Your World In My Eyes
I want you to look into my eyes and there you will find yourself. You will see everything that you have ever desired in my eyes. Every hope you have will shine from my eyes, everything you have every wanted will be visible to you. However, you will not look on the ordinary version of those things that you covet. You will see the enhanced variety, the shining and gleaming types of those things which you hold dear. I want you to stare deep into my eyes and focus on what you find there. Allow yourself to become absorbed by those deep pools of desire as you begin to lose yourself. It is only natural to want to fall into what you see, to let go of those constraints and inhibitions so that you become consumed totally by what you are looking upon. No harm can come of it for you are only staring at the very things which matter to you. Honesty, humility, humour and desire. Integrity, values and passion. Everything which you regard as a virtue can be seen in the world that I have created in my eyes. What you tell me, both directly and indirectly, will invariably come into your view within a matter of moments. It is like a far flung barren planet which has been discovered by intergalactic explorers who commence terraforming of the planet in order to make it habitable. Everything you want becomes a reality as they are formed in this world right before you. The interests you have appear; the places you enjoy visiting come into view and the events that you like to attend flare up. You are hypnotised as this wonderful world forms in my eyes, all generated by you although you are so taken by the process and what you see that you do not realise that all I am doing is taking the materials that you are furnishing me with and replicating all those things that you want to see. I am skilled in ensuring you tell me everything about yourself to add to all the preparatory work that I undertook before I made my move. Like ingredients in a particularly delicious cocktail I combine all of these things which matter to you and weave my magic to create a drink which you will never want to stop drinking. It is intoxicating and invigorating, an addictive concoction that once you have taken your first sip you will continue to draw deep on. You have no chance to escape because from the moment I cause you to look deep into my eyes I show you all the things that you want. I show you the world where you are queen, where nothing will ever hurt you, where your true worth has been recognised by me. This world is perfect. Everything is in its place and accords with your values. You ever stop to question how is it that I have been able to create this world so accurately and so brilliantly. You do not query how this creation is so magnificent because it is everything that you have always wanted. From the fairy tale existence you promised yourself as a young girl through to the correct treatment that you deserve as the decent person that you are, everything appears on this world which I have tailor made for you. It is captivating, mesmerising and alluring. You want this world more than anything you have ever known. You want to be absorbed by it and to fall deep into its fabric, cossetted by the security that it provides. Nothing goes wrong on this world, it is a clear utopia and best of all it is right there before you. All you need to do is maintain my gaze, letting yourself fall deep, deep into this marvellous world and everything will be alright. Everything will remain wonderful.
What you never realise is that this world will be consumed in an instance. In just one blink, this utopia will be obliterated and it will be as if it never existed. The dark inky pools that are the reality of these eyes will devour this created world, erasing it just as readily as a black hole consuming a planet. Once again the darkness will take hold and annihilate the fabrication which you held so dear. Even when this happens you will go on searching though. You will stare deep into my eyes, trying to find this world again amidst the ink-black darkness. There is no light that can shine any longer which may just happen to illuminate where this world has gone to. The darkness is absolute because it is the darkness that is the reality. Not that it will stop you trying. You will keep looking and searching, trying to find the perfect world once again, hoping for it to emerge into the light once again. You will keep trying and that is why we show you the world in our eyes.
43 thoughts on “Your World In My Eyes”
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I just had to smile. How many times did he listen to things he was not interested in? How many times did he do things he really hated only to seduce me? How many times did he drive my mother around and kept his mouth, although she demanded so much and was a nag? How many times did he offer to hoover my dining room! What a bad investment ! Seduction phase one year, up and downs one year, escaped third year. No good investment for him. The former IPPS stayed for over 20 years. Now I know why he discarded me in that harsh way. He was more than angry, that he could not control me better and that he could not take my soul and my money. He sold his soul and body for – nothing. He prostituted himself to seduce me and I was not the one! to feed him. Cheers for that delicious cocktail.
Thats why we pay so much more bc we “owe” them for their investment!
Narc affair, yes, that is true. I understand that much better now. I am not sure, but I believe, I could not distort / twist myself to such a high degree at the beginning of a relationship. Later I did twist myself for him, shameful enough for me to admit. Now I understand, why he complained about his former relationships, that he had to do this and that ….how they abused him… No, the truth is between. He did all what they wanted for positive fuel. And then he was disappointed….because that kind of fuel became stale. He felt betrayed.
