Little Acons – No. 15
16 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 15”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Dear Mr Tudor,
I was required to make an “appointment” to visit! If not, I was met with tight pursed lips and hostility for the whole visit.
Always walked on egg shells!
Thankyou, as always
Ugh, narc #2/psychopath bears a faint resemblance to this meme. One saying I remember well, “There is only one rule in this house. It’s my house and I make the rules.”
It is their house even when its not their house. Lol
I was about to have a major rant about how actually it is my house my rules but then I realised I was looking at it form a totally different perspective.
Yes – I expect my grown son so adhere to certain rules when he lives at my house (keeping his own room tidy, cleaning up after himself, helping out with the chores – stuff a normal parent would expect) but I realise you mean something quite different by this HG.
This meme brings up much resentment for me. God knows how many times I heard this from my mother. I never could understand why it was not my house too. I would argue things like, “Ive lived here my whole life, you’ve lived many places. It’s really more my house than yours” which would make her livid.
I think she understood she would lose much power when I moved out. So when I was preparing to run off and get married at 16, she reworked an outbuilding into a free apartment for me. While that let her keep her claws in, it was probably a very good thing for me and my future. It’s awfully difficult to be successful getting married that young, especially with both people college bound.
Now I’m sure she was really thinking of herself and her façade, but it still benefited me. Sometimes I need to remind myself that she wasn’t really evil. The pain she caused came from her own fears and lack of empathy.
I really understand that such a childhood causes a lot of damage to the soul of a child. But I will never understand, why you continue the same mistakes. You are now aware of parts of your childhood and you still believe it is the right way to live. But that is only my projection, if I am honest. I am a little bit angry about myself, because I just continued the same mistake as usual yesterday. If there is a crisis, I do the same what I did in childhood. It is infuriating, that we always do the same, although we know it is wrong, unhealthy and not productive for our own welfare..
At least I know what was wrong.
Was it ever. I have such a long heartbreaking story about how it was their house that I read this meme and cannot decide if I should cry, rage or just realize that they were bad at parenting and are uneducated in that respect. I feel proud of myself for not being like them. How I have grown past them emotionally. How I did not do what they did and how I’m better than them for not repeating their mistakes. I don’t have to play games with them anymore. I have nothing to prove to them. Revenge is not acknowledging them at all. My do that hate that. Eventually it becomes easy to do. Keep writing HG. I’ll keep reading and hoping you really are practicing what you preach in your own life. (There’s some depeche mode for you in there somewhere).
Oh, she loved saying those words exactly. Had to leave her house still pretty young to scape her mind fuckery. My sisters stayed.
She once told me she could control my sisters but not me. She was manipulating me with this but there was some true in it. I have always been the most rebel. My sisters seem to hate me for that too.
However, her mind-fuckery stayed with me a long time even if I were far away from her.
You will abide by my rules as long as you are in my house. This is my house and you are nothing.
HG, My ex narc of 5 yrs gave me the super-uber hoover yesterday!
(no doubt the malign type hoovers will be on the horizon…)
(I’ve been no contact for 4 weeks) with the exception of email for the reason of trying to get my belongings. Crying and snotty nosed out my living room window screen. AND I vidoed it!!!!! hahahahaha
(he is not allowed in my home. and… this was super hoover #4!!!!) Promising (future faking) marriage, while he triangulated me with his “other true love” adopting (future faking) my daughter, buying a beautiful huge home (More future faking) for us and my daughter etc… taking care of all expenses… blah blah fucking blah…. and just an hour ago promising words of contrition, change, LOVE, etc…. and then the mask BLEW off. WOW! Thank you HG for showing me the way across the emotion ocean, to the shore, and how to build my tower. I’m now beyond my tower. Way beyond. I’ve been reading your blogs, watching your youtube videos, participated in the live broadcast on July 2, read your books – Fury, Escape, Revenge. I’m onto revenge with wih my gal pals. Looking so forward to having a blast! I will be very careful and diligent here. For I will be blasting the shit out of him, for I am a super-nova! 🙂
Thank you HG… Truely. xoxox
PS: I LOVE being a super-nova!!! 🙂 He never saw it coming!!!!
You are welcome, Peaceful.
My house my rules! I had my mother say this a lot but i always did respect the rules. She used it to threaten me with charging me rent while i attended university if i didnt go along with her demands. I cleaned the house, did laundry, yardwork among many things. I couldnt move out fast enough. The threats really stressed me out at a time i needed to have calm. After i moved out she tried exerting even more control but had none. Once i moved out she lost a big chunk of control.
Meant to add my golden child brother was never taught how to clean up after himself not even after making a sandwich. He never did cleaning of any sort, no laundry and never learned to cook. He was a total slob growing up. I got tired of picking up after him and left his messes.
Hello HG! I really enjoyed your last live Q & A….you were brilliant as always! I do have a question regarding your response to the question, “Does a Mid Range love his/her children”. You responded that they think they do, but in reality, they don’t. Can you please explain this further? I’m trying to wrap my mind around your comment. For me, if I think I love someone, it means I do feel that emotion towards that person to some degree or another. I know a MR personally, and he seems to genuinely love his daughter due to his actions…not just his words. He actually seems very proud of her, even though quite honestly, there’s really nothing about her worthy of that at all, but that’s beside the point. I have posted this type of question in the past, but received no response….which is fine, of course! You can’t answer everyone.
Another question is, why are MR’s so prone to pedophilia and incest? Why? This particular MR actually spent over 2 years in jail for Carnal Knowledge of a Juvenile…that was almost 20 years ago. I don’t believe at all that he had an incestuous relationship with his daughter…I truly don’t. It certainly wasn’t the charge against him for his arrest. I do not know if he was sexually abused as a child, but I highly suspect it…no knowledge or proof, though…so can’t base his behavior on that.
My last question. This MR that I know is 64 years old….he stays very fit and is very active. He does not appear to me to be the cheating kind. We are not in a formal relationship presently….we were originally…but I can text him or call him at any time of the day or night and he is always quick to answer…always available…and can talk and text for lengthy periods of time. I’m the one who exited the relationship after 2 months because I saw through the love bombing, among other red flags…that was this past January. I know he would like to resume the formal relationship, however. Could it be at all possible that he is not into infidelity? Possibly because he is older now? He was married when he had consensual relations with a minor…..naturally, they divorced!
He doesn’t know that I know about the arrest. That particular situation is the main reason I cannot be in a relationship with him, more so than his general narcissistic behavior. He’s pretty much on the mild side….a 100% NPD, but not overly difficult to tolerate, especially when you know what the real deal is. It takes the sting off of a lot of things because you don’t take it personally. I was married to a NPD for 16 years….I know the in’s and out’s for sure! I apologize for this being so long. A response to my questions would be so very appreciated. Thank you for investing so much of yourself and your time educating us narc magnets..it means so very much….your motivation is irrelevant. I think you like being helpful more than you let on, tho….;~)
Aye, one of patrinarcs favourite quotes, along with: This is my chair, This is my car, This is my garden, and even, Your stuff, is my stuff – you own nothing. To prove the point he’d throw out our personal stuff when we were at school or work.
I was booted when I turned 18… moved as far south and west as i could go 🇺🇸🇲🇽 Never looked back