Understanding the Fuel Matrix
*** EXPANDED AND UPDATED INFORMATION ***
All narcissists have fuel matrices and you need to understand where you fit into that fuel matrix and how that particular matrix functions as part of protecting yourself.
This Logic Bulletin takes you through :-
1. The Fuel Matrices of all sub schools of narcissist. This includes updated and expanded information about the Upper Lesser Type A and Upper Lesser Type B Narcissists, plus the Middle Mid Range Type A and Type B Narcissists.
2. What the Fuel Matrices look like, their size, the nature of the matrices and who sits in them.
3. How the relevant narcissist of each sub school relies on the individuals in the Fuel Matrix
4. What the Virtual Fuel Matrix is and how it operates.
5. How a Long Distance Appliance fits into it the narcissist fuel matrix and how that functions.
6. Detailed descriptions of each sub-school of narcissist, their behaviours and actions to increase your understanding of the different types of narcissist. This is a comprehensive expansion which will help you understand a lot more about the way different sub schools of narcissist operate.
A fascinating and educational exploration of the fuel matrix and the interaction between you and the narcissist, this is essential to know how the narcissist behaves so you can ensure your No Contact Regime is as effective as possible. It is also advanced reading for those who feel they are well-acquainted with the narcissistic dynamic from their existing reading and consultations.
This extensive Logic Bulletin is available at just US $ 10 and is a bulletin you will read several times and refer to often and can be obtained here
30 thoughts on “Understanding the Fuel Matrix”
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Hi HG,
1. What are the ways that the lower midrange narcissist reacts during rage while drunk and sober? Hitting, yelling, kicking, etc.?
2. Can or do they self harm themselves during rage if they are in a position where they can’t express it?
3. Are they prone to being sexually aggressive?
1. Usually pushing, shoving, grabbing, shouting – possibly it could lead to punching and kicking.
2. Unlikely.
3. It is a moderate risk.
Thank you! And what about the MMRN? I don’t think the UMRN is on the aggressive side … more on the silent/calm side. So, I don’t need to ask about that 🙂
1. What are the ways that the MMRN midrange reacts during rage while drunk and sober? Hitting, yelling, kicking, etc.?
2. Can or do they self harm themselves during rage if they are in a position where they can’t express it?
3. Are they prone to being sexually aggressive?
1. The MMRN is far more self-pitying, so physical violence of any kind would be most unusual.
2. You may get a fake suicide threat.
3. Highly unlikely.
HG, question for you. Would a Mid-Range – really smack in the middle mid-range – cerebral narc sustain a narc injury if he were told that he was not a Greater? In other words, if he were told that he is an imperfect or weak narcissist? Thanks!
More likely such a comment would be issued as Challenge Fuel because of the emotion attached with the comment.
OK, thanks. Unfortunately, I never got a chance to make the comment but just as well because as you say, it would likely have been more fuel.
HG,
I wonder if we can say something about MRN fuel matrix or his internal moods based on his social media activity.
For example Twitter. There are days when:
– MRN is silent. No posts, no likes.
– MRN is neutral. A few posts daily, business like, formal.
– MRN acts really frustrated and angry. Many posts, but mainly comments to others tweets, that are mean, trying to cause a fight, pointing out that someone is wrong, criticising others. It seems like MRN is frustrated and needs to put other people down.
– charming, paying compliments, liking women’s tweets, showing his best manners, showing his sense of humour.
– passive agressive tweets, tweets about being disappointed, self pity.
I can see that “normal” people (and probably the Greaters) are more stable in their social media activity, narcs are more instinctive, I think we can sense when they are fuel hungry and so on. But I don’t know what does it mean when for example they act frustrated and angry. Does it mean their fuel needs in real life aren’t met? Or maybe they have plenty of positive fuel in real life and fight online with others because they need negative fuel for contrast?
Is there such a thing as a middle mid-ranger (or maybe low middle?) who has such low energy levels that he finds himself unsuccessful at obtaining enough fuel, leading to even lower energy levels, and therefore depressed/anxious? Has anyone else experienced a depressive/anxious narc? I can’t be the only one.
