The epitome of oxy-moron from their kind. Exactly what life is like with them.
And we’re the ones that have to go back out into the world after these attacks on our sanity and then attempt to function in a rational manner with scrambled eggs for brains.
Hi HG! I am wondering why my ex narc stayed friends with the one he replaced me with even that person gone no contact on him just like i did to my ex narc,I dont think they are still together as a couple but they are still friends on social networks and following each other, how come he didnt bargain friendship with me and it looks like he is making me aware that he is still friends with that one he cheated me on with?
Dear HG, I can’t find the words to express my passion here, and I am happy to join several readers whom I believe have already asked this of you. Would you please consider (maybe in the future) to write an essay or even much better: a book in which you detail your “In Treatment” experience?
Several psychoanalysts (e.g. Freud and later Heinz Kohut) wrote extensively about how narcissists have a totally different quality of relationship with the analyst. For instance it is argued that transference can not take place.
With your amazing insight and high degree of self awareness, a detailed description of the in-therapy dynamics, told from the Narc’s perspective would result in my view in a unique,groundbreaking, innovative and extremely insightful material, for several communities (psychiatrist, psychologists, analysts, etc.) and for everybody with a keen interest.
I have read several articles in which you had mentioned therapy (maybe I missed some writings). My impression was that these accounts were offered to us with a wink of an eye.. Maybe a more detailed account of the interaction in terms of questions/fears/stirred emotions must remain understandably private. However if and when you are willing to share your experience with us, I will be excited and grateful.
I have been writing this as I go along and decided to place this material in a book, rather than as blog articles. There will be two volumes entitled ‘The Good Doctors’.
I’m excited for all of it, being the groupie that I am.
You certainly have alot of irons in the fire. No rest for the wicked eh HG? Wicked Good I mean.
My Mother’s favorite tactic. I’d call and talk to her about a decision I had to make on something. I would tell her my thoughts. She would agree. I call back and tell her the outcome. Whatever it was she would say, that’s what I told you to do. Uh, no you didnt. Or she will agree with both sides of an issue so she can say she was right whatever the outcome. My Father, he would just want me to do whatever would give him the best bragging rights. My Narc parents, creating emptiness and no identity in their children since the 60’s.
Jaegar…your mum sounds exactly like mine! Exact! Shes continually rewriting history saying she did or didnt advise me to do something based on the outcome. I feel like telling her it wouldnt matter anyways id do what i feel is best.
Yesterday was full of gaslighting. Anything id say happened in the past she would say didnt even down to a euolgy i wrote and spoke at my grandmas funeral that really pissed me off so i asked my stepdad and he confirmed i was right. I had to laugh bc when i asked him this in front of her he looked like a deer in headlights not knowing how he should answer bc he didnt know what she had said. Towards the end of the visit everytime she would debate me on a memory i just changed the subject. The gaslighting gets worse with wine i notice. Shes more affectionate but her narc tactics come out more ughhhh
I perfer her less affectionate and space between us. I gave her a hug the first time in 5 yrs and it felt off. Its sad to feel that way towards the person who gave birth to you and you should feel close to. I feel sorry for her and her mental disorder 🙁
Thx for writing that. I have no contact with both my parents so I don’t have to deal with such antics anymore. I am working on remembering that their parenting skills were flawed from their parents. That they suffered losses and abuse that effected them. I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for them and realize I have surpassed them in emotional intelligence. I know part of that but, I’m not ready to feel sorry as I believe they had a choice in the way they acted. They could have learned to conceptualize things differently like I did. They just don’t want to.
Our languages are literally twisted in translation. The empath could never speak “Narcissist” with the fluency of a native speaker because the demotic text is elusive and ever-changing to suit your needs. Conjugation and syntax do not exist. Your words deliberately thrust us into a fog of bewilderment so you can harvest our fuel and impose hegemonic control. It is verbal battlefield and we will always be outmatched by your skulduggery.
That’s true! Although I made a small supernova today (lol maybe that’s not the right term) and started sending him some word salad, blaming, ridiculous texts like he sends to me. It did give me a rush of power, actually. To just send crap offensive drivel to someone with no obligation that it should make sense, only for the purpose of making his mind explode. It’s quite sweet revenge.
HG…
Your articles have made me think and maybe even reminisce a bit.
Are you familiar with and/or remember “The Amazing Kreskin”?(perhaps before your time?)
The dude truly was amazing…I remember watching him bend spoons, moving objects, etc and all kinds of crazy mind/mentalization tricks, including reading minds.
Do you think he might have been a greater, like you?
there was a movie based on Kreskin written by one of his “road managers” called, “the Great Buck Howard.” If he’s really like the depiction in that movie he certainly sounds like a narcissist. But that guy, who had been his road manager, also thought there was a strong possibility that Kreskin really was psychic and the bit at the end where he has to find his check was unexplainable any other way. he said there were absolutely no confederates and that Kreskin would have been to cheap to hire any, anyway. He also left the impression that Kreskin was basically a decent and fairly nice person.
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The epitome of oxy-moron from their kind. Exactly what life is like with them.
And we’re the ones that have to go back out into the world after these attacks on our sanity and then attempt to function in a rational manner with scrambled eggs for brains.
Yep…
Merry go around.. and around.. and around..
