The Prime Aims
I have three Prime Aims.
All of our kind has three Prime Aims.
Our dark and menacing behaviours (even when dressed up as the illusory golden period) are focused on the attainment of these three Prime Aims. They are all that matter. Everything else is dust. We are driven to secure these Prime Aims. They are hard-wired into us, they are sub-conscious requirements in most of our kind and amongst the Greater of our brethren we are aware of the necessity of attaining these three things to ensure that not only do we survive but we also thrive. Everything we do, say and concern ourselves with revolves around achieving these three aims. Nothing else matters.
Do we love you? No. We do not know what that truly is but we will use love or secure our Prime Aims. We will desecrate it through our twisted facsimile of what we understand love to be and use it secure our aims.
Do we want to do good for the disadvantaged around us? No. Yet, if such behaviour will ultimately benefit us through the establishment of a facade which can then be used to further our quest for these Prime Aims then we will become a trustee of that charity or organise a fund raiser for the Orphanage For Unwanted Monobrowed Children.
Do we want to be friends with you because we find your collection of unopened Star Wars figures fascinating. No. We do so because knowing someone with the best collection on the East Coast means that it works in favour of us in terms of attaining the Prime Aims.
Nothing we do is about you. It is all about securing our aims. Admittedly, there will be occasions where we are in alignment and our march with our dark troops by our side to the attainment of the Prime Aims means that you and others benefit. That is pure serendipity and we do not care whether the outcome is good or bad for you, so long as we achieve what we need.
The sooner you grasp and understand that we are focused on securing these Prime Aims and nothing else matters to us, the faster you will be able to formulate your own way to avoid being caught up in their attainment. The Prime Aims and their attainment is the only goal we are interested in and everything else is swept up in the need to achieve them. Children. Job. Home. Wife. Father. Daughter. Friend. Interests. Socialising. Conversations. Money. Status. Manipulation. Connections. Infidelity. Misery. Cruelty. Seduction. Possessions. These and so much more are mere conduits, enablers, bridges to the securing of the Prime Aims.
Never underestimate or fail to recognise the single-mindedness by which our machine like efficiency closes on this goal. You are there to ensure we achieve it. Our faceless Lieutenants and lurking Coterie are there to ensure we achieve it. The secondary and tertiary sources, the facade, the crows, the butterflies, the seduction, the devaluation and the disengagement. The hoovers, oft and repeated or seemingly absent, yet appearing years later are all part of the inextricably linked matrix to achieve the Prime Aims.
So, what are they?
Those of you who have read much of my work will already know what they are, but it is necessary to identify and underline them.
- Fuel
The chief Prime Aim. The most important one and the overriding objective of our engagements with everybody that we come into contact with. Fuel is the emotional response provided by you and everybody else, caused by us. It may be indirect, for instance someone smiling at us as we walk by, it may be direct because we have provoked you into crying by calling you names.
Fuel is both positive and negative. It flows from all appliances. It varies in potency dependent on the Fuel Index (see the book Fuel for an expansive explanation of this central factor of what drives our kind) and in terms of its quantity and frequency. Fuel powers us. It quells the anguish and the anxiety, it settles us, it edifies us, it makes us powerful and it causes us to feel impregnable, omnipotent and god-like.
It is our drug. We want it and we need it and it must be provided each and every day and we take it from those that we have established in our fuel network. From lover to lollipop lady, everybody and I mean everybody we interactive with is a fuel appliance. The words you use, the tone attached to them, the inflection in your voice, the gestures you make, the things you do, the expression on your face, the sounds you make – all of these provide us with fuel and it has to be caused by us.
If you are crying over the death of your mother, that is not fuel for us. It is fuel for your mother (albeit she didn’t need it when alive and certainly has no use for it now she is cold in the ground). Those tears are wasted and this infuriates us. Thus we will say something hurtful about your pathetic weeping so that you then cry because of what we have said. Your emotional response then is down to us and we gain fuel.
Fuel is the single most important thing to us. No fuel and we weaken and ultimately enter a Fuel Crisis.
2. Character Traits
We have built a construct. This construct is like a frame and through the gathering of fuel we are able to then power its maintenance and further development. This construct imprisons The Creature. This construct allows us to show the world what we want to see and thus gain more fuel and the cycle repeats.
Everyone we interact with has the potential to furnish us with character traits which we lift and apply to the construct to make it better, stronger, more attractive and more secure. Each piece of fuel is the paste which enables us to place the shards, segments, patches, pieces and elements of character traits onto the construct and keep them there.