Hahaha Mona! I made him take me to Disneyland a bit over a year ago. I know he hated it. It makes squeal like a pig when I think about how much he must have hated it. He also paid, and I picked an expensive hotel 🙂
That look into my eyes was unforgettable. I remember forgetting where I was. There seemed to be no one else around us. After walking away and looking back at him, I saw he was having words with one of the others with an angry look on his face. I had gone to him third instead of first and one of the others had touched my necklace and called it his favorite color. Could he have been jealous of that,?
Absolutely.
I thought so. After that day, he refused to be in a group for meet and greet. Then he left his association with those guys.
I have a question HG.. *puts hand up* Does this mean our downfall is predetermined? During my golden period I was told ‘I could break you so easily’ That’s the part I struggle to accept, a person wanting to destroy another human being for their own amusement, bearing in mind this was said within the first month, I think it was, and my golden period lasted a year and a half roughly I was hooked deep when devaluation started it was like a nuclear bomb hit me, and now looking back on those words it feels impossible to accept the reality of what really happened. If I’m not able to accept it or I refuse to what does that mean for me?
Lovely article HG you sure do paint a picture with your words.. 🌹
Thank you Some One. It is not pre-determined in the sense that with most engagements we do not set out to bring you down (there are rare instances where this is done – take my ensnarement of Lesley for example) but usually we target you in the hope that you will be the one. It is however inevitable that you end up being devalued when you are the IPPS for reasons which I have explained. IN your instance, this comment was made for the purposes of trying to impress you and test your reaction to ascertain how under control you were.
If you refuse to accept that what was once golden can become tarnished, you are not alone. What it means is that your are being conned by your emotional thinking and you will remain highly susceptible to being hoovered.
When someone says “we have so much in common” my radar goes on high alert. From this point on, I watch even closer for more signs of mirroring.
Talking of voice, if you just change the word look or eyes to the word voice, it would be another true article.
“Like ingredients in a particularly delicious cocktail I combine all of these things which matter to you and weave my magic to create a drink which you will never want to stop drinking. It is intoxicating and invigorating, an addictive concoction that once you have taken your first sip you will continue to draw deep on.”
Yep!!!! The truth of how I feel about it and my struggle. “Utterly” the truth!
Yes, Tiny Dancer. The eye lock was what really got me. And I’ll never forget it either. Excellent piece, HG. Quite chilling in its accuracy.
The eye lock I remember was the day we met, in a huge crowd of people. We were talking for awhile, and he kept commenting on my eyes. I asked him to take his sunglasses off so I could see his eyes finally. Sound drowned out, and it was like the Earth stopped spinning on its axis momentarily. But his eyes were full of sparkle that day, targeting me and that was the start of being under the spell.
He’s been in contact this weekend. Out of curiosity, I asked him what it is he remembers most about me. He said my big eyes always looking up at him. (He’s tall, I’m short). Now I know that answer has no sentimental value. It’s all about the fuel pouring out of me for him to devour. It’s interesting understanding his answers from a different perspective.
My “Mr Piano recital during church” Narc used that whole “eye” thing on me too! “Good grief Gabrielle” ( he frequently said good grief), your eyes are so unbelievably beautiful and captivating…” blah blah blah and i’m sure the word “utterly” was used once in a while too.
They must read this stuff from some kind of narc textbook.
My ass was commented on too but in the slightly more “demeaning” way. ( although at the time I didn’t really find it to be demeaning) “Damn that dress is hot, come sit on my lap and ride me”
Mr Romantic to Mr Carnal in seconds. Mr Piano Recital during church.
Well, he’s still a human male after all. I’m sure he was attracted to those physical attributes that you have so don’t let your confidence suffer over that!
Clarece,
Narcs are actually attracted to physical attributes? I thought everything was just for fuel and that’s what the attraction was? He used to tell me I was brilliant too and that he “loved” my mind and found it fascinating. But then it always turned sexual. Maybe he was a sex addict? Can they be sex addicts too?
Sex addiction is a part of the narcissistic construct, it is the addiction to using sex to gain fuel.
Makes sense I guess. He has had many partners. I recall a time when I asked why he had such casual sex with so many people and his comment was “it is how I show my affection”. Hmmm interesting. Most people do that with a hug, a pat on the back or a cheek kiss. But yeah let’s just have sex with everyone to show our affection. Spoken like a sex addict in my opinion.
Sorry I hit send too soon…..I had another follow up question….does your kind actually find others attractive or feel physical attraction to others in regard to sex? Or is it all pretty much done just for “fuel”?
It is for fuel, but the physical reaction is there also. See Sex and the Narcissist.
