The March of the Lovefrauds
You died the moment you met me.
My kind are engaged in wholesale slaughter. A daily massacre. Nobody is stopping us either.
These massacres are not literal deaths. No, they way I leave you I believe that you may actually prefer to be dead in order to end the pain. The unrelenting pain and misery that I will inflict on you. What I kill is your confidence, your self-esteem and your sense of worth. I annihilate your finances, obliterate your friendships, shred your sanity and drive an icy cold dagger through your very being. You see, people like you pride yourselves on being honest, decent and understanding. That’s what makes you so attractive to me. That’s what makes the killing all the more complete.
You may think that I am an awful human being and that I revel in the consequences of my behaviour. For some of my kind that is right and for others it is not. Some of my kind have no awareness of what they and believe that what they do just has to be done. Others of my kind know exactly what we do. I am not concerned about how you feel. I have no interest in your reaction to what I do. All I am focussed on is what your emotional reaction does for me.
People are stupid. They need everything to be labelled, to be categorised and pigeonholed. They need great big flashing neon signs telling them what people are as they are too idiotic or lazy to try and work it out for themselves. See the man in a dirty raincoat with unkempt hair that hangs around the children’s playground? He is a child molester. Look over there at the man with a striped shirt and a bag with the word ‘Swag’ on it. He is a burglar. What about the lady in dirty, piss-stained clothes, mumbling to herself and trying to feed the pigeons stones? Oh she is a madwoman. That is what people expect to see. Ask anybody to draw a picture of a murderer and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, they will draw a crazed looking man, dressed in black, carrying a knife or a gun. They won’t sketch their spouse or their relative. Ask a person where they will most find a rapist and they will answer that he will be lurking behind a bush near the subway ready to leap out on some stranger. What they won’t do is point at their boyfriend sat next to them watching television.
And that is where the problem lies. You expect to be able to recognise those that will cause you harm in such an obvious manner. It isn’t like that. There is a reason that those dangerous people are able to hurt in the way that they do. It is because they are all around you. They are sat next to you in your car. They stand with you at the water cooler or in the lift. They talk to you at the school gates or serve you your daily coffee. They permeate society. That is what makes them so effective. The ability to blend in and hide in plain sight. How many times have you heard the neighbour interviewed about the horrific murder of a family by the father, say,
“He always seemed so friendly and happy.”
Or.
“He kept himself to himself.”
Or.
“He was a quiet man. I never thought he had it in him.”
Or my favourite.
“You don’t expect these things to happen here do you? You always think it couldn’t happen here.”
These people appear as innocuous as they are so ordinary and fit with their surroundings. They have masked what lurks beneath. These people, the drug dealers, the killers and the abusers were ordinary. They were themselves and they made no attempt to hide or be different.
This is what makes me so dangerous. I make a conscious attempt to blend in with those around me. I am a shape shifter. I take on the characteristics of my victims, mirroring what they love and enjoy. I become what you want me to be. You have always wanted to meet the successful business owner. I am he. How about the well-read bookish fellow who enjoys the theatre and some amateur dramatics? I can be him as well. You just love people who have travelled extensively? Let me tell you all about my yearlong world tour. Rock nut? Done. Singer? Do re me fah so lah ti do. Family man? No problem. I will morph and twist into these ideal people and in so doing I will slide my tendrils around you with insidious ease and pull you into the full horror of my world.
You are not able to see me coming. I hide behind a thousand masks. The bad people I have described above make no real effort to inveigle their way into your world. They are already there. They are part of your day-to-day life and you are unlucky that you just happened to be near them when they struck. I am completely different. I have come after you. I have marked you out as my prey and circled you, preparing to strike. I engage in subterfuge to further my aims and to enable me to glide in and out of people’s lives with slippery ease. I suddenly appear. Oh, there may be some existing connection admittedly, but that is all part of the preparation. When I actually enter your life I do so in a blaze of deliciously disorientating glory that has you rooted to the spot and gagging for more, such is the addictive nature of my behaviour.
All my work is done before I engage you. That is why your execution takes place the moment we meet. All else that follows is merely your elongated death throes and believe me, do I like to drag them out for the maximum of effect. I even pretend to try and resuscitate you from time to time. That’s just a ruse to enable me to suck more of the life from you. You may regard that as twisted. I don’t care. So long as I am able to feed, that is all that I care about. I must feed. Each and every moment to try and satiate this insatiable hunger that rages inside me. I think that the hunger can be sated but somehow, it never seems to be the case.
