Nobody Is Listening
Go on then, tell them all what has happened to you? Go on, here, take my phone and ring my parents, my family and my friends. Ring my colleagues too. Telephone the golf club in fact why don’t you take out an advertisement in a local, no, make it a nationa lnewspaper and tell everybody about how badly you have been treated? Climb on the roof and shout it to the neighbourhood, tell everyone who calls at our door and bellow it to strangers as they walk past. Do it, go on, tell them about. Announce it, broadcast it, transmit it, send it out by mail, e-mail ,message and radio signal. Have it blaring from the radio, repeatedly playing on television, hell I will even let you strap a message to a flock of pigeons and you can let them deliver the news that way. Scrawl how badly you have been treated by me on a piece of paper and wrap it around a brick and hurl it through the window at the police station. Scream it long and loud until you are hoarse. Go on, tell them, tell them all.
Tell my parents about their successful son who has studied hard, achieved brilliant results and now excels at work about what I do? Why don’t you gather all my friends around here and announce to them what a bastard I am? I am sure they will be intrigued to listen to you saying that about their loyal and dependable friend who always makes time for them and has helped them out in repeated ways through his largesse and influence. Pop next door and bang on their front door, explain to them with your wild eyes and even wilder hair what has really been happening? After all, I only every show them friendship and politeness don’t I? I don’t think they have heard me shouting at you (I wait until they are away before I raise my voice) but I know they have heard you ranting and bawling. Go to the local shopping parade and mention to the pleasant lady at the bakery what I really get up to behind closed doors. I am sure she will love to hear you tell her all about the charming man who is her best customer and has arranged for her to supply the restaurant of two of my friends. Call my brother and give him chapter and verse. Oh you can’t because he won’t answer the ‘phone to you anymore will he? I know, head down to the gym and see if you can interest any of the regulars with a hysterical rant about the chap who they all say hello to and who works out quietly and regularly. Type out a memo for my colleagues and circulate it to them. I am sure they will be interested to read all about their boss who holds the keys to their future. Declare it to the group I attend football with, they will want to know all about what I do won’t they? What’s that? These are all my people. At last you have recognised the truth of the matter in between your vile outbursts and hateful comments. I know then, ring up your sister and see what she has to say, mind you, I daresay you won’t want to give her the satisfaction after the way she came on to me would you? Tell your friends all about it. Oh wait, they are now my friends and all they have ever seen is how happy I have made you, the gifts, the trips, the presents and the love. What about the vicar? He will listen to you I am sure. It is what he does after all although what he will make of such slander against a regular attendee at his sermons and generous charity donor remains to be seen.
Do it, grab a loudspeaker, create a banner, haul a message behind an aeroplane and write it in the sand on the beach. Do it in this frenzied manner with words spilling from your twisted mouth, a word salad which makes no sense. I am sure the staccato way you spit out your accusations will be well-received. Make sure they look deep into your crazy eyes when you are talking to them, I want them to see who they are really dealing with. Tell your father will you? Ha, he has put up with this for years and was glad to see you leave home, he told me himself. He knows what a drama queen you are and as for your mother well she hates confrontation and she adores me since she knows just how much I have done for you.
Go on, beat your tiny fists about that façade, see if you can punch some holes in it although I know you will not be able to. Shout and stamp and holler all you like. I will enjoy watching you do that and there will be no favourable outcome for you. You are the crazy one and you are trying to unseat the stable, rational, dependable and ultimately far more likeable me. But you keep trying, it amuses and fuels me as your bloodied hands slap against the façade with no effect and your voice becomes no more than a rasp. I will watch as the hope fades in your eyes to be replaced by fear and incomprehension. Keep trying though, keep going and reinforce what I have already indoctrinated them to believe. They believe me. They won’t believe you.
24 thoughts on “Nobody Is Listening”
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HG,
I was hoping if you could give me some insight on a clear way to know if my partner is a covert Narcsist. I was almost 100% convinced that he was because our relationship had been an emotional rollercoaster. I even gave him the nick name my-Rollie within the first few months of us dating. He has done the love bombing, ghosting and silent treatment anywhere from a few hours to a few days. Moreover, he breaks up with me often behind dumb shit and I’m the one that begs him to come back. The only thing he hasn’t done in the year that we have been together is devalue me. The reason I am hesatent to believe that he is a Narcissist is because he is an Ex soldier that has been diagnosed with C-PTSD & TBI . We all know that most Mental health disorders ofyen display similar signs and character traits. Please if you can share some of your expertise on the matter.
