The Cold Dead Stare
You should consider that you are rather fortunate to be given these glimpses into the workings of my mind through this book and the others that I have written. Ordinarily you are unable to peer into the dark mind of my kind and I. As an empathic individual you do cultivate an ability to understand the way that other people are thinking and how they are feeling. It provides you with a degree of intuition and this is applicable to many of the people that you meet. You apply this ability for the purposes of doing good things and I understand why you do that. Notwithstanding this ability however it does not work with us. You are unable to establish what is going through our minds or what we might be thinking, no matter how desperate you are to be able to do this. This is because we do not abide by the normal rules and conventions of everyone else. We do not travel on the well-worn path but instead we take those routes which are from the beaten path. These routes are tangled, unmapped and dangerous and they are so designed to prevent others from following us down them. We do not want you to know what we are thinking.
This is because we have no desire to convey you any advantage in seeking to escape our effects and make it harder for us to obtain fuel from you. We must cloak our minds and make them impervious to your attempts to read them. We must operate through secrecy and covert behaviours so that you never see us coming, so that you never know what will happen next and so that you have no opportunity to evade us. Not only do we shroud our minds in this manner through our rejection of logic and the adoption of behaviours which are outside those considered normal we also ensure you cannot read us through our eyes.
Many people look to the eyes as a device for gauging what someone might be thinking or perhaps more accurately feeling. If we are explaining something to somebody and we confusion in that person’s eyes we know we must adopt a clearer method in our explanation. If we are conveying some news and see a pained expression in those eyes we know (if it was you making the comment) to alter the manner in which it is expressed to make it less painful or to do or say something to offer support. Of course, when we see it, we merely increase the pain in order to extract a reaction from you.
This weakness of the eyes in allowing another person to gauge how someone is feeling and therefore ascertain what they are thinking is not something that we can countenance. This is vulnerability and we do not like vulnerabilities at all. We have enough to contend with without allowing you to see what they are. Accordingly, in order to ensure that our mind is impervious to your inspection we will either adopt a cold, dead look in our eyes which renders them impenetrable or we will simply reflect back at you what you are feeling and mislead you. When we adopt that cold stare, it may be designed to induce a sense of dread in you but it has a primary purpose. This purpose is to create a shield so that you are unable to ascertain what we are thinking and thus our plotting mind is secure from external influence and can proceed in its scheming. Should we reflect back to you what you are showing to us we are doing this to mislead you but also again to prevent you from having any chance of understanding what is going on in our dark minds. Our minds are the core of our operations. Our minds control everything in order to achieve our aim of securing fuel and as such, this most precious of devices must not be compromised in any way by people like you and your meddling.
We must ensure that our minds are ring-fenced, cut-off and protected from your attempts to read us. Should you be able to do that then you will be taking away one of our advantages. We know what you are thinking and we know what you are going to do next because you are an empath and you not only wear your heart on your sleeve but you wear your mind there as well. Your eyes allow us straight into what you are thinking and feeling. Your mind may as well be transparent or broadcast its thoughts onto a flat screen for all to see. You are easy to work out and study, hence why we choose you. A similar fate must not befall us and this is why we ensure at all times that our minds are impervious to your penetration.
40 thoughts on “The Cold Dead Stare”
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I am sorry, because my comment is out of topic at this moment. I just talked with a friend, who works in a kindergarten. There is a child, which was lately sexually abused by a family member. All institutions know about it, but they do not work efficiently together. Now the child probably has to go back to its family, because the judge thinks, it is better !!!
My friend can`t help, because she has no power to do so. She observes the child and watches helplessly how the child becomes more and more aggressive at one hand and on the other hand she saw a blank stare, which the child developed the last days. She said she has seen a lot of children, who came from highly destructive families, but they never developed that blank stare. The stare is not sad or depressive, it is the void in itself.
Me and my friend we have never talked about the stare or something like that before, therefore I could not have influenced her opinion.
I asked her about what she has seen and it was the cold, absent stare. The child is four years old !!!
If there will be no real help in the very next time, it is the birth of a young psychopath or narcissist.
She tries to protect the child as much as possible, it is not enough. It is so important that the child does not lose its ability to feel and to trust people, but it is five minutes past twelve to do so.
The child also goes back in its development, it loses the ability to speak well, it loses the ability to play.
I am very angry about the institutions at this moment.
The cold, absent stare – four years old!!!!
So, why do i see through your eyes what you are experiencing?
Whatever you want hg but i think you undervalue the power of an empath in reading you. They know, but they decide not to invade your sphere because of respect in human beings. That’s it
I love this article HG thank you so much for sharing🌺
I outed mine to many … but he doesn’t even know
Mwahahaha
Evil laugh lol
Hi, HG! I noticed that the n that I was ensnared with was looking in two different directions. What is this? I can’t do this. Is this a narcissist ability? A psychopath ability?