Thus my killing goes on and on and on. Victim after victim piling up and the beauty of it all is that I merely slip on another mask and melt away to find another unfortunate. I walk away leaving chaos and destruction in my wake but I never look over my shoulder.
Should you fear me? Absolutely. Sadly, for you, you don’t know what to look for because I do not come into your life bearing a warning. Once I have emotionally slain you, only then might you recognise the danger a second time but of course, by that point the damage is done. Amazingly, some of you come back for more. Incredible isn’t it? Sometimes it is with me or sometimes with another of my kind. The effect is the same however. Another excruciating death.
The beauty of all of this is that nobody can touch me. Those who might try to bring the sanction of criminal penalties against me usually fail. They either won’t do it because they still love me or that somehow they think they can save me and they would rather do that. There are others who are so broken they blame themselves and not me. Others again are so utterly destroyed they do not have the strength to take action. The very few that do not fall at these hurdles soon realise that my innate charm, my myriad of lies and irresistible powers of persuasion mean that actually getting the criminal law to apply to me is nigh on impossible. It is only right. The rules are not meant for me.
All of this means that next to nobody recognises my kind when we first choose you. Why would you? We bear no mark or label. We do not appear as some stereotype. We do not look like abusers but then what do abusers look like? They look like me. Him. Her. That man sat across from you on the train in his suit reading a quality broadsheet. The headmistress who crochets around the clock and is a committed Christian. The abuser looks like the construction worker downing his gallon of beer before weaving his way home. He looks like the quiet neighbour. The shy teenager. The earnest music teacher. The gregarious uncle. Him. Her. Them. You do not see us coming. You had no chance. Society repeatedly fails to identify what we are and how we operate. It downplays what we do with a host of euphemisms and woolly descriptions because people cannot accept that somebody who is so pleasant to them can then be so horrible too. Yet, that is precisely how we operate. Would you trust someone who punched you in the face when they first me you? Of course not. You’d trust him after three years of marriage before the first blow landed though wouldn’t you? You would not trust the fraudster if he stole ten thousand pounds on his first day at work, but after five years of solid and loyal service you would not think twice that he was forging signatures and diverting funds to his personal bank account. Society and people are too ready to apply labels which diminish the impact of what we do and what we are. You can attest to the horrendous damage that we do, you know better than anybody else of the impact that we have and yet you have to listen to people talking about how he is “misunderstood”, “under pressure”, “not normally like that”, “must have been provoked”. These well-intentioned people cause considerable damage as the ignorant apologists for the carnage we unleash.
Now you know what we are, you can identify us with ease. You can now think back to all the people you have interacted with and now you see us as if we have been daubed in bright red paint. Your colleague at work. The “difficult” customer. Your mother. Your brother. That friend who upset you one week and then fawned over you the next. The lovers. The celebrities. The politicians. More and more of us are identified by you and yet still we are able to do what we want and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. Society does not identify us. Society does not understand what we are. Society is utterly ineffective in tackling us. Our numbers are growing and our devastating impact on the lives of all those we entangle (and it is never just the one person is it) grows but what is being done? Do the politicians know us (save when they look in the mirror)? Do the police officers understand what we are? The nurses? The social workers? The judges? The court appointed psychiatrist? The jury? The neighbours? The teachers? The local government officials? All those who might be able to do something to address what we are rarely know what we are leading to greater frustration for you and the continued advancement of our agendas.
Nobody is stopping us.
What are you going to do about it?
65 thoughts on “The March of the Lovefrauds”
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Postscript:
Hell hath no fury like an empath scorned. I want him spaghettified.
K,
Your commentary echoes what rings in my own mind.
I think I love you and you are my soul mate. (hopefully that joke was not made too soon…LOL). 😉
Gabrielle,
We are soul mates and the joke couldn’t come any sooner. I read all your posts and feel all your feelings through your words. And I am pleased that your thoughts align with mine. The connection is there and I, too, love you.
