Yes, time has a way of playing games with you just as they did. I am not good at giving comfort as some are, but I want you to know that I hear you and hope that you can be kind to yourself rather than allow your mind to accept what was surely abuse by others as kindness or affection. You are never alone here.
You are!
You always take the time to say something encouraging and comforting, to make someone feel better and you always seem to say the right thing. This ( along with your great sense of humour) is what I admire you for.
This is so true. I’m struggling today. Trying to remember that it’s lonelier being with a narcissist than just being alone. Just like the narcissist, distance and time sometimes causes me to romanticize what was actually trauma. Sick sick sick.
Ok HG….Please help me out here….
It is easy to see the signs with the N’s I already know, but at this point I am afraid that my paranoia for getting entangled with a new one is too strong. That is why I have to post a conversation on text with someone who found my profile on a business forum. So many red flags, right??
The text conversation:
HIM:
1st message: “Hi. I saw your profile. You look like someone I could like.”
2nd message: “Hi. I see we have friends in common on Facebook. Strange that I haven’t seen you before. I like your profile picture😍”
3rd message: I see from LinkedIn that you are a manager. I like😁”
4th message: “I don’t like texting so much. I want to meet you. Are you free this Friday?”
Then I got around to answer (because that is the polite thing to do🙃)
ME: “I am sorry, but I am not free this Friday.”
HIM:
“Can I call you?”
ME:
“I am at work at the moment, and not free to take a call.”
HIM:
1st message: “How about Saturday or Sunday?”
2nd message: “I’m sorry if I come on to strong, but I am a passoinate person”.
Me the next day:
“This weekend is no good for me. Have a nice day.”
HIM:
“Now I am really dissapointed. I understand that this is not important to you.”
2 hours later:
“I am not so dissapointed anymore. I can see from your Instagram profile that you are a beautiful person on the inside. Please meet me.”
He sent a love-song with the last text.
I haven’t answered.
The texting started on wednesday.
Hello HG. I hope all is good in Narcville. Normal world is very nice. It’s fabulous place to be. This statement above is so very true. I now have another male messaging me very quickly (anhour after meeting him) with: I really like you, you make me laugh, hugs, you are really nice I like your friends, I love your hair it looks so soft. This is a taste. Now the question is why do I not block or delete? I will if he contacts again but watching all this shit is making me see so clearly how far I have come. The awareness of red flags, listening to my intuition and not even thinking this attention is lovely. The thing is that I no longer seek reassurance from others as I at last am happy in my own skin. The entanglement with a Narc previously, he said you could be good. I believed he thought I could be good. The thing was I did not realise then that I was good but I do now. So what am I going to do with this hanging on Narc, if he contacts me again then it’s gotta be no reply and delete. That’s the way forward. It’s true maybe they will always be in my circle, but now I do not have to engage as I have woken up and I love it now although initially it was scary. Do love again people but heal first. You can do it, is that not right HG?
Well yeah-damned red capes and all.… but more and more capes are becoming reversible to black and used as a shield emblazoned with the words: Weaponized and No Contact after being here, so step lightly Narcky Narcks.
After school gets out, the parents all hangout at the playground and me and my empath spy are right next to the two female narcissists and all the normals are on the left of us in their own group. It overlaps, but that is the general layout. We really do attract them like moths to a flame.
Yes we will always attract you and be attracted to you. For those of us who are currently narc free, the real test will be what happens when we meet the next one…..now that we are older, wiser and in the know. I have met and repelled a Lesser narc during my time on this blog……no problem there……but I will need to meet and repel one in every range before I can acquire my badge of honour……Diva
They are human tornadoes . Empty inside and if you get in their way they will hurt or destroy you.
I read this somewhere – People survive tornadoes but they don’t go out and seek one .
Abrokenwing
Ah, sane people you mean? There are many storm chasers who actively, repeatedly chase tornadoes. I’ve even gone out to try to see some tornadoes, too. It takes all kinds to make a world! 😜
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No! No! No! No!Damnitall NO!
Some will or may still.
The narcissist may be attracted, but we can now repel that attraction.
Biggest Compliment.
And Curse. Ever.
Ironic Twist.
12345
Yes, time has a way of playing games with you just as they did. I am not good at giving comfort as some are, but I want you to know that I hear you and hope that you can be kind to yourself rather than allow your mind to accept what was surely abuse by others as kindness or affection. You are never alone here.
NA. You are a sound voice of reason. I find that comforting. Like: there is a way out.
NarcAngel ,
‘ I am not good at giving comfort as some are ‘
You are!
You always take the time to say something encouraging and comforting, to make someone feel better and you always seem to say the right thing. This ( along with your great sense of humour) is what I admire you for.
