The March of the LoveFrauds
You died the moment you met me.
My kind are engaged in wholesale slaughter. A daily massacre. Nobody is stopping us either.
These massacres are not literal deaths. No, they way I leave you I believe that you may actually prefer to be dead in order to end the pain. The unrelenting pain and misery that I will inflict on you. What I kill is your confidence, your self-esteem and your sense of worth. I annihilate your finances, obliterate your friendships, shred your sanity and drive an icy cold dagger through your very being. You see, people like you pride yourselves on being honest, decent and understanding. That’s what makes you so attractive to me. That’s what makes the killing all the more complete.
You may think that I am an awful human being and that I revel in the consequences of my behaviour. For some of my kind that is right and for others it is not. Some of my kind have no awareness of what they and believe that what they do just has to be done. Others of my kind know exactly what we do. I am not concerned about how you feel. I have no interest in your reaction to what I do. All I am focussed on is what your emotional reaction does for me.
People are stupid. They need everything to be labelled, to be categorised and pigeonholed. They need great big flashing neon signs telling them what people are as they are too idiotic or lazy to try and work it out for themselves. See the man in a dirty raincoat with unkempt hair that hangs around the children’s playground? He is a child molester. Look over there at the man with a striped shirt and a bag with the word ‘Swag’ on it. He is a burglar. What about the lady in dirty, piss-stained clothes, mumbling to herself and trying to feed the pigeons stones? Oh she is a madwoman. That is what people expect to see. Ask anybody to draw a picture of a murderer and ninety-nine times out of a hundred, they will draw a crazed looking man, dressed in black, carrying a knife or a gun. They won’t sketch their spouse or their relative. Ask a person where they will most find a rapist and they will answer that he will be lurking behind a bush near the subway ready to leap out on some stranger. What they won’t do is point at their boyfriend sat next to them watching television.
And that is where the problem lies. You expect to be able to recognise those that will cause you harm in such an obvious manner. It isn’t like that. There is a reason that those dangerous people are able to hurt in the way that they do. It is because they are all around you. They are sat next to you in your car. They stand with you at the water cooler or in the lift. They talk to you at the school gates or serve you your daily coffee. They permeate society. That is what makes them so effective. The ability to blend in and hide in plain sight. How many times have you heard the neighbour interviewed about the horrific murder of a family by the father, say,
“He always seemed so friendly and happy.”
Or.
“He kept himself to himself.”
Or.
“He was a quiet man. I never thought he had it in him.”
Or my favourite.
“You don’t expect these things to happen here do you? You always think it couldn’t happen here.”
These people appear as innocuous as they are so ordinary and fit with their surroundings. They have masked what lurks beneath. These people, the drug dealers, the killers and the abusers were ordinary. They were themselves and they made no attempt to hide or be different.
This is what makes me so dangerous. I make a conscious attempt to blend in with those around me. I am a shape shifter. I take on the characteristics of my victims, mirroring what they love and enjoy. I become what you want me to be. You have always wanted to meet the successful business owner. I am he. How about the well-read bookish fellow who enjoys the theatre and some amateur dramatics? I can be him as well. You just love people who have travelled extensively? Let me tell you all about my yearlong world tour. Rock nut? Done. Singer? Do re me fah so lah ti do. Family man? No problem. I will morph and twist into these ideal people and in so doing I will slide my tendrils around you with insidious ease and pull you into the full horror of my world.
You are not able to see me coming. I hide behind a thousand masks. The bad people I have described above make no real effort to inveigle their way into your world. They are already there. They are part of your day-to-day life and you are unlucky that you just happened to be near them when they struck. I am completely different. I have come after you. I have marked you out as my prey and circled you, preparing to strike. I engage in subterfuge to further my aims and to enable me to glide in and out of people’s lives with slippery ease. I suddenly appear. Oh, there may be some existing connection admittedly, but that is all part of the preparation. When I actually enter your life I do so in a blaze of deliciously disorientating glory that has you rooted to the spot and gagging for more, such is the addictive nature of my behaviour.
All my work is done before I engage you. That is why your execution takes place the moment we meet. All else that follows is merely your elongated death throes and believe me, do I like to drag them out for the maximum of effect. I even pretend to try and resuscitate you from time to time. That’s just a ruse to enable me to suck more of the life from you. You may regard that as twisted. I don’t care. So long as I am able to feed, that is all that I care about. I must feed. Each and every moment to try and satiate this insatiable hunger that rages inside me. I think that the hunger can be sated but somehow, it never seems to be the case.
Thus my killing goes on and on and on. Victim after victim piling up and the beauty of it all is that I merely slip on another mask and melt away to find another unfortunate. I walk away leaving chaos and destruction in my wake but I never look over my shoulder.
Should you fear me? Absolutely. Sadly, for you, you don’t know what to look for because I do not come into your life bearing a warning. Once I have emotionally slain you, only then might you recognise the danger a second time but of course, by that point the damage is done. Amazingly, some of you come back for more. Incredible isn’t it? Sometimes it is with me or sometimes with another of my kind. The effect is the same however. Another excruciating death.
