Prey
We are adept at sniffing out our prey. We are able to identify those that will be of little use to us and ignoring them. We discern those who are obstructive and avoid them. We have an instinctive ability to target those who serve our purposes with the greatest effectiveness. Those who will provide us with copious amounts of fuel, those who will provide the traits that we need to steal for our own construct in order to draw others to us as to keep the creature at bay. Those who will give us the additional benefits which we regard as our entitlement, access to your resources for our sole use. The Lesser latches on to those who serve his kind once they come too close to him. Like a predator noticing the scent of a potential victim, he is alerted to your presence and makes his move, swift and immediate. A creature of instinct, he knows when there is a victim who will suit his purposes nearby and will go after that person. They may not be the best suited to his purposes but that does not matter, for now. He senses prey and will bring down this victim and attach himself to them, leeching the fuel from them until it is near empty and he will then discard and move to the next victim he has sniffed out and who is nearby. The Lesser will lurk in the most proven hunting grounds. He does not want to venture too far away. He does not want to expend too much energy stalking that prey and wearing it down. He looks for victims who are easily in reach, who he can bring down without much effort and then sink his fangs into with ease. It might be that a more suitable, a more fuelling victim, is a little distance away, but the Lesser goes for what is in front of him. He will not spend time seeking out a better victim but slays what is nearest and then moves on to the next nearest and so forth. Thus the Lesser hunts in an aggressive and volatile manner, he must seduce his victims quickly for fear of the beast within making itself known too soon and frightening his prey away. He has to camouflage his own creature and is not able to do it for too long. The Lesser will want low-hanging fruit. He is not interested in those that might pose a challenge and thus provide more rewarding fuel. He will take fuel from his primary source victims anyway he can. You may liken it to someone mine sweeping for drinks at a party. Rather than waiting to find the bottle of Grey Goose vodka hidden by the host at the back of a cupboard, the Lesser will drink the dregs of a can of beer, then swig what remains from the nearest bottle of wine and thus move from receptacle to receptacle, feasting and draining.
The Mid-Range is more discerning. He knows what he is attracted to and he will spend longer searching for it. He has reasonable intelligence, guile and ability and thus he will put this to use in order to find the more appropriate victim for him. He can pass over somebody who might be suitable but is not entirely satisfactory. Whereas the Lesser would have snatched hold of that victim, sniffing out that person’s reasonable suitability, a number of the traits he requires being met, but not all, the Mid-Range is content to stalk a little longer. The Mid-Range makes considerable use of watching from afar as he evaluates the applicability of his prospective prey. He observes, regards and reflects. He does not have the out and out confidence to go for the kill straight away like the Greater, nor is he pushed by the sense of urgency and hunger which afflicts the Lesser. He has some control and he will use this to ensure his appliances, especially those which become the primary source are the better ones. He of course is not of limitless energy and there comes a time when necessity becomes the driver for interaction and he must make his choice, but it is not without consideration and application to those traits, both generic to the empathic individual and specific to the type of victim which best accords with his own needs. The Mid-Range recognises that there is a type of person he is drawn to, although he does not know why this is. He is able to discern those traits and characteristics which serve him best and as a consequence it is those that he will apply some time to achieving. He recognises that certain traits in people afford him greater satisfaction and therefore he will look for those without knowing the true reason he does so. The Mid-Range will apply some methodology to the hunt for his prey but there is always the pressure of need which means that it may not be as ideal as he might like.
Continuing the mine sweeping analogy, the Mid-Range would not bother to sup the dregs from bottles and glasses at the part but spend time thinking about where the “good stuff” might be stashed. He will locate four cans of beer in the fridge. There might be greater rewards elsewhere but he is satisfied with this reasonable degree of quality that he has identified and does not want to risk letting his prize disappear as he gambles on trying to find something superior and failing.
