You V Her – Let’s Triangulate
I have grown weary of the incumbent primary supply. The fuel that ought to be provided at a premium level has become diminished in quantity and quality. Whilst it still flows as part of the devaluation that continues, the time has come to audition for your replacement. I am courting you following my usual preparatory work once you have been targeted and I have now commenced your seduction. You are not alone. I am seducing someone else as well. It makes sense to have an insurance policy after all. You won’t know about this competitor (at least not yet) but believe me that when you are in the early stages of being seduced by our kind, it is highly likely that I was seducing someone else. In order to identify the best source of fuel so we choose the most effective primary source, we will set a number of tests. These tests are not so arduous that they will risk the seduction failing, but are designed to ascertain which of the two, or more, competing prospects provides the best fuel. This current performance amounts to a strong indicator of future performance. Here are ten of the tests that are commonly utilised.
- Sending the same text message to both prospects to see who responds the fastest.
- Sending the same text message to both prospects without concerns as to the speed of reply but as to which provides the best fuel-laden response.
- Arranging a date with both prospects and then cancelling (with a view to re-arranging of course) to determine who is the most disappointed and which of the prospects tries to keep the date alive by making adjustments and alternative suggestions.
- Calling both prospects in the middle of the night to see who answers.
- Sending the same gift at the same time to see who thanks us the fastest and in the most appreciative manner.
- If sexual coupling has occurred at this early juncture, then sleeping with you both in the space of 24 hours (or less) in order to determine who is the more fuel accomplished lover.
- Feigning a minor emergency and seeing who responds the fastest and with the greatest concern and compassion.
- Suggesting a date when I know that the prospects have something else on to see who will break their existing engagement in order to see me.
- Having a lieutenant try to arrange a date with you to see if you rebuff him and make mention of me.
- Holding a social media challenge to see how many likes, re-tweets, comments each prospect applies to my postings in a three-day period to see who posts the most and provides the most fuel.
Not only does this contest between the two prospects provide us with plenty of fuel coming from two fuel lines, it enables us to determine who we should focus our greater efforts on to ensure they are seduced and become our intimate partner and primary source. If the contest is too close to call after the ten tests above, then additional tests will be applied and the ten above will be re-run also. The winner becomes our intimate partner but the loser does not go home empty handed, not at all. They are likely to be awarded the status of inner or outer circle friend and they will be kept within our sphere of influence as a supplier of fuel. They also a future role to play in a prospective triangulation and there may even be a promotion in the offing at some point….
36 thoughts on “You V Her – Let’s Triangulate”
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Thank you, Watermelon and 12345. I’ve done considerable reading around NPD but I’m fairly new to HG’s blogs. I’m sure seeing my ‘relationship’ from a narc’s pov will help me in the long run. I still feel very wounded and confused by much of what Narcy said and did. I’m on a learning curve but I’m a willing pupil, thanks to HG and his invaluable blog.
Id say the loser got off lucky for the moment. I think triangulations a test too to see who tries harder and who sees thru the tactic and walks away. Ive run into this test and it does the opposite i lose interest. My hat goes off to the women who rise to the challenge and compete for the “prize”. It reminds me of that reality series the bachelor …smh 😄
Ah, when I ‘discovered’ the existence of the longstanding DLS. I now realise this was no coincidence and, though it pains me to admit, not down entirely to my tireless, perfectly executed, CSI style, detective work (phone tapping is not beyond this dog when I sniff a bone!) The response? If you walk out now you’re letting her win. Win? Win what?! Your kind really do believe you’re the trophy in your twisted game. We’re all winners on here, though 🙂
I am finding resources that bring the focus back to ourselves & off the Narc. It is excelorating my healing. Positive acceptance of my feelings, admitting they did what they did because they are a Narc and then saying “how do I use this to better myself, my life so this never happens again?” Takes away their power. The way out is through.
Very good, Victory, I agree. And I am exposing my self to a lot of positive motivational stuff now, too.
Only way to go, Victory. We come out of it better people because we learn about ourselves and grow through our healing. I now see the whole experience as a painful but necessary part of my being. It took me to a new level of me and for that I’m actually grateful.
The first time I read that I was shocked by your cold-bloodedness. Now, it’s just another piece of the puzzle.
In any case, this is a marvellous guide about what NOT to do!
Hi HG,
Wonderful to learn this-If I only knew. . . Is this test performed primarily by the Mid-Range and Upper?
Thanks,
Yes amongst others.
Just keep learning and reading. I swear to you that you are healing by learning. The more you learn the more the narc infection sheds your heart, body and soul. It’s like surgery with no anesthetic but it’s the only way to get well. I’m still sick, too, but I started out min the narcissistic intensive care unit when I found HG. Now I consider myself to be in a private room and looking forward to being discharged to heal more at home😂 I’m getting well.
12345
Good analogy.
👍
My sentiments exactly 12345. I thank HG and what he has done for us daily in my thoughts! Thank you HG!
Urgh… I feel nausea coming on. I recall his first text to me. It was a little odd, like something was off kilter. Now I understand I wasn’t the only one… And the phone calls at night… My hate for narcs gets worse.
