Shoot You Down
A plaintive wail which I often hear is along the lines of,
“Why do you always have to shoot me down? I give you everything you could ever want. Why can’t you just be happy with that?”
As usual you delude yourself with such a statement. You do not give me everything I could ever want. You think that you do, but that is the self-centredness that you often exhibit creeping in once again. You certainly care, I will grant you that, but you make the mistake of assuming what you do is what we want. What we want is fuel. I know what comes next.
“I always told you how much I loved you, I admired and complimented you often and frequently. How much more could I make you feel good about yourself?”
Therein lies the problem. No matter how good your intentions and how frequent your worship of me, my kind and me will always grow tired of it. We have heard your kind words and seen your appreciative gestures too many times and it, well, it just does not do it for us anymore. I am sure that you emotionally in touch people would be the first to complain if a long established partner engages in the same routine in the bedroom. It does not hit the spot anymore does it? Well, it is just the same for us. You may ultimately accept that things cool somewhat in the bedroom and I know from what I have seen and heard that you trade this passion off (although not always, there are some sexual thrill seekers amongst your kind) for other qualities that you find attractive – humour, companionship, security, warmth, good parental skills, intelligence and such like. There is no hope for any such trade with us. We only want one thing from our relationship. Fuel. We do not care (ultimately) how good-looking you are, how much of a whore you are between the sheets, how wonderful a mother you may be, what a raconteur you are or how much you earn. We will never accept those things or anything else as a substitute for fuel. True enough, the more aged of our kind sometimes accept these things when their need for fuel diminishes but that need never goes away. They may decide to accept these attributes alongside largely positive fuel, but they will still need to stir things up from time to time.
That is not going to happen with me. I am at the peak of my powers and therefore my need for fuel remains substantial. There can be no substitute for it at all and nor can there be any co-existence between the provision of fuel and other attributes. It is fuel or nothing. In order to achieve this I have to shoot you down because once that is done you start to flow with the potent negative fuel and my cravings start to be addressed. You can beg and plead with me, you can point out how you will always only ever have eyes for me, you can express your love, desire, adoration and admiration on an hourly basis but there comes a point when it just does not have that sweetness anymore. It is then that I pull the handgun from my jacket, attach the silencer and fire several vitriolic bullets into you. Your pain from these wounding bullets gives me the fuel that I need and therefore your shooting is necessary. Moreover, it is your punishment for letting me down. You really ought to be capable of pleasing me the whole time but so far, all that I have chosen have failed. That is why I now expect you to fail and have that gun to hand at all times.
When I shoot you down, I become more powerful as the fuel flows from you. Moreover, it is easy to get someone to admire and adore. Those reactions come naturally to your kind. It is far harder to extract tears, anger, frustration and regret from the empath. Managing to do so imbues your emotional reaction with greater potency, your fuel becomes supercharged and this is what we want. We cannot shoot you down from the beginning, we need you stood on a pedestal first, after all, you present as such an inviting target then and your toppling as the bullets slam into you becomes all the more satisfying.
I sense your dismay as you read this. You had hoped that by keeping me sweet and onside through a dazzling and tireless display of love, affection and admiration you had hoped to avoid such an attack. Your concerns should not be absolute. There is an upside you know. Firstly, when we find someone else after we have shot you down, keep in mind they will eventually be riddled with bullet holes no matter how happy we both appear at first. It is coming to them as it came to you. I am sure that makes you feel a little better doesn’t it? Secondly, there is a huge saving grace.
We never shoot you dead.
We need you alive so we can raise you up again as we re-load.
41 thoughts on “Shoot You Down”
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Another great Article HG. I love and hate you.Still.
So long as you do not ignore me, we’re good.
Why??
Why would you love him? Why would you hate him?
LOL Caroline-feels-fine. I wonder too why some people on here have such strong feelings. I appreciate you HG. But love or hate? Nah. To me you are just the person who pushes the comments through 🙂 (kidding!). Also, everyone is convinced you are an Adonis. Must be the accent. But you could be a porky little half-blind extremely hairy bloke typing away in a dank basement for all any of us knows…
You should “nothing” him 😉😋
For me I “love” 🙄 HG because for 15 years have been thinking…Why? Why? Why? This behaviour! Now we know SO much more 😈 he’s creative also 😊
PS: How come you never mention anything supernatural? My narcissist reeled me in with hypnotic trance & telepathy- I was so impressed at his ability- when I mentioned the strange phenomenon to him, he didn’t comment- he didn’t deny either. The thing is although it was limited to I’m going to f you (most often for example), we could have an exchange. I could tell he was doing it with someone else later on. The first trance got eerie and evil & as soon as I thought, ‘this is scaring me’, it stopped. There are so many things he’s done supernaturally, and also on my cell phone, even office surveillance cameras- all hard to believe or prove – but very true. Googling -says that sort of stuff comes naturally to them, but you’ve never mentioned it.
H.G. I love you. Please be a writer, you are so good at it. It’s not even fiction for you, so easy for you, and we would enjoy it so much. Great fuel. You would make a fortune. That way we can adore you without the emotional turbulence or pain & you can enjoy steady flow. Would you feel the need to hurt your fans too? Really, get a leash on your demons, because you should get a Nobel Peace Prize for the good you’ve done the world with your narc confessions.
I already write Kelly, but thank you for your most kind comments.
Do you think she means fiction, HG? My vote is for erotica, but your fairy tales are really quite entertaining. Combine the two for bedtime stories. 🔥
Perhaps. Both the types you have mentioned are in progress.
