The Pursuit of Revenge

the-pursuit

I know you hate me. Your kind are filled with love and then filled with hate. There is no need to deny it. It is a normal reaction for someone like you and one which I entirely endorse and encourage. I know you will try and mask that burning anger that you feel by saying you pity me or that you have nothing but contempt for me but I can see it. Those sensational eyes of yours that once blazed with desire, passion and most of all hope, are now filled with the churning, billowing flames of hatred. Some of you will fight to contain this sensation. You fear that by giving in to this hatred that you will somehow be on a level with me. I can ease your fears in that regard. You are nowhere near my level and nor were you. I placed you far higher than me to begin with. Yes it was artificial and all part of my design but you had no complaint then did you? You did not object or demur when I thrust you skywards and planted you no that pedestal. Of course you did not. Who would? Nobody would and least of all somebody like you. Now you are on your true level, way down below me, cast onto stony ground, broken and shattered. Amazing though isn’t it how you managed to summon such an anger from somewhere. How many times had you said to your confidantes that you felt numb (yes they were reporting back to me). Yet now look at you. A seething, glowering fireball of hatred and it is all directed at me. I adore this.

You want to destroy me. I know you do. You all do. The one before you was exactly the same as the one before was and the one before her. The next one will be just the same,although I do still hold out some hope that she might just be different and somehow avoid the mistakes all those who have gone before have made. I have seen this hatred many times and your desire for revenge is strong. Of course it is. I made it this way. Everything I did as I brought you down low was programmed to cause you to eventually explode into hatred. From elation to despair, through broken to numb. Eventually the switch would be flicked and as puppet master I ignite the fire beneath you which stokes the flames of hatred. Despise me, go on, do it. Send those wicked words towards me. Tell me what a bastard I am. Keep it coming. Pull you hair, wave your fist and stamp your feet. Tell me how you are going to scratch my car. Feels good does it not? Believe me, it feels even better being on the receiving end of your bile and hate. Go on, sit with your friends and plot your revenge, I can feel you all huddled around your cauldron as you try and concoct ways at getting back at me. I feel so powerful knowing you are focussed on seeking retribution. This is what I want. I want to bask in the heat of your anger, I want to be covered in the disgust and distaste that you will spew towards me. I want you scheming, hatching and planning. By hurting you do deeply I plant inside you that overwhelming desire to get even with me. It happens every time and is all part of my master plan to ensure you, my beautiful appliance keep pouring fuel in my direction. I make you seek revenge for in doing so, your planning and ham-fisted execution of the same give me what I want. Fuel. You are blinded with your hatred so that you fail to realise you will not succeed in gaining revenge, not by shouting, spitting and scratching. Oh no, this overload of howling anger is just a banshee of fuel to me. I will twist and shift as I thwart your attempts, laughing at your pathetic efforts to try and get one over on me. This will spur you on as I lead you on yet another merry dance as I continue to take from you exactly what I need. So please, seek your revenge. You will not get it but I will be delighted seeing you try.

5+
Advertisements

40 thoughts on “The Pursuit of Revenge”

  1. Yes Dear, all true.

    But I have been coached by an improved specimen of Your Ilk whose statements ring true in what’s left of my logical mind.

    I will feed his ego; allow him to guide me to thwart you.

    All you did was push me to find a better version of you.

    Unlike you, I don’t need to lord my revenge. I can control it.

    4+
  2. No, the best revenge is to ignore your existance, as though you and I never were. To let you slip out of the noose of the many obligations and promises you made with no word from me at all. Go ahead, keep my belongings, let them be your trophies or fire starters, I don’t care. The last laugh will be on you because there is not one part of your house, your yard, your fancy palace on wheels that I have not touched, that does not scream of my presence, that does not smell of me. That should get you going, even when others take my place, I will still be there staring at you.
    Let everywhere you turn bring me into a one of your spheres and not be able to contact me…even though I am so very accessible to you and will remain so. Oh, I will be ever so accessible to you, but I will not answer. I may or may not look at your accusatory texts, but you’ll never know that. Go ahead, shut off my phone, you will never have access to me again, and if that’s what you really want, then that’s your prerogative.
    I will no longer be weakened by you. You have let too much time pass and your power over me is ever weakening, and actually you’re quite forgettable, I cannot even seem to recall your face and it’s only been 2 months.
    Do you want to play the game? I will play the game with you, because I have been with you so many times before-only you had a different face and a different name- and youre alk them same. Maybe I will derive some pleasure in making you mad and sulky like a child, and maybe it won’t matter at all.
    How does it feel to know that you are so ordinary? Exactly the same as everyone before you? Nothing special about you, except maybe your technique..which got pretty old, really. Old, like you’re getting..
    If you think I am weak or stupid, then you are wrong. You may have gotten the better of me, broke me, hurt me, but you haven’t seen me in all my glory. But you will. The Phoenix always rises (how funny thats where you live) and the best part is..I will not have to say a word, or be so juvenile like you have to be by posting a picture or a meaningful meme, I will not even have to use others as my mouthpiece, or victimize myself to get them on my side:

    Promise me you’ll tell them I made a lovely villain, when you tell them your side of our horror story.

