Poll : What Is Your View About the #metoo Movement?
The #metoo movement is prominent and shows no sign of disappearing soon. Originating from the early disclosures about sexual harassment and misconduct by certain individuals in the entertainment industry ( A Very Hollywood Narcissist and A Very Deflecting Narcissist ) this movement has gathered pace with scores of allegations from (mostly) women towards individuals in the film, television, political and entertainment sectors. Individuals have been identified and subjected to extensive disclosures through the media, particular events have come under scrutiny (The President Club’s dinner in the UK being one example) and the impact continues to spread. Rallies have taken place, speeches given and people encouraged to come forward and confirm that they too have experienced unwelcome sexual behaviour towards them. The allegations have gone beyond the famous with millions confirming they have had similar experiences, ranging in seriousness and frequency.
As I have detailed in previous articles, our kind are evident in many guises throughout all of this. From perpetrator, to opportunistic “victim”, to hypocrite through to puppeteers you will see our kind appearing left, right and centre.
How do you regard this movement? Is it about time the perpetrators were outed in the media and hanged by public opinion, losing jobs and contracts? Is it the platform from which more might be achieved in terms of gender equality in pay and conditions, causing a huge shift in cultural attitudes in the way the sexes speak and behave with one another? Has it signalled the end of “playful flirtation” between people? Are people making too much of it, hollering from the rooftops because a hand was placed on a knee once at a diner or is it right that all unwelcome actions and words are identified, exposed and punished? Perhaps you feel that too many are using it as an opportunity to virtue signal and even make false allegations?
Choose the options which sum up your views (you may choose as many as are applicable) before voting and as usual do expand on your thoughts in the comments.
Thank you for participating.
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Why do somatic’s need to get ‘naughty’ fuel during the day when they go looking for the one that wears the short skirt for him, the one showing the cleavage for him, the ones that longingly allow him to grope them. Doesn’t matter their age, their shape, he needs something naughty to give him a high. Something quick and almost innocent. It’s not about emotions, he’ll do it to women who don’t even realize he’s doing it. It’s about sex. Why must he have this?
It is the acquisition of fuel, same as another method of gaining it. Somatics use sex as the main method of doing so.
I think it is to cover up the huge pedophilia problem. That is a much bigger issue, in my mind. That’s actual rape and the kids aren’t in a position of power at all. He actresses could have said no and/or made this known much sooner but they didn’t out of fear. The child rape is heinous….
Before this hashtag was started and we saw the first faces of the guilty and heard what is known of what they had done, my son said to me, “wow, these guys make all men look bad”.
He just now expressed to me his concern about what he will be facing when he finally finishes his education and embarks on his career. I have heard other men expess the same thoughts and they are all anxious about being alone with a woman in the office and being accused of doing something inappropriate. I told my son that he is respectful and not lecherous or flirtatious, that he carries himself in a way that no one could perceive him as being there to do anything but work, but that he has to be aware that women who are competing with him in this arena may make a false allegation to get him out of their way.
I was one of the few to choose “an insidious plot” because I believe that this is what they want – for our men to be intimidated, resulting in them putting the brakes on their momentum so that women can pass and surpass them.
I do not want anything or anyone to hinder my son from realizing his full potential and becoming the man he was born to be.
Your son has some valid concerns Kate.
Hopefully, the fear of the unknown will be worse than anything he might encounter.
But I can say from my personal experiences that many women in the workforce are fair and open-minded, so hopefully your son will have zero issues involving any false claims. However. it’s a positive attribute to want to think ahead, to talk it out so that he can plan and be prepared should he find himself in a compromising situation. Sounds like your boy has a good head on his shoulders.
And it certainly sounds like you have given him good advice. Perhaps once he gets settled and comfortable in his new position, he’ll find allies in both sexes and will be able to relax and enjoy a successful career.
No doubt, he has already made you proud.
Thank you, BurntKrispyKeen! I appreciate that!
Hi Bkk! I understand where you are coming from when you say, you are getting to an age where it’s difficult to be sexy uncovered. Always remember, confidence and swag bring a lot to sexy that even a Vicky Secretes or Frederick’s of Hollywood teddy could not.
Clarece and BKK,
My friend has been out of that industry for decades. We are both women of, shall we say, a certain maturity. Her mother though, is still quite the narcissistic scat pile.
