The Revision of History

the-revision

You are no doubt familiar with the quotation

“History is written by the victors”

to explain that those who triumph then re-write what has happen to accord with their new-found supremacy. We bastardise that quotation. We re-write history in order to ensure that we are the victors. We love to win. We hate to lose. It goes further than that. It is not just about wanting to win, loving the fact that we are winners but we need to win. It is imperative. This need to win manifests in numerous ways, which include:-

Always being in receipt of fuel;

Being the centre of attention;

Having our say first and for longest;

Making sure we are heard above all others;

Getting the latest gadget or piece of technology ahead of our friends, family and neighbours;

Having the most attractive spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, partner amongst our social groups;

Having the best suit and tie;

Being the most senior at a meeting;

Earning the most out of our peers;

Having secured the best career out of those we went to school with;

Being the best at running, football, archery, chess;

Knowing the most about a particular subject;

Offering the best wine at a dinner party;

Securing the best seats at a theatre or a restaurant;

Being acknowledged first in a group;

Bench pressing the heaviest weight in the gym;

Having the best sound system;

Knowing more famous people than our friends;

Securing tickets to a sold-out performance;

Winning the argument with anybody who tries to challenge us;

Ensuring our partner puts our needs ahead of theirs;

Getting served before anybody else;

Being able to drink the most at a party;

Ensuring everybody respects our “quiet time” when we are watching a film;

Having the most exuberant birthday bashes.

There are of course so many more. Not all of these are always applicable as for instance a Cerebral Narcissist will have little interest in ensuring that he can bench press the most weight at the gym and the Somatic Narcissist is not at all bothered about being the local expert on the history of the town in which he lives, but each and everyone one of our kind will want to and need to, secure the win.

This need manifests in the lengths we will go to so that we achieve the win. We will boast, brag, manipulate, blackmail, coerce, cajole, sabotage, nobble and bribe our way to the win. Nothing is off limits. If I can emotionally blackmail a friend into ensuring I sit in the lead funeral car with the family ahead of any other friend of the family, then I will do it. If I need to delete the files from a competitor’s computer at work, so be it. If I need to ensure that I have control over you in our relationship, so I win repeatedly, then I will unleash all manner of manipulations form my Devil’s Toolkit in order to make sure I win, win and win again.

The revision of history is one such tool that our kind deploys on a regular basis to bring about the win. Let’s look at some examples of how that appears.

Imagine I am at the bar with some of my inner circle friends. One of my friends, someone who has served a purpose from school, brings up the occasion of the 100 metre sprint from the school athletics championships.

“Hey HG, you ran a great time that day and you were only just pipped to the gold medal by that dude from LRG weren’t you?”

“I think, Michael, you will find that I pipped him to the title.”

“Really? Are you sure? I thought he beat you.”

“No, I beat him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I was actually looking back through my results at the weekend when I was clearing some boxes from the loft and I was remembering how close the race had been but how I had overtaken that dude and beat him, narrowly true, but I beat him all the same.”

“I could have sworn it was the other way around.”

“No, you are wrong. I checked the times. I beat him by 0.2 of a second.”

“Oh I see.”

“Yes, he was gracious in defeat but I suppose you have to be when you don’t win, eh Michael?”

Michael nods and accepts my point since it was said with authority and the backing of a recent review of the result.

I actually did come second but I am not going to allow Michael to point that out in front of these inner circle friends. I rewrote history to ensure that I proved a point to him and ensured that I was held in the proper regard by those listening which in turn provided me with fuel.

2. Now consider a conversation between a primary source and me.

“Where have you been?” asks the primary source.

“What do you mean, where have I been? You know where I have been.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do, I told you last week.”

“No you did not. I have been wondering where you have been, I was getting worried.”

“Well that is your own fault, I told you last week that I was going out this evening.”

“No you did not.”

