Parasite
You fed off me and I am sick of it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my magnetism, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am magnanimous I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to annoy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my charm, my attractiveness, my easy manner with people and how they are drawn to me and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted some of that. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my impeccable reputation, my scintillating presence and my esteemed connections. I do not blame you for wanting to be associated with me, who would not? Who would not want such a slice of the action as me? The opportunity to move in circles that you had never experienced before. The chance to be somebody. The time to clamber upwards from the tedious life you led and the doldrums in which you festered. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to be a part of that world. You certainly did become part of that world as well. You enjoyed my extraordinary largesse as you accepted my gifts, my invitations and my cold hard cash. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed your friends and family to become part of my entourage, they certainly had no qualms about getting on the gravy train did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were always only ever my friends. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking. Is it little wonder that my irritation became annoyance? That my annoyance became fury? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I had to stop this. I had to find someone who would give rather than take and that meant I had to be rid of you. That is why I chose someone else to escape your leeching and draining behaviour. That is why I cast you aside. You are a parasite.
You fed off me and I am sick with it. You attached yourself to me drawn by my goodness, but I never asked you to. You just decided that you wanted to be with me, you need me, truth be told and because I am the kind and caring person that I pride myself on being, I allowed you to attach to me but as of late your taking and leeching has begun to destroy me. You cannot deny this is what you are. The evidence speaks for itself. You saw my compassion, my attractiveness, my empathic manner with people and how they respond to such kindness and love and like some opportunist you decided that you wanted all of that for yourself. You realised that you could benefit massively by attaching yourself to me. You could avail yourself of my gushing compassion, my reflective presence as my emotional nature. I do not blame you for wanting to be with me, who would not when they are a creature like you? Who would not want such to erode me slice by slice? The opportunity to move yet again in circles that you had experienced before. The chance to be make yourself feel like somebody for once. The time to clamber upwards from the empty life you lead and the chasm which threatens to engulf you. I suppose I ought to admire your desire to improve yourself and better yourself by seeing what I am and what I do and wanting to make me part of you by swallowing me up. You certainly did make me become part of you as I struggle to remember most days who I am and what I was before I met you. You enjoyed my extraordinary love as you accepted my attentiveness, my invitation into my heart and my warm, loving nature. You were delighted to be on my arm as we went to so many special places. You were granted access all areas to who I was and you saw no reason to ever respect my identity. You consumed the love I poured in your direction, drinking deep of my passion, my affection and my dedication. I helped you, I listened, I advised and even when you began to abuse me, I never wavered from that. I called you often as you wanted me to. I made sure you felt safe and secure with my frequent messages and attention to your well-being. I allowed my friends and family to become part of your facade, they certainly had no qualms about forgetting me following your smear campaigns did they? You dominated my attention, engulfed me with your need to keep taking from me. Even when matters became difficult you did not stop with your neediness. You wanted reassurance still, to be told that I loved you, to be taken to those special places in side my soul once again. You tried to stop me doing what I wanted to do, what I needed to do. You wanted to prevent me spending time with my friends and yes before you say anything they were my friends until you banished them. Honest. You saw me as an easy target. I see that now and you kept taking, taking and taking. Is it little wonder that my confusion became despair? That my despair became desperation? You just would not stop taking from me and in the end I need to find a way to stop this, but I can’t seem to. You won’t stop. I have to find someone who will give rather than take and that means I need to be rid of you. I know this has to happen but I feel I cannot escape you, you have drained and leeched from me to such an extent that I am barely able to think and function. That is why I need to cast you aside but how can I when you will not let me go and you will not stop causing me to love you. You are a parasite.
Who is the parasite. You, me or both of us?
The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other.
Who is the parasite?
31 thoughts on “Parasite”
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No one wants to be referred to as a parasite so will toss it in the other direction, but the simple matter is both sides benefit and feed off of the other. If that is not the case for the Empath then why is it so hard for them to let go even once they become aware of what they are dealing with? Many reasons, but still feeding off of the hope that there was real love and the need to fix and reinstate it chief among them.
NarcAngel
What you say is the hard truth and remains the very turning point in the empath’s awakening. The empath must recognize and accept their role in this toxic relationship. Their perpetual need to fix & heal (and in exchange be kept & cared for) was being fulfilled by the narcissist. The cost of that fulfillment came with a heavy price of pain and trauma, but that must be owned, too. Until the empath accepts this, they will remain unenlightened and doomed to repeat the cycle again. Of the two, the empath is the one who has the most hope of change. They must accept that the narcissist will not, and this is a large part of the awakening, as well.
Merripen
Yes, Im not known for my soft landings. I actually could not care less if the narcissist changes (and they cannot or will not, so focus on that is futile). I only care to know how I can reside with and respond to them in my time here on planet Earth because interaction and encounter with them is inevitable. It is up to us to determine how we deal with them-theyre not going away.
