Crumbs of Conversational Comfort

CRUMBS OF

We are experts at providing crumbs of comfort. This is because it is a necessary form of manipulation which has to be utilised as part of plate-spinning activities. As a consequence of the differing fuel matrices which we create, we have a vested interest in keeping certain of our appliances ‘in the game’. Remember, we like to conserve our energy so we have more available for the carrying out of our manipulations over different appliances and therefore at certain stages in the dynamic, we do not want to be forced to apply much or all of our energies towards one appliance, leaving us deficient in respect of the others. We want to keep several people in our fuel matrix because of the need for fuel and also with one eye on what is ahead of us.

When we first seduce our appliances we invariably treat them to a banquet., a feast, a sumptuous meal at Restaurant Narc. This is no drive-thru quicky, no fizzy water and sandwich grab from a street vendor, but a Bacchanalian indulgence of several courses with no expense spared as we cause you to gorge on our largesse, our charm and our illusion. Of course this feast will vary dependent on the type of appliance that we have invited to dine with us and in order of sumptuous extravagance, the pecking order is as follows:-

  1. Candidate IPSS
  2. Embedded IPSS
  3. Shelf IPSS
  4. Dirty Secret IPSS
  5. NISS (Colleague or Friend)

Familial NISSs are already seduced by reason of familial connection. If they have been pushed out into the cold and they must be brought back into the fold, they are treated as if they are a colleague or friend NSS. Tertiary Sources are given something delicious but quick to consume and it does not matter whether they want more or not, the main thing is that what they are given in the instant works for us.

Of those categories at 1-5, the common thread is that they are all treated to a delicious, enticing and magnificent feast which draws them in. It is all impressive and gets more and impressive as one climbs the rankings. This means that the recipients get used to the extent of this feast, how amazing it tastes, how delicious it feels to be at our table and becoming full on such wonderful treats and delicacies. This is how we cultivate the addiction to us, by feeding you such sensational dishes that you keep wanting more. You become used to the sensation of being almost satiated, your senses brought to life by what we deliver and you want to keep dining with us forever and a day.

Of course these delicacies which we send your way give the appearance of being fulfilling but ultimately are not, but you do not notice and instead you want to keep tasting them and therefore once we decide that we no longer need to keep providing you with these feasts, we instead opt to give you the crumbs of comfort.

These are little reminders of what you once had, to get the tastebuds firing again, to cause the saliva to flow, to stimulate the memory of those amazing sensations so you want them all the more and with each crumb you are conned into thinking that it will lead a trail to the groaning table of scintillating tastes once more. These crumbs of comfort are designed to keep you in the game, maintain your interest, stop you losing hope, ensure that you remain bound and loyal to us. Since they are crumbs, they are low maintenance for us, hardly taking any effort or energy at all, but since you are hooked on the taste from when we seduced you, once you allow one crumb to enter your mouth, the desire returns, the memories of delicious tastes and sensations loom large and you want more. You are given another crumb, then another, just enough to keep you from looking elsewhere and just enough to ensure you remain interested in us.

The rise of technology has really caused the conversational comfort crumbs to come into their own. Whilst they can be offered on the telephone or in person, that tends to result in the narcissist being placed under more pressure and their control is eroded to some extent. Instead, most comfort crumbs will be provided through text message, through e-mail or social media message. This allows the narcissist to retain control, compose an appropriate message and it is easier to sneak out a comfort crumb via text than speak with the relevant appliance in certain scenarios.

How then might these comfort crumbs operate with the five categories of appliance detailed above?

NISS (Colleague/Friend)

The comfort crumbs for this category do not need to be used extensively because the level of expectation is not as high. The colleague or friend will only engage with the narcissist periodically and therefore if the narcissist perceives there is a risk that the relevant NISS is drifting, he can throw out a few conversational crumbs and shortly thereafter deliver the ‘meal’ again. Delivery of this meal – namely time with the narcissist – is not a major expenditure of energy since it may just be an evening every month or so, the NISS does not make extensive demands and therefore all the narcissist needs to do is send a message such as

“Not caught up for a while – let’s have lunch next week.”
“Hey, not heard from you in a while, how do you fancy a game of squash a week on Thursday”

“How are you doing? We need to catch up over drinks. Pretty bombed until the 25th, how does that suit you. 7pm yes?”