“I did, I remember specifically. I was searching for my shirt that I wanted to wear, you know the blue one which I bought recently, but you wouldn’t help me look as you were watching some television programme. You asked why I wanted the shirt and I said I wanted to make sure it was clean and ironed because I was going out with Nathan and Paul.”

“I dont remember that.”

“Well I do.”

“I really do not remember you telling me you were going out.”

“You probably didn’t take it in, after all you were pretty engrossed in your programme.”

“Hmmm.”

“Anyway, what’s to eat, I am famished.”

I never said anything about going out but I will re-write history to make it appear that I did so because this frustrates you, avoids your attempt to blame me and allows me to maintain superiority by being right.

3. I am sat with a primary source in a restaurant.

“Isn’t that that woman who was obsessed with you?”

“Where?” I answer.

“There, coming through the doors, what is her name again, beings with an A I am sure.”

“Who? The lady with the short brown bob?”

“No, next to her, the one with long blonde hair.”

“Never seen her before.”

“Are you sure, she looks like that woman you pointed out to me.”

“No, I don’t know her.”

“It is a damn good likeness if it is not her. It is her, she is coming over.”

The blonde woman comes to our table.

“Hello,” she smiles at me ignoring the primary source, “fancy seeing you here.”

“Sorry are you talking to me?”

“Yes, hi HG, how are you?”

“I am sorry do I know you?”

“Yes we worked together.”

“No I am sorry, I don’t remember you.”

Her downcast expression provides me with fuel.

“I was in the team that worked alongside yours. We went to Singapore, do you not remember?”

“You might have worked where I worked but I don’t know you, sorry, but if you wouldn’t mind, we are about to order. Waiter!?”

Puzzled and upset she slowly walks away and I savour her fuel.

“She definitely knew you,” presses the primary source.

“Seems that way, but then I am well known aren’t I?” I answer with a self-congratulatory grin. I am pleased to have rebuffed Samantha who I know full well but it suited my purpose to rebuff her. I know she will try and contact me again to prove she knows me and then I just may re-write history again to confirm that I do. Of course, when I do, I may re-write that I had forgotten who she was.

We engage in this manipulation in order to exert control. It allows us to confuse, bewilder, upset, brag and thus maintain fuel. We will re-write history so that we avoid blame, gain kudos, claim achievements that are not our own, make us sound better at what we have accomplished, to evade liability and ensure you are confused and puzzled. It comes within gas-lighting as you start to find your memory is fallible. We have no hesitation in confirming something happened when it did not, we will change events, add things and take them away so long as it suits our purposes. If you present us with some independent evidence that contradicts us we will not shift our position in terms of maintaining history is how we decree it. Instead, we will unleash an alternative manipulation in order to deflect and deny your attempt to challenge our version.

Even the most obvious of events will be erased, amended and added to. Nothing is safe from our treatment of how things were. If it serves a purpose for us to alter history one way or another then we shall do so.

How do you deal with this?

As ever, state you position the once so you know you have stated it and then move on. The re-writing of history is designed to draw you in to an argument, make you try to convince us that you are right and we are wrong (although you will fail), to make you erupt in frustration or anger or tears, to bewilder you so that you keep accepting we are correct, so little by little you eventually always accept what we say and submit to this particular mind game.

Conversations will be recalled in a different manner. People who did not attend will have attended whilst others vanish. Events play out in a different manner once they have been subjected  to this treatment.

It is all part of securing the win.

We change history. That’s how powerful we consider ourselves to be.

26 thoughts on “The Revision of History

  1. Xico says:

    So do they really believe that what they are saying is the truth even when it clearly is false?

    When they say they can’t trust a word tht comes out of our mouth ? Is this what they mean? Middle mid range narcisst

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. False to you, true to them.
      2. Yes, they believe you are the one telling lies because their narcissism causes the narcissist to think this way.

  2. Sandy m says:

    I realized I was with a narc when he used gaslighting.

    I do think that one can push the reality one desires. The stronger person wins. I need to focus to push the vision, that the narc never even existed in my life. “..Yeah, I think I knew him in high school , he was friends with my ex boyfriend. But nothing more….”