Fantastic post.
That is certainly a movie in the making …a cross between the scene with Kurt Russell & Chris Pratt in Guardians 2 & the soft lullaby song of “trust in me” by the snake in the movie jungle book.
Your ability to create such visuals allow for minds like mine to see the fabrications coming. Anything that seems too good to be true …usually is.
And if I remain on seeking to be content then im not on a quest to find anything external to “make” me happy.
The desire then to drink the elixir, to bite into the poison apple is abdicated.
Free at last, free at last….thank God Almighty I’m free at last!!!!
DearHG
What is the reason that one day you decide to stop to build the unreal beautiful world?
My world was gone; it never existed. It was a look of pure evil. I stood there thinking: I am living with the fucking Devil. Who invited him in? And where did my boyfriend go? I ate, lived, slept and had a child with a demon. It is incomprehensible.
It really is soul shocking to see what lives behind the mask.
Tiny Dancer
I will never ever forget it!
It’s spooky terrifying that the one moment that will forever be frozen/seared in my mind is an eye lock unlike any other. It’s the moment I returned to again and again and again and again through every devaluation cycle to prove to myself she loved me more than anyone else had ever loved me. I hate to say it but that moment will stay with me forever. It was like being struck by lightening, being killed and resurrected all at once.
I know what that feels like… looking for confirmation that it’s worth it all. To break the spell, you have to search within, WHY you give her such power over you, what the root causes are.
Deep down, I have always known why, it was just too painful for me to even think about it. The experience with my narc was the catalyst for change… to re-open old wounds, to bear the pain, to accept, to give myself closure. It is the only way forward!
Yes, you’re right. I am working with a therapist to heal the parts of myself that are attracted to the idea that someone else is the answer. There was so much I overlooked to keep that feeling as the only one that could be true.
Good for you, Tiny Dancer. In time you will laugh about her pathetic ways, as you can see through her, no matter what she throws at you. 🙂
Did yours have the sugar coated voice at one point?
Her voice can change to be more compelling at times than others. Not exactly sugar coated as that’s not really her. She’s alpha to the extreme.
It’s scary how accurate this is! I do have a question (surprise). If the narcissist was actually upfront about his or her character traits(promiscuity, superiority,being unaccountable, etc) wouldn’t that show more superiority? It seems it would be more fuel inducing that one is able to ensnare others with them knowing their actions than through having to deceive. This forum is an excellent example of that, we know what you are and some of what you have done and yet people still find you charming and interesting.
I have no doubt he is charming to get what he wants. As for interesting, he is that but only because we know no other like this but we are safe as not in close proximity. I know for sure, this man of sorts, I would not be within a few miles of him in reality. I thank HG (Higher God) for all he does, but remember he is not doing this for you or us, but for himself. I will be interested to read his answer to your question as I know he thinks some of us think of him in a romantic way, but for sure, that is not me. No offense meant.
Thanks for responding! I mentioned those qualities to say that those qualities are enough that some make overlook the negatives. I escaped my ex over a year ago, so I do not follow this blog solely for the subject matter, but the writing style.
His charm for me is the world play and quick wit I see in the comment section. I realize that he has his own selfish agenda but I do find his delivery intriguing unlike some others who write about narcissism(Sam Vankin). I don’t have any romantic interest either but I can appreciate that he is an excellent orator and is a great writer. I think this is a natural skill that he would possess despite his narcissism.
I do agree, if I knew him in real life I would run away…fast lol
I never saw anything behind his eyes…ever. I mean yeah sure the looks would alternate between reptilian and lifeless.
I thought at first he was maybe mysterious and I simply had to dig for more depth.
As time rolled on by…I found myself continuing to dig for something that wasn’t there.
There was seriously nothing there.
The man was vapid.
There was nothing behind my first psychopaths eyes either. I would always get so confused because I would look at him and his eyes were like empty and lifeless. Honestly, I don’t recall there ever being intensity or… well…anything behind them.
“the darkness is absolute” That is so powerful Mr. Tudor. Thank you as always for keeping it nothing but real.
You are welcome.
Okay so I appreciate my question is not related to the purpose of this article but I’ll ask it anyway.
I’ve noticed a few people recently who have completely ‘dead eyes’, they seem happy enough and are not currently showing n traits nor are they zombie like, as if they’ve just escaped one of your kind.
So are all people with dead eyes Ns ? Or can others have these dead eyes HG ?
This is painful to read. How could I be so blind..
Thank you for helping us, HG.
Interesting