Yes, this can happen.
This describes my MMRN perfectly. A very anxious individual he was. I know bc when I was around him I felt very anxious. I had my Narcmom send me Xanax from Ny and it Didnt help…. I had to go no contact and after weeks away it got better. I was literally spinning with anxiety. He was trying to probe to find out if I had bonded to him. He asked “do you have feelings for me?” I said “yes….mostly anxiety.”
Luna, that’s what’s great about HG’s work. It’s not Psychology. He doesn’t use the terms or psychological diagnosis. I personally think most Midrangers are considered “Covert Narcissist”. The MMRN I mentioned above, is only treated for OCD. Does he really have OCD? I believe so, to an extent. But the OCD diagnosis is also exploited for a lot of his Narcissistic manipulations. The UMRN I mentioned above is Charismatic/Overt. If a Psychologist truly evaluated him, he would be diagnosed with some type of Machiavellian/Dark Triad/APD issue. He knows this. If his mask slips while you are still relevant in his life, he will claim he has PTSD. However, now that I have been pushed to the side, and smeared all the way to China Town as the Abuser, he will freely mention that he is a Narcissist/Sociopath to me, because no one will believe me if I tell on him. The true test on whether or not someone is a Narcissist, despite their clinical diagnosis, is whether or not the person is able to feel real empathy for other people.
HG, could there be a LMR or a MMR who is an Elite, but due to low fuel supply, lower intellect, and other factors has less interest or ability to show the more somatic/cerebral traits ? He can’t be a Victim as he I’m quite sure isn’t a lesser, defin isn’t a victim in bed (yet isn’t a somatic). Isn’t a cerebral that’s a definite.
Luna it sounds like all those people have B-R-A-T disorder
Aye, that is a rampant disorder Olivia! 🙂
This is really interesting. The kinds of people described as Mid-Rangers would not be conventionally seen as narcissists, even if people knew the classic diagnostic criteria. They just don’t seem flamboyantly grandiose enough to fit the stereotype. Actually, these people seem like the kind that USED to be diagnosed with Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder…before the disorder was taken out of the DSM. (I personally don’t approve. There are plenty of people who fit the bill out there, my own mother included.)
And aside from Upper Lessers, most of the people you describe as Lesser Narcissists are much more likely to be diagnosed with, say, Intermittent Explosive Disorder (uncontrollable rage issues) than as narcissists.
But are these really completely unrelated disorders or, as you say, different manifestations of the same underlying condition? Hmm…
Thank you for making me think, HG!
Hello Luna,
It is true that unless people fit the stereotype of the glamorous, flamboyant narcissist, they will not be diagnosed with a NPD. Psychologists say that NPD is comorbid with other mental disorders.
IMO, people who use passive-aggression to harm others intentionally, such as ruining their reputation or relationships, have another serious disorder.
I notice there is a lack of empathy and remorse. When confronted with their behaviour, PA individuals pretend they do not understand what you are talking about, gaslight you, deny or deflect. Their aggression is premeditated. They learn how to do it without getting caught. It may seem they do this unconsciously but this is not what I have seen. As adults, they can make decisions very quickly because they have been practising it since childhood. They learn PA behaviour from their own parents or caregivers at home and also from other people later in life.
PA people also act pre-emptively if they perceive you are a threat or a competitor. They feel entitled to do that and they do not care about the consequences. They attack their perceived enemy without doing anything to solve their conflict.
Since physical aggression is culturally not accepted, female MRN/GN choose PA over violence. PA-women can hide behind their Mother Theresa façade much better than men. I have seen it in my own family too. PA women were able to deceive high-functioning narcissists, who were intellectually and cognitively better developed than them.
Unfortunately, PA is still a socially accepted form of aggression in western society.