Be careful, K. I am glad you love me now but eventually I will grow weary and need more fuel and may need to find a NEW soul mate on this here blog. LOL. Hey I am always trying to find the humor. 🙂
Gabrielle,
I get the humor. When I get stale please feel free to fuel up where you please. I am an empath and I completely understand.
Spaghettified. Lol!
Keep up the good work K:! 🙂 Only cowards tell you to lick your wounds and run away. We are way to strong to defeat. Close down their supply and watch them melt like the wicked witch of the West.
I beg to differ with you but hey you are entitled to your point of view which I would say is nonsense.
frilans2014,
I can feel the defiance in your words. Very nice. I like it. There are two reasons I am considering going after his IPPS: removal of supply, of course, and I feel very responsible for the situation that the IPPS is in, so I will call it a rescue until I can find a more appropriate term. We are strong, but it is nice to be grounded. Anger can cloud judgement, but in this case it is warranted and I thank you for your pluck.
Take care that is all I say K. Remember if you play with fire you get burnt. As the narc would say “your choice”. We are not responsible for other people just ourselves, that’s a valuable lesson I learnt. Good luck.
I am determined. Anger is nothing to be afraid of, but some people would like us to think so. You can channel anger into creative action, empower yourself and do this world some good by exposing them and cutting off supply. I am doing it for one reason only, the kids they destroy for life and nobody cares about. I am sure you will take the right action K!
frilans2014,
I am leaning towards Event Horizon.
“I suddenly appear. Oh, there may be some existing connection admittedly, but that is all part of the preparation. When I actually enter your life I do so in a blaze of deliciously disorientating glory that has you rooted to the spot and gagging for more, such is the addictive nature of my behaviour.”
Holy damn. Mind blown. Rooted to the spot, yet gagging for more. So very harsh, yet so very true.
I confided in one parent, at my daughters’s elementary school, about my ex-boyfriend and this parent did exactly what I knew he would do; he told all the other parents. They all ignore him at the playground now. My empath spy has been trained not to give him any fuel and she reports back to me everything he says and does. My ex has started targeting children for fuel at the playground. It is quite amusing. I, also, told all his business suppliers, many of the school staff, all the people that I know in town, as well as, some people in the business community in the city where he lives. Next, I am going after his IPPS.
K be careful. Remember you are free so start living life. Once I found out what they had targeted which I believe to be worthlessness it was time to address my issues which I never knew I had. Don’t expend to much energy on a fraud, look after the most important person which is you. I know that Melanie Tonia Evans and Kim Saeid are survivors of this abuse and wonderful support. Don’t waste time on him. Take back your power and be the lovely you again but now you have a narc radar. Wishing you well.
Yes SVR, I agree. It made me a bit uneasy reading K’s post.
While I think it’s great that you feel empowered K, please don’t become complacent. Never forget what you’re dealing with. Never forget how much they are capable of and never forget the unpredictability of them.
Take care K.
SVR,
When I began my journey I was really angry, really confused and I wanted revenge. As my journey progressed I have learned to let go of most of my anger, however, some sadness remains, but I am working on that. I have watched both Melanie Tonia Evans and Kim Saeid and they have provided me with some very useful information, as well. You are correct; he isn’t worth my time. My plans for pursuing his IPPS may not happen at all, but it is my ultimate goal. If I can’t effect it correctly, then all plans for revenge will be withdrawn. Your insight is valuable to me and I appreciate it, thank you.
K it’s very difficult. I understand and what will you achieve from contact with IPPS? It’s what he possibly wants as he may have fed her with a load of lies on you and she will not believe you. Then there goes triangulation. Be responsible for yourself and give yourself that time. He is simply shit on your shoes. You are above him, learn to care for who is more important: YOU. I thought seriously before I took action. Keep safe and sane 🙂
karen1303,
I hope I will never forget what he is. He is maniacal and you are absolutely correct in reminding me. We share a young child, so my plans to go after his IPPS might have to be shelved. If I can’t carry them out correctly, I will immediately suppress them. Narcissists are unpredictable and complacency would be a foolish. Thanks for keeping me on my toes and please continue to do so in any of my future posts. Your advice is invaluable.
Hi K, it’s so damn easy to want revenge. The emotions the narcs provoke in us are as extreme as the abuse they dole out to us.
