The Narcissistic Truths – No. 208
27 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 208”
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I saw the spotlights coming from Narcatraz. I tried to ignore them and failed. It was only a matter of time before I escaped. It is an enchanting picture, HG.
All, yes. Naively Disney like, believing in happy endings, the inherent good in all, etc. Remeber, this is not bad, just not without its flaws. It is an imbalanced view which leads us to our wounds, because we never held up our shields (healthy boundaries) to your weapons of war.
Just like a moth to the flame. I can recognize a Narc almost immediately now, but I fear the attraction will never die. I still find myself drawn in. I know better, so why do I keep doing this to myself? A form of addiction? Or a chronic product of extremely dysfunctional parental conditioning? Both?
(I’m an HSP/empath/classic “submissive” raised by both an explosive borderline father and a sadistic psychopathic mother). Surviving those two was a small miracle.
Could this be so deeply engrained there is no “complete” recovery? Is it possible rewire our biology and change who we are attracted to?
Your susceptibility to our kind is such that even though your logical thinking tells you what you are dealing with and that it is a “bad” thing, your emotional response to the engagement of our kind causes your emotional thinking to swamp your logical thinking and that is why you become entangled again.
Some of our victims can, once armed, engage with us in the future and not suffer in the same way again. Others cannot, such engagement is too risky and therefore evasion is the only answer.
This is true. Even Satan can appear as light or an angel, the Bible says, but inwardly he is as a ravenous wolf. I could swear there is a halo around my guy but I’ve seen the light shut off instantly when he didn’t like something.
Today while looking at photos, I saw how he is mimicking every expression I make.
powerful.
It stems from the belief that love can conquer all. I still hold that to be true… and no one will succeed in shattering this faith!
But where there never was love -as narcs cannot feel love- there will be no healing. With the right one, there will be peace and joy. 🙂
I saw the light and stayed there, fascinated, like a deer. Didn’t realize he was going to drive me over with his big truck.
I absolutely thought what I had seen in the beginning was a beautiful light of love, but clearly I ignored every red flag that tried warning against walking into the fiery pits of hell. That’s all that light ever was. Since being discarded, and finding this site, I now see the true light of love within myself.
Thanks to you HG, a lot of us are changing our lives for the better. Thanks to you we see what’s behind the light.
It’s very important to know the entire truth to leave the guilt behind.
When you finally understand that the situation is hopeless and irreparable, it frees us. Simply knowing about the disorder doesn’t change much, sometimes for a super empath it is a reason to try to help even more. I’ve committed too many years on two narcissists, five each.
Why we do this despite the abuse. Most empaths also need a fuel, but of a different kind. We also need other people, especially a significant other, an equivalent to your primary source, in order to feel alive.
When we don’t have someone to take care of, we feel unmotivated, and unhappy. And when we meet you, we sense something is very wrong and you need our help, which we’re more than happy to provide.
But now I’m free. I know my support, and being there for him was all for nothing, wasted time and energy. There’s no reason to hang on.
Thank you. 🙂
That’s true! We think that our lover is true and precious gold, that brings of his/her light. The truth are different: He/She use a game of mirror and artificial light to create this brings effect, as if he /she had the light within himself/herself. For a faithfull mind it is easy belives that the light is really inside of him/her…maybe the prey saw something strange, something not clean and clear…but keeps thinking that if he/she lover shows that wonderful light then belongs really to him/his.
Ultimately it is an illusion created by the narcissist who prey wanted to believe.
Noah, the last time I visited my ex-narc, I felt like I was vanishing outwardly, becoming see-through. At the same time though, I felt my soul … rejoycing, living, sparkling. Maybe it’s just the double effect of him mirroring and at the same devaluating. But as I could sense so much more about him, I like to think that there was really something to it. Sure, the light he projected in the beginning was artificial.
I was also able through HG to recognize which parts of my ex-narc really belonged to his very own core personality – there was something there, too. It’s not all an illusion, and in the beginning, the narc really believes in the whole golden stuff, too (because of dopamine, as I have learned recently). There were very few, very short moments where my ex-narc and I really connected, when he shared openly with me that he has not trust in anything or anyone, and other shortcomings, and he did really get me in a way, noone else does.