HG, you provide us with an exceptional service and I value your knowledge but I’m unsure what how understanding this is supposed to help me. I’m so angry with Narcypants. Just so angry I’ve been fooled in such an underhand way. Sometimes, the more I learn, the less I feel I will heal…
I sometimes feel like the anger is what keeps us stuck. That and trying to decipher how and why they did the things they did. They are who they are, and we were ensnared.
Many years ago I dated a guy who was a bit of a bully (but so much better than the narc). I kept trying to fix it, if only I tried harder, grew my hair longer, was less moody, more tolerant…but it got me nowhere. One day it dawned on me that it really was his issues, and he liked me on edge and jumping through hoops. Once I stopped looking for the answers and the solution, I was able to let him go and move on.
Watermelon,
I can totally understand what you feel. Did you read Decipher? It was the book that got me started me healing and it was the first time that I learned what their cryptic messages meant. It led me to further reading of HG’s books but that book will remain one of my favorites-it opened the door for me to seek more knowledge and to this site.
All the best,
I got a text once that read, “Leaving now”. Hahaha. He lives in another country. What did I care when he was leaving. I was certain that he sent it to the wrong person. Someone said it was to me and intentional. But I believe it was a pure mistake and he sent it to some other victim which until then, he had been pretending he was “all alone and lonely”. I texted back, I think you got the female or something to that effect that implied, “Yeah, I got it, you are jerking me around.” He replied, “no, it was meant for you.” I just went “right, liar.” or something like that.
Well, Let me tell you what I did and you tell me if it was effective. One night, seething in a way that @12345 felt, seeing slowly the baiting posts he would send out even though I had unfriended him he knew I looked, I made a decision. I was going to contact anyone who he ever posted about and let them know who he really is. I was going to smear him anonymously and with the hope in a way, that it would in fact get back to him. And my goal was simple… to show him someone was watching and was going to rat him out in the hopes that he would be almost forced to stop using social media for those games. I do think I played a role in helping to destroy one such ‘relationship’. I saw they are no longer friends and all she does is post those telltale posts about trying to recover. You know what they look like, having lived through this. He no longer seems to use IG to advertize he conquests and bait. Nor does he much anyore on FB at least publicly. And I know someone who knows him and is FB friends, and she made an innocent comment once that all he posts anymore are about his business and politics.
So I sure as HOPE my plan worked. Destroy something he had, his little playground for finding victims. Cause it sure seemed that way.
And good for me… I stayed UTTERLY silent when he posted something bad that happened to him and didn’t say a thing when something good happened. No more fuel. I can see those who are consistent in respondiging to him, so maybe they are his next victims.
I think I remember you mentioned this before but I wanted to make sure.
Is there a point where you get annoyed at the IPPS for not realizing what is going on?
Do you mean becoming annoyed with the IPPS for failing to realise that she is being triangulated? If so, yes this would prove irritating because if she does not realise what is happening then of course she will not provide fuel as a consequence of the required reaction to the triangulation.
I mean over the long term, not realising there are manipulations taking place. Providing fuel, but not realising that something purposeful is taking place. Just being gullible all the time and believing everything.
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin 1… it’s a lieutenant’s date offer in the form of a hoover;
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin 2… it’s a ‘send to all’ text testing your fuel qualities;
Aaand Tudor’s Special Prize… a boat.
Pity you live on a council estate in a block of flats.
I got a text that clearly wasn’t meant for me (but another woman). I gave him plenty of fuel over it too. Looking back, it was definitely a set up.
Super smashing great
培
Oh dear ! …
same here, Sarah, and pics “accidentally” sent to me… didn’t realize it at the time, ALL intentional! gave spouting potent fuel…. NEVER ever again!
Pictures too? It’s strange how we process their behaviour at the time, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. It really is just a case of the empathy thinking everybody is loving and thinks the way that we do. We think everyone had the same upbringing and experiences that we had. I’m enjoying the knowledge here, as it helps us understand on a higher level.
In a way, it makes me feel like another abuser just ‘throwing them away’ (as I’ve kicked 2 narcissis from my life in the last 5 months – people i’d known for 8 years and 27 years) but I think people can live with it if they apply strategies that work. Unfortunately, unless the narcissist is willing to meet in the middle, it won’t work. They need the emotional fuel from the façade of it all.
Be greatful your off and aware of their kind. Eyes open from now on.
Can’t think like that 123, I know it’s hard but it’s what they do. Who ever is in the line of fire at the moment. It’s an endless rotation
This makes me sick. I much prefer your blog entries that make me laugh. I am positive all of these happened with me. I can only imagine he would look at me and think “you fool…you have no idea what’s going on” and I didn’t until I did. It was so in my face that there was no denying it. So humiliating.
Me too. It was such a sucker punch. 🙁
Excuse me, correction….
That “I” just dated, scratch the “we”.
Hi HG!
I believe we just dated lol that’s great stuff right there, love it!
Hi HG,
How do you select which articles to post? Do you spin the Tudor Wheel, draw a name from an elegant bowling hat, or does it depend on your mood? Thank you
I pluck some form the archives and write new ones in accordance with those which I want to advance.
Thank you HG. I know you’ll dazzle the panel tonight.
You’re like the little narc who lives in my phone…
Little narc?! I am the biggest of the best.
Ah, that was too easy! You’re Magnanimous!
Someone brilliant once wrote: “your contrition is swift and genuine. You are forgiven”….