The Greater revels in the hunt. The identification of the choicest victim is crucial to him. Yes, there may be times when necessity brings about the imposition of a less desirable (yet still functional) victim but when the conditions are apt (there is no fuel crisis and we are preparing for discard and are therefore in control of our environment) the Greater will spend time identifying those who exhibit many of the generic and specific traits that will serve him best. Indeed, the Greater will have several prospects in hand as he mines information about these prospects, assesses and evaluates it. Once satisfied that the signs and indications are good, he will make his move and engage to ascertain that his initial intelligence remains good. If it is (and it is usually is) he will then move in for the kill. Unlike the Lesser who will go for the jugular and bring his victim down swiftly and promptly, the Greater will utilise the intelligence that he has gathered in order to mesmerise, charm and hypnotise his victim. With dedicated application, the Greater will readily disarm his victim, disable any self-defence which may exist and have the victim exactly where he wants him or her. Like a viper, he will strike suddenly and with lightning speed he will be attached to the victim, fangs sunk deep and then the draining will begin as the fuel pumps from the unwitting victim to be sucked up by the Greater. The Greater knows what he wants and he will stalk different hunting grounds in order to achieve what he wants. He has the ability and the energy to sustain a longer hunt, or a shorter hunt where the victim may prove to be more challenging. Of course if a victim supplies the necessary traits and can be ensnared with ease, the Greater will also take this low-hanging fruit. He is no fool. However, he is undeterred by the higher-hanging fruit, that which is more succulent and nourishing in terms of fuel. He knows where to find the best victims, that is why he operates in several hunting grounds and he also is the most able of the three schools of narcissist to identify the traits in his victims. Whilst the Lesser sense by instinct, the Mid-Range knows what works for him but does not know why, the Greater knows precisely what it is what he wants. He also knows how these various traits manifest in his victims. He understands what to look for, what to see, what to listen out for and once he has seen the indicators he is able to satisfy himself that the appropriate traits exist within this target. He will then lock on and only in the most extreme of cases will he be prevented from conquering this target. The reward is too tantalising, his skill set too great and the lure of such a delicious victim proves too great for him to resist, challenging or not.
Once those fangs have sunk into the victim and the fuel is drawn, whether it is a Lesser, Mid-Range or Greater, we will remain until it comes time to identify the next prey.
63 thoughts on “Prey”
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HG can you spare me a moment please.
I think I have identified my Narc Radar alarming. I have met a male who I was friendly towards when I saw him. He had those longing eyes, quite intising to look into. He has told me problems he has been having with the wife (they are not living together)and all that jazz. Now I thought he was trying to get bits out of me about my life in a clever way but I have been very careful. He has told me I smell nice and he got a funny look from me and has never said it again. I hardly know him, actually I don’t. He has said I look nice in a roundabout way. He has said he has a couple of girls interested in him and today he tells me that people look up to him because of his body. I think he has been waiting for me to tell him on a few occasions that I think he looks good but it’s not forthcoming from me as it would be a lie. He then tells me after not seeing me around for 3 weeks that I have changed. I have not been so talkative to him or laughing with him. Now my intuition tells me this is a Narc Alert. May I have your thoughts? Thank you.
Also in those 3 weeks he messaged me 2 weeks in to ask me a question he already knows the answer to.
It is often the case.
Hello Brian!
I find your comment seeing the narcissist as a form of co-dependant very accurate .It makes sense being the narcissist completely dependable of fuel from others.
I read as well that you first placed yourself as a Superempath shifting now to a co-dependant. That was quite a shift. If you feel like sharing: what made you change your mind?
Hi I cant take credit for the comparison . it was kittyhasclaws.
At first I put super-empath because I read the article and thought I matched it,
Later on I’m thinking was I being biased and just choosing the one option that seemed to be the most impressive and superior.
I was just observing myself and reflecting recently
I realised that I am an emotional giver, and beyond that, any other observations could be bias.
Hello Brian!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. To know more about myself within the different groups of empaths was actually the first step for getting grip of the dynamics I had with my ex and helping me to let it go.
HG,
Veri interesting observation of Brian seeing the narcissist as a form of co-dependant. Interesing explanation of yours by placing the empath as a giver and the narcissist as a taker in mutual co-dependecy. Would that mean that all the empath “schools” , including the Super Empath present some form of co-dependency? Or is this characteristic only pertaining to the Co-Dependant empath?
Hi SX, all empaths will exhibit some traits of co-dependency but would not be described at co-dependent in the way which I use the label for that member of the empathic group.
Thank you for your answer HG.
If I understand correctly,according to your description of the different groups of Empaths, the co-dependency could be described as a temporal state created by the narcissist when interacting with a SuperEmpath ( perhaps an Empath as well) but not a “natural trait” pertaining a SuperEmpath? As compared to the group Co-dependant where this co-dependency is a “natural” trait ?
You revel in the hunt, I see. Tell me Mr Tudors, are you currently hunting someone or does this happen only between women?
Never in between.
If you must overlap “prey”, its because you’re reliant on their emotional output, and would “collapse” without it, then that makes you the ultimate codependent. No?
Definition of Codependent:
“excessive emotional (or psychological) reliance on a partner”
So then why go after codependents? 2 Co’s in a relationship=can’t work. Just because you pretend like you’re not codependent, doesn’t make you not one.
Since you can’t self-fuel, you look for another person to fuel you. But narcs pick codependents often. that’s not logical or even practical.
