Why the Narcissist Downgrades
“HG, I am decent-looking, have a good job, I am intelligent, caring, fun and interesting, I dress well, I am a dab hand at cooking and nobody has ever complained about my bedroom skills and he has left me for THAT! Why?!”
It is a refrain I have often heard.
Why, when the narcissist could have you, did he go and choose somebody who is clearly inferior to you in so many different ways?
What is so good about her or him?
Where have you gone wrong?
Why on earth has he chosen her over you?
Why has the narcissist downgraded?
This gives you the answer and it will not only help you understand, it will make you feel a whole lot better too.
22 thoughts on “Why the Narcissist Downgrades”
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This absolutely cracks me up. You taught me the term “panic pick” last week when we spoke. There is not a person I know that doesn’t lose it when they see my stbx husband’s photos with this wretched creature he is tangled up with. I unfortunately have to know who my children are subjected to… Good Gawd. I hope my children don’t begin to fancy white trash proclivities before he finds a better source of supply. You say though that this is temporary; however, he is planning a trip to the beach for next June with this woman and the children according to their reports back to me. Naturally this beach is a destination popular among trailer trash dwellers–as evidenced by others. If you google “Myrtle Beach white trash” there is material available to support my position. I’ve always known better than to go there and was forced to last summer for a children’s dance competition. Of course I was correct. It was miserable and the beach is a litter box of sun damaged rednecks.
‘You know that you are attractive. Many people have commented on this.You may not be a Nobel Prize winner but you know you are bright, hard-working, articulate and have a keen interest in the world around you. You are well-liked by people. They praise your compassion, your wicked sense of humour, your wild side after a few tequilas or your competitive yet fun nature when it comes to sports and games. You are independent, aware and resourceful. You have an excellent job, you probably had money (until we appeared and leeched it away), a decent home and those trappings which denote the fact you are in regular employment and have good taste. ‘
Yes, I am all those things.
It was a mistake to do this, as I’ve written before,but still- I told mine when he wanted us to get back together that the new interest (paraded around when I was in the vicinity) was just too ugly. He acted like he didn’t know who I meant, then said with great delight “You’re jealous!” I said, “No, I’m offended.” “That’s even worse.” “That’s right.”
MH— I told my ex the same sort of thing– his newest is already gone- but when I found out who it was, I said “Are you kidding me? You want to parade something like that around? That makes me sick– don’t you realize she has been married 5 times and people are laughing at you?” He said “Five times?” I said “Yes, and I do not want to be seen with you after you have been seen out with that sort of ‘thing’ ”
I said it all with a smile on my face—
Empress1,
Good for you!!!!! In case you needed another reason not to get back with him, there you go.
You realize that “thing” is another human being, right?
Personally-when my ex sent lieutenants out to give me the message that he’s getting married-albeit after a few short months of dating-I did not wish to know who the person is. I’ve had plenty of people tell me and ask i”don’t you want to know?”. I don’t. wish to know and I don’t care. I am at a great place in my life. I am glad that finally he will stay away from me. I do, however, wish her luck.
I’m hideous and unemployed. Were I given the opportunity to choose between you and your Titan girlfriend, I would opt for my own hand.
Based on your own admission, it means you would be denied such an opportunity to choose and thus your hand would in fact be your only option. Give my regards to Aldous.
I was referring to a hypothetical situation where the heavens cracked open and manna fell from the sky. It’s my only option, yet it’s still the best option. Aldous says “Hey.” We’re on the sofa eating Cheetos.
Oh yes this happened with both Narcs. I couldn’t careless now. Once they have had someone they know is better than them they have to take a step back with someone who they feel very much superior to andvthey can be expend less energy on. Let him go with the white trash but just wait till he finds out what everyone thinks about them. Narcs don’t like to be laughed at and I’m lmao along with others so it’s all good. Lol
What Lori said !!!
Well , HG TUDOR. ………
What kind of mind operates THAT way ?!
Why would you do that ?
Is your kind incapable of love , & wanting to be loved ? 💕🌹
Our mind does, in order to survive.
Yes. No.
You must be new here…. lol
Wow …….
That’s infuriating & brutal !
How could you dump someone that you claim to love , just like it was nothing at all ?
As if they never meant anything to you ?
What kind of soulless monster does that !?
😠😠😠😠👎👎👎😠😠😠😠😠😠😠
I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing any of his past present or future girlfriends though I’d love to
Why would you love to and what would be pleasurable about it?
Number one for the amusement and curiousity number two im in a new relationship and I’d like him to be also I’m finally at the stage where I want us both to move on I need that closure and finality
Thank you for explaining.
I personally wouldn’t want to see the Nex with a new IP source, as it would only remind me of having been in her place (which would likely fill me with disgust, so why do it to myself?).
Also, him acquiring a new source does not mean closure in the sense that he has moved on; at the most it gives you a respite as he focuses on someone else. Don’t forget – in their minds, it’s never really over. You really need to let go of the idea that this is anything like a normal break-up. It’s not. There is no closure with narcs, just NC and/or continuous resistance if NC is impossible.
Ugotit: Hope Im not traipsing in too deep but for real – Honestly, you’re lucky you’ve been able to dodge that bullet thus far. For starters, regardless of whether he was with a hottie or a total train wreck. both sightings would not likely yield the sweet satisfaction you might wish for after all his crap. They’d most likely both get under your skin for some time in entirely different ways. Second, cut the dead limb that is he. All he did was keep you in a state of perpetual emotional terrorism. This would just reopen old wounds, leaving them to sting for God knows how long. Best pretend he’s dead to you emotionally and spiritually – you deserve real joy, not the cheap disappointment of seeing him pretend to fawn all over some other girl who is as human to him as a ratchet swap meet lampshade. I hope that makes sense?
Just? you’re better off forgetting his existence if he’s out of your sight . I’m struggling with my own residual issues/revenge fantadies myself, but ultimately we were nothing but trusting, honest, and ourselves. He’s the defective. And i bet the prick would get off on you seeing him with another broad, even if she looked like the hobbit before heavy duty laser hair removal, ha.
Stay strong, luv 🙂 You’re better off w/out him and his pathetic games and drama.
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Just what I was going to say Charlotte Sometimes. Painful either way.
Best try not to think about the Narc at all, but this isn’t easy speaking from personal experience.
Just keep in mind that they are fake, just pretending with the new one who is clueless to just being used.