HG
I am positively giddy (well……as I can be) at the prospect of new Narc Tales and Erotica. Its been a lot of hard work and learning – we could all use a little spice when you get the time. Thank you though for all that you already do with the limited time you have.
NarcAngel
I’d be interested in reading the erotica. After hearing him talk about being a “sexual Olympian” I’m real curious as to what that actually means. That’s an entire area of my education that has been totally neglected. I’m certain reading his books would be a real eye-opener!
Can’t wait HG. I love to read anything you write!
Thank you.
MB
Haha. Careful saying you like anything HG writes or he might just write you out a bill.
I don’t know NA, I think those three little words written in copperplate would be frame worthy… “Please effect payment”
MB
Look at you bucking for a position in merchandising! Very clever (and funny).
Ha! Just one of my many mad skills NA!
I don’t know how you will get it all done.
Do you ever get sick of thinking and talking about narcissism, HG?
I do plenty of other things you know.
Really?
I do mean fiction. What name do you write under, and are there any books published yet?
H G Tudor, obviously. In terms of fiction, no, but I intend to.
I’m so glad to hear it. You’re very talented, and I’ll love reading whatever you write.
Thank you.
MB,
“Combine the two for bedtime stories. 🔥”
Fairy tales + erotica + HG = Yikes.
Now we’re talkin’…
Yassss WC! It’s the stuff of fantasy. Especially on audio book! Talk about mass seduction. HG got skills!
Hehe, MB…yeah, I’d buy that book in a heartbeat…and I’ve not even ‘Sex and the Narcissist’ yet…
I’ve not even *read ‘Sex and the Narcissist’…sheesh. There I go typing too fast before I’ve even had my second coffee.
Or perhaps it was just the excitement factor.
WhoCares
While waiting on the new stuff, Sex and the Narcissist is a must read. In fact I’m going to read it again.
Thank-youNarcAngel – oh, yes, I know that one is required reading. And I think I get the gist of the ‘revelations’ awaiting therein (knowing what HG has shared about the narcissist’s approach to sex, add to that the “truths” found in Sitting Target) but I don’t want to be reminded of sex with MY narcissist (yep, it was good & yes, it was playing with fire – I don’t desire him anymore but I don’t even want to go anywhere near there)…at all…but give me some good fairy tale fantasies to replace those memories? Yes, please.
“There is an upside you know. Firstly, when we find someone else after we have shot you down, keep in mind they will eventually be riddled with bullet holes no matter how happy we both appear at first. It is coming to them as it came to you. I am sure that makes you feel a little better doesn’t it?”
No, it makes me feel terrible. Terrible that I am riddled with bullet holes, and terrible that at his desire, some other poor sod will be too. This bit will never make sense to me. My ‘head’, applying ‘your’ logic understands that ‘your’ perspective is different, and that it’s ‘all about you’ but I just cannot get my head around the need to destroy a person who loves you, to suck out their very essence, to kill their soul, in such calculating ways.
One of the many women I was triangulated with (and from early on too) was painted as obsessed with him, and he almost made me feel like I needed to protect him from this onslaught of ‘unwanted’ attention from this needy, clingy, desperate wretch. I wasn’t wary of her, but I did think it was true. She was around at many group gatherings among lots of other people he’s known for years.
Anyway, long story short, a couple of years ago, one of her teenage daughters was diagnosed with leukaemia. Clearly, a terrible time ensued and despite being a feisty little fighter, she ultimately lost her battle towards the end of last year. This coincided with a massive escalation in my devaluation and then discard. The utter confusion led me here (so glad I found some answers here!). I am plagued by the thought that he may be preying on her now…. it literally sickens me that she may be the next one to have to go through this with him.
I repeat, this bit will never make sense to me 🙁
Quite a jolt! Feel like I’ve just put a wet finger in an electrical socket.
Keeping this article handy to resist the next hoover.
Good weapon, HG.
The desire to victimize
HG! Your fuel matrix elements are : Potency,frequency and quantity. As I understand from this post: the negative fuel is ALWAYS more potent than the positive fuel independently of the quantity,quality and frequency of the latter? Is it the fact that it is more challenging and difficult to obtain ( from the empath)the only reason why it is more potent? Or is it the KNOWLEDGE of the narcissist that he/she is hurting the empath?
If I “reverse” your matrix and if the positive fuel would be more challenging and harder to obtain…would that make it more potent than the negative?
Yes the negative element goes to potency as opposed to frequency or quantity.
It is owing to the challenge and the fact that an empathic individual is less likely to want to appear angry, upset etc which makes obtaining it all the more satisfying and thus more potent. It is the knowledge of being to extract something from someone who does not want to have that extracted, thus equating to power, which adds to the potency.
I suppose the reversal would cause the potency to alter BUT the reality is nobody knows what they are dealing with invariably to know to do this and it would actually be hard to do. Being positive comes easier to empathic people than the negative emotions.
Thank you…I think you mean that the last scenario is very hypothetical.: entering a relationship with a narcissist knowing that he is one!! That is “never” going to happen…the narcissist is never going to say it or admit it..
I want to wreck everything. It makes me feel better to be in control of my demise. 🖤🔫 Someday I will appreciate normal, right? Why do I want the abuse? Familiarity. I’m never satisfied. 💜
Thanks, good article
Time for my daily ‘shudder’
Bitter sweet understanding.
Thank you.