Scenting Blood
In our engagement with our appliances and especially with our primary sources, we are repeatedly seeking to extract fuel. We have been designed to draw those fuel providers into our grasp, from the colleagues that we work with, the relevant family members and friends so that rather than surround ourselves with appliances of limited function we ensure that all those who are attached to us are likely to provide us with fuel. As I have explained before, we like to preserve our energy and operate in an efficient and effective fashion. As part of that approach we like to ascertain if we can scent fuel in our interactions with you, in the same way that a shark smells blood in the ocean and knows that a bigger prize awaits. There are certain responses that you provide that immediately tell us that there is more fuel ready to be extracted. Just as how a tiny nick on your leg may cause droplets of blood to fall and be smelt by the predatory shark, there are certain things that you will say to us that tells us that we should dive straight in and seize the advantage. There are comments that you will make which indicates to us that you are holding a reservoir of fuel just under the surface and all we need to do is slice you open and gorge on that waiting fuel. Your response tells us that your emotion is there, just a few moments away from being extracted, seized and gathered, so that rather than attend to something else we are best served by focusing our efforts on you.
It is akin to staring at a vast body of water behind a glass partition. We want that body of water to come gushing forward, engulfing us and cascading over us. We do not wish to dedicate the time to hammering away at this toughened glass in the hope of eventually making it crack. We do not want to expend our energy chiselling and drilling but instead we want to find the weak spot. We want to identify that flaw, that weakness, that opening, which means that with the careful application of pressure, the edifice will shatter and the water will come surging over us in an instant. You are no different. You are filled with fuel. That is why we chose you. You might be a co-dependent super tanker of fuel that requires the hull to be holed, you may be a super empathic fuel well which just needs to be drilled or an empathic fuel pump where one pinprick in the hose will allow the fuel to spurt out. You are a walking fuel depot and at times we can do just one thing, say one thing and the fuel will come fountaining from you, shooting out of you, gushing from you, ready for us to suck it all up, gorging on your delicious and potent fuel and drinking deep of your vast resources.
It is you that gives us the indication that you are ready to flow with fuel, that the dam can easily be breached and once you provide that indication to us, it only takes a small amount of pressure, a modicum of application and the most straightforward of manipulations to cause you to burst and we gain so much fuel. You are teetering on the brink of providing the fuel, it is almost spilling over there is so much of it and you tell us that it is there, often in just one sentence and then we apply the pressure and the geyser erupts.
These indications are applicable to both positive fuel and negative fuel. The comments in themselves will provide some slight amount of fuel but they are indicators, gateways telling us that in that moment there is a whole host of additional fuel ready to be tapped and it is easy to do so. This is why when you provide us with the positive indicators we dive in and invite you to expand on the point that you have made, the comments that you have shared because we know that there is more behind what you have said and we want it. It becomes even more evident when with the negative indicators. These really are a green light for us to satiate our fuel lust in the way that a pugilist would satisfy his bloodlust. You have waved the key in front of us through your comment and we will focus on that comment and what it signifies in order to get at the fuel that is hoarded behind it.
Should you say them to us you should be aware that you have just telegraphed that there is fuel to be gained and whatever we might have been doing will be forgotten as we turn and fix our eyes on you. Like the cruising shark, the scent of blood has been detected and easy and satisfying prey is well within reach. Our cold jaws will be clenched around you as we puncture you and begin to slurp on the surfeit of fuel. What then are these indicators, what should you be aware of what is it that you say which tells us that there is fuel ready and waiting to be extracted, exploited and consumed?
The Positive Indicators
- I love you
- How did you manage to do that?
- There is nobody like you.
- Where did you get that shirt from?
- That was amazing.
- That is an outstanding result.
- I could listen to you talk for hours.
- I could kiss you forever.
- I would die for you.
- I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now other than with you.
- I have finally found what I have been searching for.
- If I died now, it would not matter.
- I don’t know what I would do without you.
- I would do anything for you.
- I belong to you.
The Negative Indicators
- Where have you been?
- I hate you right now.
- Don’t leave me.
- Why must you hurt me like this?
- Who is she?
- I just need to feel loved.
- I miss you still.
- Is that it?
- What about me?
- You are being unfair.
- Please listen to me.
- Don’t shout at me.
- I don’t understand.
- Please talk to me.
- Please stop.
- I need to sleep.
- Please be reasonable.
- It is my birthday.
- Please, for my sake, just do it.
- You are scaring me now.
Let the feeding frenzy commence.
21 thoughts on “Scenting Blood”
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Violet, I should add, my parents were not affectionate at all. My mother hated children, toys, parks, etc. and she reminded us of it on a regular basis. I too preferred the sociopath to the N personality because there was no physical violence or chaos during those times. She’s pure evil though, so I didn’t want her touching me anyway.
I can’t wrap my head around this. Blood-sucking vampires are real. This has to be a greater. The lesser and mid aren’t this sophisticated or calculating.
I dreampt about N last night, first time in ages (I saw him at an event last Sunday). In the dream he was with his many exes, he was laughing at me, telling me to come and join him, I was upset and angry telling him I was declining his harem because I wanted us to be a couple. He and his women were laughing loudly at me, the pain I felt was intense, just as it had in reality. The upshot is he still gets fuel even in my dreams.