    What do narcs do if they are gaslighted?

    Good writing

    1. Sandra says:

      I think the best tactic could be to ignore the narc. Not even deny the reality but just ignore him. Why even bother gaslighting him?

      Thanks hg I feel I understand narcs much more now.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        You are correct in your response.

    2. HG Tudor says:

      If you attempted to gas light a narcissist the reaction would depend on the relevant school and the manner in which you did it, i.e. whether you provided fuel as you did it or not. If no fuel is provided, it would wound and result in ignited fury. Your behaviour would also be used against you by smearing you to third parties and pointing out how YOU are the abuser.

      1. honestyrocks777 says:

        If they believe what they say, then when we correct the story then wouldnt they see that as gaslighting?

        And So if we correct the story and it is just a plain flat tone with no upset nature then would that be a wound?

        And in rewriting history I believe you had said it is to exert control over me.. like when I asked if he wanted to go separate ways. I wanted him to be proud of me. Not have friends who dont like me. So I was willing to let him move on… but I recall you saying it was challenge fuel and then when he told his friends “I gave him an ultimatum” he was writing history to have control over me….

        How is that control over me? I wasnt there. Would it also be control over those he rewrote history to?

        And how is rewriting history and gaslighting different?

        If they rewrite history to start an argument then are you meaning subconsciously?

  3. Overthinker says:

    The ironic thing is it would be better if the person your dealing with was schizophrenic or bipolar at least they are somwe hat treatable with medication. When I was in college majoring in psychology we never studied narcissism maybe because bpd was the disorder of the day but it does stand out in my mind that personality disorders are considered un treatable this was in the late 90s so not sure if the attitude has changed or not

  4. Survivor says:

    Is it any wonder we survivors type into google things like “Is he / she bipolar or schizophrenic?” Because we are yet to come across “those with character disturbances will rewrite history to avoid accountability and will use gaslighting techniques to make their victims feel crazy…. All for the end result of winning”. Yes, pure evil. Hey HG, would you agree that you and your type are actually an Intra species Predator?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Predators kill their prey, we suck you almost dry and then wait for you to recover and then come back for more. We rarely kill you.
      As for intra species, no.

      1. Survivor says:

        You do kill us! You kill our spirit, joy, our very lives! You destroy. You might not call it killing but we do. It’s a kind of soul-death. Most of us recover yes, but some don’t make it out alive, driven by suicide or by yourselves or by a third party of your type. You ARE predators. You prey on kind, unsuspecting, kind, compassionate human beings like Empaths. That makes you and your type predators! And if you’re not an intra species, then what are you? Normal human beings don’t go around trying to destroy other human beings!

      2. Survivor says:

        As for waiting for us to recover and then you come back for more, I think you’d find that most of us would have learnt in the interim how you operate and why no contact is the only option! Are you saying that you and your type would run the risk with a super Empath, knowing full well how the super Empath fought for truth to the point that your type goes underground for fear of exposure? A super Empath can be your worst nightmare, second to you not receiving PF and NF.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          My experience in my private life and the repeated instances I have come across through the blog demonstrate that whilst many learn what to do, they have a hard time in applying it. They create the library of knowledge but then do not go in it at a later juncture.
          A Super Empath does not trouble me in the slightest. It may cause problems for a Lesser or a Mid Range Narcissist.

  5. Ratatoskerin says:

    Talking about history, I always wondered if the name “Tudor” was actually an alias inspired by Henry Tudor, who might very well have been a narcissist, especially considering his treatment of his 6 wifes and his mistresses.
    The rewriting of history is what caused the breakup with my ex Greater; he left for a weekend and tried to rewrite history saying he’d told me, but he hadn’t realised how worried for his wellbeing I would be and how often I would call his mother to find out if she knew where he was and if he was ok…He returned home to quite a shock when she confronted him! He was living with her at the time and was in no position to take his fury out on her, so he turned to me and discarded me. It was the best thing he could have done for me 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He was one of our kind. The name was chosen as we have a connection.

