Better Than The Rest
We regard ourselves as superior. Even a Victim Narcissist has a superior view of himself, he is special because of his illness and infirmity and this means that he should be treated better than everybody else. The Somatic Narcissist is better looking, physically fitter and has a tighter bottom than anyone else. The Cerebral Narcissist is cleverer, more intellectual, a brilliant advocate and has a brain the size of a planet and as for the Elite of us, well not only do we look great we are dazzling, witty, entertaining and knowledgeable, superior in every department to the likes of you. This lofty sense of ourselves is apparent all the time because we feel no need to hide our light under a bushel. Oh, we may attach some false modesty to some of our brags and boasts but it is only done to generate an ever more appreciative response from people around us. We like to remind people about our superiority repeatedly. It appears during seduction but you will naturally regard it as an attractive quality then, labelling it as confidence, a dynamic approach, someone who shows no fear and gets things done, an achiever, somebody successful and who doesn’t want to be associated with such a person. Accordingly, our superiority will be exhibited in plain sight but portrayed as good thing. It continues during devaluation as we repeatedly remind you that we are the master, you are the servant, we are in charge and you are not, we do and you are done to. Even when we hoover you we remain superior because someone who wants you back after the way you have behaved or someone who (falsely) recognises their own shortcomings must surely be superior mustn’t they? The unleashed smear campaign is another piece of our superiority. We are not smeared are we? We are impervious to it, nobody would dare do it and if they tried nobody would believe them because our innate superiority embodied in the façade that we have created. Every single step of your dance with our kind exudes our superiority. It is felt, seen, heard and witnessed, from the way we behave with you through to the way that we behave with others. It is natural to us and therefore should be expected. It is also necessary. If we are not superior to you, we cannot be in control. If we are not in control, then how can we keep you providing us with fuel? Our superiority is necessary. Our superiority is always evident. Here are twenty ways in which we demonstrate our superiority through the things we say.
- I don’t do domesticated
- I would never shop there. It is for the great unwashed.
- I wouldn’t expect you to understand what I am saying but you could at least try.
- Someone has to lead, someone has to make decisions.
- Don’t expect me to do something like that.
- Don’t be sorry, be accurate. Like me.
- I don’t have time for this.
- That isn’t something I would ever be found doing.
- People like me are above things like that.
- Yes, well it is about your level isn’t it?
- Don’t worry about it, how would you ever know that?
- These things are best left to people like me.
- It can be tough at the top you know.
- I don’t shovel shit.
- Do I look like a cleaner to you?
- I have more important things to do.
- This is minutiae and beneath me.
- Come back when you earn as much as I do.
- Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser.
- Do you know who I am?
20 thoughts on “Better Than The Rest”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I think one of the main reasons why I’m still angry about everything is because I have to face that each individual he was with is regarded as THE SAME DAMN APPLIANCE. They are all the same – this includes ME.
What it comes down to is that he will never recognize that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Could he even recognize that I was the most intelligent and the most attractive of all his ex girlfriends? Probably not.
I think that is what irritates me – we are all the same appliance. My ex will go to the next person who clearly will not be on my level but he is so dense that he won’t recognize or care.
Hi Dr. Q! I agree and that’s a hard pill to swallow that we blend in with all the appliances.
Hey Clarece!
It’s honestly infuriating and insulting.
We are better than that.
Dr. HQ,
Absolutely! When we are involved with them, at least during the golden periods and respites, they make us feel like we have something none of their past lovers have.
Mine actually was open about the fact that he was sexting others sometimes (and had sexting hundreds of women over twelve years). He said our relationship was closer than any he ever had online, that I wasn’t just replaceable, that he only still played with others because it added variety so that kept our playing fresh. He said he was open with me about it and we were close because we were honest and real with each other. All of this sounded reasonable and almost sweet in a way.
What sickens me is not only being an appliance, but once I started realize I was one, I STILL FELT SO LUCKY TO BE HIS FAVORITE TOY! The one he liked most! At some point he told me the reason he “loved” me was “Because you’re mine and you never tell me no.” So I knew to remain his favorite, I had to keep playing the game and not disappoint him, which was all fine and dandy, until his degrading fantasies escalated and got more over the top.
