Little Acons – No. 1

YOU CARRYMY TORCH

A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child result in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.

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35 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 1”

  1. K ……I dread to think how that was for you growing up…….it’s unimaginable………Lessers are no longer difficult for me to either spot or keep away from, but it would appear that you had no such luxury or choice, but you do now thankfully……Diva

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    1. Thank you, Diva!
      My brother was a psycho and he used to kick and punch me all the time and my narc mother would NEVER protect me from him. So, I would get back at him by heckling him; it was worth the beating I would get later. K

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    2. Diva
      Both my father and mother were violent lessers and my twin and one older sister are lessers. It was Bedlam in my home growing up. I am mostly no contact with my narc family now. My father died in 2010, thank god.

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      1. Hi K…..Just when I was thinking life for you couldn’t have been much worse, you send me another post…….and it’s worse than I could have imagined…….you must be a very strong character to rise above it with your humour intact and not become a narc yourself, against all of the odds stacked against you……..Diva

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      2. Thank you Diva!
        My childhood was very violent and I used hatred, rage and humor to survive and it worked very well; I am not a narc! I am here with you, and everyone else, and things are looking up, besides we can laugh about some of it now and learn to move on together. K

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  2. Tales from The Narc Crypt

    Empath Twin v Narc Twin

    My twin hates me and I hate him. We both want each other dead. When we were little, I would make fun of him. He hated when I called him a retard or a mongoloid, so this is what I would do: I would place myself on the other side of the dining room table (barrier for safety) and, as he walked through the dining room, I would taunt him in a sing-song voice, “You’re a fucking retard, you’re a fucking retard, you’re a fucking retarded mongoloid.” He would get pissed and he chased me back and forth in a half-moon; I was trapped on one side of table, so I had to feint, then run as fast as I could up the stairs to my bedroom, slam the door shut and wedge myself against it, using the floor as leverage. He would ram into my bedroom door over and over again trying to get me. Eventually he would calm down and leave. He would get me later; he always did. But I sure loved calling him a fucking retarded mongoloid.

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  3. The torch of dysfunction either as a future narcissist or future codependant empath unless intervention occurs which is very rare.

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  4. narc affair
    The best intervention for me was this site. I am narc free for the first time in my life because of people like you, HG and everyone else here. I am so happy. No depression, C-PTSD is now PTSD, and that is even going away, too. Also, I am fortunate enough that I do not need meds, nor do I have any addictive habits like smoking, drinking, comfort eating or shopping. Narc.site is the best thing since sliced bread. Bye bye dysfunction! Yippee!

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    1. Wow K! That’s terrific!! Wish I knew how to get rid of my addictive behaviors! At least I don’t smoke – could be worse. 😄

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      1. Ha, ha Diva! Sounds like me. It’d be too depressing to make a list of all my addictions. I’d probably start off the list with this blog!

        I’ve just always been an “all or nothing” type of person. Whatever I choose to do I go whole hog until I’m tired of it. I always have several interests going at any point in time. I decided I’d go to Kansas to see my daughters 4 little ones for Halloween. Almost overnight I’d spent a ton of money on an elaborate costume, makeup, and porch decorations (I get to sit outside and hand out candy). Do you all have children going house to house for candy on Halloween? It’s a big thing here. I’m going to be a green-skinned, purple-haired witch – fitting since one of my narc friends has me do Wiccan energy rituals with her. 😄

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      2. WS2
        This blog is a healthy addiction, and as long as you are not “breaking bad” you are doing ok. Halloween is awesome! The celebration in Salem, MA is very large and New England is a hotbed for halloween fun. You would blend in nicely with your costume. Like you, I have a narc that practices Wicca and does energy rituals, too. My daughter will be trick-or-treating this year with my MMRN but next year she will be with me, so I will be giving out candy like you. Life is short WS2, don’t sweat the money. You will look scary and have a fabulous time with the grandchildren.

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      3. K
        I’m looking really forward to it. I’ve always lived in very rural areas and in the 45 or so Halloweens that I’ve bought candy and waited for trick-or-treaters, only 4 children have ever come to my house! It’s always a major disappointment.