We just have to be careful not to act on impulse. Keep it to fantasy and wishful thinking 😉
I like to think we all have each others back here. It’s a caring, understanding community.
Oh the irony considering who is chief here! ☺
Hi. I just wanted to share some info and you know as an empath at least I have done it and it’s then your choice what you do as you are an adult. I am glad I could be of assistance. I have been in a similar situation but no kids with him and when I found out I wanted to warn the IPPS about him. OMG! It took me much debating and worrying but in the end I just read and read. There is no point because she will not want to believe you that’s for sure. So good on you rise above it, learn from it and do not ever find another child partner. Get a real man and one that deserves you. You can keep me right at times also lol! Because I still get days but they are very few now. I am well and truly out of that FOG. Take care. You and your child are all that matter that’s something always to put to the forefront.
SVR,
His IPPS isn’t a she. It is a he and he is my son.
K I did not realise it was your son, apologies. I cannot pass comment on that as have no experience. I hope you have people on here that can understand your predicament and help. Take care
SRV,
Thank you, you are absolutely correct. Revenge plans are on hiatus. I am here reading all posts, because that is where the answers lie. This blog is a navigational tool that is pointing me in the direction I must go. My daughter’s safety is paramount; not revenge. Take care.
SVR,
There is no biological connection between me and this child. He was a throw-away-child. Both his parents were heroin addicts so I took him in and raised him as my own. He was 5 years old when I met him. I had him 7 days a week all day for 13 years, with the exception of school, holidays and vacations. He lived next door and slept in his family home, but he was raised with my children like a sibling. He called me his second mother and he was my son. The sexual relationship my ex-boyfriend has with him smacks of incest and all of my friends agree. No apologies necessary, it is an awkward situation. The dissonance is very difficult to deal with.
Oh K that’s not good. Can not begin to understand. Just look after yourself in this. Sure HG helping you.
SRV,
Due to the relationship between me and this child (he is an adult now) I have already warned him twice. Most recently this past January. I explained to him that my ex-boyfriend owned him like property. This child is completely wrapped around my ex’s finger. My ex smeared me turning this child against me. The IPPS blamed me for the demise of my relationship, so you are correct; the IPPS doesn’t believe me at all. My ex is now engaged in Isolation Through Occupation. I am out of the FOG, as well, and look forward to reading all your future posts and all your advice is welcome. We are all here looking for answers and help. HG is always there and he knows that I am not shy and will ask for help when I need it. Take care.
You have a tiny dick. It’s called DEVOLUTION. There, I said it. That’s what I did about it.
Freaking Asians… Wtf
But seriously. What ARE we going to do about it?
Just waiting for the day when some psycho narc begins the Third World War
Already happening isn’t it….?
I don’t think that even this knowledge could help US to ran away from your kind because you are very adaptive to all circumstances and all personality types. even though I can protect myself from a Mid ranger or a lesser but I doubt u could get away from the Greater. It’s scary …
The Super-empaths are rising from the ashes and we are closing down your supply, one by one.
HG why oh why oh why!
Especially when you say could be your mum, that man your friend. You were spot on. They are everywhere. Education needs to be given in schools on this personality disorder.
You are intriguing, can be charming, interesting but that can flip to vile behaviour just as quick. Interesting to see you are going into solitory for a while to see if this beast really does do you harm. Your a piece of research but what about ethics :/ Look forward to the beast book. Thank you for being so honest, who would think I would be thanking an abuser and actually believing a liar.
SVR, I wondered what was up with HG. His writing is so dark today. It feels like someone ignited his rage and it’s coming out in his work.
Is that right HG?
Darn! You Guys are everywhere, I want to believe there’s more of us than you but sometimes I think there are more of your kind , then there’s the cruel norms in the world , , I want to believe in my heart people can change if they really want to , but reading your blog ,your kind see no need because fuel is your existence.. If I go left it’s not right… If
I go right I get left. I hate living in fear smh..To be honest I don’t know what to do!
Thanks for scaring me but making me aware at the same time, Your blog is very educational.
This written post reminds me of my narc. He’s opened up now as a self-confessed narcissist and has created a site online to help empaths understand all about the machinisms of his ‘kind’.
Under a pseudo name, obviously.
Run!
