Just today I decided to delete my social media account. I found it impossible to not look at his account and his new persons. I was completely obsessed and felt that I couldn’t control myself.
I wish I was strong enough to just not look. I feel so defeated.
Hi skc…only you know yourself the best and if you know theres a chance youll look and itll set you back then id say you made the right choice!
Its difficult not to look i struggled with this for a long time and each time i looked i was faced with the hurt and pain and inevitably the decision to stay or not. It got to the point i decided not to look anymore but i stayed which in itself is a bandaide remedy bc itll crop up in other ways bc it always does. I do have to say tho that its eliminated so much turmoil in my life by not looking.
Some people find by looking it puts the final nail in the coffin and in that regard it can be helpful but still very painful.
If it was causing you stress and pain then you made the right decision. Until you can control your urges to look its better to not be on facebook. We do it to ourselves in a lot of ways by always having to know. You dont have to know except that youre done with your narc. The rest is his shananigans and leave him up to it without having to be witness to it. Its garbage and clutters up the mind. Best of luck 🙂
Narc affair.
Thank you, I’m so wound up about all of this info I’m crying a lot.
Your comment meant a lot to me.
I’ve been dealing with the back and forth for close to a year. Many set backs along with everything.
Most recently the ex contacted me and I replied, I feel like such a fool.
Ultimately, I learned that he has since found a new girlfriend and was, again, lying to me. SURPRISE ! 😜
She reached out to me and I sent her all of my ex and our communication from the span of a week.
As you can imagine it backfired and I’m more hurt now than ever and just want this part of my life to be over. I want him to be over.
It’s so upsetting to me that he has a new gf and she’s staying and believes him.
I don’t want him but it’s weird, I feel like he shouldn’t have anyone.
I’m a wreck.
Being replaced is such an awful feeling, skc8130, and she reached out to you, but ended up staying with him and believing his lies…no wonder you are a wreck. I feel like he shouldn’t have anyone either. I am truly sorry for all the pain you feel. It was so sad to read your comments and the heartbreak that you feel is the worst possible feeling, such betrayal. Keep posting; let it all out.
Im so glad i no longer follow my narc online.
That being said he does post on my social media and i do wonder if hed have the nerve to triangulate me with my online friends or try messaging one. I think he knows better not to. Then again we are talking about a narcissist.
Its like a huge weight was lifted when i stopped following his online activity. Out of sight out of mind.
Problem is (i did the same as you, never looked at his facebook, but i was still on his friends list) that even a like from him, on your post, is a text message.
Your response is: your Next facebook post: will you be quicker than usual to post again? Will your next post be a fuelled one? E g showing off how happy you are? Showing off a new accomplishment/artcraft of yours? A hot new profile pic?
Will you suddenly post in a group which you are both members of?
He watches carefully how you respond to his likes. Will they make you excited?
Ns are experts to detect hidden excitement.
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Just today I decided to delete my social media account. I found it impossible to not look at his account and his new persons. I was completely obsessed and felt that I couldn’t control myself.
I wish I was strong enough to just not look. I feel so defeated.
Hi skc…only you know yourself the best and if you know theres a chance youll look and itll set you back then id say you made the right choice!
Its difficult not to look i struggled with this for a long time and each time i looked i was faced with the hurt and pain and inevitably the decision to stay or not. It got to the point i decided not to look anymore but i stayed which in itself is a bandaide remedy bc itll crop up in other ways bc it always does. I do have to say tho that its eliminated so much turmoil in my life by not looking.
Some people find by looking it puts the final nail in the coffin and in that regard it can be helpful but still very painful.
If it was causing you stress and pain then you made the right decision. Until you can control your urges to look its better to not be on facebook. We do it to ourselves in a lot of ways by always having to know. You dont have to know except that youre done with your narc. The rest is his shananigans and leave him up to it without having to be witness to it. Its garbage and clutters up the mind. Best of luck 🙂
Narc affair.
Thank you, I’m so wound up about all of this info I’m crying a lot.
Your comment meant a lot to me.
I’ve been dealing with the back and forth for close to a year. Many set backs along with everything.
Most recently the ex contacted me and I replied, I feel like such a fool.
Ultimately, I learned that he has since found a new girlfriend and was, again, lying to me. SURPRISE ! 😜
She reached out to me and I sent her all of my ex and our communication from the span of a week.
As you can imagine it backfired and I’m more hurt now than ever and just want this part of my life to be over. I want him to be over.
It’s so upsetting to me that he has a new gf and she’s staying and believes him.
I don’t want him but it’s weird, I feel like he shouldn’t have anyone.
I’m a wreck.
Being replaced is such an awful feeling, skc8130, and she reached out to you, but ended up staying with him and believing his lies…no wonder you are a wreck. I feel like he shouldn’t have anyone either. I am truly sorry for all the pain you feel. It was so sad to read your comments and the heartbreak that you feel is the worst possible feeling, such betrayal. Keep posting; let it all out.
Don’t beat yourself up. You took a step toward healing. I wish I could do what you did.
Why not just block him from your social media accounts?
Im so glad i no longer follow my narc online.
That being said he does post on my social media and i do wonder if hed have the nerve to triangulate me with my online friends or try messaging one. I think he knows better not to. Then again we are talking about a narcissist.
Its like a huge weight was lifted when i stopped following his online activity. Out of sight out of mind.
Problem is (i did the same as you, never looked at his facebook, but i was still on his friends list) that even a like from him, on your post, is a text message.
Your response is: your Next facebook post: will you be quicker than usual to post again? Will your next post be a fuelled one? E g showing off how happy you are? Showing off a new accomplishment/artcraft of yours? A hot new profile pic?
Will you suddenly post in a group which you are both members of?
He watches carefully how you respond to his likes. Will they make you excited?
Ns are experts to detect hidden excitement.
Or if u no longer post about anything at all on social media, u dont want us to see OR u have a separate account for ur other women to be part of….