ABW
I know my delivery can be very blunt and is not always well received, so that was very kind of you to say. Thank you.
NarcAngel
Kind, but true. 😊
This is so true. I’m struggling today. Trying to remember that it’s lonelier being with a narcissist than just being alone. Just like the narcissist, distance and time sometimes causes me to romanticize what was actually trauma. Sick sick sick.
1-5. Did that today myself. Decided to write about it. Some call it journal but I loathe that word. xo
Ok HG….Please help me out here….
It is easy to see the signs with the N’s I already know, but at this point I am afraid that my paranoia for getting entangled with a new one is too strong. That is why I have to post a conversation on text with someone who found my profile on a business forum. So many red flags, right??
The text conversation:
HIM:
1st message: “Hi. I saw your profile. You look like someone I could like.”
2nd message: “Hi. I see we have friends in common on Facebook. Strange that I haven’t seen you before. I like your profile picture😍”
3rd message: I see from LinkedIn that you are a manager. I like😁”
4th message: “I don’t like texting so much. I want to meet you. Are you free this Friday?”
Then I got around to answer (because that is the polite thing to do🙃)
ME: “I am sorry, but I am not free this Friday.”
HIM:
“Can I call you?”
ME:
“I am at work at the moment, and not free to take a call.”
HIM:
1st message: “How about Saturday or Sunday?”
2nd message: “I’m sorry if I come on to strong, but I am a passoinate person”.
Me the next day:
“This weekend is no good for me. Have a nice day.”
HIM:
“Now I am really dissapointed. I understand that this is not important to you.”
2 hours later:
“I am not so dissapointed anymore. I can see from your Instagram profile that you are a beautiful person on the inside. Please meet me.”
He sent a love-song with the last text.
I haven’t answered.
The texting started on wednesday.
He is a narcissist, right?
Hello HG. I hope all is good in Narcville. Normal world is very nice. It’s fabulous place to be. This statement above is so very true. I now have another male messaging me very quickly (anhour after meeting him) with: I really like you, you make me laugh, hugs, you are really nice I like your friends, I love your hair it looks so soft. This is a taste. Now the question is why do I not block or delete? I will if he contacts again but watching all this shit is making me see so clearly how far I have come. The awareness of red flags, listening to my intuition and not even thinking this attention is lovely. The thing is that I no longer seek reassurance from others as I at last am happy in my own skin. The entanglement with a Narc previously, he said you could be good. I believed he thought I could be good. The thing was I did not realise then that I was good but I do now. So what am I going to do with this hanging on Narc, if he contacts me again then it’s gotta be no reply and delete. That’s the way forward. It’s true maybe they will always be in my circle, but now I do not have to engage as I have woken up and I love it now although initially it was scary. Do love again people but heal first. You can do it, is that not right HG?
I’m learning all too well that my covert narc husband will not file for divorce because he needs me for fuel.
Correct.
Thank you
Well yeah-damned red capes and all.… but more and more capes are becoming reversible to black and used as a shield emblazoned with the words: Weaponized and No Contact after being here, so step lightly Narcky Narcks.
After school gets out, the parents all hangout at the playground and me and my empath spy are right next to the two female narcissists and all the normals are on the left of us in their own group. It overlaps, but that is the general layout. We really do attract them like moths to a flame.
Yes we will always attract you and be attracted to you. For those of us who are currently narc free, the real test will be what happens when we meet the next one…..now that we are older, wiser and in the know. I have met and repelled a Lesser narc during my time on this blog……no problem there……but I will need to meet and repel one in every range before I can acquire my badge of honour……Diva
The Devil is a Liar! !!!
Why ???
If u left us because you lost interest in us. Why would you be attract again??
Fuel.
no…because I am changing and becoming stronger everyday.
No.. Like MLO’s above letter states … Too scared and too scarred to ever trust and love like that again .. x
They are human tornadoes . Empty inside and if you get in their way they will hurt or destroy you.
I read this somewhere – People survive tornadoes but they don’t go out and seek one .
Abrokenwing
Ah, sane people you mean? There are many storm chasers who actively, repeatedly chase tornadoes. I’ve even gone out to try to see some tornadoes, too. It takes all kinds to make a world! 😜
And thanks to you, HG, we can repel….
Dear Mr Tudor,
Bugga …. I was afraid of that! 😂
Noooooooo
Nothing really scares me
When I read this….this scares me.
Reminds me of an AA/AlAnon saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Well that does suck, but at least now I’m aware.
Oh look…it’s me. Lol
🙂 🙂 🙂
Until were no longer attracted to you the narcissists in life. Self assured people with strong boundaries and self love will repel a narcissist.