“We haven’t talked about your promotion prospects recently. Let’s have a breakfast meeting beginning of next month. Please arrange with my secretary.”

“We should look at new marketing opportunities. How about we do so over lunch in a fortnight?”

Note there is the fixing of the ‘meal’ in the future and this crumb of comfort, letting the appliance know the narcissist still values them. This crumb will draw a fuelled response, keep the appliance interested and the narcissist does not have to expend much energy through the crumb nor the eventual ‘meal’.

Dirty Secret IPSS

The Dirty Secret may be content to hold this position or may be content for the time being with an expectancy of being brought forward in the narcissist’s world, to meet friends, be seen with the narcissist in public, meet family and so forth. The DS IPSS provides frequent bursts of fuel through clandestine meetings with the narcissist and therefore the narcissist will find maintenance of this element of the fuel matrix reasonably easy because it is a short-notice demand to meet at a hotel, in a car park, in a bar and the time involved will not be extensive.

Nevertheless, if the narcissist is occupied with other appliances in his fuel matrix (usually the IPPS but possibly an IPSS and NISSs) and is not able to meet up with the Dirty Secret he does not want them going off the boil and therefore he will ensure that she is kept interested with comfort crumbs.

“Last time was amazing, I don’t know how you do it, cannot wait for the next time.”

“We have to meet soon, I am going crazy without you.”

“When we next meet I am going to treat you to an afternoon at that new hotel we were speaking about.”

“Things are hectic at the moment, but I am trying to get things boxed off so we can have at last an overnight stay together, just as I promised.”

Note how we are enthusiastic about the Dirty Secret, praising them, stating how they deserve to be treated well or given more time, but there is no commitment to when this will happen. This is because the demands of the DS are greater than the NISS and given that infidelity is taking place, the ability to commit is not as clear. The comfort crumbs will be thrown around more liberally to entice the DS but there will not be a commitment.

Shelf IPSS

It is this category of appliance which suffers the most with regards to the provision of these conversational comfort crumbs. This is because the Shelf IPSS is picked up and put down, is regarded largely in a favourable light with an extended golden period, is not often devalued (and if so it is a short lived Corrective Devaluation) and the narcissist has made a significant investment in this person and wants the return on that investment.

The narcissist does not want to lose the IPSS and have to find another but when the narcissist is spending time with a different IPSS or is engaged in spending time with the IPPS (be that devaluation or more likely a Respite Period) the relevant IPSS will be placed on the shelf. Predictably, this person will be wanting to know when they can see the narcissist when they are next getting together. They may know about the IPPS but be concerned that the narcissist is spending time with the IPPS.

Note that these comfort crumbs are not used when the narcissist is first seducing this person to make them an IPSS but they are used when the IPSS is placed on the shelf and is angling to see more of the narcissist. The narcissist will use a vast array of conversational comfort crumbs with the IPSS – some will use charm, some seek sympathy or pity, other seeks understanding and others threaten. Examples will include

“Really busy at work at present, but I will call as soon as I am free.”

“Tied up with the children, so will be in touch tomorrow.”

“Schedule is packed for the next ten days,. I am dying to see you but we will just have to be patient.”

“I will tell her but now is not the right time, her father is ill and this has to be done properly, I know you will agree because you are understanding and I thank you for that.”

“I just need to get these next few weeks out of the way and then we can be together. There is no point in rushing it and causing more trouble than necessary is there?”

“I cannot make it tonight. I have to go to this family dinner. I wish you were coming with me though.”

“Look, there is no point getting worked up about this now, I am in the middle of a huge deal. I cannot talk. I have told you this and why are you risking fucking it all up? I said I will sort it and I will, but you have to give me time.”

“When I get through this period we will have a weekend away. I promise. You know it is you that I want, but I need to know I can count on you at this difficult time.”

“You know I have always delivered and the one time where I am under pressure, you start adding to it. I did not think you were like that. Look, I will check my schedule and make some time for us. Let me do that and we can have a good talk when we see one another.”

“Every night I lie there thinking about you and when we can finally be together.”

“I cannot wait for the time I come home and find you there waiting for me. I know we will make it happen together.”

