Horns and Halos
Further revelations on a wide range of highly relevant topics allowing you to understand the narcissistic sociopath and how to deal with him or her. Includes the revealing chapters “Ten” and “Twelve” detailing formative episodes in the creation of a narcissistic sociopath.
UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/Horns-Halos-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01K5R42II
US https://www.amazon.com/Horns-Halos-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01K5R42II
CAN https://www.amazon.ca/Horns-Halos-H-G-Tudor-ebook/dp/B01K5R42II
38 thoughts on “Horns and Halos”
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This was an interesting article, HG do you or have you ever had a ” moment of clarity”?
and yes, I just ordered your book 🙂
“Table 19” movie has included many of the elements discussed here.
Can you then follow that up with
Fawned over and F**ked up.
Covers both sides.
You’re welcome.
Hahaha!! Or “Brutalized into a Badasses: Survivors Tales from Tudor Tower”.
Plus, I’m tired of my kind being put on a pedestal. We are no more pure saints than you are pure Demon.
I’m a saint!! (just kidding)
Indy
So true. The pedestal.
Demon? Really Indy?
Hi Ah Oh,
I am not sure I understand your question of my comment.
This is how I meant my comment to HG: Writing a book titled “Halos and Horns” is very much in line with black and white limited view of the world, where we are all either saints or whores, not a blending of the two (which is definitely possible and closer to reality). So, I said to him, we (non-narcissists) are not saints and he is not a demon. We are all blends. some are more “angelic” types, some are more “demonic” types of people, but never purely. Does that help?
I was only referring to the DEMON. I thought you labeled him this. But thanks for the explanation.
Which one are you? I am a saintly whore. 😉
“A Lady in the Street”….and a freak elsewhere 😉
Spunky
Did you read that as Horny and Halos?
What constitutes a freak? You see I have been called this before and I think I am the most “normal” person I know.
I appear conservative to most but there are some that see behind the veil and tell me so.
Hahahahah Ah OH. Well, I am that woman that appears very innocent and sweet and soft. This is my image and always first impression I give. It is a secret weapon of mine that I have used for years to get away with things like skipping school, hanging with the “bad boys”, etc. Now, freak…hahahha…I am not sure I wish to give it all away, though I will say that I am far from conservative between the sheets, being a pan sexual that explores. I am pretty open minded in philosophy of the world and religion or lack of, science, and I tangle with ideas that are not traditional. And, I am truly a spicy jalapeño hidden in an innocent looking M&M shell. 😉 BTW, I do not believe there is such a thing as “normal”. Hehe
I like the title “Whorish Saint” too 🙂
Indiglowsky
Do you know what I have found to be true in my life experiences? You are only as good as the partner you are with.
How many partners that at the time, you thought was off the charts because you had the chemistry or you liked them? Then when it is over and there are no more feelings, you look back and think, holy hell, it was not so special after all.
I can only be as wild, as uninhibited, as sexual as my partner allows and only if the partner brings it out.
I have never claimed to be the best to another between the sheets, it would be up to them.
I can say I have experienced enough to know what I like and what I do not like.
This is all I have to say about sex.
I am told I have sex appeal . This is not something you do on purpose. It just is. Either you have it or not.
Ahoh
I like the Saintly Whore, but I dont think youre supposed to show off your sex toys in your pic lol.
Serious though- what the hell is that?
A rattle.
Ahoh
Are you a new grandmother?
Ahhh hell no.
I was accused of throwing fits by a friend so it just felt right to change my picture so I can remind myself to not be so childish.
Nothing more than something that only means something to me and not on the Blog. It is fun to change the pictures.
But I will tell you, I do have hissy fits. I contain them to be more internal these days.
The little girl never goes away. She just sits and waits.
A rattle that is about to soar through the air and connect with someone’s head! It is just one of those moments.
The sex toy comment could only come from my dearest NA. I do enjoy your humor.
Ahoh
Well it looked like some sort of primitive speculum or stretcher. I suppose its good I dont get invited to many baby showers. You were having hissy fits? All that wasted fuel would have our host reduced to tears. You know-if that were possible lol.
Oh he would be repelled by my fuel. It is too sweet. Very hard to obtain so it becomes hard work for very little. A Brazil nut comes to mind.
But if he wants to try, I’m willing. You know being the saintly whore that I am. I will even bring the listerine.
I don’t see the non narcs put on a pedestal… quite the contrary. They are mostly described as weak people who fall easily for the con, who decide to believe the façade in order not to open their eyes and realise they can’t be that special to have someone kissing the land they walk on just after a couple of dates… The one that treats us the best is actually HG by underlining we are not that stupid, we fall despite all the red flags because he’s fabulous at deceiving us;)
At the end in the same way you find stupid narcs you find stupid victims, but it doesn’t look politically correct to call a poor victim idiot jajajajaja therefore they are described like poor damisels in distress that believe Prince Charming exists and is there to rescue them because they are so worth it.
In my opinion we fall for the bullshit because deep down we all think we are so special and deserve it, so maybe we need a bit of introspection to prevent falling for it again.
