Love Letter
“Dear Victim,
I have not addressed you by name because your name does not matter to me. In fact, I am struggling to recall it as after all we have only been together for a week but notwithstanding this I wanted to write this letter for you because for once, perhaps the first and only time in my life I wanted to be honest with you and tell you the truth. Your name does not matter because I do not see you as a person. I see you as an appliance but I know you must be the best appliance. How do I know that? Simple. I chose you. You see, although I have given you the impression that I have met you by chance in a wine bar a week ago (is it only a week, it feels like we have known one another a lifetime) I picked you out. I look out for ladies like you. I know that there is a hospital nearby and many of the staff drink in that particular bar. I use it for many of my victims but I don’t want to talk about them because I only now want to focus on you. I saw you with your friends and saw how you made people laugh and how people often turned to you when you were speaking. I saw your membership card when you opened your purse at the bar so I knew from that you did indeed work at the hospital. In fact, I watched you three times before I came over to speak to you. That was to make sure you were my kind of victim and guess what? Good news. You tick so many boxes and that is very exciting. I am not interested in you as a person. I only want to know what you can do for me. I am of course going to pretend I am interested in you and I spent some time finding your social media footprint and having a good look through. Have you had any friend requests lately from someone you were not sure you knew? You have because that was me. Thanks for letting me in and allowing me to look around your page. Great photographs and you gave me so much material to work with. You have been a busy bee telling the world about all the places you go to. I didn’t like that man who kept appearing in your pictures though. I will be trying to find out who he is. Hopefully it is your brother or a cousin otherwise I will need to have him isolated. He seems far too friendly and may get in the way of what I want to do. So, I knew you long before you knew me, but you soon felt like you knew me. That’s what I do. I trot out so many marvellous and flattering lines They are just devices to make you think that we have some special connection. I know you are into all of that. I heard one of your conversations with your friends as I stood nearby as you explained all about the need for connections with those you fall in love with, your belief in astrology oh and spiritualism. I have already organised two tickets for the clairvoyant who is in town in three weeks. I will tell you about that later, although maybe you already know this given your “special powers”? I will tell you this, they are not as special as mine because I already know lots about you. You think you know plenty about me but over half of what I told you was made-up and the balance was embellished and exaggerated. I am great but not as great as I want the world to know me as, so I tell some lies. Okay, I tell a lot of lies but I have to. That is the way I am. You won’t mind though because they are lovely lies. Pleasant lies. Lies that make you smile and grin, that make your head spin and your heart beat faster. That’s good isn’t it? There is nothing wrong with making you feel good because that is what you need to do for me. I am going to seduce you, you see, in order to have you fall in love with me. You will really enjoy it. I promise you that. You will be swept off your feet and you will end up loving me like never before and you will never again. At least, that is what I hope. I truly hope you will be the one that can fill up this void inside me with your perfect love. That is why I chose you. If you can do that I will always be good to you. It is a transaction. If you let me down, well, hey, let’s not be pessimistic about things, we don’t need to go there. Yet. There is plenty of fun to have first. How long? Oh that is up to you. I will do my part. I will put you on a pedestal and make you into a queen and I honestly do mean it because I want you to love me, adore me and admire me. I want you to praise me and raise me up to recognise I am your king, a prince amongst men. I need all of that. You must understand that for some reason which has never been explained to me by anybody I have this nagging sensation of emptiness inside of me but I have learned that if you show massive amounts of positive emotions towards me I feel so much better. I will be good to you, so you will be good to me, so I will be good to you and round and round we will go. I have lots to show you. I have lots of friends. I am a popular fellow. I charmed them all and if they knew what I was really like they would run a mile, but they do not know, so we need not concern ourselves about that need we? I know you won’t say anything to them and to be frank, even if you did, they have had so long a period exposed to my charm and magnetism they would not believe you. You may find out about that down the line. Sorry, there I go again, being the doom-monger. Let’s hope we don’t have to go there. This is the best part. It is all sunshine, love and romance. I will amaze you. Yes, I will. I will probably want to move in with you in about three months’ time because then we can have an even more amazing time together and also I can use all your resources without paying for them. Come on, it is only fair. I am going to give you everything so I will also take everything also. That is how I operate. What I give you isn’t real but that doesn’t matter because you will think it is and that is all that counts. Hey, if it looks the same and feels the same, why complain right? I will buy you many wonderful things. I will say a lot to you and I will do it all day and through the night too. I am an expert at finding different ways to compliment you but then I have had a lot of practice. Just accept it though, it is better that way, after all, those others were just a trial run for you, because you are the real thing. Look at me, I just cannot help it. That is one of those standard lines right there. Anyway, you might want to spend the next couple of days with family and friends because I will steadily isolate you from them. Oh they are nice enough I realise but I need you to be subsumed in my world and there is no room for them, especially your sister who I think may be a trouble maker. Either that or she’s next if things don’t work out with you. What am I writing, of course they will, we are soul mates, whoops there I go again. I do it so often it is second nature to me, no wonder I end up believing my own lies at times. Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that you are going to now have the most amazing, scintillating, glorious and breath-taking time which will be beyond anything that you have ever experienced before. I will charm, delight, mesmerise and amaze you. Hang on for dear life as we are going to soaring up very, very high indeed. We are heaven bound. I do want you to be the one. I really do mean that. Please don’t let me down. I don’t think you will. I think I have it right this time. I have studied you well and you are a perfect match for me. So enjoy these words, understand them because once you have they will vanish, but I won’t. I will be with you forever and that is very much the truth.
