Little Acons – No. 22
53 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 22”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Well then I’ll love myself and get a carrot cake!
My birthday is the day b4 a holiday. But I always get the phone calls, cards and whatevers on the holiday. I was told I get the holiday for my birthday. I always liked the idea, but maybe it means I wouldn’t have been remembered w/o the holiday.
At least it was Halloween and not Christmas. LOL!
Hg-is your birthday around this time of year?
It can be if you would like to send me a gift!
Are you just teasing? How would one go about sending a gift to HG? A secret postal box? Post forwarding? Simply address it to HG Tudor, somewhere in the UK?
What gift could possibly be worthy?
Safer to give fuel from afar, I think, It’s always appropriate!
No I am not. They can be sent to my gatekeeper who will then forward them to me.
Perse,
“Simply address it to HG Tudor, somewhere in the UK?”
I am dying😂 again!
Ty for ur humour!!
Echo of my life, even now her voice still grates on me.
My parents never forgot my birthday but my mum will only text happy birthday and never calls. I cant imagine doing the same to my daughter. My childrens birthdays are a week long celebration with a friends party and then a big family party.
Birthdays are a celebration of life.
Narcissists prefer to celebrate themselves not others.
No wonder they ruin the event.
HG what was the best and the worst thing
you did on an IPPS or IPSS birthday?
Other then ignoring it intentionally.
Do you mean the what is the best thing I did for them, or the best thing I did for them? Similarly, do you mean what is the worst thing that happened to me or happened to them?
Hello HG
What is one positive thing you did for a partner on their birthday during the golden period?
What is one negative thing you did for their birthday during devaluation?
It can be for different partners.
I would think based on fuel received from both scenarios at each stage, you were satisfied.
Hello Annalise,
Much to choose from but off the top of my head :-
1. Took the IPPS to Rome for several days on her birthday with accompanying shopping blitz in and around the Spanish Steps on the Via dei Condotti
2. Failed to turn up for her 21st birthday bash leading to search for me as suspected missing person, bash aborted.
Thank you HG.
You are very magnanimous in your gestures for fuel.
I must depend on the situation and stage of relationship
for which you receive the greatest satisfaction.
Did the girl whose party you destroyed, continue to date you following?
Ha! Today is my darth moeder’s birthday. Maybe I should send her this meme😏
I was told, my birthday is not for me, but for all of the guests. They should enjoy it. Therefore I had to have no wishes about the kind of birthday party, I had to do every thing to enjoy my guests. To serve them , to do what my guests wanted, to please them. Birthday was not about me and not for me. When I was a child I often cried about that secretly.
Of course- I wanted to have my guests a nice birthday party but I felt that I should have also a right to say which games should be played on my birthday party or which cake should be served. That was not allowed.
I did not celebrate my birthday for more than 20 years now. Even the narc did not know about my birthday for two years. My workmates were/are not allowed to congratulate me. I still avoid this. They cannot understand it- why should they? It would be normal to celebrate the own birthday.
Mona,
I’m not understanding this. I understand how your family narcs would have destroyed your birthday celebrations with them, but how did they effect your work celebrations? Now matter what machinations my mother concocted to undermine my birthday celebrations, she couldn’t affect what happened at my work.
WS2
I think I understand. I have erased my birthday so it does not exist and because I have erased it, it makes no sense for someone to say, “happy birthday” to me. I do not talk about my birthday like other people do, so I cannot comprehend all the hoopla surrounding it. Personally, I find it inane and silly how some adults yammer on about it. To be clear, those “adults” were my obnoxious narcs.
I now know that “the hoopla” = fuel, ergo, the inane and silly yammering.
You had to erase love, guilt, kindness and empathy to survive and all that was left were the negative feelings.
K
Love, guilt, kindness and empathy are what kept me going and let me survive. I can’t imagine who I’d be if I’d erased them. Birthdays have always been big hoopla’s for me along with every other possible holiday. I always celebrated every holiday I ever heard of – Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Jewish, Pagan – even if it was just quietly in my mind. It was a way to inject happiness and joy into my life. It didn’t matter if no one else I knew celebrated them, but if others did outside my family it added to my joy.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t do this growing up, too. I hope you celebrate more now and find joy celebrating with your daughter! 🎉
K
I completely agree. My bday was not celebrated so it felt weird, phoney, and unwanted to be singled out and have the attention of strangers (work etc) so I avoided it and still do. At some point I also started thinking celebrating birthdays was stupid because you had no control over being born-everyone was, so whats so special? It seemed the epitome of selfishness and narcissistic in the “look at me everybody, arent you all lucky I was born?” Oh and please do come bearing gifts………
Of course now I can see that perhaps its because many times when I was young I wished I hadnt been. My existence was nothing to celebrate.
Thank you WS2!
If you erased all those positive feelings you would be a narcissist. My home life was often violent, so it was safer to be invisible. I do celebrate birthdays and holidays with my children. This will be my first narc free Thanksgiving.
K
Hope you have a great narc-free Thanksgiving! This year you’ll only have one turkey to have to deal with! 😝
Thank you WS2. Only one turkey, Thanks for the laugh! Ha ha ha. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.
K and narcangel,
K,
I’m sorry to read abt ur bday experience. Children deserve bdays!
Narcangel,
I agree with u. I feel birthdays are selfish too, unless ur a kid.
NarcAngel & jenna
As a child, I wished I didn’t exist either and I told my mother: “I wish you aborted me; I would have been better off.”
