No Contact No Nos
No Contact is THE key to beating the narcissist.
Most people get it wrong. There are two reasons for this.
1. Not understanding the requirements of a Total No Contact Regime , and
2. The misleading effect of Emotional Thinking.
As part of the first element, the establishment and maintenance of a Total No Contact Regime means not only knowing what you MUST do for your Total No Contact Regime, but also what you MUST NOT do.
No Contact No Nos provides comprehensive information about the fundamental errors and primary risks which exist to your Total No Contact Regime so that you know what they are, how they threaten your regime and what you can do to make sure your Total No Contact Regime is properly implemented and also securely maintained.
This extremely useful and eye-opening guide tackles the weaknesses to your no contact regime in an effective and straightforward manner and is available for just US $ 5.
20 thoughts on “No Contact No Nos”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Narc knitter/lieutenant saw me at school (2nd sphere, eye line)
she texted me (5th sphere) I texted back (I am an colossal idiot) and after school she reported my texts to my MMRN (3rd sphere).
You are correct: talking about your narc is a form of ever presence and I have blocked the narc knitter and I am N/C with her now, as well.
Narc traits coming to the fore: I would love to bash her fucking head in with a baseball bat.
Violence, aggression, revenge, zero remorse, hatred, destroy. I think that covers it. This is the impact of growing up in family of lessers.
P.S. I forgot one: rage.
Hey K….call me over sensitive but I was sensing rage on your first post!!!!!…..Diva
Diva
You really DO understand me, which means you really are an empath and I am glad my rage didn’t escape you. I figured I would vent my spleen here and I woke up feeling much better this morning. She is mad because I won’t knit with her anymore, so she is causing trouble. Narcs get quite testy when they can’t control their appliances. K
K…..Yes I do understand you….we are alike in many ways but not in others……I am glad that you are feeling better after venting your spleen here…….I don’t know how to do that but it makes me smile when others do……..Diva
My MMRN called me last night, that would be a hoover in the 4th sphere.
“We are emboldened and bring our seductive powers to bear on you with a Benign Follow-Up Hoover and in your fragile state there is a risk that you will fold and thus the act of gossip has destroyed your no contact.”
It was benign, however, I am not fragile. I answered because he has our daughter for visitation. It is a fuel fest and it is all because of texts between me and the narc knitter. It is time to work on banishing him.
HG
With you, atleast I came to know what exactly goes on in Narc mind. I am now aware of Narc tricks, but I sometimes, out of frustration, try to implement it but I can’t do that because of my empath nature. Like you can’t stop your narc behaviour, I can’t stop being empath. Although I am trying to be little concerned, I am meditating a lot these days which is very effective.
👍Got it.
Thank you.
And to be quite honest, I don’t think we are entirely out of their minds and deleted as much as we are led to believe. Yes, I understand that they very well are busy with working on getting desperately needed new supply and likely already involved with new supply… but … nope, still don’t think we are entirely out of the realm of their thinking. And don’t bother to tell me that I’m thinking dangerously… I know what I know.
Lori—agreed. not that is a good thing. nor is it a bad thing. it is a thing. i believe we have ever presence too. 100% NC here. but still have an intuition that things are not as they seem. he had a postcard i sent him 20+ yrs ago he just magically produced. yes in some creepy vault some where to be sure with 9k other trinkets of former victims shuffling their way to top (and bottom.) i get: always danger. i have no illusion there. and new supply helps stomp out us. but. still.
I stole the most valuable trinket back. A night before the night and day of “the end” … right off his finger while he slept. He’s never once mentioned it, and there was some crazy stuff posted all over social media. I KNOW he would have noticed. Was this a “wounding”? Do I need to fear repercussions?? He has an anger in him. One he can’t control. He scares me. You -all- scare me. I may act strong but I’m just a big chicken! Ha
I don’t talk about my narcs to anyone apart from the readers on this blog…..I do remember them often……I can’t deny that……but I have trained my mind to only recall the bad, if my off switch is defunct. It’s not a difficult task……Diva
Diva
Mostly I just talk here, too, and I do think people need someone safe to vent to. It helps to get the anger and hurt out so you can move on. K
Do not talk about it. Forget it. Never mention it. Well meant advice not only from narcs but also from empaths.
I have to talk about it/ him until I am tired of it and it does not bother my brain/mind any more. I only have to take care to whom I talk about it.
In my environment no one is interested to listen about the relationship anymore. Don`t worry. And if there is a spy he would only tell your kind that I have spent a nice holiday, that I bought this and that.
That would make your kind envious and jealous and yes there could be then a hoover. Who am I in your kind`s eyes to be happy again?
In the neighbourhood a few years ago there was another woman who was married to a narc. She told us the truth about him. We never asked her, if there is any contact to him. We tried to comfort her. We were not respectless to ask her about him or tell her about him or vice versa. And he does not know that we all know a lot about him. It was her decision to talk about him until she did not need it anymore. She is happily remarried now.
To banish you from our mind without healing means that we become susceptible to the next narc or can never leave you behind and realise that your kind is a malice, unfortunate failure of nature.
Why are there so many ,for example, Holocaust memorials? They are there not to forget the victims and the perpetrators. They are there to remind us, that there is evil in the world and we are responsible to avoid it in future.
The more someone suppresses his thoughts and feelings the more they break through later. You should know that better.
I just don’t believe banishing from the mind is possible. Banishing in every other way is but he will live in my mind forever and my mind is the most dangerous place on earth for me.
You could try Exorcism
https://narcsite.com/2017/10/15/exorcism-5/
If you have a kindle or can download a kindle app, you get it at amazon
I read Exorcism and 5 other books by HG. With each page my mind moves further and further away from him. It is possible to put him out of your mind. Even if he comes to mind, when you are armed with new knowledge, he does not loom so large and at times you will even laugh at how small he has become.
I have it. So far read it twice.
1-5. mine is slippping from memory. and the memories i carry, less sting. NOT that i am or will become complacent. just not the walking wounded so much any more. i could sweat new circuits are flipped on in my brain and others off. in a good way.
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I took HG to mean banish them in the interim-until you get to zero impact. Once you have arrived there, your thoughts of him should be only as the catalyst for revealing to you how you really felt about yourself at the time and how you will not accept so little in future. That is when they can be considered a gift as opposed to the prize you thought they were in the golden period.