With love for your fountaining fuel but not you as a person,
With falsity, fraud and fakery
- Arc
Xxx”
55 thoughts on “Love Letter”
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Powerful! I was tuned in heavily of what was to come. Very good.
HG Tudor
MAY 2, 2017 AT 11:45 AM
As if that would ever happen.
Eww,I would never want you.
Ah, playing hard to get G? Marvellous.
you even don’t know how i look and my personality…
🙋
@ High Octane Fuel…
How appropriate to use Pepe Le Pew as a reference…
He too is a narcissist (lmao!!!) sending out love bombs one minute & devaluing everything as he passes it by in the next minute…
LOL!!!
https://youtu.be/1lsQfTaStcs
I had thought I picked him. I think he may have picked me. He always told me so and I was in my own world at the time do it is possible I may not have noticed him from afar. I actually instinctually disliked him upon first meeting. So obviously over the top, trying too hard. Not in a “I want you girl” kind of way, more in a general life way. Anyway he was persistent and that I admired as so am I. Ironically turned into persistently lazy and full of it in the end but that is a different discussion.
Speaking of claiming ownership, not only was I so picked various body parts he told me was his, “this/that is mine”. Is that normal? In context I mean…
It is, yes.
Bravo HG, would you ever consider actually sending such a letter to a previous partner? Perhaps once your therapy has concluded? As part of N.A., if only there was such a thing, to make amends to victims. Is there any one from your past to write such a letter to ?
This would be a better question to ask at the end of my therapy. At this juncture I have nothing to make amends for.
Thus why you are not at the end of your therapy yet…
(haha, I had to. You walked right into that one).
.. respectfully, but if you did feel you had anything to make amends for HG, then you would not be N Arc.
Do you have a conclusion date for therapy, HG?
No Pamela I don’t.
Is therapy a game for you, with the doctors as pawns or have you gained useful insight into yourself through therapy? You must realize therapy will not heal you of your disorder, does your mother think it will?
1. Yes.
2. I have gained insight yes.
3. I know.
4. She does not care whether it does or not (she pretends she does) she just wants me stuck in limbo through it.
HG
Have you ever told Matrinarc that you enjoy therapy immensely? Surely she would not want that. Unless of course you are lulling her into believing she is acheiving HER aims before you pull the rug out from under her. Looking at that now, I believe that is most likely the case. Carry on lol.
You answered your own question NA!
Matrinarc should be undergoing therapy too.
I know you did not have a choice about entering therapy, however, if you had a choice in the selection of the doctors treating you, do you think it would be less of a game for you with them and thinking they are out to win something over you?
Possibly.
HG
Re: The possibility of you picking out the doctors making a difference.
Im calling that out as Jam timorrow big guy.
Thank you HG for those honest answers. Your therapy is a means to an end for you, the long play in the game. Have you told the doctors your mother, is also a narcissist, or have they figured that out on their own ?
They agree with me that she is.
I imagine, they should. Do they also agree she was responsible for the creation of how you are, HG?
Allied with an existing predisposition to be this way.
Yes, thank you HG.
Angry much, HG? LOL!
So romantic… 😜
Ok, there are a lot of funny lines in there. And I kept thinking of Pepé Le Pew as I read this. You people are ridiculous.
