“for example, Mid Rangers think they are being decent from their perspective”
A thousand times yes. It’s so mindboggling when we’re in the grip of emotional thinking, because they can explain their reasoning within their “supermensch” worldview (because of course they are different, better, and more ethical than Mother Theresa and if we’re smart – of course we are, that’s why they chose US out of all the rest – we’ll recognise that and grow in ways unfathomable) and the collision of the two worldviews, ours and theirs, is disorienting. I think that is where I experienced the most gaslighting (“no, things are not like you think they are, you see it the wrong way”).
My man is displaying serious hypocritical double standards .
He seems to think its perfectly okay for him to mess around with other females , but if I post a picture of a show biz talenh on Facebook , he comes completely all undone, accusing me of ” cheating ” on him , etc .
Wtf ??!! What’s THAT all about ??
HG TUTOR ;
Could you / would you shed some light on that irritating thing your kind tends to do so often ??!!
It is not so much that we do not think the rules of common decency apply to us (for example, Mid Rangers think they are being decent from their perspective) but rather our perspective causes us to have a way of thinking and behaving which is logical to us, but is toxic to you and viewed from your perspective seems illogical.
Questions for MR Tudor,
1) my nex has repeated the ” rebound -like” stabs at relationships at least 3 x’s since me in a year and half. Do u guys really not see u repeat the same shit over and over?
2) How could it be, a npd stays married 25 years, then gets caught cheating. Ex wife dumps him. ( took years for her do). I mean he had to learn some basics.. after that long right? But from the start .. after ex wife, and ex- cheater GF dumped him, he has been on the ” hunt” steady for years. It doesn’t make sense.. Here is a dude that was marred for quarter a century, but can’t maintain a six month relationship without chaos enuff to keep from getting dumped. Enlighten me please! Thanks HG.
1. It depends on the school of narcissist. Most do not owing to compartmentalisation.
2. There are many different variables which cause the scenarios you refer to. Just because a narcissist maintained a 25 year relationship does not mean the next one will be long also.
Maybe it depends on the girls he meets. Maybe his wife was co-dependent or had other issues that had bonded her to him strongly or/and she had some residual benefits, so it was “working” for both sides. And now he possible meets girls who doesn’t cooperate easily? It would be my guess.
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“for example, Mid Rangers think they are being decent from their perspective”
A thousand times yes. It’s so mindboggling when we’re in the grip of emotional thinking, because they can explain their reasoning within their “supermensch” worldview (because of course they are different, better, and more ethical than Mother Theresa and if we’re smart – of course we are, that’s why they chose US out of all the rest – we’ll recognise that and grow in ways unfathomable) and the collision of the two worldviews, ours and theirs, is disorienting. I think that is where I experienced the most gaslighting (“no, things are not like you think they are, you see it the wrong way”).
Correct.
My man is displaying serious hypocritical double standards .
He seems to think its perfectly okay for him to mess around with other females , but if I post a picture of a show biz talenh on Facebook , he comes completely all undone, accusing me of ” cheating ” on him , etc .
Wtf ??!! What’s THAT all about ??
HG TUTOR ;
Could you / would you shed some light on that irritating thing your kind tends to do so often ??!!
Im looking for some answers please ? 🌹
Thank you. …….
See Toxic Logic.
HG TUTOR ;
Thank you . 🙏🌹💕
I listened to ” Toxic Logic ” .
What I took away from it , was that the narcissist doesn’t think the rules of base , common decency do not apply to him .
But as the significant other / empath , I must adhere to those rules , as they apply to me when dealing with him .
Is that about right ? In I roughly correct , in assuming this , or coming to this conclusion ?
You are so incredibly helpful .
Ever so grateful for you .
Much appreciated 💕💜💕🌹
Thank you for the compliment.
It is not so much that we do not think the rules of common decency apply to us (for example, Mid Rangers think they are being decent from their perspective) but rather our perspective causes us to have a way of thinking and behaving which is logical to us, but is toxic to you and viewed from your perspective seems illogical.
Questions for MR Tudor,
1) my nex has repeated the ” rebound -like” stabs at relationships at least 3 x’s since me in a year and half. Do u guys really not see u repeat the same shit over and over?
2) How could it be, a npd stays married 25 years, then gets caught cheating. Ex wife dumps him. ( took years for her do). I mean he had to learn some basics.. after that long right? But from the start .. after ex wife, and ex- cheater GF dumped him, he has been on the ” hunt” steady for years. It doesn’t make sense.. Here is a dude that was marred for quarter a century, but can’t maintain a six month relationship without chaos enuff to keep from getting dumped. Enlighten me please! Thanks HG.
1. It depends on the school of narcissist. Most do not owing to compartmentalisation.
2. There are many different variables which cause the scenarios you refer to. Just because a narcissist maintained a 25 year relationship does not mean the next one will be long also.
Maybe it depends on the girls he meets. Maybe his wife was co-dependent or had other issues that had bonded her to him strongly or/and she had some residual benefits, so it was “working” for both sides. And now he possible meets girls who doesn’t cooperate easily? It would be my guess.
I’ve been hoovered twice..how has new woman..introduced her to his little boy to..does this mean he is serious about her?