Yes! The profession has a lot to do with the school of Narcissist. When I was in my early 20’s, I started dating my Ex MMRN. I was an Exotic Dancer at that time. I was a Hood Rat. Dating him, was like becoming a Born Again Christian. The situation was very much like the movie, Pretty Woman. I had to learn how to fit in with his family and community quickly. We stayed together a very long time, had a son. He currently MANAGES-not owns, a very Sophisticated Steak Restaurant in his upper class neighborhood. Though he is such a whiney momma’s boy, he thinks he is God for being able to boss his staff around every day. He doesn’t realize, it’s a dead end job, and he should be paid more for the hours he works.
My Ex UMRN, who I just had a daughter with, has inherited enough money to be lazy when he wants. He has little entrepreneur projects around town that he works on. He could easily turn a project into a successful business if he wanted to. He often talks about what business he should start next. But his playground, is Corporate America. He loves working for Fortune 100 companies, and playing his Narcissist games there. It’s all about recognition, being sexy, stabbing colleagues in the back, suing HR, etc. He loves all of that.He is way more aggressive than my EX MMRN, but he is still a bitch, so he is a Mid Ranger still.
I wonder what the breakdown is of narc categories. Which type is most common? For example are there more mid rangers out there than the other types? From what I read on here it seems that most are whiny cowardly paranoid mid rangers!
The majority of narcissists are Lesser and Mid Range.
Hi HG,
Very interesting article, just like Part One.
So, due to the cognitive function and level of control, there is a correlation between the school the narcissist belongs to and his/her career (or lack thereof), correct? Therefore, an Upper Mid-Ranger could become a senior manager whereas a Lesser would never make it that far?
Also, the higher the school, the bigger the fuel matrix? Because a Chevrolet would always need/use up more fuel than, say, a Peugeot?
There is a correlation between school and profession/occupation it is a strong indicator but has to be viewed in aggregate with other matters.
Your last sentence is essentially correct.
Hello HG
What can a number of facebook followers/friends (or twitter or any other sm) tell about what type of narc he is? Do UMRN have more than MMRN og LMRN? It is a strange question but i am curious if this could be used to identify them. One of my boss whom i suspect to have narc traits has approx 3000 friends on fb and she post everyday. Very polite and charming but has all the qualities of UMRN.
The number of followers and friends is an indicator but is not determinative in itself.
“The MMRN has a little charm but his weapon is politeness and behaving in a respectable manner. He or she is well-thought of.”
“He ingratiates himself with people through his intelligence and limited charm and is prone to repeated pity plays. He is the archetypal architect of the silent treatment in all its forms and heated fury is rare with him.”
“He will use his façade of being a ‘regular’ guy to keep the IPPS in place.”
“The MMRN keeps his social circle small with perhaps 4-6 inner circle friends. He will not see these friends with significant regularity but instead does so more through the auspices of organised events, such as dinner parties amongst the groups or attendance at functions.”
“Somewhat ponderous in nature and also very much aware of his façade the MMRN is careful to keep IPPS and IPSSs very separate.”
“The MMRN will engage with tertiary sources as a consequence of job, social life and general community involvement.”
You have just described Piano Recital Middle Mid Range perfectly. Good grief, HG, your accuracy continues to shock me beyond belief, especially the part about him being so polite and the community involvement (angel with a dirty face).
You shouldn’t be surprised by now GZB!
Why did the MMRN push for sex while in the stages of electronic hoovers? I gave in. Is that like the final hoover….the in person hoover that seals the deal? Does this reinstate the FR?
Why the great push for sex from him if he really does not care about sex?
Sex allows binding, control and provides fuel – see also the book Sex and the Narcissist.
Having sex with you does not mean the Formal Relationship (you haven’t said what the FR was in any event) is re-instated. We can have a direct physical hoover where sex takes place, draw fuel, know we have succeeded with the hoover, retained control and interest and then leave you be until a further HT and the HEC is met.
Goldie.
You are not alone. My MMRN was the same way. Sexting, media, in person (all AFTER saying “we are never having sex again”)…round and round in a never ending loop of contradiction.
My stbx fits UMRN to a T. After we separated, there seemed to be no replacement of me… until I realized he replaced me with his favorite triangulation toy – his 20 year old daughter. That only lasted until he relocated for his job and she returned to college. Now he is desperately online (ladies in PA beware) looking for his next victim!