Hey Mary!
I can certainly relate to what you wrote. I hate to admit that my ex at first made me feel like I had something on his past girlfriends – especially sexually.
The fantasies continue to escalate. They just got increasingly more extreme. I considered myself pretty easy breezy experimental while in a relationship but my ex makes me seem vanilla lol.
Do you feel as though you have lost your sex drive after all of this? I feel like I’m about to sound like a Zoloft commercial lol.
Hi Dr. Q!
Interesting! I wouldn’t say I’ve lost my sex drive. I’m just afraid to use it at the moment! The act itself seems more and more about a power play and not at all involved with love.
Mary…
This damn golden period people speak of… lmao… I don’t even know what that is like!!
Golden period “activities” : so very, very, good
Yes, being conditioned to feel lucky to be the favorite toy out of the masses turning you into a competitor thinking you have to take their deviant requests as a challenge to stay on top. Always proving yourself. Believe me, sickening, and you mask it thinking it’s a twisted, erotic love.
In your case, your Narc did take vows to forsake all others to his wife, yet he’s bragging to you about sexting with hundreds of others with conditioning you to somehow accept the “variety” supplements what you two have?
There is nothing loving about that situation, at all. Keep telling yourself that.
HG,
For real though…LOL…here is some serious truth… 😉
I really just DON’T do domesticated.
I don’t have time for this.
This is minutiae and beneath me.
I have more important things to do.
Someone has to lead, someone has to make decisions.
In my defense I have low frustration tolerance and can’t tolerate tedious tasks lol.
HG,
This is an actual conversation I had with an ex during a fight recently. Does he seem narcissistic to you?
him: “Do you think I am stellar?”
me: “uummm….no?”
him: (he flips out yelling) “WHAT! ARE YOU ON MY TEAM!?”
me: ” Yes, of course I am…”
him: Answer me! I can’t hear you, say it louder! Why are you crying?
Stop crying and talk clearly. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life asking you what you just said.
This exchange is certainly indicative.
Hi Melissa,
This conversation no matter what is indicative of him being an A**hole, hands down. Which would you want to deal with that endlessly? You deserve better!
Tina Turner, one of my favorite celebrity survivor stories of abuse, rose above with power and grace! Simply the Best
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x292sh_tina-turner-simply-the-best_music
I would be bumping heads and locking horns, on a regular basis, if entangled with an Elite
Yes, it *looked* like confidence, inner strength, and I was attracted to that.
From my narc’s point of view, my intelligence was highly fluctuating, and directly related to my level of compliance! When I agreed with him, I was wise beyond my years and brilliant. When I disagreed with Mr. Know-It-All, I was too stupid to understand. Says a lot about his confidence.
My narcs extremely covert and has never let on he thinks hes better than anyone but he asserts superiority thru passive aggressive narc tactics. In fact theres been times he has corrected me on something ive said insinuating i think im better than others which i know is projection on some level.
I really seen his sense of superiority come out during the US elections. He loves trump and his narciness came out in spades. Im so glad that hype is somewhat over!
HG, you forgot “I don’t do windows” hahaha
well there you go… I left a “victim” that day dreamed about being elite but..it’s too much effort and would require him to *gasp* stop the self-sabotage… with a slight somatic tendency about “down there” (his man bits…) but could never qualify as somatic because he would have to be capable and that is also too much effort… who hated me for being smarter and more capable then he was and I think targeted me so he could try and use me to learn (but that did not work out so well…though I’m sure he did learn) and hate on me for all that I was that he was not… I have no clue if, nor do I really care, any of it was planned or not as again that does not change anything of what was done to me…
it does not change how it began with gaslighting and scape-goating and progressed to more abuse the more wounded he got.
My ex Cerebral husband said to me “well, you’re not completely stupid.” Believe it or not this was high praise from him and his way of saying I was smart.
When I would say something that he thought was stupid he recorded it in a file on his computer he kept called “Wendy blonde moments”. He’d show me it was there, but not let me read it. He got a ton of indignant fuel from that one. He’d pass this off as affectionate teasing.
When i got a promotion or raise he’d say “why didn’t you get a higher raise or better title.”
Such a dick.
But now I understand his why he did it.