The Saviour Empath

THESAVIOUREMPATH

There are four schools of empath (Co-Dependent, Standard, Super and Contagion). There are many cadres of empath which layer on to those schools. These cadres include the Carrier, the Magnet and the Geyser, about which I have written previously. A further cadre is that of the Saviour Empath.

The Saviour Empath’s mission is to heal and to save, to ensure that good prevails. They are the archetypal believer in the idea that there is some good in everybody. With regard to our kind, the Saviour Empath does not consider that we are intrinsically ‘evil’ or ‘bad’. They prefer to adopt the view that there is good locked away inside of us and that it just has to be discovered, unlocked and set free. This notion of course and the desire to address this apparent goodness is a very strong binder which enables us to keep a hold on the Saviour Empath. Indeed, there are those of our kind who will play on this concept and this is addressed below.

The Saviour Empath feels an overriding need to save the world. They wish to right the wrongs, heal the sick, tend to the injured and ensure that injustices are overturned. It is this desire which is at the very heart of the Saviour Empath. The Saviour Empath is often someone who subscribes to a belief system (whether it is organised religion, karma, paganism or similar) although the absence of such a belief does not discount the person as being a Saviour Empath, but a reliance on a belief system is a hallmark of the Saviour Empath.  How does this manifest with regard to each school of empath?

Standard Empath  – the Saviour Standard Empath regards it as imperative that he or she comes to the aid of people. They will donate to charity, help out voluntary organisations and are giving of their time. With regard to the narcissist, this manifests as adopting a sympathetic and compassionate approach to the unusual behaviours (when the empath is not aware they are ensnared by a narcissist) of the narcissist. Accordingly, they regard the narcissist as a ‘good’ person (supported by the narcissist’s illusory behaviour during the golden period) and therefore when devaluation occurs they will ascribe the behaviour to arising from a third party event rather than seeing it as the behaviour of the narcissist at work. The Standard Empath wants to assist the narcissist and does so by trying to understand and offer solutions linked to the aberrant behaviour that is being witnessed. The Saviour Standard Empath whilst wanting to save the narcissist from whatever terrible third party event or influence that is causing the behaviour (for example, is the narcissist struggling at work, is he stressed, has he got problems with money or drink?). The Saviour Standard Empath will put themselves in the firing line when trying to assist, but they do not tend to regard the problem as much to do with them but rather another factor which they want to tackle and overcome.

Super Empath – the Saviour Super Empath is akin to a caped crusader who fires into action whenever he or she witnesses injustice. They cannot help but interfere when really it is not their business (this is the narcissistic trait of selfishness coming to the fore momentarily). The Saviour Super Empath will not turn a blind eye to someone in trouble, they will help the injured person and then look to tackle the perpetrator (or at least bring them to account through formal channels). Thus is the Saviour Super Empath sees someone being attacked, they will help the victim, look to fight off the attacker and/or chase them down, either themselves or enlisting help. They cannot let any kind of injustice go unaddressed. The Saviour Super Empath has a very strong moral compass and therefore when they see something that is wrong, it very much boils their piss so they spring into action. Whilst they always look to help people, what really matters to the Saviour Super Empath is bringing people to account for their actions. If they see a person cutting into a queue (line) they will upbraid the offender. If they witness a person stealing, they will look to stop them or report them. The Saviour Super Empath is a firm believer in the need for good to prevail, whether this is in a situation or in a person. With regard to the narcissist that a Saviour Super Empath is embroiled with, the Saviour Super Empath knows that this person has a kernel of goodness and if they only tried to embrace it, let it shine etc then such a difference will appear. They believe the narcissist has it inside of them to make adjustments, amend their behaviour and harness the intrinsic goodness inside of them. The Saviour Super Empath knows that they are a force for good and they believe that the narcissist can do the same. The Saviour Super Empath recognises that they themselves are good people but that they have some degree of edge to them (their narcissistic traits appearing from time to time) and they often regard the narcissist in the same light – a person who has edge but is intrinsically good – and this fools the Saviour Super Empath in to wanting to assist and save the narcissist.