“If you tell her about us, I will never speak to you again and you and only you will bring down this wonderful thing that you and I have together. Please do not do that, you will destroy me and destroy the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Once again these comfort crumbs come with no set time for delivery, no firm and definite time periods but they are designed to keep the IPSS hanging on. There are thousands of different ways that they are phrased and it is the IPSS who finds themselves in the role of Permanently In Waiting, kept interested from these crumbs but never finding their way to the table again, either at all or for some time.

Sometimes there might be a pile of crumbs provided whereby the narcissist engages in a telephone call or skype call instead of meeting up. This will be used to maintain interest, gain fuel and exert control.

The comfort crumb is used as a benign method of control because the narcissist does not want to use harsh and malign methods of asserting control for fear of losing a valuable appliance.

The Embedded IPPS

The comfort crumbs operate in a different way with the embedded IPPS. None of course are needed during their seduction or their embedded stage of the golden period. They will see plenty of the narcissist then.

The comfort crumbs will be doled out during the devaluation of the IPPS for the purposes of keeping them in place so that more negative fuel can be extracted whilst the narcissist works on prospective Candidate IPSSs (either finding them or seducing them).

It is likely (although not always the case) that the IPPS will live with the narcissist and therefore the comfort crumbs will be linked to finding a way to sort things out, achieving a resolution and such like.

“I think we need to sit down and talk things through when things are less hectic.”

“We can sort this mess out. I am determined to do so, but it has to be done at the right time.”

“I just want things to be the way they were.”

“I want us to resolve these problems, but there are too many distractions at the moment. Let me know when we can do this.”

“I will talk to you about our problems but now is not a good time. You know how busy I am with work.”

“We have to see what can be done, but you need to make some changes first for me to see before I can consider how me move forward.”

Again these are vague and amorphous and are designed to be. There is no true intent to resolve the issues but instead these comfort crumbs are provided to enable the victim to think that resolution (something an empathic person relies on and hopes for) is achievable and that the golden period can be returned to.

The Candidate IPSS

The Candidate IPSS is not given comfort crumbs because this appliance is in the ascendancy towards being crowned as IPPS and therefore they will be subjected to the bombardment that is love-bombing.

What have been your crumbs of comfort from the narcissist you entangled with?

 

13+
Advertisements

The Errors of the Ignorant – No. 3

TRY TOFINDMORETHINGSIN COMMON

A series based on the comments made by people who fail to understand the true nature of narcissists and the narcissistic dynamic. Whilst these comments may be well-intentioned, they are incorrect, perpetuate misunderstandings and in many cases create false hope, dashed expectations and perilous outcomes.

“Try to find more things in common.”

The instruction from the advisor is for the victim and the (as yet unidentified) narcissist to try to find more things in common. The confused victim has complained that once upon a time she and the narcissist once did so much together, they had so many shared interests, things in common, a mutual desire to experience certain things as a couple. Now, that has gone and fallen away. The victim does not understand what has changed.  Where once days were spent engaged in pursuits which both she and the narcissist enjoyed, talked about and planned, now the situation is very different. He is either locked away in the study ( the Bolthole), goes out who knows where or sits in the same room with mobile phone or tablet glued to his hand, rarely speaking.

The victim complains of feeling like the relationship has hit a rut, that it has somehow gone stale (oh how it has but not for the reason the victim realises) and is looking to understand how it can be invigorated with a return to those halcyon days of the golden period. The addictive qualities of that sensational time still infect the victim who understandably hankers for the relationship highs associated with that dizzying and scintillating time. The victim turns for help, explaining the trough that the relationship appears to have fallen into and listening to friend, family member, supposed relationship expert or whoever it might be as they listen and then offer this prescription in order to cure the ill that is being currently experienced.

I have see this suggestion made on the pages of an apparent experienced relationship advisor. The background that the writer detailed evidenced clearly the pattern that is recognisable (not to all though clearly) as that of the romantic narcissistic dynamic. The situation was clear and evident, but the response was that described above. The victim was urged to find more things in common in order to rekindle the excitement, interest and vibrancy of the early part of the relationship.