Y’all were making me laugh about the underwear thing. I have worn lingerie before, because I knew that s**t would be coming off fast. But I pay good money for underwear to stay out of my bottom cleavage. Never could understand those that find the thong “comfortable”.
I’ll stick with my soft cotton jockeys, thank you very much. I even laughed over all the underwear I’ve had to replace because my N had a strange obsession with cutting off my underwear while I was sleeping.
String bikinis, so 2 snips! he’d toss them on the pillow for me to find when I woke.
That was when I still felt safe enough to sleep through without starting awake in the middle of the night.
nowadays, nobody sees my chonis but me.I walk around my house in them, shades drawn. Nobody would run screaming, but neither will they be impressed. But my butt is comfortable.
Hear her, hear her!
Cheers for comfortable panties!
And again, Perse… that’s even more money he owes you. There should be a claim form for underwear reimbursement. Just for you, I could politely and carefully ask HG to check with legal to see if something could be drafted, but from what I’ve learned at Narcsite Corporation… we don’t stand much of a chance for any refunds.
PSA: Beware of narcissists with scissors.
Even undergarments aren’t safe. Jeez.
Perse and BKK
I would be more concerned that he has scissors in the bed, but then again I’m the one who woke up with an axe against her back with someone whispering chop chop chop.
Now that sent a river of fear thru me way more than HG’s “Hush” article ever does, Narc Angel.
Clarece
Different kind of shiver. What can I say? I bring out the best in people. It gave me some concern, but In the vein of never let them see you sweat-I turned just my head and in a very even voice said: Its a little early for camping isnt it? and remained a few minutes before getting up. He remained there silent.
BKK.
I would imagine that, should you inquire, HG would report back that legal’s opinion is that I would have been eligible to complain of the loss of the first pair, but since I did not take the option to GOSO, implement NC and deny the N further access to said undergarments, guarding against future losses, any further loss of crotch covers, hiney hiders, or booty blinds are solely the claimants liability.
If I had been one to repay kind with kind, I would have used scissors to remove the skid marks from HIS underwear, instead of bleach.
😉
More fun with panties:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3y8vmw
20:07
I just crack up hearing Dave Foley say that!
NarcAngel,
Yikes!!!! That’s scary!
I would have made a dummy in the bed, and slept somewhere else; like behind a locked door, holding the only key, and a burglar bar holding the door!
I agree, Clarece. That is horrifying. I am happy to know you survived such a paralyzing ordeal, Narc Angel, and are here to warn others. We can’t ajways anticipate how fast a situation can change, so your story might just be enough to convince another, as HG says… to Get Out & Stay Out. I’m thinking an axe to the back is pretty convincing.
“It’s a little early for camping.” – Narc Angel
Perfect. You remained calm, showed no emotion, and delivered a fantastic line. Not sure very many of us could have succeeded under the same circumstances.
Still, I’m sorry any woman had to endure a narcissist with an axe. Creepy. But it’s nice to see he didn’t get the reaction he was anticipating. You should apply for a Screen Actors Guild card. You pulled off a professional performance.
Well done, Narc Angel.
BKK
Oh he wasnt a narc-just my ex-husband lol. He knew the end of the marriage was near and I did think he had snapped for a second, but I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of fear and was pissed that he knew about my violent StepNarc and yet thought I would be intimidated by this. Amateur. There was no conversation immediately after and then we were picked up by relatives to attend a family Christmas brunch. In the car he leaned over to whisper something in my ear and I cut him off with: Sleep lightly asshole, because you wont get the consideration of feeling the blade or see it coming. I left shortly after.
Perse
There was a dummy in the bed-I left him there.
I needed to correct this as it:
A) Shows you dont have to be with a narc to experience abuse and should not ever tolerate it.
B) Was not fair to Narcs. Ba hahahaha
You’re killin’ me, Perse.
And you’re probably right. I don’t think we’re going to get much sympathy from the upper management around here, at least not over bloomers.
I loved your post!
Upper management suggests more than one type of management BKK. There is only THE management.
I gotcha Boss.
This is no easy task you tackle here at Narcsite.
At one of my sites that I visit for work, their employees are predominantly female. It’s one of my favorite places for that very reason. Most of my other sites have employees who are mainly male, so a day conversing with women offers a much needed change. I have back-to-back visits at the factory with the female workers, so I don’t take time to break for a lunch because I barely can get them all seen before the end of their shift. Many have several pressing issues they are trying to resolve. It is not uncommon to have at least two break down on me, if not more, during the course of my time there. Often, I’m crying with them.