The beauty of all of this is that nobody can touch me. Those who might try to bring the sanction of criminal penalties against me usually fail. They either won’t do it because they still love me or that somehow they think they can save me and they would rather do that. There are others who are so broken they blame themselves and not me. Others again are so utterly destroyed they do not have the strength to take action. The very few that do not fall at these hurdles soon realise that my innate charm, my myriad of lies and irresistible powers of persuasion mean that actually getting the criminal law to apply to me is nigh on impossible. It is only right. The rules are not meant for me.
All of this means that next to nobody recognises my kind when we first choose you. Why would you? We bear no mark or label. We do not appear as some stereotype. We do not look like abusers but then what do abusers look like? They look like me. Him. Her. That man sat across from you on the train in his suit reading a quality broadsheet. The headmistress who crochets around the clock and is a committed Christian. The abuser looks like the construction worker downing his gallon of beer before weaving his way home. He looks like the quiet neighbour. The shy teenager. The earnest music teacher. The gregarious uncle. Him. Her. Them. You do not see us coming. You had no chance. Society repeatedly fails to identify what we are and how we operate. It downplays what we do with a host of euphemisms and woolly descriptions because people cannot accept that somebody who is so pleasant to them can then be so horrible too. Yet, that is precisely how we operate. Would you trust someone who punched you in the face when they first me you? Of course not. You’d trust him after three years of marriage before the first blow landed though wouldn’t you? You would not trust the fraudster if he stole ten thousand pounds on his first day at work, but after five years of solid and loyal service you would not think twice that he was forging signatures and diverting funds to his personal bank account. Society and people are too ready to apply labels which diminish the impact of what we do and what we are. You can attest to the horrendous damage that we do, you know better than anybody else of the impact that we have and yet you have to listen to people talking about how he is “misunderstood”, “under pressure”, “not normally like that”, “must have been provoked”. These well-intentioned people cause considerable damage as the ignorant apologists for the carnage we unleash.
Now you know what we are, you can identify us with ease. You can now think back to all the people you have interacted with and now you see us as if we have been daubed in bright red paint. Your colleague at work. The “difficult” customer. Your mother. Your brother. That friend who upset you one week and then fawned over you the next. The lovers. The celebrities. The politicians. More and more of us are identified by you and yet still we are able to do what we want and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. Society does not identify us. Society does not understand what we are. Society is utterly ineffective in tackling us. Our numbers are growing and our devastating impact on the lives of all those we entangle (and it is never just the one person is it) grows but what is being done? Do the politicians know us (save when they look in the mirror)? Do the police officers understand what we are? The nurses? The social workers? The judges? The court appointed psychiatrist? The jury? The neighbours? The teachers? The local government officials? All those who might be able to do something to address what we are rarely know what we are leading to greater frustration for you and the continued advancement of our agendas.
Nobody is stopping us.
What are you going to do about it?
25 thoughts on “The March of the LoveFrauds”
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Not me. As an obsessed truth seeker I’m blabbing to all and sundry about displays of disordered behavior whenever encountered in the wild. I just don’t use the word “narcissist” because it’s overused and misused. “Asshole” substitutes fine in most situations. Anyone who wants to learn more has to ask me before I speak the password.
A sensible approach.
“Nobody is stopping us.
What are you going to do about it?”
The answer to that lies within the next generation of narcs in the making……there is little that can be done with the narcs already in existence in an adult capacity. The only chance there is, in my opinion, is to attempt to reverse, subdue or eliminate the narcissistic traits in children, so that they do not grow up to be fully fledged narcissists. The older generation narcissists will die out in time……sorry to be the bearer of bad news HG!!!!!………Diva
So, you are not going to do anything to evade existing narcissists, or tell people how to spot our kind? You are not going to educate people of the signs to look for, to dispel the myths and explain how certain behaviours are actually those of a narcissist? Instead you will wait a generation. The march continues.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr
The key words to these words are ……..the wisdom to know the difference.
We can jump up and down and holler and scream, but the sad fact remains that all current adult narcs in existence will highly likely not be changing their ways, or going anywhere until they die out. We are really not able to evade them completely because we will meet them everywhere, they are someone’s mother, father, son, daughter, work colleague etc. Evading your kind is exactly that…….evading……if one person evades a narc, then the narc will seek out another person…….and another and another….evading simply masks the problem as opposed to addressing it, as you are not only evading the narc but also the problem.
I did not state to wait a generation and simply do nothing…..I stated my belief that eliminating your kind via tackling the younger generation would be far more productive. However it will take a generation before it bears fruit. For example……at the school my children attend there is a new programme called “Roots of Empathy.” This programme has Empathy at it’s core and there is a Roots of Empathy Instructor that has received intensive training. Apparently this programme has been ongoing in Canada for years and the impact has been positive. I am sure that these instructors will be able to suss out the children with no empathy fairly swiftly, although I have no idea if there is any follow up on those children that they note may have an issue. The course has not yet started. I am not stating that this one programme will solve all or indeed anything, but I am stating that I believe that the root of the narcissist problem needs to be addressed at this very level, if there is to be any chance of reducing or eliminating it in future years……..Diva
Of course we will share and warn those willing to listen. We will educate other’s using our real life experiences and knowledge gained from H.G. blog, books, and other resources.