    All I have to do is – Nothing-

    Game-Set-Match

    22+
    1. AMEN! Could have been me that wrote that! I´m in exactly same position. His house filled with my belongings and gifts … Im out but its been from hell and back! One week ago I told him good bye for ever and that he don’t exist and I will purge all the memories of his distorted ass.
      I wish I could say its easy but one day at a time. Happy to read that I am not alone and Im not crazy.. that this pattern of sick behavior belongs to THEM NOT US!

      1+
  3. I think this is where a lot of us victims make our mistake. That anger and hatred is what you are after. I realized this and instead have become indifferent towards him. I did take it upon myself to report anything and everything that I could as I think this type of behavior should have consequences. Other than that, I feel that your kind is an illusion and not worthy of my time and hatred. It does take one time to realize this. Anger is a justifiable emotion to feel after what they put you through. No one deserves this. Not even you and your pathetic brethren. What you do deserve is for none of us to give you another thought. In the end, you are not even a real person with love, kindness, and your own traits. That’s why you steal them from us. You are an empty shell that needs constant filling. That is our revenge. You will keep seeking the same relationship, year after year and day after day. The faces change, but that’s it. That is my revenge…. for you will never, ever be happy, feel fulfilled, or know peace. Ever.

    ~L

    8+
  4. Wow love, being in this mess, almost over my head, being that angry, and wanting to do just that. But, ya do in my own sick and twisted thinking, make me laugh. Only because it’s like a play book, and I’m living it! It’s so messed up! Is it just that control? Cold fuzzys, or warm fozzys? It so lopsided! I almost feel like your a coach that stole my competitions play book to help me win. Keep up the good work. Although I’m surprised the ground hasn’t opened up below ya for being a trader of sorts, lol. Well i would ask ya to wish me luck, but I’m sure that’s out of the question!

    0
  5. Dear Mr Tudor,
    My ex narcissist friend was very much an ” affront to my delicate nature”. I do not and will not tolerate liars (there is absolutely no need for it). He did my head in. I do not look back nor would I ever go back. I certainly wouldn’t waste my valuable energy or time on revenge, he’s not worth it. He can jump up and down and carry on with all this nonsense of ghosting and hoovering like a crazed gorilla or along par with a 4 year old high on red food colouring and overloaded on sugar. At the end of the day he will always be and remain a complete “tosser” whereas I’ve learnt about narcissism. His loss not mine! Glad to see the back of him … even that wasn’t very attractive … haha
    Thanks to your blog Mr Tudor and your valuable insight….. “I don’t give a damn”

    12+
  6. My last words to him were, “You know what you did.” For three months now I have been getting my revenge the only way, and the BEST way I can, by not answering his phone calls and not returning his messages. I have been completely silent, ignoring him. Yes, it has hurt and some days are worse than others. But I am finding that by being free of his attempts to control every aspect of my life, I actually have a life. Mine. I don’t have to take my cell phone with me to the bathroom at work anymore in case he calls to see where I am. I know he has someone else. He always has, he’s just switched us back and forth. But I also know that my ignoring him is eating away at him. No one has ever walked away from HIM before. He does the walking! But not this time. I kicked him in the balls (figuratively) and walked away. My revenge is letting him know that he doesn’t exist and it is SWEET!

    7+
    1. LisaB…you are strong and I commend you for walking away from your N and going no contact. I am about 3 weeks no contact so far. It is hard sometimes because I miss the contact, but i have to remind myself that he was a fake and an illusion and strung me along while living with his wife (he said they were taking a break and were not living together..but he lied about that because she is most definitely living with him), as well as him having another IPSS on the side who he sees most days. Both of them are still blissfully unaware of each other after many years of him using them. Makes my blood boil to think he is still getting away with it and being cherished by these 2 women. Having said that, it is now peaceful at my place not having to have my phone stuck on me 24/7 in case he calls.. for example, previously if i didnt pick up a call or call him back (even if he had called 5 or 10 times already that day to see “what’s up”), he would accuse me of f..king some random guy when of course I wasn’t.. he would even make me take a photo to prove where I was..this was done all the while with him living with the wife, texting me with her lying next to him (but denying it), and taking her on a recent overseas trip while trying to convince me he was going on his own.. (I have proof they went together)..the worst thing for me though is that he keeps using her and the other woman and they worship him and can’t seem to see through his lies and deceit..when I saw through him within a few months…

      0
  7. I really don’t hate him and want no revenge.
    When I say I pity him that’s exactly what I mean and feel.
    There’s no hatred in my heart,but I do know he’ll never be happy,regardless all the happy pictures he’s putting on social media to make people think that he is.
    He can keep pretending to be happy and successful and rich and all that.
    At the end of the day I know who he really is and so does he and that’s all that matter.
    I don’t think you can lie to yourself and pretend to be something else you’re not.
    He’s just gonna end up alone and die alone like a miserable old nobody….

