Obsessed
I want you to be happy. I am so in love with you. You are everything that I have ever wanted, you are like a dream come true, my soul mate, my other half, you complete me. You have no idea just what you do to me. I just want to love you like nobody else ever has. Yes, I am obsessed with you. I want to merge with you and become one. I am not just obsessed with you but with everything about you and most of all your happiness. I just want to ensure that someone as brilliant as you, someone as wonderful as you, someone as marvellous as you is made to feel special. You deserve that. I know. I know something, or rather somebody has hurt you before. I know you do not want to talk about it. That is absolutely fine. You do not have to talk about it with me. You see, I can tell. I have a sixth sense if you will for knowing about these things. It is just the way I am and let me tell you that you should feel no shame for that. You should not be upset that you have been hurt because I am going to put an end to the hurt. I am always going to look after you, help you, hold you and comfort you. No matter what the world throws at us, throws at you, I will be by your side. I want to keep all the malice and bad things in this world away from someone as special and as perfect as you. I regard that as my calling. I was sent to look after you. It is true. It was not just chance that brought you and me together, not at all. I was sent to make you happy. It has been decided that what happened in the past will stay in the past and instead I have come to bring you happiness, great glorious golden happiness. I will not rest in my desire to see you happy at all times. When you are happy, I am happy. My happiness is conditional on yours, that is just the way I am. No matter what happens, I will not give up on you. I will ensure that everything is great again. I give you my word. I am totally committed to achieving your happiness. I will do anything in the world to see you smile, to see your eyes light up and to know that you feel wonderful. You are an amazing person and you, more than anyone else in the world, deserves happiness. I know how to provide it you and if that means that you think that I am obsessed with achieving it then so be it, but it is a noble aim. It is a good and laudable endeavour to ensure your happiness. I will aim each and every day, without hesitation, without reluctance and without restraint to deliver this for you. I want to do this for you, I want to do this for us. You are the most important person in the world to me. You have made me feel so special being with me and I always want that feeling to continue, now and forever. I want to give that to you in return for all the scintillating things you give to me. I am truly blessed to have coupled with you and no matter how difficult things might become, no matter how hard others may make it I will not shirk from achieving your complete and utter happiness. I was born to do this. I am utterly beholden to you and your happiness. This is my obsession. You are my obsession. I am obsessed with you.
A period of time passes.
You want me to be happy. You are so in love with me. I am everything that you have ever wanted, I am like a dream come true, your soul mate, your other half, I complete you. I have every idea just what I do to you. You just want to love me like nobody else ever has. Yes, you are obsessed with me. You want to merge with me and become one. You are not just obsessed with me but with everything about me and most of all my happiness. You just want to ensure that someone as brilliant as me, someone as wonderful as me, someone as marvellous as me, is made to feel special. I deserve that. You know. You know something, or rather somebody has hurt me before. You know I do not want to talk about it. That is absolutely fine. I will not have to talk about it with you. You can tell. You have a sixth sense if you will for knowing about these things. It is just the way you are and you tell me that I should feel no shame for that. I should not be upset that I have been hurt because you are going to put an end to the hurt. You will always look after me, help me, hold me and comfort me. No matter what the world throws at us, throws at me, you will be by my side. You want to keep all the malice and bad things in this world away from someone as special and as perfect as me. You regard that as your calling. You were sent to look after me. It is true. It was not just chance that brought you and me together, not at all. You were sent to make me happy. It has been decided that what happened in the past will stay in the past and instead you have come to bring me happiness, great glorious golden happiness. You will not rest in your desire to see me happy at all times. When I am happy, you are happy. Your happiness is conditional on mine, that is just the way you are. No matter what happens, you will not give up on me. You will ensure that everything is great again. You give me your word. You are totally committed to achieving my happiness. You will do anything in the world to see me smile, to see my eyes light up and to know that I feel wonderful. I am an amazing person and I, more than anyone else in the world, deserves happiness. You know how to provide it me and if that means that I think that you are obsessed with achieving it then so be it, but it is a noble aim. It is a good and laudable endeavour to ensure my happiness. You will aim each and every day, without hesitation, without reluctance and without restraint to deliver this for me. You want to do this for me, you want to do this for us. I am the most important person in the world to you. I have made you feel so special being with you and you always want that feeling to continue, now and forever. You want to give that to me in return for all the scintillating things I give to me. You are truly blessed to have coupled with me and no matter how difficult things might become, no matter how hard others may make it you will not shirk from achieving my complete and utter happiness. You were born to do this. You are utterly beholden to me and my happiness. This is your obsession. I am your obsession. You are obsessed with me.
