Lol .. I so wish I could post a photo I have of him that someone took when I hugged another singer. Fury! I didn’t know about narcissism when I did that. He actually threw a fan’s CD that he was signing.
HG… You know you’re on my pedestal 😉 and I share your work on my blog to keep you on that 24K Virtual Pedestal…. please know that you are genuinely appreciated
Do you ever get bored with the fawning attention of postings here or your other social media? I know on one level, it feeds you, but on another level, don’t you ever desire to reach/meet someone who finds this kind of groveling beneath them? Or is that kind of sincerity just something you cannot fathom? I really would like to know.
You speak of your seductions, etc., but it all seems so flagrantly plastic and artificial. If you thought so highly of yourself, (and you seem to!) wouldn’t you desire someone who is a level above this type of behavior? Or is it just the game that interests you?
It hasn’t Joanne, I do not believe in astrology (although of course I will do so if it confers an advantage in seducing someone). What were your thoughts in this regard?
If I complimented someone else my husband would find something negative to say about them. I finally got fed up with it one day and asked him why he ran everyone down that I said something nice about, he said he needed to knock them off the pedestal I put them on. I left him last year.
So, a partner innocently compliments someone else and then the narcissist feels pain. So then during devaluation the narcissist constantly compliments others because they know from experience that it’s not a pleasant thing to do.
Then when confronted, gaslighting will be used.
I complimented his IPPS on passing an exam. He never asked how I knew. He never acknowledged my acknowledgementor of her achievement. Would this have wounded?
HG as an empath in the past prior to awakening I use to feel threatened a lot when people (family) mainly were always talking about how marvelous someone in family was. Felt it directed at me as I worthless and made me upset inside. Is it a similar feeling you get?
Yes, you gave attention to her and not him.
Yes it will be similar but the reaction is more of fury than of feeling worthless. The sense of worthlessness is wrapped up in the criticism and is quickly overcome by the self-defence reaction which is the ignition of fury.
Gbean, reading some of your posts, i see many similarities btwn your feelings towards your narc and my feelings towards my ex. I wish i weren’t so attracted to him. Damn!
The struggle is real most definitely. The attraction is ridiculous. Damn that magnetic pull, it really is maddening. He is 860 miles away yet I still feel it everyday.
Gbean, my ex and i are just friends. I haven’t seen him for almost one yr now. We usually text every wk or two wks. But i find myself missing him more and more these days. I didn’t miss him a few months ago. So why am i missing him now? Will i ever get over him? 😔
Jenna,
It’s been 3 months since I’ve seen him in person. 2 months since we texted/emailed/phone called. He pulled the whole “let’s be friends “nonsense with me too. But then he told me “if you love me you’ll back off and give me space, no just have to trust that I’ll reach out to you “. 🙄 And like a sucker that’s exactly what I did. This was before coming to this website, and knowing what he is. He hasn’t reached out since, and neither have I. I feel so pathetic, because I miss him all day, every day. So, you’re asking the wrong person. Because I still unfortunately miss him. All I can do I guess, is send you strength. Because I don’t have much of that right now. I Can definitely relate to how you’re feeling though.
Thank you Jenna. He lives far away as well. 860 miles away thankfully and I seem to be forgotten and not be on his radar. Fairly certain he’s either focusing on his wife again or my predecessor. Or someone else, I have no clue. He’s been non existent on social media which is odd.
HG, complimenting someone else is painful wounding to your ego, isn’t it? Your kind see it as a criticism, a rejection of your validation and that hurts like hell, doesn’t it?
🙋 My ex went through exposure in front of 7 pple. He went into major depression, isolation, memory loss, suicidal ideation, felt like a failure, was low on fuel etc.
I say with confidence that HG is the only Narc in my life that I engage with on a blog and he is the best at what he does. I can’t give this compliment to anyone else. At times I have to turn away from his truths. They are so raw and straight forward.
I look forward to watching the accomplishments of this bad but good man.
This is were it gets interesting for me; I’m sure I know what that pain feels like because I’ve felt something similar when in this situation on numerous occasions. The wound is like a stabbing pain quickly followed by intense anger. It’s as if the compliment of someone else passes over my efforts and I am being ignored.
Is that a fair description HG?
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Lol .. I so wish I could post a photo I have of him that someone took when I hugged another singer. Fury! I didn’t know about narcissism when I did that. He actually threw a fan’s CD that he was signing.
HG… You know you’re on my pedestal 😉 and I share your work on my blog to keep you on that 24K Virtual Pedestal…. please know that you are genuinely appreciated
Thank you Ms Brown.
Do you ever get bored with the fawning attention of postings here or your other social media? I know on one level, it feeds you, but on another level, don’t you ever desire to reach/meet someone who finds this kind of groveling beneath them? Or is that kind of sincerity just something you cannot fathom? I really would like to know.
You speak of your seductions, etc., but it all seems so flagrantly plastic and artificial. If you thought so highly of yourself, (and you seem to!) wouldn’t you desire someone who is a level above this type of behavior? Or is it just the game that interests you?
