The Rules of Ex Club – No. 2
11 thoughts on “The Rules of Ex Club – No. 2”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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HG do all exes become white or just the most recent ex??
It depends on what is happening within the fuel matrix.
Can you elaborate on this a little?
Or has this already been answered in a book or blog post here?
Briefly. You are the IPPS and you are in devaluation because you are regarded as a traitor for your stale fuel. You are now painted black. An ex pops into the sixth sphere which is a Hoover Trigger – you are painted black, our compartmentalisation and split thinking causes us to regard them as painted white because you are painted black. It serves our purposes to view them as white to contrast with your behaviour and thus we recall this ex’s excellent fuel, we have their number and perceive no problems in contacting the ex. The Hoover execution Criteria is met. We hoover and she responds favourably. She remains painted white. We also hoover a different ex who is now also painted white. You try to appease us but you remain painted black so your attempts fall on stony ground because the exes who we are hoovering are delivering and responding and they are painted white. The ex then wounds us and becomes black. This might cause us to paint you white by contrast but since there is a second ex who is painted white, we focus on her. You remain painted black. The first ex is painted black. The second ex is painted white. Thus the influence of the second ex as white, meant that you as IPPS did not return to white when the first ex turned black. The impact of something else in the fuel matrix impacted on how we regard you.
I can tell you that not only recent. When my narc discarded me and I was painted black, he started hoovering his previous ex (when we were together he told me he hates her and wants nothing to do with her), but she went no contact almost 2 years ago so his hoovering is limited to posting “their” love songs on his social media or some love declarations with clues that he is referring to her. But after a few months he started to see me as white I guess because he sometimes writes to me offering me a friendship lol. Of course I ignored it but now, one week he tries to hoover his previous ex, next week he tries to hoover me. So I think if they desperately need some fuel, they will paint white just anybody.
Oh, I forgot to add that he is dating someone new, so he is hoovering 2 exes at the same time – me as a recent and the previous one. The more the merrier!
I wonder if he tried to tell his victims that I was some kind of angel when he devalued or corrected them, even though i was still in the picture. Of course, I know he told one I was his sister, but I said, no I’m his wife.( I met her when I brought his lunch, that he forgot. This was the first time he turned his cheek to me, when I tried to kiss him goodby as I was leaving) She ended up having his child a couple years later.
Wonder how he explained that to her so well, she stuck around for 30 years.
That is interesting. Mine, while devaluing me but before the big discard, tried to pass off his wife as his sister to me. But I had done research, found his wedding record online, and combined with records that showed her co-owning his residence and living there, still, I sent all of this to him, which for him was a big shock, an apparent total turn of personalities for me, as once I was on to him I kept playing the game until I had the proof. So not only had I unmasked him but I took off my own mask – I was smarter than he assumed. That was when he really blew at me. The difference between us, however, was his attack literally took my breath away, it was so cold and malicious, and all done in this faux-friendly, “concerned” tone, and I had had to gather all my strength to confront his lies and was really knocked down by all of this. But I could tell by his social media activity that he had simply and happily immediately moved on. I wonder if I am so dangerous that I will always be black.
The narcissists shameless act of judging you against another. Remember You are a unique individual and nobody is like you. In all the people that have ever lived there’s only been one you. To have someone compare you to another is really an attempt at elevating themselves to the superior role of judge. Nobody is perfect and to use an ex to make you feel worthless is really a reflection of the narcissists need to be superior. They were taught that they were inadequate. They believe this deep down, they must never let anyone see this though so they maintain their fake self by cutting you down and lyingly saying that the ex was superior to you. Feel sorry for them. They were taught that it’s okay to judge and belittle others. How? Because someone judged and belittled them. Someone made comparisons with them and others and made them feel exactly how they are making you feel now. No good and worthless.
Well for us the disengaged it’s about damn time! Is this true among ipss when one is discarded for another ? Do they sufffer deval and the disengaged ipss is painted white again ?
Not necessarily.