The Narcissistic Truths – No. 1
33 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 1”
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Go back to before the abuse H.G. and embrace that child.. Love that child… God has not forsaken you.. He is with you still even now, though you cannot see, hear or feel Him.. He is with you, and has seen and felt your pain and longs to take it away… Release it H.G. Let it go.. Be free to feel and love without taking… Love is a gift…
I think there’s very similar distinctions between narcissists and people with high functioning autism. With autism, all the intelligence and cleverness is there and they exceed in a multitude of professions… But, they’re born with little or virtually non-existant empathy. They cannot distinguish facial expressions between happy, sad, angry, frustrated etc. The world is theirs for the taking – the kings and queens of the castle. And just narcissists, they encounter troublesome reactions from the people around them.
I think both types of personalities are born this way, but to which level of degree their functioning has reached is also dependant on nurture and their experiences
Like the liver, the heart can regenerate. It doesn’t have to die with the proper healing.
Amen, MsSevyn <3
It’s amazing how parents can screw their child’s brain wiring without realising.
Some, like mine, don’t care enough and pay attention enough to realize. I wasn’t paid attention, until was time to abuse me physically by my mother and sexually by my father. As a result, I …
Sorry to hear this mistynolan01. Are you a narcissist, if you don’t mind me asking?
No. I’m not.
Sorry to hear this. It sounds like your parents are two disordered people not ready or capable to take care of anyone. You have your own identity and it’s all that you need – not theirs.
Since their deaths, I’ve learned that. Therapy is a wonderful thing. Thank you for your kind and empathetic words.
Absolutely Amy.
I grow up with massive insecurities and lack of self esteem , having a deep seeded belief that I am not good enough.
Rules were built on shame, guilt and fear. I was always one of the best ones at school and sport but there was no acceptance or positive feedback. As a child I learned not to argue , not to answer back and if I stand up for myself I would be severely punished.I grow up believing that I deserve this kind of treatment and to avoid it I have to do more and try harder.
I had to develop high tolerance for physical and emotional pain to survive.
This sounds just like me
Sooo fucking true.
100%.
You are a death sentence.
Sometimes I have flashes of memories, and here I am, walking with my raincoat on, eyes on the ground, thinking I must be the nastiest person in the world, trying to numb myself listening only the rithmic sound of my steps; when getting on a bus someone looks at me and smiles, at ME!
I answer with a you-must-be-crazy-don’t-you-know-I-am horrible-nasty-psychotic-and-mad? look.
Then I look at myself, trying to find what he saw in me to smile about.
I just look alright. It doesn’t show on the outside the mess I’m in.
But that smile, I held it dear. Someone could still see something in me, something that I couldn’t see anymore, something I had to find again.
Giulia
😢
Giulia, I too have felt like this.
And when you can’t stop replaying the nasty words spoken in your head. Thought fuel for the narc makes them feel good, and our thoughts make us feel bad.
There has also been times when I felt everyone around me knew what my thoughts were – causing anxiety and isolation. More understanding opens doors, and in turn, makes room for ideas to flow more freely, to develop a better perspective
The upside of this, for me, is that nowadays I feel much more appreciative of regular things that normal people do. I am more thankful, and grateful (whereas in the pre-N era, little gestures of “normal” people went under my radar. Now I don’t find them little. I find them important)
HG that’s very good but people don’t realise this. I challenged and knew something was amiss but nevertheless I continued. I then had a feeling and it was saying keep away from him so I did. I listened to my intuition but it hurt my heart, I have to say this move saved my life. Thank you for assisting in bringing meaning back to my life.
You are welcome.
… and loss of dignity, sanity, money and time…..
HG, I’m anxiously awaiting your instruction on how to achieve “No Impact.” Pieces of my heart and self have been siphoned away by my ex-narc and it’s left me empty and craving him still. I often wonder had I validated him and given him the adoration that he needed if maybe we couldn’t have had a relationship with all the cards on the table. There must be a little of the masochist in my soul, because I can give and give and give like a fountain that never runs out of water and love doing so. I would’ve done that had I known he was a genuine narcissist, and not just conceited as I thought. He did let his mask fall — in retrospect I recognize that and know that he did it purposefully. Did he want me to know and enter into an unspoken pact to willingly worship?
Now, that’s not an option and I am just left craving and craving. . I need your help, HG.
>
I wouldn’t say any of it dies… I would say every day adds another fracture to it and in the end it shatters into a million painful bleeding pieces… and then we put it back together. Some of us with your help. It still all works the same, it didn’t die and still is empathic and capable of amazing love… just more protected. I believe that once we learn and grow from the involvement with a Narc it actually takes another empaths touch, love, compassion, commitment and endurance to rediscover that love. A Narc would never have that patience to put all that work in. So maybe every time the dance or cycle ends just to restart later the Narc is cutting his own supply, quality and quantity of an excellent source of fuel short. If any of the heart would have died we would be transformed into Narcissists eventually… but we are not. Don’t project your dead heart problems onto us as well 😉… here I go again forgetting everything is our fault haha.
How can I get it back? I believe I read are in therapy, am I right? Is this something I should consider? I’m so lost.
I’ve followed San Vankin prior to finding you, HG. I’m sure you are aware of him. He has found a mate and she knows exactly what he is. They make it work. Is it possible that she and he have found a way to balance negative and positive fuel, so as to keep him satiated?
I know I’m all over the place, and I know you can help me. I’d so appreciate it if you’d give me a nugget of your knowledge. Thank you for what you’re doing!
Is that what you have found? Is that what you even want?
My “mate” does not know what I am MN01.
Misty infatuation is fun but you can take some narcissistic traits on that work for you and live without them. Get empaths to influence your judgment. Are you wanting one again???
The end result will always be receiving nothing. Feeling lonely and worthless (because that’s what people are to them).
No, africanviolet. I do NOT want another narc. However, I was curious to know what HG thought about a relationship like Sam Vankin’s. I watched a documentary about them and they seem very settled into one another and quite happy. It’s a mind … warp. I don’t know how it could be possible. It’s not something I wouldn’t want to chance, since he really can’t trust anything they tell you.
You can’t kill what is already dead. You may mutilate my corpse. Doesn’t seem like your style, HG.
1Jaded1
You are far from dead. What would make you say such a thing?
Someone in my life is making me feel like I should take a dirtnap.I can do that emotionally. Jaded is there. I’m resisting but it is difficult when the triggers are there. Part of the reason I am breaking myself down and buying HGs books.
Jaded ((((hugs))))) We are here for you, they obviously do not deserve your time or beautiful light. Good for you reaching out and getting some helpful reading!!
It is amazing you know this and yet, knowing….you still do it.
I suppose that’s where the no empathy/no moral code comes in….
It’s sad, isn’t it. Something in them has to die to survive childhood. I heard empathy is a sign of maturity.
The strange thing is i wonder if i am teaching my kids empathy or not. I mean.. I’m trying butThe ironic thing is.. coparenting 4 small kids w a crazy narcicisst… sometimes stresses me out so much that i react in a nonempathic way to my kids.
Very very frustrating. Any suggestions on how to help with this ? Anyone?