Even reading my book now I know a narc. Wow! I am very well attuned and whole now. Never will I fall for this utter nonsense. I realise I played the game also, but it took to play the game to realise who I really am. Shit game but resulted in a great life now after the hurt and removing these people from my life.
I can see the force in your arguments about seeing the narcissist as a form of co-dependent. The situation certainly fits that definition. Here is how it works :
1. Co-dependent – excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner through the GIVING of emotion and reliance on the response of the narcissist;
2. Narcissist – excessive emotional reliance on the TAKING of those emotions from the victim.
Thus two co-dependents can and do work.
That’s a good distinction HG, I would say I’m codependent. I put super empath before because I read the description, and maybe it appealed to me more.
Thank you Brian.
Kittyhasclaws…i really believe narcissism is a form of codependancy. They rely on fuel. I think narcs target codependants or the vulnerable bc a well adapted person wouldnt put up with abuse and respect themselves too much to do so. It makes perfect sense to me why a narc would choose a codependant to prey on.
HG…
“… and only in the most extreme of cases will he be prevented from conquering this target.”
What extreme cases? Can you delve into this “anomaly”?
The narcissist targets his prey, baits a trap with synthetic love for the unsuspecting empath. Ensnares his prey and gets her hooked onto his synthetic love. Then he uses and abuses her and when he is sick of her, he tosses (discards) her aside and does it again and again. And, of course, there are multiple targets in this house if ill repute.
You have been upgraded from a lowly smack dealer to a trafficker of human souls.
Four cans of beer in the fridge..?I think my Mid-Range somehow managed to secure a bottle of Grey Goose vodka.😆
Haha brokenwing. Too flamin right! and we got the contents of the drip tray!
PS HG. If one has pending comments, (for what seems like ages), does that mean that those comments will not be posted? Call me stupid but……
No. What happens is that there are periods when I am unable to address comments and they naturally build up. I then try to push through the comments which are observations, responses to other readers from readers and those which do not need my input (or if they do the input is minimal). This is done to keep a flow going. The longer posts and those with questions cannot always be addressed. I may moderate a handful of posts from my phone when I am travelling somewhere or waiting in a queue for instance. Then when I have a block of time I will address more comments. This does mean that comments get pushed down the list as more keep arriving. I am very busy professionally at present. I need a couple of days solid moderating to clear the backlog, but all posts will be published eventually (unless they fall foul of the rules). If you have questions which you need answering quickly, that is what the consultations are for.
Thank you for the detailed explanation, HG. I had a comment pending for a while and thought I’d ran afoul. This is a good opportunity for me to ask you, what are the posting rules?
Please see the Rules section in the menu bar of the blog.
So, everbody stop commenting, until HG is through!! 🙂
Very good HG. Read and understood. Thank you. 🙂
Thank you
Interesting piece HG. Question: we, the emaths, can take months even years to know what the narc is right?….so how soon does the narc know we are what he is looking for? I mean is it within the first encounter (or two)? Does he study us for awhile before taking his bite, or does he bite first and hope he can work us out soon enough?
Not sure if Im being clear. Hope you know what I mean. Thanks as usual. 🙂
It is instinctive. If you read Sitting Target it is explained there.
Ahh of course. Thanks HG, I will…
Hg approves.
https://youtu.be/QI8VrXkffcg
takes on a brand new meaning now.
from narc production
And you don’t know him. Oh and you don’t want to know him 😂
Apologies HG no harm meant
My ex is a mid-ranger. I’m becoming intrugued by the intelligence, skill, and (false) charm of the greater. I don’t know any greaters except for HG.
Jenna
The charm is very real, it is how it is used that changes things.
A knife can be used as a tool for cutting food, rope, etc or be used as a weapon to defend or attack. Either way the knife is still a knife.
HG is in a class of his own, never have I spoken to one like him.
Twilight,
You have but never knew they were. They will not tell you. HG does not tell the people in his “real life” he is what he is. Only his family and doctors know.
If you met a handsome stranger and they said “hello, I am a narcissistic sociopath and I will destroy your life as you know it” would you stick around?
AH OH
You are assuming I don’t know. No they don’t normally tell you in the fashion one expects, but they do tell. You can’t hide your energy, it’s feels different.
Just because HG doesn’t tell in his real life what he is doesn’t make his charm fake.
I would appreciate the honest from the start and see what happened. I have my own beliefs on things
Twilight, i agree with you. When i wrote ‘false’ charm, i was referring to the charm used to create the facade.
Jenna
I understand your point. I am sorry you lost someone you cared about,
And may you NEVER actually know any, Jenna. It’s just that sense of intrigue that ensnares you, and they are a bloody mess to deal with. It won’t be intriguing anymore when he’s ruining your entire. I promise.
