwhile we decide to continue to extract further fuel from you as your severance from us takes place in typical salami-slicing fashion. In every entanglement with our kind you will eventually be discarded. You won’t see it coming but it is always in the post, coming along the highway, wending its way towards you.
Don’t be too concerned though. No discard is for ever. We always come back for more.
24 thoughts on “Jettison”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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No I do not mind so long as credit is given. Thank you for asking.
This was the first post I read that finally helped me understand what the hell happened. Once I read it, I knew I was on my way to recovery. I knew I had finally been shone the light.
HG, I have a question. You said the sudden discard is “because we have new and brilliant fuel”. If I was the Greater’s DLSSS, would he have found another DLS for that new and brilliant fuel, or would he have just decided that his wife solely had the brilliant fuel he needed, once again. I struggle with knowing whether he decided his wife’s fuel was all he needed, or if he indeed would’ve had to find another SS.
More likely he returned to his wife.
That’s what my thoughts have leaned towards. So, in that case, would he be satisfied with just her fuel; and would he be likely to give her the golden period for a longer length of time again? Or, would he become bored with her again, after a while, and being seeking more of the negative fuel from her?
I should add that the reason I’d like to know more about his satisfaction, or dissatisfaction, with his wife and the type of fuel he would be seeking from her now is because I need to know how much it will effect any future hoovers he will place upon me. It’s been nearly a year now since being discarded and I’d like to know, at what point, he might become bored with her again, and possibly try hoovering me. I know it’s different for everyone, but for a Higher Mid-ranger or Greater, what can I expect if he hasn’t obtained a new DLSSS?
My being discarded is complete now though. I am glad its finally over. Under all that noise, bravado, abuse, superiority, arrogance he is not a strong person. He has his patterns down, the lures he uses to trap yet someone else, but once he gets people that close to him, he loses them all. I guess it works for him.
No such thing as it being finally over.
2 years ago we were in a cycle where he would come back. But this time, it is truly over. I took his discard to heart and removed myself from anymore access. He only has email to reach me and he won’t. I am a virtual primary and a secret who was not accepting of being his secret. I made sure the circle who knew of us grew. And that resultef in massive rage and fury. So rather than backing down, I accepted his hatred and rage and bid him farewell. He will be unable to take himself out of his stance. He would never, ever concede that power of his rage. I gave him lots of chances to shift himself and he did not take them. He remained in his rage, hate, fury position. And I refuse to go back anymore. So, it is complete.
You know what? Hoovers only truly work if your kind sense we want you back. I don’t want him anymore. I am finally true to myself. He hurt me too much. Much too much. Let him continue in his own path to other victims. He didn’t want me, I don’t finally want him anymore. I will always feel sad about it, but I am erasing him for good as he requested many times. His wishes are coming true. Some narcs need to be more careful for what they ask for. You may be able to keep people dancing, others are not so brilliant in their manipulations and deceipt. His wish to be left alone in his misery is granted.
Not so. A malign hoover will work when you do not want us back, you will still react and provide us with negative fuel. I agree that if you remain susceptible to wanting us back, then a benign hoover is naturally going to meet with more success, but even though you may not want us back (logical thinking) your emotional infection causes your emotional thinking to rise and swamp the logic and thus you become drawn back again. Not everybody is affected this way, but a lot are. This is why so many victims state “I knew I shouldn’t go back, but I just could not help it.”
He tried a weak benign hoover then went right back to the malignant. And now neither will work with me. I finally graduated from Narc University. I was a senior and was having trouble with my thesis. You helped me with my final research and I am now the proud owner of my hard won degree, paid for with my blood, sweat and tears. And I have my freedom now.
HG I know you guard your phones & electronic devices religiously. But do you ever ‘accidently on purpose’ allow one source to see an email or text message from another source in order to triangulate/devalue? I realize now that’s most likely what happened in my case. He allowed his Primary Source to ‘somehow see an email’ in order to start the devaluing or discarding of her.
Indeed I do Wompus, this has been mentioned in an article previously.
Always?
Do you ever get the silent treatment yourself, Sir Tudor? Ever from someone important to you? Narcs/psychopaths are like dealing with a ghost. I still haven’t been hoovered – 1.5-2 years. Besides at 1st the intense longing for him and terrible, it’s also having a Ghost to be dealing with. We want to know, get answers, talk. … but nothing. But while narcs/psychopaths may seem to get away with the destruction they’ve done, they don’t. It doesn’t pay for them: may seem like it now, but it doesn’t.
Yes there have been occasions where IPPSs have tried to ignore me. I hate it. It does not last.
How disturbing this disorder is ? and the mayham , hurt and emotional damage it leaves honest trusting people , whats so distroying is someone’s trust and faith in a another human can give such satisfaction pleasure when your kind devalue and discard . what’s worse is knowing it’s planned all worked through makes it unforgivable I support my ex from a distance , it works as I see a child in a mans body and the behaviours ignored , too as he gets no reactions ignore deviant behaviour and reward good behaviour.. !
HG, by “everybody” in the first sentence, do you mean IPPS only? Surely, other appliances can avoid discard.
No such thing as a discard.
All appliances run the risk of dis-engagement.
The IPPS is cast to one side (the traditional ‘discard’)
The IPSS’s dis-engagement is either to be placed on the shelf or devalued and the formal relationship ends (the latter being the traditional ‘discard’)
Makes sense! Thank you very much for clarifying, HG!
You are welcome.
This article makes total sense HG. Perhaps they get to a point where they envy the empaths traits so badly that they become overwhelmed with jealousy and hatred towards them. This realization turns the tide and the devalue then abandonment ensues. Only to think sometime later that the traits were useful so let’s go back and use them again. It is a safety net as well. You can win them back proving you are powerful, get the traits and attention to power yourself and seduce another because the confident facade has been built up. The fear of death and abandonment from childhood are two highly motivating factors in developing defense mechanisms.
Not if we are awake to you and your personality disorder. You are our big wake up to life and that there really are human predators mixing amongst the sane.