it was an IDEA and it would work… it would have to be implemented in a humane yet effective manner…. it is easier to apply for and get a license to carry a deadly weapon, yet anyone of sexually developed age can mate like uncivilized animals and create offspring with no regulations or license? That is whats wrong with the human world and also the cause of the failing of our Earth. There’s too many humans (parasites) upon it and it can not continue to sustain.I do not have the deets how it would work and whom would decide and regulate as that is not my expertise… perhaps someone like HG, yes?
My mother never said she loved me. At least I do not remember her saying it. I was never good enough for her. Everything was just provocation, devaluation, ridiculization, etc.
There was a phrase she used to say when we were little and she was busy with herself: “Your absence is my joy”. She said it very elegantly and we knew we had to leave her alone.
No wonder I wanted to disappear so she could be happier.
C
I see your point in this, yet who would regulate and decide what behaviors dictate this privilege?
Do you believe there may be another solution to this issue?
yes do have ideas, they are quite radical, but it would work. however it will never happen in my life time. it would be government regulated… it would involve mandatory (reversible) sterilization upon puberty for males and females and applying for a license to meet certain criteria and then be approved or not to reverse sterilization for purposes of procreation…. Extreme, I know, however it would address a lot of issues, including NPD applicants
I understand. The idea is intriguing, and I can see why this could be a option, it is handing over more control over people’s lives to the government……that thou I see as a problem in the long run. IMO
I think if there was such a policy, a lot of us here on this site would have never been born. And most of us with children we adore. who fill our lives with joy and meaning would have been forbidden the joys and comforts of these children and grandchildren by government sterilization.
Fear thou can cause many to start down paths that they have good intentions, yet in the long run be devastating.
There are those that will pick up on this and use it for control, if it suits their needs.
Think about what the government has done to control things? They are very good at keeping most people’s eyes on what the right hand is doing while the left is doing what is needed to accomplish their desires.
Emotional thinking will always keep people in the herd mentally. Learning to control it and see things logical helps.
Twilight
True. Much evil is done as the result of good intentions. And I have no doubt if there was a sterilization policy to prevent narcs from having children, it would end up quickly being run by narcissists!! There’d just be too much power and control available. It’s draw them like flies to honey. 😝
Windstorm2
The government is already ran by narcissist, so ending up, no it will already be in their hands.
This is no different the genetic modification, it is picking and choosing what one desires. Empaths are not exempt from this either. Discover the root cause will lead to a solution. Not eradicating the issues.
Sadly when one starts to mess with nature, things become a nightmare.
It’s harder to get a divorce than to marry and have children. But then again, our government would be the one’s to determine if we are fit to marry and have children so that’s no help.
That is so sad Lou. I am sorry for your childhood, you deserved to be treasured and loved!!
My mother sometimes “joked” that she should have flushed me and my brother when she had the chance. She had lots of “jokes” and flew into horribly frightening rages as well. I don’t remember her ever saying she loved us either and I was always aware that my existence was begrudgingly tolerated. She also allowed our step father to abuse us mentally and physically for many years.
She gets obviously uncomfortable when I tell her I love her or hug her but seems to have no difficulty being loving towards my children who absolutely adore her!?? I do not understand that but I’ll take it lol. I will say though that she seems much happier and easier to get along with in her older age now.
I came to find Mr. Tudor because of my devastation over 2 Ex Narcs and realized that my father and step father are Narcs and my mother also has some traits! What a clusterfuck!
Patricia
My mother was the same in many ways. I can’t recall her ever saying she loved me, and she never hugged me. But she loved my kids, told them so and hugged them often. I never understood it either!
However she never changed in her bitter, sarcastic treatment of me or any other aspect of her narcissism – only towards her grandchildren.
Thanks, Patricia, for your kind words.
My mother seems to be nicer to her grandchildren too.
I found Mr Tudor because of my mother and found out my sister is a narc too!
A favorite of my monster to which I would reply “I don’t love you or like you”. I’d be devastated by her comment but I never wanted her to have the pleasure of thinking she defeated me.
I try to read these objectively sometimes. Parents are human and will have thoughts like I don’t like you right now or you only call when you need something or you never call me. But those are things that even if true should never, no matter the age of the child, be said to them. The ONLY motive in doing so is to make them feel shame and guilt. If you want to have healthy boundaries then make them but don’t dole out manipulative shame based statements like these.
Kids aren’t stupid. They know what you’re doing. Just like we know what ours parents are doing/did.
I think the difference is in the second part. Non-narc parents say, I love you, but I don’t like what you’re doing right now – not that they don’t like you, but they don’t like your current behavior. A narc twists this to confuse you and make you doubt they really love you at all.
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And it does already in certain health organisations. Just my personal belief, but some things just don’t make sense.
Maybe Soilent Green was also written by one of your kind.
Great idea C like in 1984 or was it Brave New World? Like China does? Like it was done in other totalitarian systems? And who is to decide?
Why, my kind of course.
Lol all for a great good 😀
it was an IDEA and it would work… it would have to be implemented in a humane yet effective manner…. it is easier to apply for and get a license to carry a deadly weapon, yet anyone of sexually developed age can mate like uncivilized animals and create offspring with no regulations or license? That is whats wrong with the human world and also the cause of the failing of our Earth. There’s too many humans (parasites) upon it and it can not continue to sustain.I do not have the deets how it would work and whom would decide and regulate as that is not my expertise… perhaps someone like HG, yes?