I find it incredibly rewarding to try to help, but I always leave there weary and worn. Relationship issues seem to be a big concern, especially for the younger ladies. I’ll give them advice and might even offer a line or two on what to tell their fellows. I feel blessed when I receive a random text thanking me, telling me that “it worked!”
I take these girls under my wing and do my best to guide them. They have no idea that I struggle so or that I’m essentially more fucked up than they ever thought about being.
It makes me feel like the cobbler whose children have no shoes. And it’s as if you’re the Italian shoemaker whom I turn towards for secrets of the trade.
So know that I understand, from my personal interactions with women, just how needy we can sometimes be. And even though I think the study has been disputed which claimed that women speak 20,000 words a day while men only speak 7,000… I know for certain we can be an expressive gender, especially when in crisis. It takes a lot of energy to listen to (or read) all of the issues each individual has going on… man or woman, for that matter.
So you reminding me that you really are a one-man-army… I’d like express my gratitude once more for all that you do.
And it’s not even Boss’s Day.
Thank you BKK, I appreciate you doing so.
And I think that’s an important reminder, Narc Angel… that abusers come in all forms. Perhaps someone will find the courage to leave his/her abuser based on what you’ve shared… and to have the strength to do so in the manner you did.
I love what you told him. If you’re gonna leave, you might as well do it in style!
Ha! That’s a well-needed reminder, Clarece, because I definitely have the attitude! (Even if it’s not always a pleasant one.)
But in all seriousness, that spark really does come from within. For those of us of an empathic nature, we are no strangers to sensuality, and I like to keep all five of my senses engaged. Then, I’m too busy to focus on any other concerns or worries.
Oh boy. I can’t even finish my thoughts as I can see I’m starting to get out of hand! I should have never made that frank-n-beans reference on that other post. Pretty much put my mind in a place I don’t need to go. (I think the stress of narcissism has turned me into a sailor.) Whew! At least I caught myself before I went further into the five senses.
But yes… I agree that the swag will carry one far. 😉
I chose I wonder where it is going to end, and what the unintended consequences will be.
For those in the entertainment business, there are already unintended consequences, in that so many people’s employment are intertwined with that of the accused perpetrators.
I’m happy to see people rightfully accusing their abusers. I think that what I have mentioned, though, about employment being conditional with the well being of the abuser, is what stops many from speaking out. I think it is also the reason Bill Cosby was one of the first finally accused, since so few people now count on him for employment.
And then there are others who are quite open about their assholishness, such as Andy Dick (What a perfect moniker for him!), and Louis CK. Well, there are Red Flags and Klaxon Blaring with them, but some naive person will get caught up there, too. Do they get a pass for being up front? Not any more, even though they have not tried to hide. They of course, deflect if not deny.
I have a friend who was a child actor, and I have heard stories about even those actors who had a wonderful public face. She told me that adolescence in show biz was such a minefield, she no longer enjoyed it, and wanted out. Meanwhile her mother is berating her for “not being confident enough” to do a requested wardrobe change in an open conference room, in front of 4 men, auditioning her for a small movie role. “You’ll never get the part if you act shy!” while my friend just wants to maintain her modesty with bodily changes that she is struggling to accept.
The current/former child victims are the ones who get the most of my sympathy. They likely had no choice, where as the rest of us, had at some time weighed the pros and cons of a situation, whether to accept or reject abuse, to report or not, based on what our perceived outcome would be.
Those who read here, are more aware than the general public, what the perpetrators are. We also know more abuser will come along, and as long as their facade remains in place, they will get away with their misdeeds.
So, there is a need to rip the lambs pelt from the wolf’s back, in all areas of life, not just entertainment industry.
If I had had children, this site would be a required course in my homeschooling curriculum.
Oh Perse! I came back to this post 3 times really disturbed by that mother pushing that audition on her daughter. My gut reaction would be to buy a partition or pop up tent for her to have privacy to change. There is absolutely no reason for four men to have that set up in a casting call except it suits their visual pleasure during a long day of auditions. Especially with adolescent kids.