Thanks in advance
Thanks so much HG 🙂 It is not my goal to talk ill of my ex but if I have to explain some of the smearing he has done of me-then it becomes necessary to have cold hard facts-not emotions.
Thanks again!
That’s the way to do it.
HG,
Spot on-as always. After reading this article I realized that prior to finding you nobody would have believed me which is why I never said anything to my family and very little to my friends. If I did not understand what was happening how could they plus his facade was so real to me and others. However, now, after HG, which is how I explain it, I can speak the truth and because I have the knowledge to back it up, people are listening and understanding. I will even forward some of your articles-I hope that is OK with you, and thus far, people are amazed at both the content and the author(with how clear and blunt you are about explaining that particular topic)
Do you think HG that after gaining the knowledge we have through your works, people are more apt to listen? Especially since their is not anger behind our words, just facts from the expert-You.
Much appreciated 🙂
I think you will be able to present in a more meaningful way and to the people who are more likely to listen than to those who won’t at all.
Or so you thought, tHiNg…
Hi HG. My ex reaches out to me daily for the last week and a half. No lovebombing but casual chatting. No triangulation or malignnese. But is reminding me sometimes why we would not work as a couple. Obviously the reason why he is reaching out is for fuel. Is there another reason he is talking to me daily? Is he in devaluation phase with his PS? Is he trying to keep options open? Wanting to change to lovebombing later? Your thoughts please?
It will be that he is devaluing the current IPPS and he is therefore testing the waters with you. As you identify he is hoovering for fuel but because he has an ‘investment’ in you, he will be looking to promote you, if you merit it of course and at this stage he is seeing how the land lies with you. Do you feel any need to engage with him daily?
I do…
I appreciate your honesty. Why?
Im still hooked. So what merrits promotion?
Various factors all at his behest.
Hi KT, I respect your honesty.
May I suggest you read as much as you can here. Every article if possible.
In the end the penny will drop.
Hope you find your self worth soon.
I am so lucky that he has little control of himself and exposed himself during the smear campaign and continues to with his new victim, playing the same games.
His close family already knew. My family knew. My close friends knew.
The fact that most of his family still interact with me is telling. So do his friends. If they believed his bullshit about me they would have wiped me out of their lives. The only members of his family that wiped me out are the ones that are scared of him. I don’t hold it against them. I know the feeling of fear he casts upon people. And I would still be there for them if they needed me.
Thank God he’s a mid range and not a greater. It sounds so scary!
Thanks HG for another informative and interesting article.
A midranger is one horrible creature…
Brilliant writing.
Thank you.
I didn’t need to tell anyone. Apparently everybody else knew but me. They were just waiting for it to end, laughing at me behind my back – waiting, knowing. Only after I was discarded did they tell me what they knew, yet they watched me walk alongside this man for almost three years so happy and proud, thinking I had found the greatest man alive.
He showed me off to his family like I was a toy, yet when I spent nights at the house with them, he would tell me to go to the room, and wouldn’t let me engage them except in passing down hallways, etc. He compartmentalized us to keep his lies and deception going. They knew who he was, they were his blood/siblings, and had seen him unmasked, but not me. Not until months post discard. In my case, I was blinded by love, and they knew it, everyone did, so they kept their silence for fear of me getting mad at them for destroying my fake happiness. In my case, I wish THEY had climbed rooftops and shouted it, attached it to bricks and threw it in my window, or strapped messaged to pigeons. It would have spared me so much pain and embarrassment.
Great article though.
Honestly narkedoutanj1 would you have listened? Perhaps they figured not.
Lisa, probably not
Distasteful in all ways. Where do narcs get the time to do all this?
Bullshit ! My friends saw it and believed it and helped me escape. Eventually you come undone ………. you make mistakes after years of trying to appear normal. Little mistakes. Big mistakes. You are so grandiose that you really start to believe the shit you spin. And you actually believe that other people believe it too. But they don’t. At first they notice something is off. But then it really starts to show. And then people start saying they don’t know how you put up with it. And then ……. even when you’re going around telling people that we are actually the crazy ones you start to come undone. Because. If like I , you have managed to maintain close personal friendships through all of the adversity, they will not believe him. If you are well liked. They will not believe him. They know you and they will help you. Even your family knows. They’re scared of you , but not enough to not talk to me. Fuck you. You nearly destroyed my life. But you didn’t. And now you are left with people you pay to be your friends. Enjoy that. They did not believe you.
there is no “telling”. it has to be proven with undeniable proof and even then, they still buy into the lies
Yup! His wife for one. He cheated on her. Had a double life with the other girl for almost two years. It destroyed her. Then she took him back anyway. Here I sit, jealous that he’s hers and not mine. 😔