I wonder about this too. I think for anyone codependant on something the only way to need it less is to go without it and go thru withdrawals in a sense facing your fears and being uncomfortable. Thats me talking from a non narcissist view so im not sure if itd be the same for a narcissist. One thing for certain is there has to be a motivation to change or any therapy will go by the wayside.
Most clever, HG. Your site is a long overdue and highly accurate resource in this day and age. You helped me to see those Narcs for the first time, unmasked; True evil. A couple of them even hiding out in my own family! Just as I always suspected… I can see vividly how they stir the pot and torment us Empaths. I recently escaped the Narcissists in my life. Even though it might not constitute more than a drop of fuel to you from a remote Empathic source I’ll be forever grateful to you for the freedom your wisdom helped give me, Sir. 🙂
Years ago I walked into a Psychiatrist office so depressed I could barely function, I could not see him for very much time due to the cost then later a Free University Psychologist, They helped me but it was years later when I read a book about Narcissism that I knew what the issue was.
Hey HD,
just wondering how long you could have gone from the all the fuel you would have gotten after telling (If you had a ex with kids of course lol) your ex that just had your last child , “is it ok if I drop the other 3 off at the hospital with you instead of taking them all the way home? I mean your going there anyways and I have a date. Plus i can see the baby again before you take her home. ” it’s kinda like a double whammy, right? First the humiliation of having to drive yourself home after just having a baby and second knowing that your ex is out on a date having a great time while you’re at home with 4 kids. Just wondering cause it’s in my top 5 biggest asshole moves in our 12 year Hell! But I will say I didn’t know what he was 6 years ago but love that I somehow never showed any emotion when he did that.
Thank you for doing this! Reading all these really helps with knowing I wasn’t crazy and didn’t do anything wrong to get this treatment. And to hear from other survivors is also very helpful with the healing process. Thanks again
Ha ha YES!!! Let’s feed the beast ☺️ I did it! I feed him for so long until I did not want to live anymore … until I meet someone new … have to admitt I was scared he would not live up to the standards after the Narc.. not to get love bombed nor “let’s get married, live together, have kids .. you are the best I’ve ever had” … was hard .. yet sex was amazing .. Narc out of the system and I’m fine with not feeding him my fuel anymore .. I’m doing great with a “normal” relationship now. So stop feeding them and get on with your life .. and stay the hell away from them is the best medicine
Yes you can!!! Took me several years, massive therapy and HG to do it.. wished I found HG sooner… would have saved me from doing so many mistakes!
I promise that you can… just heal and understand that you are amazing ❤️
Amongst the lessers, I have noticed a minimum of 3 addictions: smoking 2-3 packs a day, drinking and overeating are the top 3. There is one lesser who is an alcoholic and a heroin addict. Whether it is feeding or anesthetizing, it is astounding to contemplate.
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I wonder if the need for fuel changes in anyway if the narcissist is in long term/ ongoing therapy with a competent therapist.
I wonder about this too. I think for anyone codependant on something the only way to need it less is to go without it and go thru withdrawals in a sense facing your fears and being uncomfortable. Thats me talking from a non narcissist view so im not sure if itd be the same for a narcissist. One thing for certain is there has to be a motivation to change or any therapy will go by the wayside.
Most clever, HG. Your site is a long overdue and highly accurate resource in this day and age. You helped me to see those Narcs for the first time, unmasked; True evil. A couple of them even hiding out in my own family! Just as I always suspected… I can see vividly how they stir the pot and torment us Empaths. I recently escaped the Narcissists in my life. Even though it might not constitute more than a drop of fuel to you from a remote Empathic source I’ll be forever grateful to you for the freedom your wisdom helped give me, Sir. 🙂
Thank you Dark Angel K and you are most welcome.
Years ago I walked into a Psychiatrist office so depressed I could barely function, I could not see him for very much time due to the cost then later a Free University Psychologist, They helped me but it was years later when I read a book about Narcissism that I knew what the issue was.
Hey HD,
just wondering how long you could have gone from the all the fuel you would have gotten after telling (If you had a ex with kids of course lol) your ex that just had your last child , “is it ok if I drop the other 3 off at the hospital with you instead of taking them all the way home? I mean your going there anyways and I have a date. Plus i can see the baby again before you take her home. ” it’s kinda like a double whammy, right? First the humiliation of having to drive yourself home after just having a baby and second knowing that your ex is out on a date having a great time while you’re at home with 4 kids. Just wondering cause it’s in my top 5 biggest asshole moves in our 12 year Hell! But I will say I didn’t know what he was 6 years ago but love that I somehow never showed any emotion when he did that.
Thank you for doing this! Reading all these really helps with knowing I wasn’t crazy and didn’t do anything wrong to get this treatment. And to hear from other survivors is also very helpful with the healing process. Thanks again
Hello Kami, the fuel will depend on the reaction of the recipient of that provocation as opposed to the manipulation itself.
Ha ha YES!!! Let’s feed the beast ☺️ I did it! I feed him for so long until I did not want to live anymore … until I meet someone new … have to admitt I was scared he would not live up to the standards after the Narc.. not to get love bombed nor “let’s get married, live together, have kids .. you are the best I’ve ever had” … was hard .. yet sex was amazing .. Narc out of the system and I’m fine with not feeding him my fuel anymore .. I’m doing great with a “normal” relationship now. So stop feeding them and get on with your life .. and stay the hell away from them is the best medicine
Thank you, Karma. If you can do it, then so can I.
Yes you can!!! Took me several years, massive therapy and HG to do it.. wished I found HG sooner… would have saved me from doing so many mistakes!
I promise that you can… just heal and understand that you are amazing ❤️
Dear HG
Does it mean that everywhere I go there will be somebody interested in my delicious fuel?
If there are narcissists in the vicinity, yes.
?!
What about normals and empaths?
I know they don’t NEED the fuel, but everybody LIKES it…
Am I right?
No.
Who does NOT like to receive the admiration and the love (the positive fuel)???
It is different.
Amongst the lessers, I have noticed a minimum of 3 addictions: smoking 2-3 packs a day, drinking and overeating are the top 3. There is one lesser who is an alcoholic and a heroin addict. Whether it is feeding or anesthetizing, it is astounding to contemplate.
They need fuel to keep the fake self up and running.
Correct.
“Feeeeed me”
I hear the plant from little shop of horror
I remember this moovie!
And the biiiiiig plant saying: “feeeeeeeeed me!” just before eating somebody.
Or what?
I think it should say, “Everywhere I go I must be fed.” Ive learned that narcs are so immature, cildren in grown up bodies!