    3+
    1. K-
      I think it’s okay to pity him…From afar..without contact. Pity can be a neutral fuel, and the game isn’t any fun when you’re not playing.
      I, too, pity mine and I do not hate him or the others. I have made myself look pretty desperate and crazy after I left. But I feel the change coming on and my emotions begin to shift. I no longer feel so off kilter.
      I’m not dumb enough to believe I’m out of the storm, but I now know I can weather it.
      Maybe he has done me a favor by making me start all over again. This is the only time that I have sought help after the discard/escape and I’m glad I did. I love this place and the people in here. It’s a Safe Haven, and goodness knows we all need that.
      I want to be the Phoenix rising, like I explained in my post above because I know that is the best thing that I can do. Move on and be happy.
      Best wishes ♡

      3+
      1. There’s no such thing as neutral fuel Jody, and pity is fuel. You are correct to state however that one might pity from afar without contact, thus no fuel is provided.

        3+
      2. Thank you H.G. for the correction about Pity. We must all learn that feelings of any kind are a fuel source, and I would certainly not want to steer anyone in the wrong direction. 😉

        1+
  8. HG you ARE such a bastard! And I mean that in the nicest way, as I know you will take it.

    I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed your live stream today! Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I promise to behave next time. Maybe.

    2+
  9. I left the narcissist husband having endured his insanity for 15 years. On my departure he played the victim, quickly found new supply ( a theta healer) and he claimed to have been ‘saved’ by her. For four years I lived within 3 miles of him. I NEVER went near the premises which had previously been our art gallery where I worked 7 days a week, while he stole from me. He turned it into a crystal shop for his new fuel. The truth is however it was not for her, but only because he couldn’t conduct business alone. He is a perennial underachiever, a remedial student, but with a PHD ( from a Donald Trump institution) in the art of conning. He bought a dog after 6 months of being with the new target: he hates animals and forbade my daughter from having a dog whilst growing up. I have since learned from his brother that he killed the only animal they ever had – a tortoise which he stole from a neighbour- and which they hid from their parents.
    I IGNORED him when he sat outside my home with his puppy in his car: he couldn’t believe he was getting no reaction from me. After 4 years he finally left. And I don’t mean to another region: he left the UK earlier this year and emigrated to Australia. However, not before insisting that his new target leave her three children ( aged 19,21 and 23) behind. Incredibly, she did. He replaced them with the dog. I cannot tell you the triumph I feel. It’s not outwardly expressed, but rather a deeply felt, air punching ‘yes’. Whilst he was ‘acting’ in his crystal shop ( which made me laugh even more because he resolutely HATES all of that new age stuff he calls therapy for the ‘weak minded’ ) – I went back to university and became an Art Historian with an MA Honours. He doesn’t know – and never will – that I out smarted him by pretending to be sad that he had moved on. In fact, in the last piece of correspondence I replied to I said that I was truly happy that he had found his perfect fit. I said that we had been ‘ stepping stones ‘ for each other: that without him I would not have immersed myself in a subject I adore and become an expert in it, and without me he would not have found his ‘true love’. I wished him happiness, peace and love. Can you imagine? I reduced him to a stepping stone to my success. He does not know that actually I have forced him to act out a life that I know he despises. He cannot physically harm her because he has presented himself as a ‘kind, elderly man who loves animals’. He has now had to move to the other side of the planet, disconnect from all her relatives in order to start the campaign against her. She doesn’t know it yet. She believes she has ‘the trophy’. I do feel sorry for an another woman who is actually innocent: she fulfilled a prayer which I said at the beginning of my exit from him- that he moved to the other side of the world, away from my family here and in Italy- and He did.
    To all those who are anxious about this kind: they are not smart. They are not intelligent. They read from a very predictable script. I managed to convince my abuses to do EXACTLY what I prayed for: his departure – simply by being patient and focussing on the good and the light within me. He who laughs last laughs longest. The narc is caught in a prison he made for himself while thinking it would hurt me: he played into his own hands, put the noise around his own neck, and pulled his own chord. He is having to ‘act out’ a part in a play which he loathes- and he unwittingly read from the script I wrote. If he knew this, I know he would combust. I have no intention of ever telling him.
    To anyone in doubt, I assure you that beating the narcissist is entirely possible: learn from my quiet, humble approach. Then smile every morning on wakening. I do. Love to all.