Jenna
All children deserve birthdays, love and kindness and it is a grievous sin against humanity when children are denied love.
K
I always wished I’d never been born either. My mother reacted very badly to being told that, since she often told me I should be grateful that I had life.
I think we both came away from these discussions feeling we had been dealt a cosmic injustice – me that I had been born to parents who could not understand and love me and her that God had sent her a disrespectful, mentally ill, defective child.
WS2
I am sorry for what your mother put you through. No parent should make their child feel defective or tell him or her that s(he) is mentally ill. That is so wrong, on so many levels and it boils-the-hell-out of my piss. My mother pulled that “be grateful” crap on me, too. Blah, blah, blah…yeah, right. Be grateful that I was beaten, emotionally abused and neglected. Thanks a bunch, mom.
K and windstorm,
This hurts me terribly. K wished to be aborted and windstorm was told she was defective and mentally ill. Oh, how that hurts! My stomach is in knots.
I am glad both of u were born.
K, it is very obvious u have carrier empath qualities, amongst much more strong empathic qualities, which i see clearly on the blog. Windstorm, it is obvious u r an energy empath, amongst other strong empathic qualities. U both r an asset to the blog, and to the world!
I am sure both of u know how valuable u are, but i just wanted to reinforce it! 💗
Thank you, Jenna. That is very sweet. But don’t worry about me. That was more than 50 years ago. My mother’s dead and buried and I’m in a completely different place filled with sunshine and joy. Once you think things thru and enough time has passed, memories fade and lose their ability to cause hurt. I’ve found that once I’ve processed the pain from old wounds, they lose their ability to hurt me anymore. ❤️
Thank you, Jenna!
You are very kind and very astute, as well. I think you are accurate in your assessment regarding me and WS2. We both have many strong empathic qualities and I think the carrier cadre fits me the best so far…and dirty empath, almost forgot that one. I am very happy that I am here with you, WS2 and everyone else on this blog. NPD abuse is a very serious issue and you are correct; we all have something valuable to contribute.
K and windstorm,
Yw.
Windstorm,
I am v happy that the memories don’t hurt u anymore. It is a relief to me. Happy thanksgiving!
K,
I am glad u know how valuable u are, becoz u are shining! Happy thanksgving!
Thank you, Jenna! And belated Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.
Ty k.
Nobody love N..and all of them know that…
My lessers were not into celebrating birthdays. They were often forgotten.
News update:
Heather Unruh accuses Spacey of sexually assaulting her son at a party last year on Nantucket; Spacey purchased alcohol for the 18-year-old until he was drunk, then assaulted him. Spacey is being wounded by all this bad press and has withdrawn from the public in the guise of “unspecified treatment”, which is a euphemism for “needs alternative fuel source”. This is a good example of using fury to disengage, by withdrawing, for fear of more criticism.
When Narcs collide! Spacey and Weinstein are at the same Rehab. Ha!
Patricia J
When narcs collide is correct. So, they are both nursing their wounds together like birds of a feather. Ha, it figures.
I was just telling a close friend how birthdays were not acknowledged in my home growing up. She couldn’t imagine such a thing. How sad that a mother or father won’t give you a happy birthday as a kid. A gift …Heavens no …But at least say something! Thank you to my parents for making me fuel to narcs. But that’s over with.
20th birthday – “Oh we’re just buying you a cake, cuz it’s just a birthday and the headache of family members aren’t invited!”
21st birthday – *dad takes me to aunt’s house*
*Aunt gets a cake for her birthday and my birthday; her birthday is on the 20th and mine is on the 22nd of August. Irony is that her name was written on her cake but my name wasn’t written on the cake*
Why? Cuz screw family, screw scapegoats!!
22nd birthday – *It’s 7PM, it rains outside really heavily*
Dad: “Do you want a cake?”
[Translation in narc language – Does it matter getting a cake for you?]
Me: *SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!!!!*
Hi thepianist…wow thats so hurtful. Surround yourself with friends that see you as special and want to celebrate with you. Im sorry your dad disregarded your bday that way. They really stoop low!
Hello narc affair,
Yes, that happened, dad did that, narcs are experts at being covert, a majority of them had hidden lieutenants and my aunt is one of them,
And not to forget, narcs HATE individuality! They would easily pluck it out of a person,,
Aren’t you too old to celebrate them anymore?
I am only 22, WS2, steady on.
That was a comment I heard frequently from my mother. But you did remind me of a painful memory. At the extended family Christmas gathering when I was 19, I got no gifts from anyone. I had always previously gotten gifts from aunts, grandparents and even cousins. I had of course purchased gifts for everyone and felt slapped in the face when I got nothing in return.
Later my mother told me that all her family had decided to quit giving gifts to anyone in my generation.
“Gifts are just for children and for older relatives to show respect.” Sure enough – no more Christmas gifts. That was hard.
wretched autocorrect? 😛
Hmmm…that’s some nice gas lighting there, HG. I read Fury; I am on to your wily ways.
My 7-year-old is dealing with a little girl, who is a narcissist, at school and she used the line from Empath’s Riposte Grenades: No, that does not make sense.
My daughter told me the little girl got really mad and stomped away. I am so happy she knows how to protect herself, thank you. The girl is triangulating my daughter with another girl.
Im 22 too 😄
narc affair
It is very clear that HG is rubbing off on you, too.
Changed from acons to icons?
Thanks SW, wretched autocorrect.
It is wretched!