        My daughter lives in one of those upscale subdivisions where they have all kinds of rules (when I read her homeowner’s contract and saw all the rules I was appalled. I told her I’d never live anywhere I couldn’t have a hog in my front yard if I wanted. Without dropping a beat she said, “Mom, that’s why they have these rules, so people like you can’t live here”). She says she can guarantee me at least 50 kids will come by! 🤗

        I’m sure it will be fun with her four kids. I’ll confess to you all, one of the main reasons I want to go is because the 1 1/2 year old little girl is very empathic. She’s the most empathic baby I’ve ever known. Being around her is a balm to my soul. 😇

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      4. WS2
        Only 4 children, what a disappointment! Your daughter’s response to you regarding the rules was hilarious and it made me laugh, but I understand why you would want a hog in the front yard; I used to have chickens. 50 kids will keep you busy and entertained. The costumes are so fun to look at and sometimes the adults dress up, too. Spending time with the four grandkids will be such a joy for you, and it is wonderful that you have a baby empath who fills you with solace and peace. My 7-year old is an empath so I understand your feelings. If you don’t mind my asking, does your ex have a relationship with your daughter and his grandchildren?

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      5. Give my daughter time. She says she wants 7 kids! She’s trying to have them as quickly as possible since she’s already in her 30’s (why she has 4 under 6 yrs old).

        Yes my exhusband gets along with all 4 of our children. He has the closest relationship with our oldest son, who’s also a narc. Our son has two little girls – 4 and 1 1/2. He really loves spending time with the 4 yr old. She’s one of his favorite people and he goes to all her soccer practices and games and often takes her shopping with him. She’s a little super empath who fountains with fuel and thinks he hung the moon. He probably sees their family 2-4 times a week. Our youngest is also a narc. We usually only see him when he needs something. The middle son is an empath. He lives in Tennessee (currently in Japan), but they visit back and forth.

        All of our kids know what their dad is and they all have assorted resentments from the past – especially our daughter (I think she had higher expectations), but he’s their dad and they’ve had to come to terms with his limitations. We all meet for family gatherings, holidays and important events.

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      6. WS2
        It is very fortunate that your children know that their dad is a narcissist because it makes a world of difference when you know what the disorder is and how to handle the behavior that accompanies it. And you are very lucky that you are able to meet for holidays, family events and gatherings even if there is resentment.

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      7. K
        Yes, I realize my good fortune. I had wonderful and enlightened inlaws who taught the entire extended family about both narcissism and alcoholism. One of the best things about my exhusband was getting to become part of his family.

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      8. Intelligence and awareness makes a world of difference WS2. I was surrounded by a Confederacy of Dunces* and I remember thinking that I was quite astute and felt wholly optimistic that I wasn’t dim-witted like my narcs.

        *Confederacy of Dunces is novel by John Kennedy Toole and I though it made a nice collective noun.

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      9. Hi Windstorm2 “Do you all have children going house to house for candy on Halloween?”………It doesn’t happen here very often….The message of STRANGER DANGER has pretty much ruined that one ……but then again I rarely answer the door!!!

        We do dress up and go out to firework displays and the like and there would be street parties. This year I am dressing up as the Black Swan!!!!……..Diva

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      10. At the age of nine, I was on the street and that is where I was the safest. I was never assaulted by a stranger. My family was whole different story.

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      11. I understand what you are saying about strangers not being the biggest risk and the message behind it…… I also note K’s comment…..there is definitely truth to it…..no doubt about that….

        However, strangers are a risk to me……you are a narc and not a narc magnet. Walk in my shoes for a month and you may change your mind……(although you probably have your own collection of those too!)…….The majority of my narcs started off as strangers, although there were family ones too……….Diva

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      12. In rural areas the churches have something called “trunk or treat” where all the members decorate their car and hand candy out from their trunk. That is our safe alternative. In urban areas kids all still go door to door. I never heard of street parties, but then I’ve always lived where there are no streets! No fireworks. That’s just for New Years and the 4th of July.

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      13. Thank you, WS2!
        My family has numerous addictions: fuel, hoarding, smoking, drinking, drugs, shopping, gambling and over eating. I am no longer a GP junkie. No more ersatz love for me. We need some virtual NA (narc anonymous) sobriety chips.

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