–> I do believe that there is a soul / al light in everyone, even in a malign narcissist. He just doesn’t see it himself, there is too much dark matter around it. 😉 Everything else is “environment”, including the mind which plays the games. I don’t know if this is any consolation to you: Yes, it was all mirrors and effects when he lured you, but you might also have perceived something real. They just can’t help themselves and not every narc is also a fucking psychopath.
I do too believe that there is like two beings inside, one human and the other is a creature, an animal, a predator, that in some way preys on the human part. What we see as a mask covering the predator is not really a mask, it’s simply the human face peeking through, hiding the creature so we can’t see it.
What they are afraid of the most is for us to catch the glimpse of the creature. To keep the human face is of utmost importance to them. They are paranoid it’s seeping through. They try so much to cover it, by copying our human behaviors that they appear overly empathic, which draws us to them.
It’s a human/animal hybrid, that creates a species of its own.
We all mirror, I think it’s the way we either react or respond to what we see being reflected back.
They want what they never had, yet in turn it reminds them of why. To which they keep repeating the action due to familiarity and understanding what outcome will come from said actions. Trust needs to be accepted and given before any change will happen, and fear of this keeps this from happening.
To see what one holds, yet keeps it cage. To be free of the bondage that was placed so long ago.
It kills me knowing how tight that fist is holding, when all you have to do is open your hand. Such is the workings of fear.
Dear HP,
I would love to know more about how your mother abused her power over you, as I find it difficult to say how my mother did it. It was more a matter of short answers, rejection and undertones. I just constantly felt flawed, broken and the pressure to duck down.
I don’t want to be a narcissist or a duck either so I would love to hear people’s experiences to see more clearly how shit happens.
Thanks for your blog!
Cat
You are welcome Cat, you will be able to read more about this in due course.
No, you’re the moth to our flame. You see our light and bring your mirrors.
Good analogy!
Both HG and Clarence are correct. Our light and your mirrors, but we see the reflection and ignore everything else.
We ignore because ignorance is bliss. It feels natural, comforting and familiar to express our loving nature, especially when it’s being reflected back as genuine.
I don’t mean to sound argumentative. Some days I just don’t know which is better. I could probably pick apart the nicest person in the world now to find a reason to be wary and not trust them.
Either way, it becomes an isolating existence.
Narcissism is a demon that rules over the carrier and
makes him/her think, feel and act in a certain distorted and repetitive way.
It splits off parts of the carrier’s soul, splitting it into light and dark, draining it from the healthy stuff in the middle that holds all parts together and makes us “human”.
The demon is arising from abuse of power! It behaves like a parasite that needs a lot of food from the other and wants to be transmitted, most destructively when a parent abuses power over a child. The colours of love are not easy to feel again when taken at a young age.
Love, Cat
I feel like narcs “just” know how to produce pure love.. their personality/history is meanwhile ho(o;)vering in the background
This is absolutely true. I always see the essence and potential within. Not what is there outwardly at the moment but what could be.
We are the light. 🙂 …soldiers of the third eye.
-“Amber”
On Mar 3, 2017 9:42 PM, “Knowing the Narcissist” wrote:
> HG Tudor posted: “” >
Reminds me of the movie a bugs life….’stay away from the light’! “I can’t help it, it’s sooo beautiful”!! It’s true. The Narcs I know Sure Shine Bright. Some in an Attractive way and others in an Arrogant Obnoxious way. I remember my Father meeting rich narc…I asked what he thought of him as I was very enamoured. Dad says uh, guys a taker. I said, what? He’s rich how’s that possible? Dad says, no. He’s going drain you. He’s gonna take everything you got and leave you. I said No he’s not he is really well mannered, everybody loves him..etc etc…Dad says, nope get out now. I say you met him for like 5 minutes, you dont know what your talking about. Dad shakes his head and says okay *smirk* I should have listened to Narc Daddy. He didn’t say I told you so, but of course Mom, who pushed like crazy for me to marry him despite the fact he wanted to cheat and I couldn’t, did. Then she turned around and said I knew he was no good. Then later, you should have stayed with him. She’s famous for bringing up the ex’s after they are gone. Encouraging me to contact them or saying I failed because I didn’t marry them or saying they were rotten and thank God I listened to her.
HG, how’s Matrinarc view your ex girlfriends and wife? Does she hate them when your with them and love them when you break up or some other dynamic?
Yup!