Nothing’s Impossible
There are times when even my charm is in limited supply and is refusing to stretch. This often happens when I have subjected a victim to a fierce period of devaluation so that they have been pushed to their limits and they are at breaking point. Something stirs inside of them which causes them to decide that they need to escape me. They may not fully understand why but they know that they need to depart. It may be the case that an external influence is interfering in my carefully laid plans of denigration and this meddling threatens to puncture of even sever my supply of delicious negative fuel. It is at these moments when I am staring at the potential loss of a succulent supply of fuel that I make a particular play in order to prevent the cessation of supply. In such circumstances I will ensure that there is only you and I and that the potential for external interference is at a minimum. I need to ensure that I have your undivided attention and there will not be somebody else seeking to throw a spanner into the works. I want them excluded and banished so that I can concentrate entirely on you and make my last throw of the dice.
“I know that this time I will have to change,” I will begin as I fix you with my most earnest of looks. You stop what you are doing and look at me and already I can see the indecision in your eyes as I start with this sentence. It is always a good opening gambit. You and your like love to think that we can change, that there is some goodness deep within us that can be harnessed and used to get us back on track. You are great believers in redemption.
“I need a miracle to help me this time, “ I continue as I underline the gravity of the task that I am faced with. By according such gravitas to your stated intention to depart, I demonstrate just how seriously I am taking your threat. Inside I am exploding with rage at your audacity in daring to even to suggest that you will leave me. Me, of all people, me who has done so much for you. It is everything I can do to contain the fury but I know I must do so for an explosion now will be what finally pushes you away.
“How did we come to be this far apart?” I ask fixing you with a pleading look. By underlining that we were once so close, nay inseparable, I am appealing to your desire to bring us back to that closeness once again. This also allows you a chance to talk and talk is something you like to do. I let you trot out all the perceived injustices that you have supposedly suffered at my hands. I hear little of it because I know that you are mistaken and this is all based on your incorrect perceptions of me. This time I just have to let it wash over me in order to allow my influence to exert itself over you. I cannot stand to be criticised and inside I am dying but I am taking this blow for the greater good, the greater good of ensuring this precious fuel supply remains intact.
“Just tell me what you need me to do and I will do it,” I trot out next, conning you into thinking that you have some vestige of power and authority over me, when of course you have none. Again in order to serve my own purposes I am content to allow you to think that you can bring some influence to bear over me. Again this will give you a chance to detail all of the change and remedial behaviours you expect me to engage in. I will nod and make the appropriate noises as you ramble on about the changes you want me to effect. I pluck the lines which I have heard others use on so many occasions to enable me to continue my con. You are suckered by it on every occasion. I know it works and this is why I do it.
“I know we can get through this, nothing’s impossible,” I add as I take your hands and stare into your eyes. Invariably this line secures you giving me yet another chance and your relief eclipses my own as I know that I have you once again. Your joy at not parting provides me with even further fuel and I can allow you a brief golden period by way of reward. After all, you may as well enjoy it because it is not going to last for long is it?
15 thoughts on “Nothing’s Impossible”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Narc-saga update: today my N was sooo nice to me. Offered me a drink and some pizza. We won’t see each other for 6 weeks, that’s why he wanted to make sure I am left with good memories. Wonder how he will get high now 🙄
“I will nod and make the appropriate noises as you ramble on about the changes you want me to effect. I pluck the lines which I have heard others use on so many occasions to enable me to continue my con.”
so much time falling for it until I realized that was exactly what he was doing: telling me what I wanted to hear so I would stop calling him out on his BS…for a time… and then I called him out on that too. No wonder he isn’t interested in hoovering me anymore… plenty of eager fish in the sea that aren’t going to cause him narcissistic injuries. Although I guess that allowed him to play victim and get fuel from his mother…
oh well… not my circus anymore..
Nothing’s Impossible, except getting that toothpaste back in the tube. Kind of like words, they never go back in the mouth and mind.
HG,
Thanks for this article-it really helps to remember that I went through that horror and thanks to you I now understand what was really going on.
It helps heal the pain 🙂
You are welcome.
Exactly what I experienced. Ex were sitting in front of me after the break up, gave me presents and tried to hoover me back in. Even when I already knew he cheated and lied about so many details in his life, I had a little moment where I thought: “Maybe this time, maybe I’m different for him, he must really love me”. All lies and I said to him I need to go now, but we can talk later (just to escape, I could already see the rage in his eyes). I never talked to him again after that and he still try to reach me with fake accounts, new numbers and threats only to get an reaction. Meanwhile he has profiles on every dating/sex website, looking for new victims. He already destroyed many many people.
Thanks for this page, it helps a lot while healing.
You are welcome BlackRose.
wow! Black Rose
you had the mental strenght to escape him totally?
I admire you.
Angelic, thank you for your reply, I just saw it now. It was very very hard! I mean I knew so much and I even talked to other woman who were with him when we were in a “relationship”. But of course he denied everything and texted me long psychotic messsaged with threats, new illnesses every day, that I’m the love of his life and much more. NO CONTACT is the only way out.
H.G has a lot of good articles here (Sphere of influence!!).
Be safe and all the best to you.
For some reason this makes me think of that scene towards the end of Labyrinth, when Sarah is facing the Goblin king and running out of time to find her brother and escape. She says her piece that she’s rehearsed to herself so many times, but can’t remember that last damn line…
At least in the movie she finally does. Sounds like your fuel source wasn’t as lucky.
Cherrylin
I was lucky… 8 years of Paradise.
But the last 2 years of hell destroyed everything..
although he is back with grandious declarations of love..
but the magic has gone.
😢
Hi HG,
I’ve been put through the fierce devaluation and this is the text I received from the ex narc.. was this all a lie?
“I want to be a better man for you…. and I will be that man because I won’t let you down again
And after being with you these last few days I know I will never be without you.
I’m
And I also know that can’t happen if I’m not a “better man”
So if I have to do councilling for the rest of my life or if I have to prove myself to you everyday it is a small price to pay to be with you (My twin, my lover and my best friend)”
Please shed some light on this..
He is probably a Mid Range Narcissist. This is typical of the type of manipulative lie that they will utilise as part of a Preventative Hoover or a Follow Up Hoover for the purposes of looking to draw fuel from you, stop you leaving, maintaining the facade of being a decent person.
So familiar with this symphony
but it has little effect nowadays..
in a way i wish i was still in the slumber of dreamy Shangri- La
but i have been awaken into a nightmare so cruel and foggy..
I am on the run.. and chased by monstrous fictitious dreams..
nay… nay.. nay.. i know you now .. i know your tunes.. once so in harmony .. now so discordant…
goodbye my once enchanting amusing , delightful…mesmerising companions.
I will embrace you again in the Shangri-La of Eternity.
This must be what his wife has to hear. My interpretation anyway.