I saw plenty of these kinds of mothers at the dance competitions when we were involved for four years. 8, 9, 10 year old girls completely naked while their mothers redid their hair or make up backstage. Put a towel or robe around them. Maintain some modesty for them. It’s like these mothers are the attention mongers and wish they could sit naked in a sea of people in these huge dressing areas with all eyes on them (think a large classroom fitting several schools of dancers in them). It would be so awkward because you’re trying to talk and converse with your team then immediately look down to divert your eyes to allow for privacy.
I hope the actor friend does not let her mother break her spirit for trying to maintain some self-respect and dignity.
Sarah Jessica Parker maintained a no nudity clause in her contract for every season of Sex and the City. Never hurt her career. It can be negotiated and done.
Perse and Clarece… you both bring up excellent points. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that situation would be for an adult, let alone child. I’m feeling modest just thinking about it. To be put in that situation would feel degrading. It even feels abusive.
I remember reading that about SJP. I always respected her for taking that stance. I hope that doesn’t go forgotten within the industry as young women need that kind of role model. Actually, with the way some young girls dress and present themselves, I wish all women knew what SJP knows… that women can still be sexy, even when covered.
But I’m getting to the age where it’s more difficult to be sexy uncovered… so what do I know? (Other than clothes are my friend.) But you two brought up some interesting topics. I enjoyed your comments, as always.
If only the MeToo movement would acknowledge the one common denominator, ALL NARCISSISTS. A perfect opportunity to open discussion and promote awareness, yet no one seems to notice.
Absolutely numb, time to start alerting other channels to my work…
Is it too late to switch positions to situations? That didn’t exactly read well.
Jeez.
BKK,
I’ve never been the type to ask a guy out either. Maybe there’s something to that…
I can see the pros and cons of that approach. You got me to remembering also Clarece. An older male client of mine once told me that he didn’t think men and women could be friends. I told him that I disagree, that I have several male friends and our relationships have stayed platonic. He said, “Let me rephrase. Women can be friends with men, but men can’t be friends with women.”
He went on to say that all men are hunters. While the female might have platonic intentions, he warned that the male will always be looking for an opening. He said the only exception is a boy and girl that grew up as friends, more like brother and sister. They MIGHT be able to pull it off, he said, but even then… the man will be looking for her weak moment, for that time when she’s down and puts her head on his shoulder to cry.
Wowzers! I had never had anybody lay it out quite like that. We women know we can handle ourselves, but since I now have major trust issues… his words of wisdom scare me!
Add thinking about your boss’s son, and it does make one stop and ponder. It’s always refreshing to hear of a faithful man. Actually, it’s encouraging. Thanks for sharing that Clarece.
BKK,
I used to think men that said this were cynical or just didn’t have female friends. The reality of it is, men are wired different than we are. I’m sure there are rare exceptions to the rule, I’m just not as idealistic anymore.
Especially after one of my best guy friends hit on me in a not so respectful way. He had been my friend for a few years, still is in a distant way. It really bothers me that now I have to question his intentions.
I agree, Sophia. They are wired differently. That’s unfortunate about your friend. Those moments can be so awkward, and I imagine you hated the thought of it ruining a good friendship.
But a part of me feels sorry for the guys too. I knew it’s different nowadays, where women ask out men, but I’m old-fashioned. I’ve never asked out a man. (other than already being in a relationship and saying let’s do this or wanna do that?) So a part of me can’t help but feel a bit sorry for the male. It takes a lot of courage, I would assume, for a man to ask out a woman not knowing if he will get shot down. So I have a soft spot for them there as I am appreciative that we women don’t have to be the hunters. But being the gender that is typically pursued seems to leave us more vulnerable… so I’m still trying to figure it all out.
But yeah, Sophie, your situation proves that at least my older gentleman client seems to know what he’s talking about.
Beware of the Great Male Hunter!
Didn’t find anything corresponding with my views among the variants. What can be done in result of this wave of exposure (and also this site aids to this goal) – the narcissism can be treated differently in society. The awareness can be higher, the punishment can be established for abuse, abuse known and detected by more therapists, more narcies wounded to be pushed into treatment etc.
It’s interesting whether it will happen. And also we can contribute now using the synergy with the moment.
