A Glimpse of the Future
It is well known that our kind operate by the wearing of masks. We have learned how to portray those emotions which we do not feel. We have ascertained that in certain situations we are expected to respond in a particular way. We know that by donning a particular mask we are more likely to charm and seduce you. We are aware that maintaining a certain mask the vicious malevolence that lurks beneath can be kept in check so that we achieve acceptability and the advancement of our agendas. There are occasions when we will give you a glimpse of what lies beneath this mask. I am not referring to when we whip the mask off and subject you to devaluation. That is a purposeful and intended act on our part. I am not making reference to when the mask fractures as a consequence of the ignition of our fury and the lesser and mid-range of our kind are unable to keep the mask in place so that the ignited fury erupts and the malicious beast is unleashed. There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol. Sometimes, especially with the greater of our kind, it is done as deliberate act in order to gauge your reaction. In such an instance, we tell you of what lies ahead to see if you baulk at the suggestion, or that more likely you respond in a sympathetic manner of even by way of denial.
“I couldn’t ever imagine you doing that.”
“That won’t happen with me though. It might have with other people but I will treat you better than they have.”
“You’re not like that, don’t be silly.”
“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice.”
If you respond in such terms when you have been given such a warning, then this is a green light to us that we have you under our control and that you will accord with our desires and machinations. It also allows us, when we do eventually behave in the manner described down the line during the devaluation, to throw it back in your face by saying.
“I did warn you.”
“Why are you complaining? I was upfront that this would happen.”
“I told you so.”
“It’s no use crying about it now. I told you what I was like.”
“I told you and you chose to stay with me. It is your fault.”
Not only does this enable us to avoid blame, something we must achieve, it will also result in you reacting and providing us with fuel.
With the lesser or mid-range of our kind, these comments are more akin to thinking aloud. The mask does slip, unintentionally for a moment, through the explanation of a future behaviour before it is realised what has been said and the disclosure is brushed to one side, denied or passed off as a silly comment owing to drink or being tired. Why do these comments arise in such a manner from the lesser and mid-range of our kind? Is it guilt or remorse? No, because those emotions are not felt by our kind. It arises from a lack of control. The “bad” behaviour that will arise at some point is lurking beneath the surface and like a cat fighting to get out of a sack, it is always wanting to make an appearance but is prevented from doing so by the maintenance of the mask that is worn. Occasionally, through the loss of control – it may be drink, it may be fatigue, it may be through inattention – what lurks beneath makes a brief and fleeting appearance before the control is exerted once again. Here are fifteen portentous show and tells of our kind. Should you ever hear these comments you ought to pay heed to the warning that you are being given.
- I am a bad person really.
- I will only hurt you.
- You should stay away from me.
- I do bad things. I cannot help it. I always do.
- I will make you wish you had never met me.
- It will go wrong, it always does.
- You will end up hating me.
- You don’t know what you are getting into with me.
- You shouldn’t do this.
- You should leave while you can.
- This is going to turn out badly.
- I have to hurt people.
- I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.
- I just want to fit in.
- I’m not what you think I am.
27 thoughts on “A Glimpse of the Future”
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on our first date he said: I m not a good man. I m a bad person. I m warning you.
Then he said: I have never ever felt such connection to anybody. Two of us are meant to be. you r the only one who makes me at ease.
At the end he said: But I warned you. Your love is irrationale. You make a preassure on me.
About one week in I heard, “I am evil”. I replied, “No you’re not”.
“Be careful what you wish for.”
“You won’t like me when I am angry.”
“The more you know me the less you will like me.”
“You shouldn’t be with me.”
“You are good. I am not.”
“I told you I wasn’t easy to love.”
Oh how true ALL of those statements are…..
Plus he was the Hulk.
“Why are you here? I will ruin this. Like I do everything pure and good in my life.” (After me stating that I wish we had had our chance together) “HA! If you really spent even one month with me you wouldn’t know if you wanted to f*** me or kill me…”. “I don’t deserve your kind of love.” (When I told him I hated him) “LOL. Get in line, Darlin’ “. “I’m afraid I’ll break you…” 😞😢
This is so true. Once my mid ranger ex said, “Well I guess once we get married I am going to have to put my foot down about your sister meddling in our lives.”
Hg – Does a mid ranger know they don’t ever feel real emotional connections or do they think what they feel is a real connection? Do they actually not understand that normal people can’t walk away like that?
They think it is real.
Mine told me that he would do anything for me as long as I was on his side. He came straight out and told me he could be incredibly mean and cruel to people not on his side. And he had been drinking then. Well, I remember reacting, but thinking that those blacklisted people in his life must have done something horrible to him, that in some sense they must have “deserved” it. Of course I later found myself being blacklisted for no credible reason at all. He also did tell me once that he was good at manipulating people at work, but of course he wouldn’t behave in that manner towards me. That was 1 1/2 years into the relationship though so I already knew he was manipulating me by then.
