Sins of the Empath : Honesty

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The sins of the empath. These are the traits which are inherent to those who are of an empathic nature. You possess these traits; this is why you were picked by us. You may wonder why they are regarded as a sin? This is because in our view we consider them to be sins as we do not possess these traits. These traits are regarded, in your world, as laudable traits to have. These traits however make you vulnerable to us. They cause us to be attracted to you in the first instance and the existence of these characteristics means that they are ripe to to be exploited by us. These traits are good traits to have but because of us they become polluted, desecrated and exploited.

You cannot lose these traits. They are as much a part of you as your skin tone and eye colour. They define who you are. You may, unusually, try to rid yourself of them but you cannot. It would be like trying to rip out your own heart and still live. These traits are infused within you. For the most part you will be pleased you possess these characteristics, thankful that they assist you and define you, separate you from being one of us. You ought to be aware however of what these sins are so you know what it is that causes us to home in on you and furthermore how it is that we exploit these sins for our own benefit. With that knowledge you will be able to look to protect the relevant characteristic and ensure it remains intact and is not attacked, shredded or fed upon by us.

The first of these sins is the empathic sin of honesty. James E Faust said of honesty,

“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living and truth loving.”

This aptly demonstrates how honesty is at the core of how an empath behaves. You utilise this honesty in everything that you do. It governs how you interact with people, how you speak to people and most of all how you conduct your intimate relationships. I am not suggesting that this empathic trait makes you a saint; you will not be above pocketing the excess change if the cashier hands you back too much money or refraining from telling a friend that the outfit they think is wonderful does not really do them too many favours. Your honesty is tempered with discretion and being circumspect when you identify that a lighter touch is required. You understand when being too honest with another is not appropriate. Nevertheless, honesty is of huge importance to you. You regard it as a fundamental factor of your character to act with honesty, both in terms of those you deal with and especially in respect of yourself. This core of honesty and its repeated application to your every day outlook in life makes it ripe for exploitation by us.

The exploitation commences at the seduction. When you engage with people, you have a tendency to allow your emotions and traits to be seen by all. You do not hide the way you feel. You do not operate from behind a mask (not like others you may know of) nor from behind a curtain. You do not cloud your dealings and operate in a shadowy manner but rather you exhibit who you are from the outset. This is of no consequence when you are dealing with your fellow empaths or even the normals but it becomes especially dangerous when you come into our sights. Not only do we have a heightened ability to sense the traits which matter to us, you aid this because your honesty means that you have all your characteristics on display. Just like a proud shopkeeper displaying his wares in a pristine shop window, you exhibit (but you do not flaunt) your inherent traits for the world to see. This means that your empathic and class traits which are so important to us when we target our victims are out in the open because of your honesty. You have an honest default setting. It is akin to having no privacy settings on your social media so that whoever takes an interest in you can see everything about you, everything that you have ever posted, where you live, where you have been, your photographs and so forth. This default setting is important to us as it makes our task of identifying you so much easier. When you are demonstrating those empathic traits through your honesty, they are highlighted, prominent and readily identifiable. Accordingly, if you keep wondering why you always seem to attract our kind, it is because your honesty is causing you to stand out to us.

Your honesty means that you engage with people without an agenda, without suspicion and providing them with the benefit of the doubt. This honesty of approach means that you fail to see those red flags which are fluttering during the seduction and that you fail to hear the blaring klaxons and see the flashing red lights which signal that something is amiss. You operate in an honest way and this causes your thinking to be framed so that you expect and assume that the person you are dealing with is honest towards you. This honesty takes you into the territory of gullibility. Add to this that we are of course not being truthful with you in the way we engage during the seduction and you have little chance of avoiding what we are doing; seducing you and doing so effectively.

The inherent honesty which you possess also means that you tell us how you feel and you will do so early in our interactions with you. Since we are engaged in love-bombing you at the outset it is nearly impossible to resist telling us how wonderful it feels and that you have fallen in love with us. Your early declarations in this regard are wanted and expected. Hearing this allows us, along with seeing the relevant indicators, to know that our seduction is proving successful and that you are being embedded. Gaining such knowledge is important for us in terms of ensuring that we have the level of fuel that we want but also in terms of allowing us to bind you closer to us, for instance by asking to borrow money or by moving in together. Your honesty results in your telling us what you are thinking and feeling, which in turn gives us the green lights we require.

