The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 6
13 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 6”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Thank you, HG, for your insightful advice. I’m one year free of my narc but we work in the same school and his new primary works with us too. She is a deeply troubled, promiscuous empath with borderline personality. May I ask what is my best strategy for dealing with these two when the school year begins again in a few weeks? I have been dealing with the triangulation for 2 years and feel free if it with the summer distance but fear the worst when I return to school. Any advice is appreciated!
Lynn in NY
Hello Lynne, this is a matter best addressed through consultation.
HG, are these icicles used to target the empaths sense of guilt?
Bring them to heel.
Yes – they are to provoke in certain ways to draw fuel and to exert control.
Congratulations on reaching over 8 million hits! This is a remarkable achievement in such a short time.
I appreciate your insights from the narcissist’s perspective, the valuable tools you give us to help us deal with them and the possibility to look inside ourselves, to change and to heal. Thank you, HG.
Thank you EB.
Sounds familiar. 😒
Isn’t it true that the narcissist makes up scenarios to try to make the Previous PS fit whichever of the examples he might want to fit. For instance, he could behind the scenes decide to call the ex the harpy oil spouter, but he may be stonewalled or receiving indifference.
The worst is when the victim really believes that the abuse is her fault and responsibility. In this belief there’s not only misplaced shame but also toxic hope that things can be better if the victim changes this or that, etc.
It’s really very manipulative and messed up.
In the refusal of the abuser to accept any responsibility or accountability there is always the highlighting of this terrible toxic hope, which is indeed the very last thing that dies.
I agree with you Mara. However, being with a narc makes you self reflect a lot. And that isn’t a bad thing. (Generally speaking:) This abuse is not your fault, but it makes you see (especially once the relationship is over) why you allow yourself to be abused. It also makes you see many things where you were wrong yourself. We may be non-narcs, but that doesn’t mean we do not make mistakes ourselves. It’s good to see your own flaws and try to be a better, more understanding human being.
Dear Mr. Tudor, this above comment is awaiting moderation for 3 days already. Why? Do you not approve?
Hello Blank, because I have been moderating other comments so I have just not got to it yet and/or the comment maybe long/need consideration/ask questions and thus remains in moderation longer.
Okay! I know!
(Kinda mean… sob).