The Co-Dependent – the Co-Dependent who is of the Saviour Cadre finds the world to be a terrible place and wishes to administer succour to the downtrodden, to assist the hurt, and to heal the wounds of the injured. They are less concerned about bringing the offender to justice and more about attending to the people who are left cowering and broken in the wake of oppression and violence. The Saviour Co-Dependent is a person who is extremely caring and compassionate – the type of person who would join Medicins Sans Frontieres and arriving at the scene of a humanitarian disaster would work themselves into the ground to try and ease the suffering of each and every person even though it is an impossible task. They are often overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world and despair at its evil ways, but this will not stop them from trying to save each and every person who is in need of help. This applies to the way they engage with the narcissist. The Saviour Co-Dependent (“SCD”) knows and is absolutely convinced that the narcissist is at heart a good person and with the right application of guidance, support, compassion and tolerance the narcissist will change, will improve and let that goodness shine. The SCD will not give up on the narcissist, even to personal cost to themselves. They know that redemption is just around the corner, that improvement is on the horizon and they will, with a zeal bordering on delusion, grasp at any sign of improvement or alteration in the narcissist’s behaviour as evidence that their faith has not proven incorrect.

The SCD will flagellate themselves in the pursuit of trying to help and heal the narcissist, their emotional thinking and innate desire to do good, plus their own need to achieve validation through their giving of themselves means he or she will continue to try to achieve the impossible. They will not wish to give up, they will see glimmers of hope, slivers of optimism and fragments of possibility in order to achieve their aim of saving the narcissist.

The Contagion – the Saviour Contagion Empath (“SCE”) will manifest their desire to assist as a consequence of the severe impact felt by them of the negative energy, suffering and misery that accompanies the human condition. The desire to save and resolve, to eradicate the diseased and bring about the healing is different to that of the other schools of empath. The SCE needs to achieve this in order to secure balance, which is their primary aim. By redressing the bad, through their saving good works then balance is restored and the polluting impact upon them of the negative energy which they feel – the manifestation of the woe, misery and hurt that others feel – is removed and no longer (albeit temporarily) ceases to be a burden upon them. With regard to the narcissist, the removal of the dark energy surrounding and flowing from the narcissist’s behaviours has a considerable impact on the finely-tuned SCE. In order to alleviate their own pain, in order to prevent themselves from being consumed by the darkness which they acutely feel, the SCE seeks to save the narcissist from their dark self. They similarly wish to achieve balance with their own personal narcissist or narcissists.

How are these various schools of Saviour Empath regarded by our brethren? As you might expect, the SE is naturally desired by narcissists for their empathic traits, class and special traits too. Accordingly, no narcissist will ever shy away from the ensnaring of the SE. There are certain schools and cadres of narcissist however that desire the SE in particular.

Victim Narcissists desire the Saviour Empath owing to their need to be mothered, looked after and saved from their various ailments (real or imagined). The SE’s desire to bring about healing and resolution is savoured by this cadre of narcissist. Lesser Narcissists will not turn away a Saviour Empath, but they are not favoured (unless the Lesser is of the Victim Cadre) since the Lesser has no truck with the idea of being healed or saved. From what? Will be the mocking response as their  complete lack of self-awareness means that they have no comprehension or need to be saved in that manner.

Mid Range Narcissists treasure Saviour Empaths because of the fact that some Mid Range Narcissists like to play the ‘troubled soul’ or ‘personal demons’ approach. Whilst unaware of what they are, their awareness that there is something not quite right, coupled with their passive behaviours and need for attention, means that the Mid Range Narcissist truly sees the Saviour Empath as the one who will save him from himself, even though this is just part of the manipulation to keep the Saviour Empath hooked. The Mid Range will revel in becoming the pet project for the Saviour Empath and will instinctively play along by tossing a bone of apparent awareness or improvement in order to maintain the hoped for glorious redemption that the Saviour Empath craves.