Your honesty makes you transparent. You cannot hide anything from us and most importantly of all, you are unable to hide your feelings from us. Thus you will always struggle to hide you joy, your delight, your ecstasy, your pain, your tears, your annoyance and your agony from us. This emotional honesty is fundamental to why we engage with you. This means that the fuel you provide to us is purer that any which might come from another source. Yes, the “normals” will provide us with fuel through being happy to see us, through praising us or annoyed at being messed around by us. Even our own kind will provide fuel to another member of the brethren through exhibiting jealousy, annoyance or anger, but in both these cases there is an absence of emotional honesty which is prevalent with you as an empath. Your emotional honesty creates a fuel which is pure, free from toxins, devoid of pollutants. It is not masked, it has not been shrouded or clouded in some way, as is the case with normals and most certainly with our kind.

By being emotionally honest you ensure that your fuel is the best of all types and naturally this is why we are drawn to you, sink our teeth into you and start to drain you of all that sparkling and pure fuel.

Your honesty makes you a target to begin with, it makes you an easier target to latch onto and the reward of this pure fuel means we want to keep hold of you and keep returning to you to feed on it.

The matter does not of course end there. Your empathic sin of honesty generates further problems for you once the devaluation commences. We are dishonest. We are habitual liars, practitioners of deceit and operate through a skewed lens of fraudulent intent. When we engage in these dishonest practices it mortally offends your innate honesty with the consequence that you respond by providing yet more fuel. This offence to your honesty combined with your honesty drives you to want to make us see the lies that we so readily allow to fall from our deceitful mouths, to have us address our mendacity and recognise what we do. This only serves to bind you to us further.

The honesty you have with your self also means that you have a capacity to be introspective and the consequence of this is that you regularly self-flagellate by blaming yourself when you can find no other answer to our behaviour. The narcissistic perspective and our toxic logic, which are invariably a mystery to our victims means that you fail to understand why we do and say as we do. Your honesty causes you to look inwards and you blame yourself. This fulfils our desire to remain unaccountable and increases the weight of the burden of our engagement with you, upon you. Your honesty causes you to accept blame either where it does not lie with you or in a greater proportion that for which you are culpable.

Your honesty of dealings also prevents you often of speaking of the devaluing abuses outside of your relationship with us. At first, that may seem a contradiction, but you would feel dishonest if you spoke about them to others without informing us first of your intention to do so. You, by this stage, have learned that it is a safer course of action to suffer in silence rather than speak out to us and in turn you will not speak of what is happening to others, not until the pressure has become too great or more likely once you have been discarded by us.

The enduring love you experience for us, or more accurately, your addiction as a consequence of our infecting you, means that when those hoovers come post escape or discard, you are unable to shroud or hide how you truly feel and once more you light up like the brightest beacon. You signal to us that your love (addiction) remains and thus there is yet more fuel to gather and that you are so susceptible to our machinations to pull you back into our grasp once again, be that to extract fuel or to commence the Formal Relationship once again.

We know you are honest. It shines from you and we identify it from the way you conduct yourself and what you say when we target you at the outset. Not only is the identification of this trait confirmation that you possess one of the many traits that we look for, it also confirms that certain actions will succeed and certain responses will take place.

It is often stated that honesty is the best policy. It is certainly a policy that we endorse. It is one of the empath’s sins and with it comes the attention, exploitation and manipulation of our kind.

 

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157 thoughts on “Sins of the Empath : Honesty”

  1. After reading your posts it is like you have infiltrated my mind and my soul, however, as a consequence and maybe to a lessor degree, I guess I am also infiltrating yours…..but in your case…. your mind only. Thank you.

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  2. So true. Screwed up by mid range for exactly those reason. Yes, felt dishonest because I started telling people about his abuse, so I kept telling him about it! He then conditioned me to always tell him about everything, because he’d know anyway – hacks into all my accounts. It’s taken a long time for me to follow the advice of friends, just stop telling him things and change all my details!