I think it’s me-too-I-wanna-get-in-the-spotlight-too. I was in show biz for thirty three years, in my salad years, and a simple no or indication that an advance would not be welcomed was sufficient to get my point across. In one instance I was fired from a tv show for rebuffing the advances of the star but I said boo-hoo for a week then found another show to work on. Why do these me-tooers have so little personal strength and power? Why did they not have enough self esteem and common sense to size up a potential problem and sidestep it? If Harvey Weinstein invited me up to a hotel room to talk about a part I would not go without my agent. If the meeting got cancelled once that stipulation was made known I wouldn’t lose sleep over it and would see it for what it was. Some of these cases do merit prosecution but a lot of them could have been avoided with some savvy and immediate calling out. Somehow this whole sexual abuse thing has become a badge of honor. That’s the part that bothers me. What the sexual abuse stories are being used for. It’s become fuel for media outlets trolling for content and B list talent looking for more attention.
You bring up a lot of good points Horseyak. We need to be teaching girls to not put themselves on compromising positions… to always be smart.
I bet you saw a lot of interesting things during your “salad years.”
Oh My Gosh… in* not ON compromising positions.
I chose that it was about time these allegations come out and are taken seriously but i also chose that some may be doing so for personal gains or even revenge using false claims or overexaggerated ones.
I think these allegations have to be carefully looked into before being publicized bc it could ruin a persons reputation and career if even one false claim becomes public. Usually where theres smoke theres fire and if several victims are coming out of the woodwork theres a good chance theres something to it.
Im glad victims are coming forth and their stories being taken seriously and looked into bc for years women in particular were being sexually harassed and given ultimatums to do things if they wanted to further their careers. In this day in age theres no room for that kind of behaviour.
The internet has made knowledge so much more widespread and people now know about psycholigical disorders like narcissism and we know our rights as well. Its given leverage to coming forth and taking a stand against this form of abuse. As a result people will be more mindful of inappropriate behaviours.
Where it gets sticky is when dealing with narcissists that play the victim bc they cry wolf and ruin it for the true victims of sexual harassment.
It all goes back to making sure allegations are properly and thoroughly investigated so theres no one wrongfully accused in public.
Narc Affair, I know of a young woman who falsely accused the father of their daughter… just for revenge. It’s horrible how just an accusation can ruin a young man’s life.
And I agree that the magnitude of numbers is a good indicator. That’s what I thought about Bill Cosby’s denial. It seemed plausible, but not against 50-plus women!
Tarana Burke was a guest on a political show last week and said she has R Kelly on her list to go after. I googled R Kelly and he is a bad guy.
I do think it’s about time that women (and men) that haven’t had a voice before are allowed to be heard; I think that something good does come out of this movement. Harassment in any form should never be acceptable and passed by. Sexual harassment at work as a demeaning means of control or as something that needs to be suffered for women longing for careers should never have to occur. But they do and we all know about it. So why now? And to what purpose beyond the obvious one of women speaking up suddenly?
Here in Sweden it’s been a rollercoaster as well with the #metoo movement; public heads have rolled here too; famous actors and television broadcasters that were before somehow untouchable have lost their jobs and their livelihoods, but there’s also been quite a few women too in those ranks. We do believe in equality here I guess;) Still I think there’s no need in publicly disclosing it all in the media; it turns into a formidable witch hunt in the end and I feel a bit uncomfortable with that.
I voted:
– It is being hijacked by certain individuals for their own aims
– It is a smokescreen and is part of a different agenda
Many people are using this movement for their own purposes such as to play the victim role, to get fuel or to get revenge. IMO, this movement is counterproductive for legitimate victims. Nobody knows who the true victims are anymore.
I also think this is a smokescreen and I would like to know more about the political agenda behind this movement.
When I take into consideration the recent sentencing of former U.S.A. Gymnastics Doctor, Larry Nassar, to 175 years in prison after an unprecedented 156 victims came forward to give statements at his trial, along with statistics that state 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused by their 18th birthday (1 in 7 girls and 1 in 25 boys before age 18), I find this movement absolutely necessary and so be it if for a period of time it is excessive in order to get a foothold for facilitate real change. I think “minor incidents” will get filtered out from what is true abuse of power and trust that damaged victims.
In my office setting I’ve heard a couple of men express concern that would they now have to be worried how they conducted office meetings with another professional woman. Should they never allow themselves to be alone with a woman anymore? That kind of thing. The funny thing is, the men who are voicing these concerns would never be the men who would abuse their power and take advantage to hurt someone.