That’s exactly how the narc made me feel.
My mother never said she loved me. At least I do not remember her saying it. I was never good enough for her. Everything was just provocation, devaluation, ridiculization, etc.
There was a phrase she used to say when we were little and she was busy with herself: “Your absence is my joy”. She said it very elegantly and we knew we had to leave her alone.
No wonder I wanted to disappear so she could be happier.
I do not understand why people are allowed to have children sometimes…. too bad it can’t be regulated and an EARNED privilege….
C
I see your point in this, yet who would regulate and decide what behaviors dictate this privilege?
Do you believe there may be another solution to this issue?
yes do have ideas, they are quite radical, but it would work. however it will never happen in my life time. it would be government regulated… it would involve mandatory (reversible) sterilization upon puberty for males and females and applying for a license to meet certain criteria and then be approved or not to reverse sterilization for purposes of procreation…. Extreme, I know, however it would address a lot of issues, including NPD applicants
I would love to hear your ideas.
What kind of sterilization procedures?
as i said, something reversible… i am not a medical scientist, so i do not have a specific answer to your question
I understand. The idea is intriguing, and I can see why this could be a option, it is handing over more control over people’s lives to the government……that thou I see as a problem in the long run. IMO
I think if there was such a policy, a lot of us here on this site would have never been born. And most of us with children we adore. who fill our lives with joy and meaning would have been forbidden the joys and comforts of these children and grandchildren by government sterilization.
Hi Windstorm2
I agree.
Fear thou can cause many to start down paths that they have good intentions, yet in the long run be devastating.
There are those that will pick up on this and use it for control, if it suits their needs.
Think about what the government has done to control things? They are very good at keeping most people’s eyes on what the right hand is doing while the left is doing what is needed to accomplish their desires.
Emotional thinking will always keep people in the herd mentally. Learning to control it and see things logical helps.
Twilight
True. Much evil is done as the result of good intentions. And I have no doubt if there was a sterilization policy to prevent narcs from having children, it would end up quickly being run by narcissists!! There’d just be too much power and control available. It’s draw them like flies to honey. 😝
Windstorm2
The government is already ran by narcissist, so ending up, no it will already be in their hands.
This is no different the genetic modification, it is picking and choosing what one desires. Empaths are not exempt from this either. Discover the root cause will lead to a solution. Not eradicating the issues.
Sadly when one starts to mess with nature, things become a nightmare.
It’s harder to get a divorce than to marry and have children. But then again, our government would be the one’s to determine if we are fit to marry and have children so that’s no help.
That is so sad Lou. I am sorry for your childhood, you deserved to be treasured and loved!!
My mother sometimes “joked” that she should have flushed me and my brother when she had the chance. She had lots of “jokes” and flew into horribly frightening rages as well. I don’t remember her ever saying she loved us either and I was always aware that my existence was begrudgingly tolerated. She also allowed our step father to abuse us mentally and physically for many years.
She gets obviously uncomfortable when I tell her I love her or hug her but seems to have no difficulty being loving towards my children who absolutely adore her!?? I do not understand that but I’ll take it lol. I will say though that she seems much happier and easier to get along with in her older age now.
I came to find Mr. Tudor because of my devastation over 2 Ex Narcs and realized that my father and step father are Narcs and my mother also has some traits! What a clusterfuck!
Patricia
My mother was the same in many ways. I can’t recall her ever saying she loved me, and she never hugged me. But she loved my kids, told them so and hugged them often. I never understood it either!
However she never changed in her bitter, sarcastic treatment of me or any other aspect of her narcissism – only towards her grandchildren.
Thanks, Patricia, for your kind words.
My mother seems to be nicer to her grandchildren too.
I found Mr Tudor because of my mother and found out my sister is a narc too!
Windstorm, maybe is a way to triangulate you with your children. I love them, not you.
A cruel thing to say to anyone let alone a child.
A favorite of my monster to which I would reply “I don’t love you or like you”. I’d be devastated by her comment but I never wanted her to have the pleasure of thinking she defeated me.
I try to read these objectively sometimes. Parents are human and will have thoughts like I don’t like you right now or you only call when you need something or you never call me. But those are things that even if true should never, no matter the age of the child, be said to them. The ONLY motive in doing so is to make them feel shame and guilt. If you want to have healthy boundaries then make them but don’t dole out manipulative shame based statements like these.
Kids aren’t stupid. They know what you’re doing. Just like we know what ours parents are doing/did.
Ugh! Really? Why? Many parents say this.
I think the difference is in the second part. Non-narc parents say, I love you, but I don’t like what you’re doing right now – not that they don’t like you, but they don’t like your current behavior. A narc twists this to confuse you and make you doubt they really love you at all.
Valid point.
You are right Widstorm. Narcs use this phrase to manipulate and deliver criticism or devaluation.
exactly…
Oh! My bad! I said this and added I didn’t like the behavior or choices too.
I used to think that was normal. “I MAY love you, but I don’t always like you”.
There ia that word…”but” …it negates everything preceding. You pass on the same message, don’t you, HG?
Correct.
I luv you, but do not like what you did
The feelings mutual mummy dearest! Gawd that pic epitomizes narc mother ughh