    Thanks for reminding us how stupidly honest we are. I am one of those who can’t even bear to get the wrong change and would always return it. Today the staff at a booth waved us in saying that members can just go through. Would’ve saved a lot! I was too honest and said, no we are not members. I had some vouchers and once again by mistake she charged me half of what I was due to pay. Immediately I told her, I owe you twice that amount. What are we empaths like! Couldn’t live with myself if I hadn’t owned up.

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  3. HG, am I an empath ? I don’t think I am ? But I don’t know ? You say you can spot people on this blog , what they are narcs , borderlines , empaths , normals ? What am I please ?

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  4. Your articles make me angry because of how my life has been affected by narcissistic abuse, however, I appreciate the information. Why do you share this information with us HG? Do you care about us? Also, since you say your kind kind see the honesty on us like a neon sign, how can my kind protect ourselves? I would hate to have to hide who I am to to keep from being preyed upon by another narcissist.

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    1. Hello Althea,

      1. Your response is understandable and common in nature.
      2. Why do I share? Please see the About section in the blog menu.
      3. Do I care about you? No.
      4. Read my work so you can understand, counter and drive out the emotional infection. You cannot hide what you are but you now have access to the knowledge that will enable you to identify us, evade us and if you cannot, the best ways to protect yourself during your interactions with us. Welcome on board.

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      1. Do you know about narcissists talking about a victim in front of their face but pretending to talk about someone else?
        So, if a victim is having financial troubles the narcissist will say “oh Donald Trump was never good with money!” again and again in front of the victim to troll.

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      2. Your isolation experiment. I would like to know if you have ever gained pleasure from any hobby other than writing.
        Is the only pleasure the gain of fuel from writing?
        Also have you ever done any computer programming?, it gives a wonderful feeling of control.

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      3. ‘Pleasure’ is not really a concept that applies to me as it is linked in to the concept of power and what might be arise from what I have been doing. I have been fuelled from numerous past times when I was younger, such as football, shooting, athletics, cross-country, public speaking competitions, collecting things, arson.

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      4. Thanks, I thought my narcissist was getting insulted when i visit this blog, but I just got a manufactured argument after not visiting the blog for a month so it doesnt make any difference.

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      5. HG I was reading your prior response to Brian whereby you stated that you were fuelled from collecting things when you were younger (amongst other activities that were more of a competitive nature)…..would you please tell us what your collections were? I know it is empaths now…….Diva

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      6. You see Windstorm2…….Do you remember when I stated “Have you every asked a question and then regretted it once you got the answer!!!!”
        I have a collection of dog collars too….but then again I had a dog…..and I know you don’t.
        I would like to think that those locks came off the heads of the living!!!!!! Although I can’t be too judgemental here as I too cut off some of my dogs black fur to keep after she died…..it’s right here with her dog collar!!!………Diva

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      7. No doubt the locks of hair are a form of ever presence for you…….well the dog fur is for me in any case……I am going to quit writing about this before I start sounding as weird as you!!! I think I am going to have to be nicer to you now in light of this new evidence, as I dread to think what the other collections are……thank you for answering the initial question…..Diva

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      8. My first narc had a collection of dead animals and bones……they were all over his house…….real lion skins, puffer fish, stuffed owls, skulls and bones of God only knows what…….it’s all making perfect sense now…….Diva

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      9. Let’s hope it’s human hair and a different type of collar if it’s cruelty to animals please don’t write about it HG save that for a book if necessary . I don’t want to know about that

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      10. Why do you keep locks of hair?

        Do you know what long hair means or more to the effect what in some it affects?

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      11. I have a feeling I might regret that post…..but it made me laugh!…..hey some women like bald men!….Diva

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      12. “Do you know what long hair means or more to the effect what in some it affects?”

        Hi Twilight…would you mind explaining what you mean? If you can……as I can’t think of anything and I have very long hair……thanks Diva

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      13. Diva

        I am extremely protective of my hair.

        Have you ever wondered why man is the only mammal that on the head the hair grows long?
        I believe there is a spiritual aspect of long hair.

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      14. Twilight what an interesting question and not one I have ever considered before you raised it. I can not abide anyone touching, mauling or twirling my hair. I can’t explain why……Other than the sensation is too much……Diva

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    1. Interesting reading about collections…i collect boudoir dolls from the 1920s. My kids think theyre creepy but i love them lol!! Ive aleays loved antiques and unique items.