Being inherently contradictory is a manifestation of split thinking, entitlement and a lack of accountability which means it applies to both.
Ok. But how is it biologically possible to even look in two different directions at once, I mean I can’t do that so how can narcissists and psychopaths do that? Is it part of the predatory hunt and stare much like how a chameleon can look in two different directions at once? This is pretty fascinating!
I was writing figuratively, not literally.
Ok. But how is it biologically possible to even look in two different directions at once, I mean I can’t do that so how can narcissists and psychopaths do that? Is it part of the predatory hunt and stare much like how a chameleon can look in two different directions at once? This is pretty fascinating!
(You might have received this comment twice, I apologize. My internet connection is off, today).
I am writing figuratively not literally.
Mona it’s difficult to find the right words to describe that look – so good to hear your thoughts! Shiny yet hollow – absolutely. I also found it shows even more in photos. Looking back before I got rid of the pics it was so clear to see.
No, Sassifrass, I have to thank you. I never made that connection of thoughts before. There is no real mysterious in their eyes, It is an overfloating of some chemicals/ hormones inside of them. I don`t know which ones. Sometimes people with a thyroid dysfunction have shiny eyes too. Chemical / biological reaction, nothing else, caused by strong and overwhelming feelings.
For me “the look” from my narc as he discarded me was the most bone chilling, unsettling experience I ever encountered with another “person” (made me question if he is human). It was as if this person was actually some malevolant creature who was as cold and dead as his souless eyes. Unbelievably terrifying! After that thought I could be crazy but now so grateful for this narc information.
From now on I shall deliberately take note of the eyes I meet. Look at them. REALLY look at them. Ive said it before, the eyes are the windows FROM the soul. Not TO the soul.
Our souls shine outwardly for the world to see. Beauty and love.
Their soul shines outwardly also FROM their dark dark souls.
Whether through a flash or a stare, we can see it. We just need to look.
Thanks HG. 👁👁
Hg, freaking good article. Thank you.
Hi HG,
The way you describe the eyes of a narcissist is point on!
You are right, aside from work, we empaths do wear our feelings for all to read. I never realized what your kind has to go through to evade us from discovering “the secret world of schemes and machinations”. It use to bother me when he use to say, I know what you are going to do or I knew you would come here, etc. How are you able to hide what you are thinking or feeling? the only time I could see something in the eyes when it was fury.
Thank you Sir 🙂
HG, I disagree with your last paragraph. You say, we are easy to read, because we are empath and we wear our heart on our sleeve and our mind as well. No, it is because we trusted your kind and we let you in. I wear different masks in business life. They never know what I think/believe or feel, when I do not allow it. Someone said to me: “You are the most cheerful woman, I know. Always happy, always friendly.” I said: “Thank you.” and smiled. The point is, my father was fighting against death at the same moment at hospital . I did not want to see anybody else my pain. I did not want to hear any questions about my sadness. So, I decided to wear a mask, like you do.
You said: ” A similar fate must not befall us and so we ensure at all times…”
That is the main reason for your behaviour. Fear! You see enemies all around you and that is all you can see. It was someone in your past, who faked empathy and hurt you most. It was someone in your past, who betrayed your father, who was an empath. Your father lost a lot, because he trusted the false people. He was blind on one eye. He cannot be a role model for you, because he lost so much and he did not protect you enough or at all. Therefore he is a “bad” example for you to follow. Your mother achieved all she wanted and she still manipulates. So, all kind of people are enemies in your mind. And you must be the one who is dominant and controls all of them.
All of it together makes sense and it explains once more, why you are, what you are. It is only my interpretation and summary of all, what I could read over the whole blog, but it seems to be logical (for me.) And you gave only pieces/fragments of information about yourself and you cover them to lay some false trials. So, it could be possible that I failed once more. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. So, don`t be irritated, when I failed.
I could cuddle all of you or better give you a “Like.” But that is technical not possible for me. Sassifrass, I saw the same as you did. Yes, he looked pumped up in the seduction phase. A special glance in his eyes.
I have seen that shiny and hollow eyes before . It was a young girl diagnosed later as a highly bipolar person. I know that this disease is something totally different. But there must be some similar chemical reactions that cause this special look of their eyes. Perhaps a flow of dopamine or whatever. Even the shiny eyes- which are very attractive- are not normal. It is always a little bit too much.
Carla you are so right. I could tell when he was full of fuel by his eyes. Especially in the seduction phase – he looked pumped up, glowing almost. The same look during arguments. Dead during devaluation.
The topic of their eyes has come up before and I believe I commented on it. That stare still haunts me. I did not see it until the last time I was intimate with him. I stared right into him and saw nothing. Yet all that flashes back to me is the way his eyes looked before that. I am still haunted by it. I keep saying “he is not the (insert name here) that I knew”. But then again he never really was to begin with.
