The Narcissistic Covenant
There is a covenant which exists between you and I, between our kind and your kind. It is not necessary for you to provide consent to this covenant in order for it to be binding. You do not know that this covenant exists but it does. Its terms govern the relationship between us and you, whether you are entangled with the Lesser of our kind, the Mid-Range of the Greater. It matters not. The covenant applied from the moment that we selected you to be our victim. There are ten parts to this covenant and they reflect the mind set and attitude of our kind towards you and how you and I interact. There is little doubt that in looking back at your entanglement with us you will recognise certain elements of this but whilst you were very much in our grip, you would have no idea that these were the terms which governed our treatment of you.
- You were chosen
Our ensnaring of you might have been portrayed as chance, a piece of serendipity but it was not. You were chosen to be our victim. The Lesser will have instinctively recognised your potential without knowing why. The Mid-Range will have applied some thought to the process, potentially dismissing less favourable candidates. The Greater identified you, monitored you and then moved in for the “kill”. In every instance you were chosen.
- You belong to us
You are an object to us. An appliance. Therefore, we are able to assert proprietary rights over you just as we would with some other kind of object or chattel. Since we own you, we choose what to do with you, without recourse to you or anybody else. This is our inalienable right.
- You exist solely for our purposes
We are the centre of your world, the heart of your universe and at all times everything that you do should be focused on us, for our benefit and advancement. You do not exist for your family. You do not exist for our children. You do not exist for your friends, colleagues, fellow members of a club or congregation. We are all that matters to you.
- This is forever
This covenant lasts for ever. In our minds it is one that exists in perpetuity for we do not wish to contemplate our own demise and care nothing for yours, other than it inconveniencing us by the interruption to our supply of fuel. This relationship transcends all others. You may have told us that you do not wish to be “with us” any longer. You may have broken off the engagement or divorced us. In our mind all that you have done is end the Formal Relationship which is something that people lesser than our kind engage in with one another and that which we accede to for the sake of fitting in. In our minds our relationship exists beyond this Formal Relationship. This is the Narcissistic Relationship and means we remain entitled to effect the terms of this covenant against you at all times until your last breath or our last breath.
- This is totalitarian
There is no limit to our power over you. We are entitled to and we will exercise our right to, govern every facet of your life, interfere in everything that you do, monitor you and control you in order to achieve our aims. You must accept that you are entirely subservient to us.
- You cannot end this covenant
You have no rights under this covenant. You cannot bring about its unilateral termination. Indeed, it cannot be ended at all. You are not able to state that its terms are inapplicable to you, that it has no jurisdiction or effect over you. Such protestations are invalid.
- We owe you nothing
We are entitled to do as we please without challenge, question or restraint. We have no obligation to do anything for you. We have no compulsion to act in your interests, have regard to your opinion, your feelings or your desires. If we do so, it will only be for the advancement of our position.
- Fuel provision is paramount
The provision of fuel is above all else. This is in terms of what you must provide to us and also in allows us to seek fuel from other sources, whenever we deem necessary and howsoever we choose. Concepts of fidelity and monogamy are null and void with regard to this part of the covenant. Issues of protocol and etiquette and meaningless.
- The Ends Justifies the Means
The covenant grants us carte blanche to do what is necessary for our purposes. This is supported by our concept of total entitlement and the fact that we have no accountability, culpability or blameworthiness for any of our actions. Whatever needs to be done will be done to ensure the furtherance of our agenda, aims and needs.
- We are the Victim
We are the victim in all of this. This is why the covenant exists by reason to compensate us for all of the outrageous injustices, misfortunes, unfairness and hardships that this cruel and feckless world has meted out to us.
10 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Covenant”
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The Covenant….
It is indeed an unilateral covenant….under the narcissist’s perspective.
What about the counterpart’s perspective and role in this covenant?:
Even though the Narcissist believes that there is one, that does not mean that there is one in reality, there was never one.
With time, all and each one of the 10 terms of agreement start slowly falling apart until you finally choose to leave him/her behind. Doesn’t matter if he/she dis-engaged or if you escaped.
What happens if i.ex.we topple the first term of the agreement?:
1. You were chosen . Yes we were, but we do not want you.
The rest of the terms of the covenant then fall apart.