Note how the suggestion is for there to be ‘more things in common’ which presupposes that there was anything in common to begin with. No there was not. What you thought was a magnificent alignment of common interests was the effect of the mirroring that we narcissists engage in. We show you what you want so you fall in love with it. We show you yourself and thinking that it is someone else you fall for it hook, line and sinker. Our apparent enjoyment of fell walking was done to bind you to us. Our interest in Japanese cuisine was only done so you drew closer to us. Our enthusiasm for world cinema was driven by our unquenchable desire for your fuel. Since we saw the person that was going to fulfil our Prime Aims then your interests became our interests. Whether it happened to be morris dancing, medieval battle re-enactments or wine tasting. Whatever you enjoyed doing, we claimed to enjoy it as well, yet this was all fabricated purely for the purposes of ensnaring you. We attended the Star Trek convention with you, we volunteered to pick up rubbish on the local beach and to read the works of Lord Byron to one another. It did not matter because all we were concerned with was drinking up that wonderful positive fuel that you flowed with as a consequence of your enthusiasm, admiration, enjoyment and love for our supposed mutuality of interests.

This advice to try to find more in common is doubly dangerous.

Firstly, it causes you to believe that you actually had something in common in the first place. You did not. We created an illusion for you to fall for as I have described above.

Secondly, it causes you to keep trying to win our favour. You spend your time thinking of common interests that you can engage in with us. Indeed, you start to consider those pursuits which may not really interest you, but you try to find something that will interest us and you, because you want to save the relationship, you want the golden period back, you will go along with them because you are a good person who is trying to fix the slump in the relationship. Your advisor has led you down a dangerous path with such an instruction. This is because

  1. You are misled into believing that the problem can be fixed by you trying harder. It cannot but you do not know this and the supposedly wise advice compounds the error.
  2. You start to erode your sense of self as you actually move away from finding mutual interests to forcing yourself to do the things which we like.
  3. You may well engage in behaviours which you do not really enjoy but you go along with it because you think that if you can do something with us then you will meet with success. You start to make the sacrifices.
  4. You fail to realise that you are being devalued by a narcissist. You may be in the Stranger Zone at this juncture and whilst it is dull and bewildering, it is not the out and out abuse of the classic devaluation. This is a time when you might make good your escape from our clutches (if you had been properly advised) but instead you remain and leave yourself exposed to worse behaviours and abuses which will take their toll on you.
  5. You continue to plug away, trying to please us, suggesting things together, perhaps turning to those interests we once both engaged in. You will be met with either a lack of interest or your suggestions will irritate and then enrage us. By telling us what we ought to do together you are trying to tell us what to do (at least that is how it will appear from our perspective) and therefore we will feel the need to assert our authority over you by the unleashing of our manipulations. Not only will this hurt you, it will leave you feeling even more confused – you tried to do something good and enjoyable, you followed the advice which you thought would work – yet here you are shouted at, left in silence, berated and accused of being controlling and over-bearing. You are miserable, perplexed and no further forward. You keep trying to get it right but you cannot because you do not know what you are dealing with and you are only going to irritate and annoy us all the more.
  6. You become conned by the imposition of a Respite Period. Your suggestion of a bike ride through the countryside is met with a favourable response. You feel elated, it has worked, you have made a breakthrough and you have a wonderful day with us. You had no breakthrough. Your suggestion was irrelevant. It just happened to coincide with us applying a Respite Period. This supposed victory will just bind you to us for longer and then when you suggest such an outing in three weeks’ time (and this time we refuse and pour scorn on you) you are left perplexed again.

Once again, the ignorant have provided their advice which is useless when applied to one of our kind and all that follows is further misery for you.

8+

Good Intentions

GOOD INTENTIONS

I want to give you my perfect love.

I want to look over you, protect you and care for you. I want to spread my wings and shield you from any harm that might come your way. I want to see you smile. I want to hear your uplifting laugh. I want to see you shine.

I want you to feel adored and special, I want you to feel my love for you that is beyond anything you have ever known before.

I want to feel your gentle touch upon me, I want to engulf you in my all consuming and never bettered passion, I want you to moan in delight at my touch and caress.

I want to be with you every moment of every day. I want to hear your voice calling my name. I want to see your texts filling my inbox. I want to see your name listed several times amongst the missed calls.

I want to be your sun so I light up your life and you orbit around me. I want to be your sole giver of warmth and life, the very thing, the only thing that you come to rely upon.

I want to dress you in finery, the best that I can afford. I want to see you wear what I suggest you wear and that you put that dress on just for me.

I want you to breathe my air, letting it fill your lungs and tasting so sweet that you will never want to breather the air of another.

I want you to see the world through my eyes, I want you to think the same way as me, I want you to anticipate my thoughts ,words and deeds as if you are living through me.