Hi ME,
Narcissists and other personality types, including those with BPD often put their love interest on a pedestal….wayyyy to high than reality. This is one of the early red flags HG teaches us. I was put there by my ex who was a narcissist. “You are perfect”, “Amazing”, “soul mate, always meant to be”…This is during the seduction “Love bombing” phase. During devaluation, non-narcs are pushed off that pedestal into worthlessness land. Can’t do anything right land. Then there is sudden discard and then you are in Hooverville.
It is all about the extremes, goes along with the black/white thinking they do a lot. Black and white thinking creates emotional dysregulation because in the black and white world, things are either perfect or horrible (no gray). HG, correct me if I am mistaken, though I do know this is a fact, based on my professional as well as personal experience with those on the Cluster B spectrum.
Now, I will agree with you, HG is being very kind to share the tools and techniques of his kind with us to help us see it. Indeed, it is up to us to look at ourselves and why we draw this into our lives and how to strengthen ourselves. At the same time, the narcissist is a true abuser and is also culpable for their behaviors as well. I would not call a “victim” or a narcissist “stupid”. This dynamic is not about intelligence, it is about emotional boundaries and self development.
Hi Indi,
I don’t mean victims are stupid in general. What I meant is that the same way you have lesser narcs that aren’t so bright, you find different intelligence in the victims category too. At the end label them victims or narcs we are all people with different aptitudes, and intelligence is just another one, and not everyone is gifted with the same virtues.
I know well about the love bombing fase, I had four years of that and no proper devaluation. Not a day my psycho wouldn’t tell me I was beautiful, the best thing ever happened to him, we were meant to be, etc and all you list. I believed him, and now, since I know what it was, instead of blaming him I blame myself, cause if the prey doesn’t cooperate none of this happens. What I mean is we need to see what we did wrong. We already know they don’t behave “normally ” but we allow it, so, since we can’t change them, we should try to change ourselves. Otherwise the cycle will just repeat, different narc, same empath.
Hi ME,
Yes, love bombing is essentially putting someone on a pedestal. They almost always do this, some more intensely than others. And, if you are a primary source and you do not escape, they always eventually devalue you. If you are a secondary or more distant relation, they do not necessarily devalue you. How long were you in a relationship with the narcissist that you said love bombed you but never devalued you? Were you in a romantic relationship/dating/married or is this family or friends? Depending on the type of relationship you have will depend on whether they devalue and discard you. Some of us escape first. I escaped but it was during devaluation period (about 1.5 years into our engagement). I went no contact and have not looked back (woo hoo!)
Some Narcissists are very confusing folks and not clearly spotted in the beginning. Mine was not an easy spot as he did not fit the official clinical description of a narcissist, at first. This is why HG’s work is sooooo helpful!! Very grateful for his guidance in helping me escape and leave and stay gone. And, he hasn’t tried to hoover me since December….yayyyyyyyy…he might have a new primary source…..yayyyyyyyyyy.
Now, do not blame yourself. This is very important in healing. Yes, we do have a role in the tango with a narcissist and it is us to use to escape(which is very hard in some cases as it sometimes involves stalking, money, kids, etc), however, narcissists are engaging in mental/psychological war fare with the world. Yes, we have a responsibility to ourselves to leave and do not go back. However, we also did not ask for this. Do not blame the victim/or yourself. We are survivors of abuse, we are strong, and need our tools to survive. We were not born with the tools to survive this and thus, never expected this. Now we know and can get out, hopefully, before it is too late. I am glad I am out.
With that said, never underestimate a sociopathic narcissist. Never. And, sadly, never say never. It is possible to be hooked again.
Indy
Thank you, Indy, I appreciate your nice words. After being a primary source for more than four years,I escaped the minute I realised that wasn’t love. Implemented grey rock till the divorce and no contact since then. Wasn’t till after a couple of months of getting him away that I got to know he was a diagnosed psychopath, have been studying this disorder since then, more than two years have passed. So yes, it took me a while to realise, probably because he didn’t devalue me as what I read others explain, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t allow this to happen so I call mea culpa and try to change whatever is wrong in me since I should have never let this happen. I understand it’s not the victims fault and I’m glad HG pampers us in saying it’s almost impossible to perceive the deception till it’s too late, but I need to feel I should control this too, it’s the only way we can prevent it from happening again. So, in my opinion, we should start expecting a bit more from ourselves.
ME
You sound strengthened from what youve experienced and strength is always a good position to start from.
I want you to write a book about being flawed and fabulous, impeccably imperfect, a little bit a horn in a little bit a halo in one person. Just saying. This black and white thinking is getting old. Time to embrace the gray that I know you have in you.
Good title there Indy.
Which one? I know you can do it!!!! If anyone is perfectly imperfect, I’d figure it would be you 😉
Flawed and Fabulous.
Merci beaucoup, monsier. Maintenent, ou es mi l’article de micro expression?????
C’est dans le pipeline.
🙂
I have it!!!!!
I would expect nothing less Nikita!