This is the place to learn those methods.
NarcAngel
I agree. Let’s see what I can learn, then.
Narcangel, i agree w you. The ones who have not gone no contact (including me) w intimate partners may be parasites too (unless children are involved in which case no contact is impossible). We know they don’t love us nor care, yet we reply to their hoovers because it gives us some relief.
Both, from each other’s perspective. Brilliant writing as always HG.
We get the golden period and have to pay for it much more than you ever invested in us. There must be a profit for you in the end. The short period of golden glance is an expensive pleasure.
Only this time your kind fed me with knowledge for free and I am the parasite.
HG: how seriously or deeply do you feel that sometimes others and esp. girlfriends, are attaching themselves to you, taking advantage? Are you afraid to loose your independence or focus on youself?
Nobody takes advantage. Not anymore.
But you’re absolutely serious about viewing things that way or feeling that way, and in general cautious that this would not happen, is that right?
It will not happen.
You….taken advantage of….what are you talking about!?!!?
Scary image 😨 the narcissist is the parasite.
Yes, that is the deal without a doubt and what is imposed on the environment to be disrespectful. The concept of giving to receive, to be able to charge later something that according to you never arrives. Mercantilism in love, clear evil business always … the rules of love are other, I understand that you do not know
When i first found this blog, this was the most recent article posted. I was a little confused if it is the narcissist or the narc’s partner who is narrating. In some sentences it is clear. In other sentences, it is vague. After reading a few times, i started understanding. Then i realized how brilliant the author is to use such a play on words.
The image associated w the article has changed i believe. It is more gruesome now.
“The parasite is the one who benefits at the expense of the other. Who is the parasite?”
The important words relating to a parasite that you missed out, are in fact, “A PARASITE GIVES NOTHING IN RETURN”…..smoke, mirrors and lies equate to nothing…..the narc is the parasite……the only person who is giving something honest, real and true is the empath…….Diva
But you do get something in return, you get the golden period.
HG, that’s like saying, “But you got lied to, tricked and taken advantage of!”
Which is correct, but wasn’t it wonderful what it was wrapped up in?
It’s the bottom line that counts, so I’d definitely have to say no. Being tricked and taken advantage of by a con man may feel good st the time, but the horror of realizing how you were tricked and used and having everyone know what a fool you were would totally eclipse any good you felt in the past.
Indian giver!!!!!!……..Diva
Bravo HG! This is one of my favorites! Your ability to nimbly flip me from one side of the mirror to the other, greatly aids in my assimilation of this new perspective. I enjoyed the play-by-play comparison of the two juxtaposed experiences. How cheeky of you to make me reconsider empathizing with the narcissist, even after his brutality. He is made no worse off by the experience. There is no question that this, combined with his intent, make him the parasite.
Geeezz…feel sick now!!!!!
Like you said, the parasite benefits at the expense of the other. All we have to do is observe both parties at the end of the relationship. Who was harmed?
One can argue harm occurs to either party.
One can always argue any point, but in this case one side would be much more obvious and easy to make. Such as if the narc has discarded and already attached to another host and the empath is left with distraught and confused with a gaping hole in her life.
Indeed, of course, we would argue in one instant we are the ones hurt by the loss of fuel ( in order to ‘outrank’ your hurt ) and then moments later state we walked off into the sunset without a care ( to deny any suggestion of us ever having been wounded and to make your misery all the more complete) as part of our compartmentalisation and hypocrisy.
You are, obviously. You are the one that needs fuel, we are balanced, we do the giving and the taking, we need something too but if we don’t get anything from you we only give, and when it’s over, we die.
So, my narc has me doubting about his narcissistic personality. How does he do that only God knows….so how do I know he’s a narc?
Because he gave me the treatment before, twice, and because even if I’ve been very very carefull this time, he got me to the point of wondering why…..
Why does he call several times in a day and then nothing for a month and so forth.
I am wondering what game am I playing, because I must be playing some kind of game as well if I still talk to him after all this. There’s no telling him not to call back, he will always call.
So, what do I do with this pet? Do I keep him, feed him when it’s hungry and forget about it till next time? Because that’s what this thing is becoming.
HG
Exorcism is stunning! Everything that you have written is completely accurate. It is uncanny. I just finished the 5 Causal Actions and ever presence is starting to fade after being here for 6 1/2 months and the GP faded by early July. However, I still need to be in recovery because I was a big-time junkie.
Glad you think so K.
You wrote in Escape: How to Beat the Narcissist. “The creature that has leeched from you in every conceivable manner and then given nothing back.” I am inclined to agree with you on this, so your kind is the parasite. Not I.