No i don’t get bored of them but I do not rely on them either.
Those who I engage with as IPPSs latterly are not those who grovel.
well yes…except that having been isolated, there is no one else to compliment in many situations…
You always have the best illustrations in combination with your amazing way with words. I love this one !
Thank you Stephanie.
HG, has it crossed your mind to write about zodiac signs?
It hasn’t Joanne, I do not believe in astrology (although of course I will do so if it confers an advantage in seducing someone). What were your thoughts in this regard?
If I complimented someone else my husband would find something negative to say about them. I finally got fed up with it one day and asked him why he ran everyone down that I said something nice about, he said he needed to knock them off the pedestal I put them on. I left him last year.
LA congratulations 🍷
So, a partner innocently compliments someone else and then the narcissist feels pain. So then during devaluation the narcissist constantly compliments others because they know from experience that it’s not a pleasant thing to do.
Then when confronted, gaslighting will be used.
Are you updating the blog logo pic to the same as the the facebook one? It looks brilliant.
There – I complimented you and not someone else.
Unless someone else designed it. Then I just pissed you off. Sorry about that.
Ha ha, no I will take the compliment, thank you.
I complimented his IPPS on passing an exam. He never asked how I knew. He never acknowledged my acknowledgementor of her achievement. Would this have wounded?
HG as an empath in the past prior to awakening I use to feel threatened a lot when people (family) mainly were always talking about how marvelous someone in family was. Felt it directed at me as I worthless and made me upset inside. Is it a similar feeling you get?
Yes, you gave attention to her and not him.
Yes it will be similar but the reaction is more of fury than of feeling worthless. The sense of worthlessness is wrapped up in the criticism and is quickly overcome by the self-defence reaction which is the ignition of fury.
Thank you again. So we seek each other out really. The 1 hrs a days working 😃
I was so attracted to him, i would never compliment someone else.
Same here, Jenna.
Gbean, reading some of your posts, i see many similarities btwn your feelings towards your narc and my feelings towards my ex. I wish i weren’t so attracted to him. Damn!
The struggle is real most definitely. The attraction is ridiculous. Damn that magnetic pull, it really is maddening. He is 860 miles away yet I still feel it everyday.
Gbean, my ex and i are just friends. I haven’t seen him for almost one yr now. We usually text every wk or two wks. But i find myself missing him more and more these days. I didn’t miss him a few months ago. So why am i missing him now? Will i ever get over him? 😔
Jenna,
It’s been 3 months since I’ve seen him in person. 2 months since we texted/emailed/phone called. He pulled the whole “let’s be friends “nonsense with me too. But then he told me “if you love me you’ll back off and give me space, no just have to trust that I’ll reach out to you “. 🙄 And like a sucker that’s exactly what I did. This was before coming to this website, and knowing what he is. He hasn’t reached out since, and neither have I. I feel so pathetic, because I miss him all day, every day. So, you’re asking the wrong person. Because I still unfortunately miss him. All I can do I guess, is send you strength. Because I don’t have much of that right now. I Can definitely relate to how you’re feeling though.
Gbean, i’m sending you strength as well. Also, keep reading here and HG’s books, and the knowledge will help us.
Thank you Jenna. He lives far away as well. 860 miles away thankfully and I seem to be forgotten and not be on his radar. Fairly certain he’s either focusing on his wife again or my predecessor. Or someone else, I have no clue. He’s been non existent on social media which is odd.
I forgot to mention he lives in a different state now.
I prefer the Silver Surfer to Torchman
HG, complimenting someone else is painful wounding to your ego, isn’t it? Your kind see it as a criticism, a rejection of your validation and that hurts like hell, doesn’t it?
Correct save that it doesn’t hurt like hell, but it certainly hurts.
MOrning HG. I am curious ” what does hurt like hell” ? Narcs just seem so hard
Passing a kidney stone I hear can be something of a bugger.
In Narc World, massive exposure is an utter bastard of major hurt.
🙋 My ex went through exposure in front of 7 pple. He went into major depression, isolation, memory loss, suicidal ideation, felt like a failure, was low on fuel etc.
Does the fury erupt only if the ipps is complimenting another man, or does it erupt even if she compliments a woman?
It will occur with both.
I say with confidence that HG is the only Narc in my life that I engage with on a blog and he is the best at what he does. I can’t give this compliment to anyone else. At times I have to turn away from his truths. They are so raw and straight forward.
I look forward to watching the accomplishments of this bad but good man.
Thank you Ah Oh.
This is were it gets interesting for me; I’m sure I know what that pain feels like because I’ve felt something similar when in this situation on numerous occasions. The wound is like a stabbing pain quickly followed by intense anger. It’s as if the compliment of someone else passes over my efforts and I am being ignored.
Is that a fair description HG?
There’s no stabbing pain but rather a sudden crushing sensation which is swiftly pushed to one side by fury.