The Greater Narcissist is likely to prefer other cadres but again is not going to kick the Saviour Empath out of bed for eating crisps. The Greater may find tormenting the Saviour Empath a delightful machination by increasing the visibility of their dark side so that the Saviour Empath sees a challenge which has to be surmounted. Of course, the Saviour Empath is blind to the fact that the Greater cannot be healed or saved, but that will not stop the Saviour Empath from trying time and time again.

18 thoughts on “The Saviour Empath

  1. Jasmine says:

    LOL. We sound like a bunch of X-Men! “I’m Super Savior Empath. What’s your superpower? “

  2. Noname says:

    You are absolutely right about Empath’s desire to heal “poor dears”, Tudor. But mechanisms of that desire have their own characteristics.

    1. Pain.
    Yes, Empaths can sense, feel and experience another human pain. Childhood psychical and physical traumas, violence, diseases, accidents. Empath could “get it” even if he/she has never experienced it before. And that pain wounds the Empath, because it becomes his/her OWN pain. Empath could even get a physical illness from that.

    Healing him/herself from that aquired pain, Empath gets a priceless “knowledge” how to do it in the best way, and then he/she can help others with similar problem to heal their own pain, because now he/she knows how. The more painful experiences are met by Empath in his/her life, the more “powerful” he/she becomes.

    For example, many previously abused women become volunteers at various shelters. They have a personal experience of abuse, they know how to fight for themselves, they know how to heal themselves. So, they have a knowledge how to help other victims of abuse. The Empath doesn’t have to be previously abused to get that knowledge. It is enough to meet a victim of abuse, “connect” and listen to him/her.

    2. Darkness – Disbalance.
    Yes, Empath senses and feels that also, but he/she, in contrast to pain, DOESN’T experience it as his/her OWN. He/she just notices and observes it. If the Empath HAS a desire to harmonize it, then he/she does it. If not, then he/she walks away.

    The someone’s “darkness” itself cannot disbalance the Empath, but abusive behavior that always combines with that darkness can do that. If Empath leaves the “source” of abuse (and Empath always does it), he/she heals pretty quickly after that.

    So, the someone’s PAIN can wound an Empath, not the someone’s “darkness”. The big irony is that the Narcs aren’t the most “dangerous” persons to Empaths, but the Victims of severe narc-abuse are. Their pain is immence and, sometimes, it is very hard to experience it with them.

    The Empaths aren’t so vulnerable as you think, Tudor. We can protect themselves from wounding pretty easily.

    We can put the “walls” up (and people sense it and often it offends them, especially if we communicated without those walls with them earlier), when we temporary want to “hide” themselves from world.

    We can be indifferent and, in that case, we sense the presence of someone’s pain, but we DON’T feel it as our OWN. It doesn’t wounds us anymore. But, the indifference is irreversible condition. Once gained, never disappeared.

    Abuse.
    Well, it hurts and damages EVERYONE – Narcs, Empaths, Normals, Abnormals – all of them. The abuse isn’t specific.

    But, of course, the Empaths experience it more often, than anyone else, because the empathy often combines with a KINDNESS.

    The KIND Empaths have much more desire to heal “poor dears” and they do it pretty insistently, paying very high price for that unselfish act. It is the case, when the kindness “kills” Empath. When I realized it, I learned how to keep the kindness at bay. So, now I’m not always a kind Empath. Moreover, I can be very unkind Empath. Lol.

    So, if the Empath sits before you and listens to your sad story, that means, that that person WILLINGLY, CONSCIOUSLY agrees to “take” and experience your pain. That means, that Empath likes you enough to torture him/herself for your own sake. That means, that Empath will “digest” your (and from now his/her own) pain, then heal him/herself and then heal you. That the highest honor one human is capable to give to another human.

    1. Sophia says:

      No name….I completely get what you’re saying. I am incredibly empathetic and very passionate towards those I love and the values I hold dear. Yet, certain things can make me flip a switch and I’m done. Indifferent. Completely unable to empathize with that person again. It’s baffling to those that know me well because it’s rare. I wish I could control these switch flipping moments.