I want you to be a part of me. I want you to not know where you begin and where I end. I want you to taste what I taste, hear what I hear and speak with the same tongue as me.

I want you to become within me, assimilated into my being, an extension of me. I want you to discard everything you have known before and embrace me in totality. I want you to cast away your identity, your support groups, your social networks and instead be utterly dependent on me for your every need.

I want you to forget who you were.

I want.

10+

The Grief, The Whole Grief and Nothing But The Grief

THE GRIEFTHE WHOLE GRIEF ANDNOTHING BUT THE GRIEF

 

Grief. You may think that this is an alien concept to our kind. It is and it is not. On the one hand we do not feel grief but we do understand what it is and what it engenders in other people especially those who are empathic in nature and who have been entangled with us. We have watched with an almost child-like curiosity when you have received news about the passing away of a relative. If this happened during the golden period, you at least received some false empathy in the shape of some fabricated support and understanding to make it look as if we at least cared in some way. If your pet died during the devaluation, a long-loved pet, then we will have watched your display of sadness, longing and grief with contempt and jealousy. We would not have supported you but instead said something to provoke you such as,

“I don’t know why you are so upset, it’s just a dog.”

So that you focused on us again rather than wallow in your own grief. We have witnessed grief in others, observed and learnt how it is displayed. We have listened (when it served a purpose for us) during the golden period as to how it makes you feel and stored all of this information away. We do not feel grief. We may exhibit is for the sake of appearances if this will garner fuel for us and to preserve the façade, but it is never felt. You however experience grief in an intense fashion, given your capacity to feel and to empathise. We have seen your grief over a deceased relative, a friend taken suddenly and violently in a car crash, the celebrity who you adored who has passed away after a long battle against illness. We know just how capable you are of grief and we know that not only does it have the potential to be a potent source of fuel but we recognise its paralytic effect on you. Grief takes a hold and has the capacity to prevent you from functioning effectively. Not only that, its paralysis is such that it can prevent you from escaping this state of grief, keeping you locked-in a grieving mode, unable to move forward. Grief is an intense emotion. We have seen this. From the wailing cries of a parent being told that their child’s body has been found after they have disappeared to the dignified grief of a war veteran stood in silence with a single tear trickling down his or her cheek as they pay tribute to their fallen comrades. Whether noise or silence accompanies this grief it remains a powerful emotion and naturally one that our kind is keen to draw on for the purposes of extracting fuel. We see grief as serving two functions. Keeping you in a state of paralysis and therefore it follows that you will keep pumping out potent negative fuel for us to extract.

Now, I am not suggesting that I will embark on some kind of killing spree slaughtering your pets, taking down your favourite celebrities and murdering your friends and family, in order to create this repeated state of grief. Whilst one might see certain attractions in doing so, the effort involved and moreover the considerable downsides to such a course of action mean that it is not one that we would embark on. No, instead there is an alternative way of looking to create an enduring state of grief on your part. We want you to grieve for us.

This does not involve us taking our own lives. We rarely commit such an act. We will threaten it, certainly, as part of a hoover, but we regard the world as needing us and therefore we will extremely rarely commit suicide. We will however cause you to grieve for us and we do this when we eventually discard you after a harsh devaluation. When this discard takes place we will leave you with three losses over which you will grieve. Your grief will be prolonged because there are three losses and thus this maximises not only the prospect of paralysis but also a longer period of the provision of potent fuel.

The first loss is the loss of who you thought we were. You were seduced and swept off your feet by this charming individual who mirrored everything you liked and disliked. We ticked all the boxes, we professed to be your soulmate, we gave you a perfect love, made every day special and had you excited to see us and hear from us. We created such a wonderful start to the relationship, unlike anything that you had experienced before. We understood you, we cared, we showed you such passion, we listened and engaged in those things which you always wanted to share with someone else. We wrapped ourselves around you, permeated your very core and entwined our lives so that you were never happier and you could never comprehend a time when such delicious rapture would end. But it did and how.