If you wish to understand this in greater detail, read my book Fury.
Your interest in insects, a friend’s sporting achievements, a child’s academic prowess, information from a tertiary source about the best restaurant in Barcelona’s gothic quarter, the humorous anecdotes told by a speaker at an awards dinner, the tales told by a grandparent, the intelligence gathered by a colleague and so on, all of those things become character traits which we will take for ourselves and pass off as our own. We want them and need them from those we interact with. Some have nothing to provide and thus they are less important appliances, but others have many and thus your coruscating, dazzling traits when you are a primary source to us become fundamental as part of the Prime Aims.
3. Residual Benefits
Are you well-off? Have a good house? A car? Access to a particular club? Tickets for sought after games? A famous friend? Excellent carer? Brilliant cook? Social magnet? DIY capable? Good income? Respected community member?
We are entitled and we do not recognise boundaries. Your resources are our resources and the more of those that exist and in different forms, the greater the advantage you possess because of these residual benefits.
These vary dependent on the nature of the narcissist who has ensnared you. We may be financially superior and have a large house, but you are well-thought of by people and have an extensive social circle, political connections and the like, thus we want them.
We may have a physical health problem and therefore the fact that you are a nurse practitioner and exceptionally caring results in those residual benefits becoming the foremost ones.
We may have no job and a rampant cocaine habit, so your well-appointed residence and burgeoning bank account are appealing residual benefits to us.
The list of residual benefits is not exhaustive and they will vary from narcissist to narcissist, but they form a further essential part of this triumvirate.
Thus fuel, character traits and residual benefits are the Prime Aims. All appliances are expected to fulfil their obligation to provide us with each element of the Prime Aims, although it is naturally of greater importance concerning the primary source having such applicability.
Always keep in your mind the relevance of these Prime Aims because this will aid your understanding why certain things are said and done by our kind.
25 thoughts on “The Prime Aims”
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Question HG: what do you do with our character traits in the devaluation? You don’t need them anymore? You despise and ignore them? If you chose to be with a lawyer because you like her status, why would you despise her profession later on?
I just can’t believe it’s all just for contrast.
It depends on the needs. The traits may well be jettisoned because you are regarded as black, or if we see that they can serve a purpose for us, we will continue to use them, it all turns on doing what is best for us in the given situation at the time.
I heard my ex copy sentences said by somebody else and using them as his own😖
Sometimes I feel the urge to ask him why exactly he targeted me. I know it was my love for literature (although he doesn’t read fiction himself), my looks (because he brought that up often), my education, my idealistic view of the world (together with my hatred for certain things/people). Oh and that I was a vegetarian, I think. This was particularly odd to me because he ate meat when we met, then stopped while we were together and towards the end, when he was angry with me for no reason, went and ate meat, as if to “punish” me. Of course he denied this. During our last trip together, he came to the table for breakfast and there was bacon on his plate. For the record, I don’t care if other people eat meat, but I did realise that a couple of years ago he would have not shown up with bacon at the breakfast table. One of his current victims is vegan, so I guess he must have liked that whole “oh I care about animals so won’t eat them because you’re right, it’s wrong”.
I never mentioned money to him during the seduction period and I don’t think he would have had ways to find out that I will indeed inherit a lot of money one day. Or else I’d suspect that was one of his motivations as well. It may have become one later on, but I don’t think it was a primary one.
Also, the very things I think attracted him to me were things that were criticised later on. I was called “rigid” because I’m reliable and punctual, “negative” because I’m idealistic and I was told I’m “too skinny”*. Oh and it turned out that I even read too much hahaha.
*I think he secretly has somewhat of a fat fetish though, judging by some of the women he’s been with. But his mother wouldn’t like to see him with a fat woman so he goes for the ones that aren’t fat, unless he can hide them from good old mum.
Awesome, Karma! Let me know how it goes.
I had it all… and lost it all due to him!
I’m struggling to get back … almost there but the last piece is missing … my happiness! I again have a house, a job etc. but the happiness .. when will it come back? Sure I can laugh and enjoy certain things again but my will to strive and live is a roller coaster … but I hope the last piece will come back after his life is destroyed once and for all… I’ve been waiting for too long (slow process) so I had to put full force again to achieve it. I am strong and to smart for him… he can’t see it coming … Friday was my last and final revenge day. Thought I had to only hint the terrible things he is up to but it was too slow for my taste. Now I assured he will get what he deserves…. he will loose his business, his house and his dignity! What goes around comes right back around again… I was homeless .. he is soon homeless, I lost my well paid job… he will loose his job (and since he has no other skills he is completely lost), I lost my dignity and health … he will be shamed in his field and he will get sick.