The same goes for vocal tone as well. Change in voice, pitch, etc. At least according to my experience anyway.
Yes that is so true, Carla. So many things I thought/saw that I never brought up. Even in the end, I never even outed him as a narcissist to him or any of his family or friends. for multiple reasons.
I hate to burst your bubble, but some of us see far more than we let on.
This is fascinating
Nothing fits together. Wow. Yes. And I thought it was a sign of a complex person, who if vulnerable and open, would be able to drop those artifices.
Because at times, when he was happy, he seemed purely happy. Truly he did.
But what sticks with me is the cold dead stare. When we made love, when the moment called for naked intimacy.
I knew it was a defense mechanism. But a defense for what? In those instances, I was holding him with all the love I had. I searched for his essence as an expression of my love.
In return, the deepest kind of rejection. A message: You do not matter. You do not exist.
Wow…. I hope you are receiving some kind of therapy HG, I hope you have someone you confide in… what a lonely existence narcs must have… so sad…
I forgot to say, he was smiling with the rest of his face at the same time. Nothing fits together. Nothing.
There was another strange event. We had an argument and he seemed to be very calm and friendly. His eyes were indifferent, not cold. I said to him: “You can`t fool me, you are at full rage. Do you think, I do not see the red stains on your breast and your pumping carotid ?” He was surprised, he felt caught. I talked to someone else about his reaction and the person said: “That is a full pathological behaviour.” That was the first time I realised he is not normal at all.
dayamn, that’s like something out of a movie
Maybe that was, because I said to him at the beginning of our relationship:” When I look straight in your eyes I know who you are.” (It was a joke) But maybe he believed it and avoided eye contact.
Sometimes when he tried to hide something, it was not the cold dead stare. He knew that I would look straight in his eyes and that I would be suspicious of him then. No, he played the shy guy, turned his back towards me and spoke in sweet, lovely words. In the beginning I misunderstood this kind of behaviour and thought he was really shy. In the end I knew he tried to hide the cold eyes, especially in front of other people. The cold eyes were to obvious. He had to keep the facade of the good guy.
I’ve seen it too, and their need to hide their eyes. But how do they know their eyes are dead and cold?
Thank so very much for this. I have beaten myself to death trying to figure out how I was not able to see into his heart when I possess the uncanny ability to do this with other people within seconds if meeting them. I have much to say on this topic when time allows.
So, when someone can still see right through that cold dead stare and figure out the truth, that must be truly terrifying. I am so sorry. I hope for all of “your kind” (weirdo – you belong to our human family, whether you behave or not) that you find people who are so kind, strong, safe, and good that you don’t have to hide anymore.
I’m sorry sweetie, but there is nothing human left in them. The cold, dead stare is exactly who they are. They don’t feel the way you feel, they are unable to love, unable to feel joy, unable to enjoy a full, wholehearted belly laugh. They will feed on your emotions, because they don’t have any.
That is why they abuse. Because if it’s not for the emotions, there’s nothing, only emptiness, only nothingness, only hate, only fury.
Please, for your own sake, stop believing that it’s a mask and that a scared little boy is hiding underneath. The little boy died a long time ago, and they killed him. There is nothing below that. Nothing but a cold dark loneliness, and any soul that goes there will certainly perish.
There is no one kind, strong, safe and good enough to save them, because there is nothing left to save.
HG is not hiding. He’s out in the open, and you better take this information in and apply it for your own good.
Don’t believe the illusion. This is the truth, and as for me, I will save my empathy for you.
Dorian
So well said!
Bravo!
Yes confirmed now that the female narc so called friend I was supposedly helping through a crisis was a narc. Those eyes, empty. She had nothing nice to say about anyone even her own family. Thank goodness I cut her out of my life for good in Nov last year following an almost 2 year intense friendship. I can see it all clearly now, all the lies. What an utter bitch. I hate her so much as she nearly took me to my grave and another. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, felt sorry for her, the police were involved and she milked it all. No wonder she is trying to get back in contact. Here is a big fat FUCK OFF!
Well , actually this had nothing to do with luck. I have spent so much time researching online and on YouTube before I finally found the best available source of information.
Is this why I have taught myself to not look at the narc during a contentious discussion? Am I subconciously protecting myself from “the look? She always tells me she hates it when I don’t look at her when we’re talking. Interestingly, I only do it with her. If I find myself doing it with anyone else, I feel I’m being rude.
Understandable.
“Don’t look them in the eye”
Though not analyzing new people we meet, can be a problem. Me only looking at people I talk to in flickering microseconds, smiling, trying to be as easygoing and empathic as possible,
has been a bad habit as I don’t get to reflect on whether this new person has a weird piercing stare or not.
Because I was too busy Auditioning for him/her.
Yes, I am so lucky to have found you Mr. Tudor!🙏🏻