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  5. HG,

    I collect rare dead insects and arachnids, fossils, and I have a thing for oddities. How many dog collars and locks of hair do you have? I was sure you would say you collect people lmao.

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    1. It is a given about the people Dr Q. The locks of hair collection is several score in number. As for dog collars – seven. Do you have a favourite dead insect?

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    2. It wasn’t a collection though, but I had the south russian tarantula in the glass with a formaldehyde at home.

      That beast bit me in the forest and to get the exact anti-sera for treatment, I had to bring it to hospital. When they finished to treat me, they gave me that dead beast as a “memorizer about my good old times”. I didn’t know what to do with it, so I just brought it to my home. Everyone was shocked. Lol.

      I collect the colorful gemstones and design the jewellery (using them) for myself. My friend-jewellerer gives a life to all my ideas. I’m pretty maniacal about them. Lol.

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    3. Hi dr Q…What a cool collection except i hope no centipedes lol butterfly collections i find beautiful. Dinosaurs and fossils fascinate me. I live close by to a popular dinosaur museum.

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      1. Ha! that was my next thought, HG. The infamous Scrapbook!

        Diva, you never know with these disordered types; anything goes.

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      2. HG

        I have some Q & As could you please let me know if I am correct, the questions were posed to Dr. Leonard Glass from Harvard in a tv interview last night and I want to make sure my answers are accurate.

        Q. boasting all the time is a sign of?
        A. I think: sense of superiority

        Q. Unable to tolerate a difference of opinion
        A. sense of superiority and control

        Q. Ridicule the vulnerable
        A. lack of empathy

        Q. unable to apologize
        A. lack of accountability

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      3. I don’t follow. Are they your answers or his answers? Or was he asked these questions, but you have answered them?

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      4. HG
        Those were the questions (summarized) posed to Dr Glass during the interview and those were my answers, (succinct I had to be quick) and I was wondering if they were correct. I will post his answers for you to look at and you can see what we are dealing with when they speak to the “experts”.

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      5. HG do you recall in England there was some Italian guy (Restivo) that used to get on a bus or go to the cinema and sit directly behind numerous random women with a pair of scissors and cut locks from their hair. Restivo progressed on to murdering and mutilating several women…….and cutting locks was his hallmark…..just saying!!!! Hey Jenna, you can have my place on that naughty step…..I am bored of it now, been there done that and I am going to be as good as gold from now on……(double gulp)!!!!!!…….Diva

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      6. He had a hair fetish…..scissors in one hand and something else in the other hand……bizarre but true according to crime watch!!!!!……Diva

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      7. He would have done if he had touched my hair……..as I would have done the Lorena Bobbit manoeuvre on him….Diva

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      8. Diva, it is a lost cause. Hg will not place me on the naughty stairwell. But since now i don’t expect it, maybe he will? Or since i think he might do it now, he won’t ? He will. He won’t. He will. He won’t…

        Damn narcs!

        Restivo sounds very sick.

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      1. Having nothing to do w the scrapbook, voodoo dolls?

        A toupee of all ur victims?
        Maybe u can insert it in the scrapbook at night for good keep?😄

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      1. I think Diva maybe referring to why didn’t you ask about dirty empath blonde.LOL
        Or maybe my admission to a dirty empath action.
        There is a darker tone referred to in the US as dirty or dishwater blonde.

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      2. I understand how dirty blonde may mean a type of hair colour or a reference to a blonde woman’s sexual behaviour. I had not come across the phrase dishwater blonde – probably because I have a dish washer.

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      3. Probably all homes come equipped w dishwashers these days, wise ass! (I have one too, but prefer hand washing, as the dishwasher releases too much humidity which is a potential for mold growth.)

        ‘Dirty’ blonde refers to hair color only, if i’m not mistaken, not a woman’s sexual behavior.

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      4. Omg that’s clever!

        So u actually have a person come to ur home to wash dishes? If she is female, have u ‘bed’ her yet? Lol!
        (I learned the word ‘bed’ can be used as a verb, frm u!)

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      5. I have a dishwasher and a dish washer. I prefer the dish washer. The individual is not someone who I would bed, I do not need to.

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      6. I thought u need to bed anyone empathic!😜
        So she must not b an empath? Or maybe she does not have residual benefits?

        But prostitutes won’t offer residual benefits since u don’t really know them, and u bed them, no?