H.G. your work will not be in vain. It doesn’t appear that social media or web traffic are shifting the other way. They have more access to empaths and sadly it doesn’t have to be on social media or dating site. I was on a exclusive site for women apparel, recently they allowed men and children. The flood gates flew open it’s ridiculous, single dad’s, widows, some have turned their profile to dating profiles.
We may not be able to stop them however, we have the tools to inform other’s and protect ourselves . Feel sorry or forgive from a distance. Self preservation is key otherwise we are useless to self and others
Thank HG
This will be the perfect beginning, I hope you don’t mind me using this
I don’t.
Thank you
I have been spending time on another forum, Ha ha cheating on you jk, yet in all seriousness I am very concern at how many “see” the abuse yet will still look away or give an excuse for why.
I hope many will see the accuracy of your work and gain knowledge and wisdom from it.
I remember as my grandparents and I dined together and asked them “How to understand who is who?”.
My grandfather said “If something looks and smells like a sh*t, it is a sh*t”.
My grandmother added “Non only looks and smells, but internally FEELS”.
Then I asked “How to recognize that someone really loves and respects you?”.
And my grangmother said “Behavior”.
When she noticed my puzzled facial expression, she said “Love is not a feeling. It is a BEHAVIOR”.
My grandfather said “Hmm…Interesting suggestion, darling. Do I love you?”.
And my grandmother laughed and said “It seems, yes”…
Later I modified my grandmother suggestion – “Love is not a feeling. It is a LONG-STANDING non-abusive and respectful behavior”. The short-term “infatuation” means nothing to me. The long-term “behavior” does.
So damn true. Sent it to a beat writer at our local paper who pretends to care about human interest stories. He thinks what a skid row bum is to alcoholism abusers are as well. I said if you’re interested in a TRUE story what abuse REALLY looks like have a read. If not interested in the human element, pass it to a colleague who does.
“When I actually enter your life I do so in a blaze of deliciously disorientating glory that has you rooted to the spot and gagging for more, such is the addictive nature of my behaviour.”
Yep. Gagging for more. So true.
The crocheting Christian? Don’t forget the church recital Piano man! (thank you again for that hilarious nick name Jenna, it makes me laugh every time I type it….)
Glad i could make u laugh gabs.
‘What am I going to do about it?” Educating myself about NPD then spreading the word. Society has to wake up to NPD and other serious disorders and destructive psychopathic behaviour for the benefit of society as a whole.
Spread the power, Scout.
Now that I am aware of narcs I can not help but thinking that they do have a place in society…….not in my home!!!……but in society. To some degree we need them. For example…..what about the person that has to infiltrate a drug trafficking or child trafficking ring on the behalf of the FBI or MI6. Would a normal person be able to pull this off? Not a chance. Who better than a greater narc……being able to infiltrate, morph and shape shift into whoever they need to be to get the job done. Most of us would balk at the mere thought of having to deal with these kind of people, knowing what they do, however the narc would have no problem. They have no conscience, no empathy, little fear, a competitive nature, all that matters is the result. They would not be sitting there later with PTSD stressing over what they had witnessed or done. The fact that they have no feelings make them perfect for such roles within society. I also believe that they would be good intelligence officers, watching, hiding in plain sight and reconnaissance missions. (as HG has done himself so often albeit for personal reasons.) It would not surprise me if many in the SAS were in fact narcs………….anyway I believe there is a place in society for these individuals, as bad as they may be, to do some good. They are no different to a challenging child…..we need to challenge them and channel their strengths, of which they have many……..what else can we do with them? I guess in effect, what I am suggesting is not too far removed from what HG is doing on this blog with us……a bad man doing a good job…….Diva
Noticed I used Nice words.
HG this is Provacation on your part. Your writing is on Fire and Spot on, yet it seems u tell all Empaths to just walk away an tell ourselves how
stupid we have been an HA HA…
How about a Article for a JAB Back…
See 5 Post Disengagement (Discard) Revenge Jabs.
Yes, i feel sad for all the victims. They do not deserve the fraudulent behavior and its aftermath. But i feel sad for the narcs too. They are dependent on fuel. It must be a horrible feeling to always depend on others for ur existence. I just hope u can rely on only positive fuel instead of negative someday. 🙏
personally, i found a military bomb squad guy to defuse the monster’s bomb in my heart.
“What are you gonna do about it?”
Ignore it. Not give a damn.
The End.
Best revenge ever!!
*sings happy song in an operatic tone*
So selfish, you’re such a narc!
You’re welcome! 😁
Thanks for the precious info, Mr. HG Tudor! 😎
Pleasure.