“You see, people like you pride yourselves on being honest, decent and understanding. That’s what makes you so attractive to me. That’s what makes the killing all the more complete.”
This statement struck me more than any other, brutally honest. You answer a question of mine with this about your view of innocents. Thank you for that. I hear in this statement a calling of us “targets” as being false humble, that this decent/ honest/understanding thing is also seen by your kind as a mask. Am I reading this correctly, HG?
Do you mean do I see your honesty, decency and capacity to be understanding as a mask worn by you?
In general and yes. Do you and/or your kind view empaths as wearing masks of honesty, decency, and understanding.?
No, those are inherent traits you have which cannot be removed.
Why I asked was the statement that we “pride ourselves…” which felt like it was either viewed as false or with scorn. Is it scorn?
No. Pride is useful. Empaths are proud of those traits, not in an arrogant way but a self-affirming manner.
Thank you HG for that distinction between the two, pride versus arrogance. That was a Freudian for me lol and something I need to look within more closely. Good ole Catholic issues comes thru still for me, haha. We were taught pride was a sin, guess it is still in my head! 😂
Ah yes the influence of Catholicism. Pride is not a sin.
Tell that to Father Felix, Bishop Tude! Practicing my prideful vibe lol
Archbishop if you please.
Haha, didn’t go for the Pope?
No, I’m already God’s representative on earth doing the real stuff, the other guy is just for show.
What an interesting and brilliant read!
So very true.
Lots of food for thought there HG.
Thank you.
Thank you Karen.
For me to comment on this I will have to say things that among our kind are controversial, and will meet disdain and protestations.
People will protest, like Sarabella did yesterday, not accepting the fact that our societies are not functioning the way they should. That the way they function is based on false premises. They will protest that there is no research into narcissism, that simply calling it evil, is not correct. Because our societies function on the premise there is good and evil, that there is a god and devil.
Any other explanation will be protested, with near fury.
They will explain your behavior in any way other than what it really is. It must be just a personality disorder…
The only way to understand narcissism is to see it from an objective reality, the one you see, the way you see it. It creates unease in us, and fear. It will meet protest.
Because the fact that god doesn’t exist, is unacceptable to an average human.
On my first ever day of work there was a bloke asking me if there were any women in the building that I found attractive.
I thought he was being friendly but he was gathering information.
The strange thing is, he would take what you told him and use it against you in front of your face. So, the second time he started asking me questions I said “no, you’re just going to blab it around the building like last time”
then he smiled and said something along the lines of “well done, other people take months to figure that out”
very odd.
“I’m gonna start a MAJOR leaflet campaign”.
Rimmer; Red Dwarf
That’s fighting talk where I come from, HG. Lucky I moved!
I envisage all the Empaths of the world joining suit, commiting the most heinous crimes ever. And the narc sits back in his recliner, holding his fat King Edward cigar loosely through his digits, wearing a smug grin.
Your writing is incredible.
Fighting talk is good, gets you motivated.
Thank you for the compliment.
One of the beautiful things about the emotion, anger! It motivates us to make or influence change. Well said HG, this is a DBT teaching. I swear, if you are not somehow in the field!!! I had to work hard for that knowledge, you just have it! So unfair dude, wish I could have skipped all those tuition fees 😉
Ha ha, I am not in your field, but I have spent so long watching and analysing I pick parts of this up to use.
Ha ha! Us DBT therapists are just trying to keep up with you Greaters!!! Some of the best of the best therapists are very manipulative and observant. My DBT trainer told me this. She also said there was a place for us “softies”too, with a sarcastic grin. She was wanting me to be tough. I was building my armor. DBT therapists are like you in a way, HG. We are attempting to “weaponize” those with BPD to survive emotional dysregulation and not go down the path of suicide and self harm and relationship hopping. However, I will add, it isn’t complete til they have been Tudorized! You have to know WHO your predator is! ((T-Shirt!!))
I’m beginning to believe that you really do want to help. You’re not just here for fuel, though I’m sure you like that you receive it. You aren’t totally selfish, and this work that you do, this part of you, shows that to be true. Thank you for sharing the true mind of a narc. Invaluable.
Kneel down and pray…no other help against evil than from above.
🙁
RUN! That’s what I will do at the first whiff of a narc, whether that be the first date or years into the relationship.