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      7. No, I do not.

        The individual concerned has empathic traits. The individual of course has residual benefits.

        I have.

        I suggest you do some more reading as you are making incorrect assumptions.

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      8. I was just joking when i wrote: “I thought u need to bed anyone empathic!😜”
        – notice the emoji!

        I know u r picky in who u choose as ipps/ipss cuz i read sitting target.

        Regarding bedding her for one night only, it would not b in ur best interest to do so as she may become complacent as an employee, thinking she has extra priveleges w you.

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      9. I am pleased you have remedied the situation and relied on your reading. I tend to screen emojis out.

        You keep thinking the individual is female, which is an assumption.

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      10. Thank u.

        Good to know u screen out emojis. I will use them just a little less w you then.

        U wrote: “You keep thinking the individual is female, which is an assumption.”

        However, i did ask u “If she is female, have u ‘bed’ her yet?”

        U replied: “The individual is not someone who I would bed, I do not need to.”

        I did not catch frm ur response that she is not/may not be female. The answer was not clear to me. So if it was a false assumption by me, then my mistake.

        U r obviously not obliged to answer questions here. It is our privelege that u do so. Actually, u r being rather gracious by doing so. Thank u for giving us ur time. But sometimes, i feel (maybe i am wrong) that ur answers r indirect, so i (we?) get confused.

        Like in the article where a reader asked abt what u stated in live QnA, abt u killing someone and a gun was involved. Many readers subsequently asked u abt it further:

        https://narcsite.com/2017/07/04/5-common-no-contact-mistakes-no-2-thinking-we-wont-hoover-you/

        But we could not figure out what actually transpired becoz ur answers were indirect. In this case, perhaps it was due to protecting ur identity, or what u do for a living.

        I apologize in advance if i am way off base here.

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      11. Note you used ‘female’ I responded with ‘individual’. You attached gender, I did not.

        I answer in the manner I choose. It is that simple. If that leads to further questions, so be it. Those further questions will be answered in the manner I choose.

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      12. Someone that washes your dishes

        Yet I have never heard the term dishwater blonde here. Dirty yes dishwater no.

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      13. A dish washer? Oh my… thats as bad as getting someone to pluck dead blooms off your plants 😄

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      14. True fact

        You can afford it and they need the work. It is the perspective that makes some careers or jobs look disgraceful.

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      15. I tried that (help in the kitchen), and afterwards he asked me if he could clean my kitchen next time in his string tangas ….

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      16. Why do they have to wash your dishes by hand tho instead of loading your dishwasher?😄i hope they get paid well 🤑

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      1. ..because a narcissist will never experience true love.. or joy.. and they often admit themselves – they are miserable – why not change?

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      2. Those that admit they are miserable do it in order to gain sympathy and pity which is fuel. People are taken in by that.

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      3. ….if you are absolutely sure that this high effectiveness brings the best outcome for you ( but not necessarily for the persons entangled with you) then you are probably right: There is no need for you to change.

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      4. To avoid serious health (and mental) problems and various types of prosecution related directly to their “life style”, Tudor.

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      5. I understand your point Noname, however, a combination of not being accountable, huge entitlement, lack of insight, blame-shifting etc means that those matters are either not considered an issue or false behind the requirement for fuel et al in terms of importance.

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      6. Hello Noname,
        I used to feel like you before and spent a considerable amount of energy trying to give them reasons for them to change: I am starting to believe that that is useless. I think their own sense of superiority blinds them to realise that this effectiveness is not as high as they believe. If they really were high effective, they wouldn’t need external sources to survive (getting fuel from others) . If they really were to reach high effectiveness they would seek ways to be self-fuelling and less destructive.I think this position they take( of not “needing “to change) is just a self-defence mechanism for them.
        The same way we no narcissists adopt certain self-defence mechanisms that blind us sometimes not allowing us to make a more rational, cold hearted analysis of certain situations when needed and preventing us from taking the best decisions for us.
        I totally agree with you: it is tragic.

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      7. Most do not know what they are, therefore why change? Those that do are highly effective, therefore why change? **i am not sure which is more disheartening.** :/

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  6. Diva
    You will be back on the “Steps: faster than I can say Timbuktu and Constantinople.