So dizzy…
Hi HG! I am wondering why my ex narc stayed friends with the one he replaced me with even that person gone no contact on him just like i did to my ex narc,I dont think they are still together as a couple but they are still friends on social networks and following each other, how come he didnt bargain friendship with me and it looks like he is making me aware that he is still friends with that one he cheated me on with?
Dear HG, I can’t find the words to express my passion here, and I am happy to join several readers whom I believe have already asked this of you. Would you please consider (maybe in the future) to write an essay or even much better: a book in which you detail your “In Treatment” experience?
Several psychoanalysts (e.g. Freud and later Heinz Kohut) wrote extensively about how narcissists have a totally different quality of relationship with the analyst. For instance it is argued that transference can not take place.
With your amazing insight and high degree of self awareness, a detailed description of the in-therapy dynamics, told from the Narc’s perspective would result in my view in a unique,groundbreaking, innovative and extremely insightful material, for several communities (psychiatrist, psychologists, analysts, etc.) and for everybody with a keen interest.
I have read several articles in which you had mentioned therapy (maybe I missed some writings). My impression was that these accounts were offered to us with a wink of an eye.. Maybe a more detailed account of the interaction in terms of questions/fears/stirred emotions must remain understandably private. However if and when you are willing to share your experience with us, I will be excited and grateful.
I have been writing this as I go along and decided to place this material in a book, rather than as blog articles. There will be two volumes entitled ‘The Good Doctors’.
Wow HG ! Wonderful to know so, excellent news!! Awaiting..
Thank you so very much
I’m excited for all of it, being the groupie that I am.
You certainly have alot of irons in the fire. No rest for the wicked eh HG? Wicked Good I mean.
OOOh…I’m dying to read this!
My Mother’s favorite tactic. I’d call and talk to her about a decision I had to make on something. I would tell her my thoughts. She would agree. I call back and tell her the outcome. Whatever it was she would say, that’s what I told you to do. Uh, no you didnt. Or she will agree with both sides of an issue so she can say she was right whatever the outcome. My Father, he would just want me to do whatever would give him the best bragging rights. My Narc parents, creating emptiness and no identity in their children since the 60’s.
Jaegar…your mum sounds exactly like mine! Exact! Shes continually rewriting history saying she did or didnt advise me to do something based on the outcome. I feel like telling her it wouldnt matter anyways id do what i feel is best.
Yesterday was full of gaslighting. Anything id say happened in the past she would say didnt even down to a euolgy i wrote and spoke at my grandmas funeral that really pissed me off so i asked my stepdad and he confirmed i was right. I had to laugh bc when i asked him this in front of her he looked like a deer in headlights not knowing how he should answer bc he didnt know what she had said. Towards the end of the visit everytime she would debate me on a memory i just changed the subject. The gaslighting gets worse with wine i notice. Shes more affectionate but her narc tactics come out more ughhhh
I perfer her less affectionate and space between us. I gave her a hug the first time in 5 yrs and it felt off. Its sad to feel that way towards the person who gave birth to you and you should feel close to. I feel sorry for her and her mental disorder 🙁
Thx for writing that. I have no contact with both my parents so I don’t have to deal with such antics anymore. I am working on remembering that their parenting skills were flawed from their parents. That they suffered losses and abuse that effected them. I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for them and realize I have surpassed them in emotional intelligence. I know part of that but, I’m not ready to feel sorry as I believe they had a choice in the way they acted. They could have learned to conceptualize things differently like I did. They just don’t want to.
Our languages are literally twisted in translation. The empath could never speak “Narcissist” with the fluency of a native speaker because the demotic text is elusive and ever-changing to suit your needs. Conjugation and syntax do not exist. Your words deliberately thrust us into a fog of bewilderment so you can harvest our fuel and impose hegemonic control. It is verbal battlefield and we will always be outmatched by your skulduggery.
That’s true! Although I made a small supernova today (lol maybe that’s not the right term) and started sending him some word salad, blaming, ridiculous texts like he sends to me. It did give me a rush of power, actually. To just send crap offensive drivel to someone with no obligation that it should make sense, only for the purpose of making his mind explode. It’s quite sweet revenge.
Listful Dahlia
It did feel good to give him a taste of his own medicine when we were together. He seemed confused for once, while I felt powerful. It was refreshing.
So so true
Correct.
HG…
Your articles have made me think and maybe even reminisce a bit.
Are you familiar with and/or remember “The Amazing Kreskin”?(perhaps before your time?)
The dude truly was amazing…I remember watching him bend spoons, moving objects, etc and all kinds of crazy mind/mentalization tricks, including reading minds.
Do you think he might have been a greater, like you?
I don’t know who this is, I shall have to look him up.
there was a movie based on Kreskin written by one of his “road managers” called, “the Great Buck Howard.” If he’s really like the depiction in that movie he certainly sounds like a narcissist. But that guy, who had been his road manager, also thought there was a strong possibility that Kreskin really was psychic and the bit at the end where he has to find his check was unexplainable any other way. he said there were absolutely no confederates and that Kreskin would have been to cheap to hire any, anyway. He also left the impression that Kreskin was basically a decent and fairly nice person.
Yes.
Mentally ill with no cure in sight
This made me LOL