So this agreement suddenly turns to be unilateral to our advantage.
Ultimately, it is us ( the counterpart) who decide if this
“covenant “comes into effect or not, not the Narcissist.
What hits me in your posts it that you seem to never doubt the effect of your actions in ‘the victim’. Do you ever doubt if your interpretation is right? Do you use exaggeration as a figure of speech?
There is no doubt as I have seen the impact repeatedly.
I have a silly question do they feel the same with people they dis engaged from. Also Merry Christmas everyone
Yes as this covenant underpins the Narcissistic Relationship.
Merry Christmas SandraDee! And remember the narcissistic relationship is forever (until death) even when dis-engaged.
Mega harsh truths. Slavery in extreme. Our empathy (goodness) is our downfall. Talk about unfair. Because our hearts are loving and true and faithful your kind come , and the N contract / covenant destroys us. HG could you improve on the DSM diagnostic manual questions for the good Dr’s and us? Is there any ironclad way aside from falling in Love trappings to see n’s coming b4 the devastation and destruction? Every empath ensnared and demolished makes the world a colder place. 😕
HG,huge thanks for the article!
Thanks for the hypothesis how narc and non narcs evolve. (The schools i mention are tips not facts below).
I have learned a lot from the comments, so i write mine to learn from. Thanks for the good comments and the life stories!
The covenants i saw in my life. (I am a narc magnet but only list my 2 biggest pimps. ((I actually have a big 3rd one but he is out of the picture)).)
1.pimp I was raised to be a narc, interestingly my upper-midrange father raised me to be a mid-greater but fully crashed and smashed me later as his conservative & narc ideas of women collided with his high hopes for me as a prodigy kid.
2. Pimp My upper-lesser ex groomed me to be his sociopath bride and but fully crashed and smashed me later as did not comply. He triangulated my with his mid-mid IPSS who became the ideal for him and paraded her along in his self defense business (really!!!) as co-instructor, pushing and punishing me aside.
Question:
What happens when two narcs make a covenant? Who is more superior then? Who can be the only entitled person to own the other? Some types ensnare each other.
Why i ask:
I have seen more couples but do not know the ‘anatomy’ behind it. HG did 2 videos on it, i know. But as they like assimetric relations and play the boss it is always an interesting dinamic and i would like to understand it.
Observation:
2. Pimp. What i have seen in my ex and ipss-s case is that they prey on others or do cons together, Bonnie and Clyde things. They do not have others to put down/con/rob/bully they start to fight each other for getting the dominant position. If they do not get enough admiration or adrenalin fix as a duo they can get at each other. Especially so as i stepped out of the dinamics thanks to HG.
1. Pimp. My narc father was later smashed and crashed by his love of life narc ipss later ipps with whom be drove my mother mad and dead. (The woman was so cold and disciplined like a prison warden in a body of an ex hooker, wtf… i could not put her into a category jet). Of course he did not became a better person after the defeat but rather got the perfect childlike maiden victim wife (just after another narc woman).
Other blablah:
As i realised the paralels i fought for a year but stepped out in summer i was forced by my ex narc because my protest against his affair, then i got to know this site and started to read the writings and every comment too.
Then I helped my ex narc not to be crashed by his sociopath bride. I know, no contact is the best….but…my father became even more evil after crashed by his narc love of his life. I did not wanted my ex to become more evil as he already is. He also reads this blog now, to get more self-reflection. I know mistake no 2. Knowledge can heal or cause more damage i know…
Question:
Can someone help me with info/ideas about covenants between narcs? I am eager to learn. Thanks!
Sorry missed to include:
– an interesting song lyric (+video is worth looking into) about a narc covenant i belive:
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/smashingpumpkins/avaadore.html
– Also very interesting film is Bitter Moon about a covenant till death.
– Highly interesting educational fuel matrix movie about 3 types of Narcs is LA Confidential.
(my tips for the characters in the film are: upper-lesser is Russel Crowe, great mid is Kevin (proven narc) Spacey, upper greater is the third guy).
Have a blessed narcfree or narcmild Christmas! Thanks for the educational work HG!
You are welcome.