  3. Dr Eudora Fletcher says:

    The Zelig Empath was a joke. I understand that, since I belong to the empath family, it is natural that I share traits with other types of empaths. I know this is a classification, archetypes, so that we can see better the traits that narcisssists exploit to ensnare and abuse us. It is also a way for you to show your intelligence and greatness (joke).
    I do find some strong traits of mine in the saviour cadre. Interestingly, I see myself more in the super empath saviour than the codependent saviour.

    Also interesting, neither my mother nor my ex have passive aggressive behaviour. I know some MR. They are different.

  4. Findinglife11 says:

    I used to think their was good in everyone. As a result of my experience w the narciccist (the… no longer “my” narciccist. Shiver….).
    I no longer hold that worldview.
    However…. i cannot help but to admit that i do still think this way about you HG. Perhaps a testimony to who i am. Bc you have a level of self awareness that makes me think that you can break out. I know u can’t bc of what u say and how you are… but i still hold an inkling of hope for u regardless. The narc in my life i have come to believe does not have any self awareness as to who he is but lives daily in deceit of who he is. Who he is works against him and any hope of self awareness and admission of his narc state. Which is so weird to me.
    But U.
    U have made the jump to self awareness and intimate understanding of who u are and how u work. So bc of this… i believe In the hope that maybe u would be willing to try another form of existence…. risking that u will not die
    🙂
    I have no hope for the narc in my once life (only tied to him through kids) that he will ever change. He is inherently and ignorantly evil.
    I dont believe u are.
    Knowledge is power.

  5. Ugotit says:

    I think I’m a carrier after reading everything except I can’t find anything on contagion empaths under that main types

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s because I haven’t written about them yet.

      1. Ugotit says:

        Good I was going nuts trying to find it

  6. Ugotit says:

    Still have no idea what I am

  7. narc affair says:

    I need to get schools and cadres straight and often confuse them.
    I feel i fit under super savior empath but do not consider myself to be a super empath. I dont feel i fit under codep savior but i do consider myself a codependant.
    The reason i see myself as a super savior empath based on the description is bc ive always felt compelled to stick up for those being mistreated. Its something within me that cant let it go. It goes against everything i am to turn a blind eye. Itll eat at me if i couldve done something and didnt. Its something im trying to modify bc not always is it best to get involved in situations that arent my concern. At the same time i cant just stand by if someones getting attacked or bullied especially where children are involved. I wont. Strength in numbers. Stand up for what you believe in!
    I went to an antibully night at my kids school and theyre teaching the kids that the biggest sector of the schools population are the kids that arent bullies or saviours and that these neutral kids are a silent majority and need to step up to the plate and back the bullied kids. I agree with this. If you stay silent against abuse it grows. Shed light and stand against it. Anyone can be a savior empath by supporting those they see attacked or mistreated but sadly so many are afraid to get involved when they really should.

  8. PureRage says:

    Wow!
    YES. This Saviour Emphat has finally ESCAPED!!!
    Woah unto him if ever comes near
    me !!!!
    A cold shoulder i will give.
    NO FUEL.
    I KNOW EACH OF HIS GAMES NOW.

  9. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    You know that feeling when you’re sitting in church and a fear arises that the preacher knows one of your secrets… because that sermon sure does feel as if it’s directed squarely at you?

    I felt my heart beat faster and my face become warm when reading this.

    All I can say right now is… Wowzers. I think I need a moment to gather my thoughts.

  10. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    I actually prefer foods that don’t leave crumbs.

  11. Windstorm2 says:

    Well I am definitely not one of these. Healing and “saving” can only come from within. The only person I can save is myself – and that’s not a sure thing! 😄

  12. Becky says:

    Wow. So a narcissist and an empath in a relationship is like good and evil personified. Like if God and the Devil dated. Talk about opposites attracting!

    I used to consider myself an empath, but not anymore. I don’t identify with any of these traits. The codependent side hits more home with me.

    1. Catherine says:

      Becky,

      Your comment reminds me of some quote I read somewhere. About a monk in the desert advising a traveler passing by that the voices of God and the Devil are indistinguishable I think. It certainly applies to narcissism.

  13. Thank you for your useful article

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