If we don’t go within to find the core & a solution, we go without.
So long as you and your kind continue to look for the answers externally, peace will never be found internally.
I hope someday you trip over the answers and are unable to continue as you do.
1. Arc?
Arc seconds?
“Dear letter writer,
Indeed.
*Long sigh*
I havn’t addressed you by name as there are just that many of you..ten a penny for us English or a dime a dozen ..take your pick.
It really isn’t on you know;
This thin edge of the wedge…
*no sigh*…saving my air*
Popping letter back in the mail …return to sender…
But wait…no…!
No contact.!
Good news:
We learn.
This is how we operate:
We heal.
That’s that.
With truth, nothing but the truth and a foot on the neck of fakery.
Spirit
xxx”
until the devalue phase and the need for negative fuel arises or you get bored and go to your next target for a while…
seems legit…
Passion lacks in these modern times, so we must feed our desires when we can. Why do things by half measures? I personally like to engulf myself in it, till it destroys me and I have to rest. It feels like a really good mind orgasm I’ve given to myself, as a treat. We all live off our own perceptions afterall. Think about how wonderful your imagination and creativity is, for it to have left you lying on the floor, butt raped by a hedgehog covered in T.C.P – all it needs is a reverse lever
Is it REALLY their fault? Hmmm, ahhh, oooh
Posts like these…. man… so many emotions…. I wish I never came across this one today. I am in a bad way, and this did not help, but I will read it again at another time when I can fully appreciate what is actually being said here. Great writing, HG. Just hits me in the feels right now.
Hard to believe but thats fine by some of us. We get bored too. Love the rush of the golden period knowing it will end in a fiery death. But oh what sweet chaos in the meantime. The highest highs that some will never know, and what’s the saying? Better to have loved and lost than not at all? Agreed. And “loved” splendidly until the gloss comes off. The disappointment that things have become familiar. The lies and fraud too obvious to blissfully ignore. The level of the golden period could never be maintained and we know this. Chaos of a different nature now. The release of hatred and vitriole held for others and buried while we enjoyed our time with you. The spewing forth of pain and hate for them thrust onto you because…well…you can dish it out alright and thats why we dont feel bad about you having to take it. And when we are spent for now from all of the release, its onto the next golden boy. This would never do of course for you. You do not just want release and to be fueled. You need to know you have put one over, crushed a soul and taken the last breath. You can never have that from me. Pity. But oh we could dance…….if only you were strong enough to let me go.
There are people who can accept you as you are but not long term and they are not victims. That is what you might consider when the subject of alternate fueling without harming others comes up.
Why is it that with normal people my instincts were spot on and with him in most cases I always jumped to the wrong conclusion?
This one made me giggle when I heard it on YouTube. The glee and glibness in which you read it made my day….
You can be quite the terrifying Doom-Monger, can’t you?
What isn’t fake is your void, and to want to find someone who will calm the chaos and bring peace. It doesn’t all have to be falsity, fraud and fakery, The “transaction” is real. You will be good to someone based on them being good to you. Can’t you try to just operate from that simple guideline? The fuel will still be forthcoming.
How do you feel when someone choose you ?
I do the choosing.
well, he is just your type and I can say 100% sure I chose.
What happens if the one you “choose” does not want you?
As if that would ever happen.
Oh..!!so it will never happen?..wasn’t you the one that said” never say never”? You never know…BTW I am just joking..I hope you know it…
Indeed I do realise.
You do realise that I am joking or that what I asked you may happen?
I realised you were joking.
Well…if I have to be honest..which I always am(as a good Empath) I was like ” half” joking….
This so called love letter is similiar to a documentary i watched this past weekend on u tube. Its was a stalking case in the UK.
The victim met the psychopath thru work. He had been giving an IT course to staff. He persued her and snooped into her private life. She kept turning him down. Her dad passed away and he used that vulnerability to enter her life. Eventually they went out and in true narc fashion he sped things ahead to where he moved into her home. He moved a ton of things into her house. He started to control her and devalue just like the typical narcissist cycle. She eventually told him to leave. He moved out but kept stalking her. Sadly when she was in a field tending to her horse he stabbed her 16 times 🙁
So scary! No one seen any type of violent side to him. He only served 14 yrs which is unbelievable!
OMG.
I live here in the UK and i haven’ t heard it.
TRAGIC.
That gave me chills. Not the good kind.