“I’m a cancer.”
“I used to be a pathological liar.”
“This ex of mine for a few months told a girl I was going to hang out with that I would abuse her.”
“My ex wife said that I abused her.” Cue the violins … that’s when he goes into his poor me shit and how insane she was.
“My mother said I was selfish”
Mine was a cancer as well 😀
And he lied to me that he has cancer -the irony ))))
These man have big issues and almost gave me cancer with his mind games and victim playing
Nicoleta,
That is such a classic psychopathic move – when they lie and say they have cancer. I’m rolling my eyes as I’m writing this lol.
I asked him once during devaluation if he loved me or not and if he did not love me just tell me asked over and over again for him to tell me he didn’t love me he wouldn’t do it he did say however “I don’t love ANY woman. I think it’s perfectly normal and understandable that I dont” I never asked him to explain why it was perfectly normal and understandable I was in too much shock that he said he doesn’t love any woman because of course that included me. Another time he said I know I have something that causes me to get angry for very small reasons. He wasn’t apologizing to me or seeking to excuse it he just said it one day in a perfectly calm non apologetic matter of fact way as if he was saying I have an issue that causes me to pass gas more often than usual
Kimmichaud1
I think one reason they don’t think there’s anything wrong with not really loving is that they think no one else really does either. Since they think they are normal, they assume all the rest of us are lying too.
Also other good phrases to watch out for that I’ve learned:
“Other people have called me an asshole”
“I know how to get other people to like me”
“If I’m suffering, you should suffer too”
Agreed.
I don’t agree with No. 4 – “I can’t help it”. Yes, you can. If you couldn’t help it, then you’d act like that with everyone. but you don’t. you understand right from wrong, truth from lie. You simply don’t care. Saying you can’t help it is to seek out our pity and sympathy for you. Nothing more.
“If you couldn’t help it, then you’d act like that with everyone. but you don’t.”
Excellent point Survivor……if you are anyway like myself, we treat everyone exactly the same……just as we wish to be treated……Diva
I was told, on more than one occasion, “ nothing lasts forever”
I am not fully honest. He did show in another way with what I will have to deal with in future. He showed me parts of his family, normally well hidden, because they were lazy, stupid, double-wide, antisocial. The narc`s family tried to hide their family relations to their own relatives normally.
This is all very familiar. And it all turned out exactly as HG stated. I do hate him and I avoid all places that I know he will be. I hope I never see either one of them and I am far from forgiveness even though it’s been over a year.
The upper mid-range I knew referred to his meanness by saying, ‘If you push me, the prickers will come out.’
When I was really hurt by his lies (a pathological liar he was), he told me, ‘Anyone could have told you that you’d get hurt.’
Deflection. That it’s somehow my fault for feeling. He was outstanding at gaslighting.
HG, one of the things he used to do was call other narcs out on their badness. He thought Trump was ‘a horrible man’ and I know he’d say the same of Weinstein. As the typical Mid-Range, he believed he was a good person.
But he could not see his own actions as hurtful.
Absolutely, what better way than to make yourself look respectable by placing your attention on someone who is clearly unpleasant, thus in relative terms he looks better and also because he ‘appears’ to be a decent judge of such a person and disapproves. Of course, he does not see what he does as wrong – either just not seeing it or recognising that it may cause a problem BUT there is a reason for it to remove his accountability.
Most of the 15 little sentences show that these kinds of narcs are aware of what they are and what they do. Never heard any of the sentences besides “I am not what you think I am.” And this sentence was used when I accused him for infidelity. Great lie.
No both narcs are totally convinced that they are the only kind of person to be happy with. Both think they are the jackpot for every other individual.
“There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol.”
My mask definitely slips when I have had a drink of alcohol……everyone says I am far nicer!!!!!!!!…….Diva
I was used to occasionally being told one of these warning statements, always accompanied by a smile. Never any embarrassment- obviously said on purpose.
Then one day when he’d called me after midnight his time, my Moron in Munich said one. When I repeated it back to him, he freaked out, said “No, no!” that he was too tired to know what he was saying and hung up. For the longest time that made no sense to me, until I got on this site and learned he was a midranger.
Several weeks later I told him that I could always tell what he really felt by the sound of his voice on the phone. He quit calling me altogether and only texted pretty much from then on. Sometimes I wonder if he is capable of being in a relationship with a woman who’s actually in the same room with him. 🙄
Windstorm,
“… he freaked out, said “No, no!” that he was too tired to know what he was saying and hung up.
I can’t believe he hung up! So childish! Luckily, my ex mid never did that. But he exhibited other cowardly traits. Such cowards mid-rangers are!