The only thing I haven’t said out of both lists is “I would die for you”. I probably would have, I just never said it.
HG, you have to have had an incredibly large amount of “girlfriends” to know all of these comments so well. It’s truly impressive how much knowledge you have into how we think and what we say.
Correct.
You would just need to look at me and I would burst into tears, I’m afraid.
What might be a narc’s reaction to a genuine “you have disappointed me”?
Depends how it is conveyed.
I am learning so much, it amazes me. 25 years I lived in a state of confusion and hell. 2 years dating, 14 years or marriage and 9 years of super nova battling to protect my children. I cannot adequately express the amount of gratitude I have for this site. It as if the curtains were pulled and the doors blown open. I have realized that the victims lie everywhere. The collateral damage and those affected in my tiny town are counted in the droves. I have begun to realize that he also seduces business associates, dévalués them by making them do things they shouldn’t and then dismisses them without payment. Hundreds of thousands of dollars and because they didn’t take the necessary steps in their paperwork to protect themselves, they rarely have a court case. If they do, and manage to get a judgement, they cannot collect. My question is.. now that he has completely ruined his reputation in a very small town, he is losing everything and the public at large hates him, what will he do? Right now he is hiding from all accountability. He has left his second wife and is holed up with a meth head girl with a sorted history as well. How does one go from upstanding citizen of the year to drug/sex addict living in a flop house? Is his next step marginally predictable?
These worked! Thank you!
Does anyone else have sociopathic parents?
My father was a sociopath (he’s dead now) and I believe my oldest brother is one. I didn’t grow up with my father because he was put in prison when I was 3 but my siblings did and they passed his actions down to me.
I’m curious to hear if there are more. I struggle with my personality because I few up in an environment that didn’t care for the outside world. It worked to my advantage as a writer and artist and I believe a lot of my strong traits resulted in this. And in my parents I preferred the sociopath to the narcissist coming out because at least it was calm.
But I do not fit in with others. A lot of them find me offbeat, fearless or underwhelming at times I should be emotional.
Because of my chaotic and abusive environment I tended to watch people and then copy them and I think people find this odd now.
There are things in my career the sociopath encouraged me to do but now I struggle to do without them, this may also be grief.
I would add on being affectionate that my mother held me all the time. I was very affectionate with my parents but after violence and sexual touching I cut it off around age 9 and that was it. I may as well have left home because they never actually raised me, they were just “there”.
I think affection shapes our personality so much that we tend to change it to get it. Hence why I get so addicted to sociopathic narcissist guys today, it is so familiar a role for me to play. I face the problem of stepping back and changing my behaviour.
I think as well we miss partners because we choose them with qualities we don’t have to become stronger as a team. Of course we miss them when they are gone because we cannot do as we did before. An exciting part of ourselves is gone. (and sorry HG) I know a narcissist can still miss an empath’s traits but they accept the blows perhaps a little better.
Violet, What you shared resonated deeply with me. I wasn’t willing to admit one of my parents is a sociopath until I read this. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Now, I know why I seek Greater N’s and sociopaths.
It’s funny because it’s taken six years for the simple reality to really sink in…which HG says in the majority of his posts. It’s all about FUEL. I have read that for so long, but maybe was in denial or just really stupid. But now I see it clear as day, he never cared about me, it wasn’t because I was a good person or a bad person (that he reacted the way he did), he acted that way because he knew how to work me (put pressure on those cracks) to release all that fuel (me getting upset or me pleading).
So with that information at hand, I now don’t give him any fuel. If he ignores me, I ignore him back, if he says hello, I say hello back. No emotion at all.
How does that affect them HG? I had him emailing me for a week being super nice and attentive, and he was getting single lines back in the range of ‘that’s nice for you’…and he now he’s stopped talking to me. Hehe.
I’m surprised to see many readers state that their narcs are from the UK. Mr. Tudor, you’ve stated that the majority of readers are from the US. Yet based on weighted average, would there be a larger percentage of narcissism in the UK given the smaller population?
I’m also curious about narc type and cadre by geographic regions.
You have some great data in your hands! A statistical analysis is in order!
One the positive side: #7 I could listen to you talk for hours (I told him this in the first moments because I LOVE British accents)
#8 I could kiss you forever – DAMN he was the best kisser I have ever had.
On the negative side: #2 I hate you right now. (the first silent treatment)
#7 I miss you still (during every silent treatment)
#8 Is that it? (after every silent treatment)
#10 You are being unfair – always
#14 Please talk to me (during every silent treatment) He did this ALL the time. He would go for weeks without talking to me. Your kind is merciless. I hate you all!!! GRRRR
For shits sake, looks like I’m gonna have to do the eggshell dance again just to find a decent guy!
Must your kind twist every syllable HG?!
Yes… they twist every F**king syllable, my narc had me constantly arguing over wordology, what is this communication supposed to mean. So much bullshit constantly. It was dizzying to the mind. Today she has me in court and the Judge has called her out. There is a God, I’m sure. Karma will still win the day I’m afraid.
I hate him right now, but can’t get him out of my head.