    Curl up and dye, that was funny, HG. Dick Emery sketch? No. This is The Benny Hill Show.

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    1. Hey K……yea have little faith in me…..if I told you I spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day on my own with a priest would that convince you I can be good? Although to be fair, I had no idea he was a priest until 3 days in, when someone called him Father and he had already told me he had no kids!!!!….don’t worry I didn’t corrupt him….although my confessions may have done!!!! It’s a true story …..I met him in a hotel lift……as you do!!!……I loved Benny Hill…..I had forgotten all about that show!!!!!……Diva

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      1. Diva
        I just like to tease you about “The Steps” and I am sure you are perfectly capable of staying off of them. It is good to know that you did not steal the priest’s virtue. I bet he loved hearing your confessions, though. You could write a book: “Fifty Shades of Diva”. HG’s comment about the Dick Emery sketch brought up those long forgotten memories of the Benny Hill Show.

        What a trip, HG. I YouTubed Yakety Sax and the theme song brought me right back to my childhood.

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      2. Hey K…..It would need to be more than Fifty Shades if my names on it!!!!!……If only I had of known he was a priest from the start!!!!……..Diva

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  7. HG—disheartened in the past tense. of parents or partner. your honesty “hurts.” but it too is tertiary. yet it’s truth and as a seeker it’s what i claim to want. while i am warp speed processing all the narcs in my life times proximity (through my lens) idk why it matters. you’re correct. but i can trip up on “forgive them for they know not what they do” vs bloody hell they knew what they did. how can i forgive. or accept (the latter is a must simply to live in reality) and see things as they are not as i wish they were. the former is a choice.

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  8. Tragic how an empath will always lie to themselves first and foremost in the midst of the idyllic cloud of “honesty. Bending reality to suit…sound familiar at all?

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  9. Hi HG, Do you and your type often partner up with other Narcissists or another Cluster B type, perhaps a Borderline, for instance? Can two Narcissists partner up happily? Or at least as happily as any Narcissist can be?

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    1. Hello Survivor, it does happen yes. With regard to the outcome concerning some of the classes of narcissist see the articles When Narcissists Collide – Parts One and Two

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      1. Thanks, I will do. I’ve started reading some of your books on Kindle and the transformation value has helped me to understand why Empaths (HSP’s) like myself are targeted. I grew up with a narcissistic Mother which I guess made me a perfect target later on in life. Can I ask if it’s fair to state that an empowered / educated Empath (ex target) is a Narcissist’s worst nightmare?

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  10. HG: Because I say so.

    And what you say goes. . . as you stomp your foot!! This entire article is cracking me up!!! Too funny.

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      1. To robin: “irrelevant”

        It was just a joke frm robin hg.

        What’s wrong hg?

        I know we all have our off days. All of us do too. Is this an off day for u? I feel u r different today. Usually, u might have replied w a witty remark. Today, u seem harsh and straight to the point.

        I would not dare criticize u, but simply to increase our understanding – r u feeling irritated today? R u not as fuelled as u prefer? Did someone criticize u in ur personal life and ignite ur fury?

        Again, this is not a criticism. I genuinely feel concerned. I think u might reply that i don’t need to feel concerned because i am only tertiary and remote, but the fact is i am concerned hg.

        Though u r a mean man in ur personal life, we care abt u due to the dynamics here.

        I am also fearful to write this comment because i fear being dismissed as ‘i don’t need support frm u’ or that i am making assumptions.

        Well, the sentiment is there hg. If u r perfectly fine, which i assume u might state, then i am glad, but i feel something different today.

        I hope i did not irritate u.

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      2. Nothing is wrong. I pointed out the image was irrelevant because it is inaccurate. A simple statement of fact is not a manifestation of there being something wrong in terms of mood.
        No I am not irritated.
        Your concern is noted but you need not be concerned.

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      3. No. I just have not been around a narcissist for a couple of months and had forgotten how your words sting sometimes.

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      4. RS,

        Pls don’t b sorry u came back. U know hg, straight forward and to the point. We have to accept him as he is!

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      5. Hg,
        U must know that a response of just one word that is negative, may sting? I know u have enough cognitive empathy to realize that.

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      6. There is no sugar coating here because :-

        1. That will not help.
        2. I do not have the time. If one word provides the answer, one word is used.

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