    10+
    1. Nonsense, we are never outsmarted!

      Where some of the brethren let the side down and are outsmarted, in whatever way that manifests, it will result in the narcissist either being wounded which will lead to an ignition of fury or challenge fuel is provided and the narcissist will have to ‘put down’ the challenge to his or her authority.

      2+
      1. I doubt You could ever be outsmarted HG. But there are rare instances where an empath has sufficient evidence to report a narcissist to law enforcement, charges are filed, and the narc convicted or even better pleads guilty without the empath having to testify. Although it may appear as revenge I don’t view it as such. I view it as doing the right thing to protect other potential victims and spread information about Your kind.
        I just wonder if the narc ever has regrets about his choice of target when he meets his match in the Supernova. Or was the initial fuel worth the price?

        1+
      2. Well, we do not do regret, but there will be many times amongst our kind where an enlightened empath outsmarts the narcissist either in the Narc Dynamic (exposing, not giving fuel, no contact etc) or generally (securing a promotion when the narc has not, winning something and so forth) and all will result in wounding or challenge fuel, dependent on the circumstances. Of course, when this happens and if the wounding is significant you can expect to hear “I wish I had never met you” which is not to be regarded as regret but another instance of manipulation.

        2+
      3. “I wish I had never met you” can seem like a devaluation to the empath, imply the empath was not worth the time wasted, or be some other manipulation. However, I think it’s an admission of the injury caused by the empath and shows the narcissist’s vulnerability.

        I wonder how to respond to such a statement. I would want to laugh at the narc but maybe ignoring it would be best.

        0
  10. Hiya HG xx … is there any way at all we can get your kind back? Lol x honestly I don’t want to I just wondered…

    0
    1. You can increase the possibility of this happening, but it is always our decision, not yours. Thus, not only is it never guaranteed you also need to ask yourself, why would you ever want to do it?

      1+
  11. I cannot deny there was much anger at one point. Outrage. Hurt. He got his fuel.

    There is none of those left, no hatred now. He is not worth that time effort or energy. I am too busy rebuilding. With understanding came the detachment of any emotion towards him. Towards what was done. It cannot be changed and cannot be prevented. It is over. I can now look on it knowing it lead me here and lead me to grow, and if it had not been him it would have been a different narc. The lesson learned would have been the same.

    I do not condone your behavior towards your victims, HG, but there is no hate there either. Your blog does benefit countless people in countless ways. You are what you are. Love or hate will not change this.

    There is no hate in wishing that you and your kind heal or transform. There is understanding, compassion and kindness behind those thoughts but even those are greatly muffled by all I must do towards myself in order to rebuild. It is not pity either.
    It is simply wishing you well. Wishing you insight greater then that which you as a greater have. It is wishing you to see beyond that which you see. It is hoping you can find what you need to truly be complete. It is wishing for you tp stop hurting others because you yourself are wounded.
    It is wishing for no more and no less then those things… When I have time to stop and think on it.

    1+
  12. HG just out of interest if you pushed somebody so far and they tried to slit your throat how would you deal with it, thanking you in anticipation of you’re response 😜

    0
  13. I definitely complained about that pedestal… Predicted the inevitable fall… Mind you for e tiredly different reasons, thought he was just puppy like. Whoops.

    0
  14. The things which I am going to say now is only meaningful if the victim has not faced any physical abuse or tremendous financial lose (scam)

    Why do people want to take revenge from a Narc. ??

    I dont like this idea of revenge. I dont believe in going no contact also.
    If the Narc contacts, fine, no issue…..I know that she has won the first round. Congrats to her. Accept it in sportsman spirit. Why get so serious?? Isnt life a sport?

    Yes, one should not beg the Narc to take him back in her life. Thats worsening your position. If one is completely healed, has understood clearly his stand, there is no reason for anger or going no contact. Dont be the first one to contact your Narc after the abuse (I would say defeat). If the Narc contacts, dont put up a no contact sign. Its like sulking and eternally keeping the Narc on the victor’s platform….Ooooo, you defeated me…I will never talk with you. oooooo .

    Continue with your life. Heal yourself, flush out anger from your heart. If Narc hoovers, talk with her, be friendly, be firm, make sure that she cannot get back into your life as your partner, draw a border line, treat her just like a friend.

    0
  15. I am hoping for Karma to come around. Or that everyone in my small town finally sees him for what he is. A whack Job! Keeping my fingers crossed. I have your revenge book too and it seems like it will take more work than I am willing to put in to seek the revenge that he so deserves.

    1+
  16. I totally framed him and now I’m getting a promotion to go frame bigger assholes than him…His last words before it all came down were: see you in hell, good luck with your affairs, I want to die…

    What a crazy story.

    2+

Leave a Reply