It’s like here when very hurt and raw readers, who lash out when they’ve had enough, start to question if they are the Narc.
Very appropriate observations, Clarece. Those statistics say it all really.
And yes, I understand how this affects men in everyday life. I was greeted by a client a few weeks ago and he innocently hugged me. He quickly backed up and apologized with his hands held up in the air. I told him not to worry. He won’t end up on the news because of me.
But I believe that even our own vice-president has a similar policy. Isn’t there a so-called Pence-Rule to where he will not put himself in a professional position to where he’s alone with a woman?
I hear ya! Interestingly enough, with regard to the “Pence-Rule”, when I was in my early 30’s, I worked for a large, subrogation law firm. The Senior Partner’s son was also a Managing Partner. He was close to my age and a very devout, strict, Fundamentalist Christian. He was married and still is. He had a rule to never take a female customer, employee, vendor out for a lunch or dinner alone. There always had to be another person present. He would simply say you can’t allow for temptation to enter if you don’t invite it in. It’s 15 years later and he’s still happily married and very successful. I do not think he is a Narc. His father who I was the Personal Assistant for, most definitely was, which I pieced together while being on this blog. At the time though, I never had come across anyone who adhered to such a stringent policy on that. Mainly because my prior job was in a sales office with four, older men and there were many times I hung out with them one on one at times during trade shows, lunches, etc. Nothing ever happened so it was crazy to me that someone was being so hyper-vigilant.
It’s about time! But due process is essential. That’s what my country was founded upon, so everyone deserves a chance to have his/her say. We should listen with an open mind, without judgement until the crucial facts have been revealed.
Alhough every complaint needs to be taken seriously and treated with respect from the start of the first claim. I’m thankful that more light is being shed on this issue. I recently had a client make many forward and very inappropriate remarks about what he’d like to do to me. I would share his lines, but considering a chance that he might be on here, I best not reveal. (Surely he has to at least wonder if he doesn’t have some narcissistic tendencies?)
His employer would more than frown upon his behavior, and I know the HR director personally. She would be mortified if I were to let her know the ways he made me uncomfortable. But I tried to handle his remarks in the most professional manner I could summon and portray. I pretended a bit, but I didn’t have to feign embarrassment.
I’m pretty certain this client is all talk, not that he wouldn’t partake if I actually agreed to what he wanted to do. But he didn’t touch me inappropriately. I felt as though I made my position clear. But I turned the other cheek.
I simply didn’t want to bring him harm or put his livelihood in jeapordy. Though I certainly hope that anyone who feels threatened will have the courage to speak up. The #metoo movement makes telling easier, so therefore, I eagerly support its positive effects.
But we are in a mess over here HG. Two recent school shootings have left our country with even more to contemplate. No one seems to know all of the answers on how to bring about protection to the people while protecting that infamous 2nd Amendment.
I wish I knew the exact measures needed. I’m a gun owner who knows we undoubtedly need more gun control. No child, especially one with mental illness, should have access to a gun. And certainly, no child should perish at the hands of a deranged shooter. We are mourning and in shock of these horrific tragedies.
For anyone who has been the victim of abuse or violence, may your heart heal and your soul be blessed.
Controversial poll, HG! But I love it. My opinion will probably be unpopular but I intend to be honest whether right or wrong.
I advocate the individuals finding a voice. I’ve been silenced my whole life. These women are brave.
I do not think this will make a difference at all in pay scale for women vs. men. As long as individuals want fame and are willing to accept less because of that then the pay discrepancy will stay the same. There isn’t just one form of prostitution and I’m guilty of that myself. I stayed in a relationship too long once because he could work on my Ford. Sex for a good mechanic. That’s prostitution and I did that. A favor for a favor.
I do think individuals will still get away with the behavior unless someone above them changes the standards. Fish stinks from the head after all.
If Harvey Weinstein patted my ass I would be disgusted and appalled. If Brad Pitt patted my ass I would think I was hot and he just couldn’t keep his hands off of me because of my total hotness. (yes, a double standard, just being honest)
Finally, we are a country that gushes praise onto Hugh Hefner. We call him a pioneer. He provided the ultimate dream to men…women that were so submissive they could behave any way they wanted and women would do whatever the men wanted Some of the same people using their voices now praised Hugh Hefner, even posed on the cover of his pioneering magazine and he exploited women as a career. Yes, the women gave consent. However, some of the revelations by individuals today are professed to be consensual by the victim themselves. Double standards abound.