Thx BLW!
Twilight, they are intriguing –and exciting — and super fun in bed. When I first started listening to HG on YouTube, a couple of months ago, and more recently reading this blog, I thought to myself, “why can’t narcissists just tell you what they are and what they need, and develop a relationship where both people get what they need.”
That would never work because most of the fuel comes via their deception and that’s the way they like it. I don’t believe it would be fun for them if they aren’t tricking, beguiling and finessing you out of fuel.
They get bored easily, so if you’re just playing along that’s not going to do it for the narc. Keep reading. Listen to his audio. It’ll be hard to ignore the sexy confidence he exudes — and that voice! But listen to the words carefully. He’s giving us tools to protect ourselves. Use them.
I admit it’s easier said than done. I have many weak moments.
My advice? Listen, learn and run!
mystynolon01
I do agree with you on the intriguing and exciting.
HG has made their perspective easier to understand. Knowledge is the only “power” there is, the choice is in how you use this knowledge.
Your advice is taken, and concern appreciated. Thank you.
All you have to do is read the Igniters of Fury and do exactly that…ignore texts, don’t answer calls, compliment others in the N’s presence. Brag about your accomplishments, interrupt the N as often as possible. Don’t want to go to whatever function they have planned.
Seriously, HG is handing you the keys to the kingdom on a platter here! Use them for your own personal enjoyment.
Ruth
You do understand taunting a lessor can become very dangerous don’t you?
I understand why you would enjoy doing such, tit for tat, what does it solve? Not a damn thing, and quite possibly put you in a very dangerous predicament. What then, you poked the bear they reacted and someone gets hurt, who is responsible for that situation then, them or the empath antagizing the Narcissist?
You’re right. I am thankful the ex nark was a greater. Mixing my personality disorder and his, I could be dead.
I am not talking about taunting. I am talking about making them go away before they make your life hell.
Ruth if you are doing thing to ignite their fury to make them go away, that is taunting.
If you do nothing, or become the doer of no emotion they leave.
I took your comment as you were doing to ignite and be entertained by what happens. That in my perspective is taunting.
Yeee Harr 😂
Being a human means having humanity. Narcs are wild animals … or can be likened to the mythical blood-sucking Vampire, as suggested in this post.
I am seething right now, hoping something horrible happens to him.
The fact that it started as an innocent Facebook friend request and then the love bombing came 7 months later…. reading this makes sense given the givens of my mid ranger.
What’s the most effective disposal method for each school of narcissist, and which cadre is more susceptible to Chloroform?
Asking for a friend.
Sarah, Your humour is ace! 😉
Just makes me feel sick to think how used (or useful) I was. Never again.
Now this is hurtful. A narc is just like an animal. It’s like a wild animal in a human body. I hope never to meet another one of you lot. It took me a long time to trust again. I cannot believe I was so gullible.
I bet you will never be gullible again. Even before I found this blog and all of HG’s books, I was onto a Greater. Finding this goldmine got rid of him in under ten days and completely painlessly.
Lucky you. Dogged a bullet.
i hate to think that ‘this is it’ for me, but after being ensnared one time too many….. and this one I really didn’t see coming until I was well trapped, I really can’t see how I’m ever going to be able to trust anyone again 🙁 *sigh*
You most definitely can. Thinking like that does not help you (there you go told off lol!). All it is is your just not ready. Be kind to yourself and there is plenty of time. Have a look at prochaska and clemente model of change. Explains it. Good luck BUT you can do it.
SVR, Time will tell I suppose. ‘Recovery’ has never taken this long before, some I’ve walked away from with barely a backwards glance. This one’s insidious deviousness *slowly* got his hooks in deep, I genuinely trusted him (and I had really *thought* of myself as guarded, and pretty savvy due to previous run ins!!). I really thought I’d found one of the good guys. Hell No!! this guy was the worst kind of ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’ and over the course of the last 5 years he very nearly broke me. I don’t even trust myself anymore.
Thanks for the pep-talk….. off to give my head a wobble and face reality 😉
Look deep into yourself. The inner child is sad, there is unhealed trauma. Spend time with that and from there you will trust yourself totally. To let you know I did not trust myself and could not believe how I had ever managed to achieve what I have, I hid away from everyone, did not want to speak to people as I did not trust any of them, I had panic attacks and could not leave myour house initially, then my bedroom. I went shopping with a friend and when they left me to go down another isle I freaked and reverted back to being a child alone looking for security. Unbelievable. If you put the time into yourself you will reep the rewards and fingers a real man, and that is perfection. Lots love x