Thank you Narc Affair. Its so nice to have support from people that get it….Yes I have alot of anger but once the answer is gone I’m alone inside my head again and that is where I fail
It’s absurd. Our relationship is unique. Ive know about his supplemtry sources for years. He knows if he ditches me for another source I’ll be pissed but I’ll get over it. But he knows if he lies it’ll set me off. He says he lies to avoid conflict but I believe he has learned that the lies are the last form of manipulation that works on me.
I always say I want to conquer him and I do. He is at a most vulnerable time in his life right now. I’ve never seen him so needy. It’s borderline pathetic. If I walked away I think it would break him and I want to be the one that does the breaking. No other source is going to get that privledge. It has to be me! I’ve put up with too much…I just don’t want to break myself in the process.
The lies are the worst. I can handle all of it but the lies. We spent most of the holiday weekend together. I thought it went really well. We made plans for this evening. He called last minute and said his daughter was coming over. I told him I didn’t believe him (he’s been busted in many lies so he expects me to call him out). He said he will send pics…no pics yet…I may try this NC thing. I’ve read the book and also the exorsism book…I just have to take that last step. Im just so tired…I hate him
Mercy…i can relate! Itll only get worse bc the longer you stay the more youre letting them know youll put up with in the form of lies and abuse. Use your anger to go and stay NC.
For the sake of all that is holy…please try this “no contact thing”. They are great manipulators and lying is a part of their fabric.
You will never get the pictures instead expect the following:
Deflection
Blameshifting
Future Faking
Silent Treatment
Denial
Word Salad
Confusion
And lies amd more lies. Do your self a favor try no contact. I only wish i could gift it to you..
The thing that drives me mad is that he will lie, call me jealous and crazy because I don’t believe him. All of those things you listed will go on for days and then when things have calmed down and I’m over it he will tell the truth. I get mad, I’m crazy and jealous again blah blah…rinse repeat.
So I may not be ready for NC but he’s getting the silent treatment from me. It’s the best I can do right now to stop the madness.
Yes, you said so. He lies to himself so much. When I told others about him, they said: “What a little sausage!” I had the luck that so many people believed me, although I told them absurd things. And I did not use one single lie! He could not buy them with “advantages” and of course – lies. And my reputation was too good. He was such a big disappointment for me.
Hard evidence shows it from your perspective but not form his. His perspective means that when you show this ‘hard evidence’ the way he is configured automatically causes him to reject it by either outright denial, deflection and projection and so on. It is an instinctive response which occurs as soon as it is presented by way of a self-defence mechanism.
So if a narcissist doesn’t automatically deny, but instead responds with seemingly well reasoned argument, is he more likely to be a greater? The greaters I have known seem to actually enjoy the debate. Even if it’s obvious to all that you are right and they are wrong. That just ups the challenge! They have such confidence in their own ability to twist words and influence people. It seems like playing a game for them.
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Haha. You can lie to me all you want if youre wearing that mask and kneeling before me. I wont be listening.
😝
Thank you Narc Affair. Its so nice to have support from people that get it….Yes I have alot of anger but once the answer is gone I’m alone inside my head again and that is where I fail
It’s absurd. Our relationship is unique. Ive know about his supplemtry sources for years. He knows if he ditches me for another source I’ll be pissed but I’ll get over it. But he knows if he lies it’ll set me off. He says he lies to avoid conflict but I believe he has learned that the lies are the last form of manipulation that works on me.
I always say I want to conquer him and I do. He is at a most vulnerable time in his life right now. I’ve never seen him so needy. It’s borderline pathetic. If I walked away I think it would break him and I want to be the one that does the breaking. No other source is going to get that privledge. It has to be me! I’ve put up with too much…I just don’t want to break myself in the process.
The lies are the worst. I can handle all of it but the lies. We spent most of the holiday weekend together. I thought it went really well. We made plans for this evening. He called last minute and said his daughter was coming over. I told him I didn’t believe him (he’s been busted in many lies so he expects me to call him out). He said he will send pics…no pics yet…I may try this NC thing. I’ve read the book and also the exorsism book…I just have to take that last step. Im just so tired…I hate him
Mercy…i can relate! Itll only get worse bc the longer you stay the more youre letting them know youll put up with in the form of lies and abuse. Use your anger to go and stay NC.
Mercy
For the sake of all that is holy…please try this “no contact thing”. They are great manipulators and lying is a part of their fabric.
You will never get the pictures instead expect the following:
Deflection
Blameshifting
Future Faking
Silent Treatment
Denial
Word Salad
Confusion
And lies amd more lies. Do your self a favor try no contact. I only wish i could gift it to you..
Thanks Yolo, you are right the pics never came and all of those things you listed minus the silent treatment happened.
The thing that drives me mad is that he will lie, call me jealous and crazy because I don’t believe him. All of those things you listed will go on for days and then when things have calmed down and I’m over it he will tell the truth. I get mad, I’m crazy and jealous again blah blah…rinse repeat.
So I may not be ready for NC but he’s getting the silent treatment from me. It’s the best I can do right now to stop the madness.
If their mouth is moving they are lying. I told them, I would not believe them if their tongues came notarized.
The mid and the lesser both hated when I confronted them on their lies.
Yes, you said so. He lies to himself so much. When I told others about him, they said: “What a little sausage!” I had the luck that so many people believed me, although I told them absurd things. And I did not use one single lie! He could not buy them with “advantages” and of course – lies. And my reputation was too good. He was such a big disappointment for me.
Yep. Don’t believe a word the Narc says. It’s all lies.
my most recent huz (midranger) had a mask like this and i threw it out
The fabric of narcissism is lies. The narc lies to themselves and everyone around them.
Very good HG, and so true.
Thank you.
Why was my mid-ranger so upset that I did not believe him any more?
Because he believes he is telling the truth owing to his different perspective and your lack of belief in him undermines his sense of importance.
Thank you!
How can he believe that when there are hard evidences against what he is saying?
Hard evidence shows it from your perspective but not form his. His perspective means that when you show this ‘hard evidence’ the way he is configured automatically causes him to reject it by either outright denial, deflection and projection and so on. It is an instinctive response which occurs as soon as it is presented by way of a self-defence mechanism.
So it’s like Pavlov’s dog when it comes to denying to truth… Thank you for clarifying it.
So if a narcissist doesn’t automatically deny, but instead responds with seemingly well reasoned argument, is he more likely to be a greater? The greaters I have known seem to actually enjoy the debate. Even if it’s obvious to all that you are right and they are wrong. That just ups the challenge! They have such confidence in their own ability to twist words and influence people. It seems like playing a game for them.
Essentially that is correct WS2.