97% of the allegations I support 1000% and fully believe the victims. Full disclosure…I am guilty of eye fucking men due to wanting power. I had no power and no voice growing up with my pedophile stepfather and have behaved in unhealthy ways to overcome that. I don’t do that anymore but I have. It’s taken a lot of years to admit that I had a part in the outcomes of some of my relationships. But, sometimes I was guilty of setting it up. Does that absolve the men? Absolutely not. I’m just admitting the part I played.
And finally, finally, it gives me great internal joy when these bastards face their deeds publicly. A part of me feels like it is my stepfather on the sword even though he is dead.
Excellent point 12345 on how plenty of us would perceive a difference between a Playful Brad Pat vs a Perv Paw from Harvey.
I have a friend who stayed way too long in a relationship because her man did an excellent job keeping her lawn mowed. She’d count the nail holes in the ceiling just to keep her hedges looking like an amusement park. So don’t feel too guilty 12345 … a good mechanic is hard to find.
That’s hilarious, BKK!! Good (sort of free) help is hard to find😂
Ok. Confession time. I once when much younger stayed in a relationship for awhile because this guy I was seeing worked at the local cinema and I was in awe of the mechanics of helping out with the films.
I can see the appeal there Catherine… romantic evenings in the projection booth… the smell of popcorn in the air as he demonstrates his skills.
What was the most memorable film you saw as his young lady assistant?
Ha ha yes, there was this kind of appeal in it. I think I was more impressed with the surroundings, the machinery and the film itself than with him unfortunately. It was an independent cinema and since I only dated him for a few months in the late 80’s when I was around 17 I think it aired some older films as well. I remember seeing two films I loved and still love. Out of Africa (wonderful Meryl Streep) and telling enough Dangerous Liaisons (I love John Malkovich in that film). Love and love lost, manipulations and exotic locations; I’ll need my brain to be reprogrammed;)
Ah Catherine, you mention two good films and both are a premium actress/actor. It’s nice to still have those memories from our youth, even if the prince wasn’t as far from the frog as we’d like. But you can probably still operate a projector, so I consider that time well spent.
If you look at it objectively, Brad Pitt is cute, I would like it if he patted my ass.
Me too!
I understand K. I’m at the age where I see nothing wrong with a little love pat from time-to-time.
But I respect that 12345 influenced me to think about how much “the package” influences how well we receive the gift.
I frequent a variety of businesses and factories to see my clients. Some of the comments I have to deal with are downright vulgar. But she got me to really thinking. Would I be so offended if Brad Pitt (or Zac Efron or Sean Connery to cover all generations… throw David Attenborough in there just to be safe) was my perpetrator… I don’t think I’d so much mind.
I’m ashamed.
12345 had an excellent point about Brad Pitt, and I agree, nobody wants a perv paw from Harvey or Jabba the Hutt, however, Sean Connery is a different story.
There is no shame in it, BKK. Enjoy the fantasy!
Do not be ashamed BKK!!! You’re honest and self-aware. Be proud.
Thank you K and 12345.
At this point, fantasy is all I have left.
Well, maybe I’m not always so desperate, but there are days when I’m feeling pretty beat down. But I’ll get there. I just want to be half-way healed in case a “pat” comes my way that I’d actually enjoy receiving. (I’m over here Brad.) But why is it that the Brad to Harvey ratio comes in around 40:1?
But I’m probably being difficult… a little too picky right now. The post-narcum blues will do that to you.
And I bet you’re thinking… picky… and David Attenborough is one of her fantasy guys!? Not exactly. I’m a fan of the BBC-America Planet Earth series, so I do think he’s great… but not in an I-have-daddy-issues kind of way. But now… if I were 90… Sir David wouldn’t have a chance. I’d use the charm of a narcissist and love-bomb him with superb geriatric care. (Just kidding – the man is in excellent condition for his age. Amazing really. He’ll likely outlast me. I mean as in longevity not the other. Now I’m starting to get gross.)
Anyway, thank you both for lightening the load and giving me a good reason to have a few laughs.
It is about time the shit hit the fan but due process should be followed. Is there a hidden agenda? Probably for some people, but there are true victims out there and I hope they are heard and get some resolution/justice that will help them move forward with their lives.