Karma back at me? Nope .. got the t-shirt already! And since it’s all within the law I’ll be free to walk with my head up high while he is going to hell 😊
It’s been a rough week but it’s getting better and better after my nice chat with the police. Nothing linked to me so I guess when shit hits the fan … he’ll try to crawl back …and I’m no where to be found! They told me it will take about 1 mo for them to bring him down… I’ll have all the time in the world.
Have a lovely Sunday my fellow victims … and you too HG
Wow!
Why can I not get the word “leech” out of my head after reading this article…..it’s an awful word……I much prefer the word “coruscating”…….it’s a new word for me….I can’t wait to use it……I love the meaning of it and the sound of it…….HG I think you are giving me fuel via character traits!!!!!!!
HG, Would you concur that Leonard Cohen’s ‘ I’m your man’ is the philosofer’s stone, the very basis of how you snare your victims? My MRN used his songs profusely during seduction.. I always loved Leonard but now he just sounds so narc… do I make sense? What is your view?
Hello Gus On, I don’t know as I do not know that particular song, although I do know that if you want to tip someone over the edge to commit suicide making them listen to Leonard Cohen is a good way of achieving that.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I guess it’s safe to say I provided a ridiculous amount of fuel, character traits, and residual benefits…
What happens when a narcissist has embedded a primary source with only one prime aim, which is fuel? No traits or benefits. Is fuel alone sufficient? HG is the wizard of OZ of narcissism.
I’m not the Wizard of Oz, DE, I am real.
If the primary source has been embedded for fuel alone then it is highly likely that the narcissist is gaining character traits from other appliances to such a degree that they feel no need to do so from the IPPS and that the need for residual benefits is either not great (the narcissist may well be financially well off, have connections,etc) or they are being met by other appliances.
Their fuel alone is sufficient but if the matrix alters so the traits and benefits fall away and are not replaced, the IPPS may find themselves in difficulties. It is usually the case the IPPS is picked BECAUSE they satisfy all three Prime Aims but it is conceivable, albeit rare, for the IPPS to be chosen for fuel alone.
HG yes you are real…. love the feed back. Again you are saving my life from misery and heartache. I sleep better because of you. 1,000,000 thanks…. still not enough in my book. Dalu
You are most welcome DE.
….and into the valley of death rode the six hundered….
My dad was what I considered a mild narcissist. Everything was about him, attention, respect, needs met. But he wasn’t really mean, just very self-centered, angry when he didn’t get attention or respect, had to be listened to. He never cheated on my mom. He worked faithfully. He was an excellent provider. He was a faithful church goer but not what I would call a Christian in love with God. He could get verbally abusive when angry. He was hard on my mom on losing weight and with his jealousy. Do you think he was a lesser narcissist?
Sounds closer to a Lower Mid Ranger or Middle Mid-Ranger. I would also point out that with regard to cheating, you may be right, but you will not know for sure.
Thank you, H G. Your blog has been very helpful to me.
You are welcome BekaM.
HG, My daughter’s father is a somatic, lower, greater narc. Overall, he has a magnetic, and charming demeanor. However, in some situations, his charisma turns into histrionic behavior. These are situations where he feels he needs to compete with me. He suddenly shows up to appointments for our daughter and makes a scene, asking a ton of questions, having anxious energy, keeping people from moving on from their duties because he feels entitled to their time. I have had Doctors ask me to tell him we need to “move along” with the appointment, I have had nannies say They don’t want to work with him anymore because he is “negative and dramatic” . What is with the histrionic behavior, if it only serves as a testament that they are the crazy one in the community and possibly the courts?
It is unusual behaviour for a Greater and more akin to the behaviour of a Mid Range Narcissist who senses that control of the situation is escaping them and as a consequence they then engage in this behaviour in an attempt to assert control once again by bringing attention on to themselves.
HG, I think you are on to something here. I was thinking he was a greater because of how strategic, malignant, and successful he is. However, after just reviewing what an Upper Middle Ranger is, I think he may be more of one of those, he just has a malign obsession with me, so I always see his worst and he wants so badly to put me in my place. This is actually a relief to know he is a middle ranger. He ultimate goal is to compartmentalize and with hold for power. Now that I see this, it changes my game plan completely. Thanks HG
You are welcome ANM.