The Perfect Ten of Seduction
The Perfect Ten Sentences of Seduction
What is really meant when we say these words.
1. I love you and I always have
My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love in the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me. My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that they are thrown to one side. I love the fact you fuel me, allow me to steal traits of your for my own use and you give me shelter, meals and money.
2. We are soulmates
I know you are a big believer in emotional concepts such as love, spirituality and the soul. I need to tap into that and I need to do so quickly. I want to suggest that our love goes beyond this earthly plane on which we stand and it is something all the more ethereal and noble. That ought to impress you and cause you to become bound to me. I am not your soul mate, I am here to steal your soul because I do not have one.
3. I have not loved anyone like this before
There will be half a dozen willing witnesses who will testify to the contrary. In my world however I have deleted them from my mind (except when I fancy hoovering them and triangulating them with you for some extra fuel) and there was nothing like what I feel for you now. They are defunct and redundant, an unfortunate reminder of an abuser who trapped me. They do not matter now, you are all that matters to me now, your fuel, to be accurate, is all that matters to me now.
4. I want us to be together forever
There is no want about it. We are already locked together forever. You may not think this and indeed somewhere along the line you will want to escape me, although quite why that is when you are the problem, is beyond me. Anyway, that is for later. Right now you have agreed (although you will never recall having said such words to that effect) to remain my property for the rest of your life. This means that everything you own, have and are now belongs to me and I will deal with it in whatever fashion I see fit. I will use and abuse you over and over again as this is my right. Just when you think I have disappeared I will be back more. This is a life-long covenant.
5. We have so much in common
What a wonderful occurrence, such serendipity that everything you like I like as well. Even better, all the things that you do not like, I do not like either. It as if we are two halves of one perfect person. That is exactly what I see because all I will do is mirror you. I have spent time watching you, observing you, finding out about you from friends and scouring your internet footprint in order to learn as much as I can about you so that I can present myself as mirror image. I actually cannot stand listening to Coldplay but that isn’t going to stand in the way of my replication so I seduce you with incredible speed and ease.
6. I hate it when we are apart
A rare nugget of truth here. I do hate it when we are apart but for the reasons I have made you think. You think it is because I miss the wonderful, kind, humorous and delightful you. I actually miss all that positive fuel you supply me with when we are together as you are taken in by this illusion that I have created. Moreover I hate the fact that when I am not with you I cannot control your environment and I am concerned that with space to think and breathe you may just see through what I am doing or even worse, you may listen to one of your so-called friends who will be whispering in your ear and briefing against me. I don’t want your head turned elsewhere. I want it looking at me. Always.
7. Nobody can love you the way I do.
Amazingly another piece of truth. Nobody else can love you in this way because none of it is real. This is all made-up in order to attract you and bind you to me because if you saw what I was really like (not that I would ever allow that to happen) you would run screaming and never return. Accordingly, I will love you in a way that you are unlikely to have experienced before by deluging you with desire and then nearly destroying you through malice and vitriolic hatred. Told you I was special.
8. I can’t believe we have only just met. I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s live together.
It feels familiar to me because you are giving me positive fuel just like your predecessor and the one before her and the one before her as well. I do not distinguish between you, not really, because you are all appliances to me which I want to ensnare and then drain as you pump out delicious fuel for me to consume. I say this though to make you feel special and because I am obviously so wonderful and brilliant you will be thrilled that someone like me wants to live with you. This will make you grab this marvellous opportunity before you lose it and then I have ensnared you.
9. I need you. I want you. I love you.
Sounds dramatic and romantic doesn’t it? Makes you feel as if everything is focussed on you and I could not live without you. Notice how many times I used the word “I”? That’s because this is all about me and nothing to do with you save for what you can do for me. I really mean that I need your fuel, I want your fuel and I love your fuel.
10. You have saved me.
Yet more drama straight from the romantic handbook. I know your type. That is why I chose you. You like to fix, heal and save. You will have plenty to do in that regard, believe me, but that will come later. For now what I really mean is that you have saved me having to look anywhere else for fuel. Time to feed.
15 thoughts on “The Perfect Ten of Seduction”
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He said most of these during the GP. The two from the list that trigger me was when he begged me to move in with him which I refused and #10 which, in my ignorance of narcissism, left me perplexed. I wrongly assumed he was referring to some past trauma or was simply exaggerating for effect. I replied that no-one can “save” another person. Thanks to your enlightened blog I now understand what he meant. My responses must have been crushing and I wonder if the seeds of devaluation had all ready been sown in those first two weeks?
The sad and maddening thing is how wide the chasm is between narcs and empaths. We are not mind readers. We CANNOT know what’s in the mindset of a narcissist – until it’s too late of course.
The chasm can be separated by a stream or an ocean, but it will drown all us Empaths just the same! Only we can save ourselves from the machinations of those Narcs. It’s true, Scout!
“And I will always love you.” Text reply that I found a little strange seeing as how we were just starting to become more friends than acquaintances, but of course it worked for him. Or after our first friendly dinner “I know you are married, but I want you to know you are my girl.” Again, thought that was a strange thing to say, but again didn’t run. “Nobody loves the way I do.” Yep, you’ve certainly got that right. Boy do I feel stupid for being suckered in by his words. I saw the red flags, but let myself get sucked in anyway because “he’s such a good Christian and everybody adores and loves him, so surely he can’t be bad.” Nope, he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing alright. He even told me “I can be good, but I can also be bad.” Gotta start listening to those spidey senses!
Number 1 and I believed it wholeheartedly.
I miss you when we are not talking.
I am addicted to you.
Ah! Life’s ironic- as I read this post I am receiving my 72 hoover email.
Here are a few such phrases from that very email :
“I love you. I love you”
It’s written twice. Writing it just once is soooo entry level.
” You were the first and last woman who taught me what love is”
“I will never love anybody like I loved you”
AKA #3
“I was very very happy to be in love with you”
That’s not the impression I got when he was smashing the furniture
“I think of you every day and every minute ”
…and there’s plenty more where those came from.
He never said any of these things to me! He only talked about how he loved being naked. That and texting me non-stop. I told a few friends about his remarks about being naked and they told me “that’s just creepy. Don’t talk to him anymore”. I wish I had listened to them.
Only ten!? I could write a book filled with these.
# 9. his last words to me although he used them in past tense .. I’ve read them about a 1000 times they’d pull at my heart like the string section in a symphony orchestra ..thanks for adjusting those strings HG. They suddenly sound very flat and out of tune
I’ve been with a narcissist for 18 months (breaking up about every two weeks- only to have him do and say all the right things to get me back)
For the first time I told him I told all the reasons I love him and how much I think of him and that I want him to get better so we can have a future . HIs response was not what I anticipated and I’ve barely heard from him since (usually he can’t go more than an hour without texting me ) and then yesterday after I hadn’t heard from him , I told him I can’t do it anymore , and he said okay and shifted blame on me (as usual) the difference is :I haven’t heard from him since . And I’ve text him 4 times .
What are your thoughts to this ? What do u perceive will happen next ?
You have recognised what you are with. You will be pushed and pulled repeatedly. Instigate no contact. You should seize control rather than be controlled Bonnie.
Sorry, some technical problems
I wanted to put your words in my first comment, but I don’t see them appearing:
I am here to steal your soul because I do not have one.
That’s exactly what he did too. I am not the same person I once was. It makes me sad.
Sounds so sad:
Do you realy mean it, dear HG?
Yes to all these 10 statements…oh god ! when you see it in black and white it makes me feel how gullible and utterly trusting I was.