The loss of something so brilliant and splendid hurts you and feels like you have suffered a bereavement so intense and painful is the experience. Even though you hear the words that it was an illusion, that none of it was real and that you need to let go, it is still so hard to accept all of that and you miss us. Oh how you miss us. You miss that wonderful person we were at the beginning and you want that person back. No matter how many times you are told that he or she was just a creation, that it was an illusion designed to fool you and that we never loved you and never meant or felt anything we said to you, it is still incredibly hard to accept. Just like someone who cannot accept that someone who has died will not walk through the door at any minute, you cannot accept for a considerable time that the person you thought we were has gone. We know what you will be thinking (because we have caused you to think and feel this way) and although we may not always see your grief-ridden response to our absence we know what you will be thinking and feeling and this fuels us. Even greater is the fuel from your messages telling us you miss us, that you want the “old me” back and begging for another chance. Your grief for loss of the person that you thought we were, is both huge and prolonged.

The second loss that you sustain and grieve for is the loss of the potential that we showed to you. There was no doubting that we were brilliant at our job. You saw the plaudits and you felt the benefit, for a time, of the accompanying pay cheque. You saw the trophies amassed for our various achievements in different fields and you heard other people speak so highly of our accomplishments. The compassion, kindness and love that we showed to you and to others (although false) still causes you to think that somewhere we are truly capable of this goodness, if only we would harness it and let it be free. You have witnessed two things. The reality of our drive to be the best and the accompanying good that such drive and ambition brings – a surgeon saving lives, a scientist inventing cures, an entrepreneur creating wealth and jobs, a policeman making the neighbourhood safer, a teacher educating so many people to a high degree – means that our rampant desire to be the best has the considerable potential to actually do good for others. You also saw something in terms of the way that we treated you and as an empathic individual you still believe that this goodness can be freed and used to both our benefits so that we are both happy together. You came to regard us as a wounded and hurt person and in conjunction with your innate desire to heal and fix, you felt that if you could heal us then the mutual benefits would be amazing. There was so much potential waiting to be unlocked and utilised and now with our departure and your discard, that potential has been lost. You grieve this loss of opportunity and how things might have turned out oh so different. You want to turn back the clock, do things differently and the inability to do so causes you considerable grief and pain.

The third area of grief which you sustain from coupling with us is not grieving over us, but it stems from being with us and that is grieving the loss of your identity. Before we came along you were happy, independent, strong, bright, well-liked by family, friends and colleagues. You had many interests and you enjoyed life. Yes, there were flaws and vulnerabilities but you handled them as best you could as you forged a path through life knowing who you were. Then we came along.

We subsumed you into us. We eradicated your characteristics as we either stole them for our own construct to show the world or we eroded them through the steady application of our vicious manipulations. Your confidence evaporated, your self-esteem disappeared and your self-worth plummeted. You became steadily isolated, losing friends, neglecting your interests and even become distant with family. You allowed yourself to be fully consumed by us. It was entirely understandable how this happened because we wanted it to happen and we acted in a manner to cause it to happen, but nevertheless your loss of identity was a steady and insidious consequence of the grip we held over you. Now, as you sit alone, ruminating on what once was, grieving the loss of who you thought we were, the loss of the potential, you are also hit by the loss of who you were. You no longer recognise that face which stares emptily at you in the mirror each morning. The world is grey and drab, music sounds harsh and grating, conversations irritate and make you fearful, even your favourite foods taste like ash in your mouth. You have lost yourself and the sense of foolishness from allowing this to happen and the grief arising from such a loss is substantial.

This triumvirate of grief arising from entangling with us provides us with substantial fuel and we know that burdened by not just one or two, but three forms of grief, it will take you a long time, if ever, to escape the effects.

12+

Poll – Which Red Flags Did You Fail To Heed?

POLLHG WANTSTO KNOW

Red Flags. With the benefit of hindsight those flags were flying high but you failed to heed them. Did you think the now-known-narcissist was coming on strong by wanting to be with you all of the time, but you dismissed it as it felt good and exciting? Maybe the narcissist was already in a relationship when he or she targeted you citing those lies of “we are like brother and sister these days”, “we never have sex any more” or “he/she makes my life hell” ? Perhaps you noticed that the narcissist would be strangely unavailable for short periods of time, when usually he or she answered the phone within a nanosecond of you ringing them? Or was it the fact that you never got to meet any of his or her family or friends as you were only ever seen isolation?

You can pick as many answers as are applicable, but do so BEFORE pressing vote.

As ever, please expand in the comments section on your experiences and observations.

Thank you for participating.

Which red flags did you experience but failed to heed them?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
15+