      1. Overthinker says:

        This sounds demented but when I was a kid I was in my happy place the library libraries and bookstores have always been my happy place because I read to escape my life. Anyway I stumbled across a book on king henry and read it in one afternoon. He was a fat miserable pig but it seemed so familiar and deja vuish to me I decided in my child’s brain that this was a result of me being king henry in a former life told this to everyone even my teachers I then read every book in the library on him and he was my obsession for awhile launched my obsession with Tudor archeticture and all things medieval. Glad to hear ur a descendant of the Tudors that’s wicked cool. Do u live in a country manor house in england ? My dream home. Even my daughter is named Gwendolyn a name from that era lol even though I don’t have a drop of British in me my mom is Portuguese and my father is French and Scottish. My daughters father is a Hampton though of English descent . I imagine you have a lot of family stories as a result if your lineage I’m so jealous lol

    2. Sophia says:

      Like you, I involved my ex narcissist’s mother (genuinely thinking she’d help him) during an absent silent treatment. I still get a kick out of him describing all the explanations he was going to have to give her. I took note of it and another time when he wasn’t responding I said, “I should reach out to your mother. She would want to help you.” It’s amazing how quickly he replied.

      HG, has anyone ever involved your mother? If so, how well did that go over?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Yes they have. She uses it to her advantage to draw fuel and in some instances she will use it to maintain her facade with that individual or she will use it dismissively against them under the pretence of “caring” for me. Naturally, she does what suits her best.

        1. honestyrocks777 says:

          What were the 2 things that have to be in place to be a narcissist? What article is that?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            To Control is to Cope.

  6. Petals says:

    I think I do this even more often than my father now. But then, I always did love to write. 🙂

    And yeah, there’s nothing like altering history to make one feel like a goddess (or god).

    Speaking of revising history…I’m thinking my father will have attended all those graduations he was “too busy” at work for. Maybe he skipped my brother’s, but he could never have missed mine. My annoying grandmother and her too-long stories and her Parkinson’s and her Bipolar Disorder, on the other hand, is out. She stayed at home like she should have and just sent a gift. And the class I was valedictorian of (I actually was valedictorian, just so you all know) is about to get much larger.

    It’s been a few years (enough for people’s memories to blur), I think it’s time for the re-imagining of my high school career.

    And this makes me curious…have any of you (other than HG, obviously) revised/re-narrated/altered/made improvements to the past?

    And if you haven’t, have you wanted to and just didn’t have the guts and/or the storytelling ability? Or are you just naturally a slave to the truth who would never consider such a thing?

    1. K says:

      I have never felt the need to alter or revise my past, Petals. Besides, I could not get a word in edge wise with my narcissists.

      1. honestyrocks777 says:

        Sometimes I have noticed very very small additions.. like once my daughter had a fever.. the school called asking why she was out.. her fever was 99.5 or something and I bumped it up too about 100.3 and then caught myself… and it scared me.. I didnt “think” about what i did. It just happened.. how many other times has that taken place with myself?

  7. Overthinker says:

    My sister who I believe is a narc is guilty of this to this day she calls me cookie monster cuz she swears as a child I never stopped eating sweets when in reality I don’t and never had a sweet tooth I crave fats and spicy foods only crave sweets on rare occasions , still bothers me that she tells people to this day that when I was about 5 or 6 I pooped my pants in a Brighams resteraunt and then proceeded to pull my pants down and dump the poop onto the floor . I have no recollection of this and nobody except a very young toddler would do this but my mother also insists it never happened. It seems trivial but at every family function my sister retells this same story that I know never happened among many other falsified events

    1. Sophia says:

      Overthinker,
      Next time she tells the story act like you had an epiphany (serious face of course) and say, “Are you sure that wasn’t you? You remember it so well.” I bet she stops telling the story. Lol

      1. Overthinker says:

        Lol good one

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