Little Acons – No .4
A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child result in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.
14 thoughts on “Little Acons – No .4”
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I just found your blog yesterday and I must say, it is fascinating to read your perspective. I read through the night, and got precious little sleep because of it. I imagine that makes you feel good, and I guess it should. Whatever your reasoning for shedding light on narcissism, it is appreciated. As an empath, it is quite difficult to wrap my mind around…well, your mind.
Having recently been discarded, I have spent much time combing articles about relationships under the assumption that I was at fault. My ex is a recovering alcoholic, always claiming what a selfish disease it is, giving him a convenient excuse to do as he pleases without being questioned. I didn’t realize until weeks of reading that he is in fact, a narcissist. To what degree, at what level, I’m not sure; but without a doubt is one of your kind. He even proclaimed himself to be an egotist and an asshole. Red flags, I’m sure. Naturally, I wanted to be his diamond in the rough…the one that truly mattered to him.
Realizing that he never actually loved me was ridiculously painful, but he shared enough with me that I understand the source. Though he told me several times that I could not and would not ever change him, I never had the intention of doing so. Without realizing that he was a narc, I merely tried to respect and understand him and asked him to do the same. I am not angry with him, and although I want nothing more to do with him (at least I tell myself that…and I feel certain that he will never hoover me), I do hope that he will find happiness somehow.
Is it possible? The source of his narcissistic issues is his father, for whom he was never good enough – no matter what level of success he has achieved. If the relationship between his father and himself were to be resolved (father taking responsibility, saying he is proud of his son, etc), is there hope that he could overcome some of the narcissism? I do worry about how he is affecting his own children (from a former relationship). I realize that I can’t help them, but I care deeply for them. Is there hope?
Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my comments and questions!
Hello Banlaoch and welcome. No, we do not do happiness. He may find some kind of catharsis from resolving issues with his father (assuming they are capable of that) but that will not make him happy nor will it alter how he is, it is too late for that to be addressed by resolution alone with his father.
Interesting, that you do not show Matrinarc, but a fathernarc. Do you start to realise that both parents were ill concerning their behaviour to you? Maybe you had to idealise one parent and to devalue the other one , otherwise it would have been too much devastating for you. Maybe I only project my own experience. Many years I idealised my mother and blamed my father. No, it is different. I see the faults of both.
Hi HG,
I don’t understand how any parent can say that to their child? What is the reason a parent would utter those words-are they angry at their child or are they trying to guilt the child to be better at all endeavors?
This really made me cringe.
I can’t wait to read Matrinarc! Are any new publications coming out soon HG?
Thanks 🙂
There will be, recent professional commitments have slowed production.
The reason, Victoria? Well, I did overhear my father once talking to a friend. He smugly stated that strategically taking away his approval allowed him to discipline without ever raising a hand to us.
My mother would simply say that she is disappointed because I am disappointing her. As always.
Thank you June 🙂
HG
You almost have 5 million hits and it could get very busy with the comments. So I was thinking, you may want to consider hiring a staff to help you. Similar to a call center. And you might want to hire empaths only because you can’t trust a narcissist as far as you can throw ’em. There is always the possibility of a narcissist suing for discrimination (fuel & control) but I think you could handle that easily enough with your brilliance and Devil’s Tool Kit.
Call 1-800-ULETMEDOWN and stay on the line, someone will listen to you shortly.
Awww, show matrinarc your blog and how many followers you have, when and if you are ready. She may finally realize that SHE let YOU down.
It can never be said, but it can be felt.
But how many if these children become narcissists themselves? I have first hand knowledge that at least one out of two become narcissists or at least have narcissistic tendencies.
Oops my above statement was in a narc relationship.
In regards to a narc parent we let them down too even the golden children let them down but they never let the scapegoat see that bc itd ruin good triangulation. You can never live up to their expectations!
Now now no need to be that way lol narcs let themselves down! They self sabatoge their relationships every time!