Think I am the only one who engages in mirroring?
Think again.
25 thoughts on “Obsessed”
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D***, I’m regressing. I remembered he told me about this group he joined . . . this info came out during a malign hoover. I just googled it. Yes, BIG NO NO. And group is comprised of mostly women. The group is called A Course in Love–love and the lovely ladies who long for it . . . Incrable romantics. The group is based off a Course in Miracles. A Course in Love . . . those women are sitting ducks. I admit, I’m a tad jealous cuz the Love bombing is so mesmerizing, captivating . . . their senses and desires will be heightened. They will feel alive again. No longer alone. A handsome, charming, boyish, refined, wealthy young man joins the group. Extremely well-educated, had asprations of becoming a priest (big liar–he masterbated all day and masterbated all night watching porn).
How about we get well and we won’t need this site anymore? Cuz were stronger . . . we put it all behind our beautiful asses, but pop in time to time to remember where we were once . . . and to talk to HG. Thank him.
HG,
1. Are all Greaters sociopaths?
2. Can Lessers and Mid-Rangers be sociopaths?
3. Do spciopaths know what they are?
Thank you.
I have always said narcs and codependents are very very much the same. It’s like being in a hall of mirrors. They see themselves in each other. They have the same wounds. They both seek to control. The only difference is the empathy. One has too much the other mine at all but all other aspects are the same.
Codependents are the only ones that can last any length of time with a narc. I know you break out codependents and empaths Supernova etc but all have a degree of codependency or the narc wouldn’t target us and we wouldn’t stay that’s just how it is. That’s why the call the Narc and the codependent “Thw Dance” they are inverted versions of each other. What do you think they say about love ? The one who cares the least wins. So there you have it the Narcissist will win this game every time simply because he doesn’t care. Literally.
Lori
Yeah I dont think im a codependent simply because once devaluation gets into full swing….I get the hell out! doesnt mean i dont miss him or still think about him and wish it had worked and really wanted it to. But I just have noooo tolerance for abuse what so ever….I think its because I have already experienced so much in childhood…Im a runner…i leave and im super good at it. That being said I leave but my heart stays i just do not endure the abuse but i love from a lonely distance….unrequitted love….but it is slowing dying out thank god!!!!!!!
If you were with this person any length of time you have codependency issues. It’s not an insult or aimed at harming. This was something I rejected initially about myself as in my life I come across quite confident and as have a decent level of self esteem yet it turned out to be true.
No one who doesn’t have codepency traits and issues can stay with these people. People who don’t have codepency issues know something is off and at the first sign of abuse they are gone and don’t look back besides a narc chooses carefully he doesn’t choose people that don’t have these issues. He is not attracted to people who don’t have codependcy issues. They don’t choose them ever. You may not be aware you have those tendencies but he saw them I guarantee you or he wouldn’t have chosen you
There are as many degrees of codepency as their if narcissism
Lori
Yeah….I think I lean more towards borderline personality then co dependent. I reall honestly cannot and do not tolerate abuse and as soon as it starts I have to separate myself. But I will say that I do look back a lot so maybe I am to a degree but yeah it’s hard to really know for sure. It’s just I have a friend who has stayed in any emotionally abusive relationship for like 5 years and she can’t bring herself to leave. That’s how I’m different I can leave even if it’s killing me to I can still leave. So I know a lot of co dependent people have trouble leaving so yeah that’s what I meant in terms of leaving. I just won’t stay in abuse I just can’t.
Morning sun
Yeah well when you put it that way maybe I am…because I do allow temporary boundaries violations but I do start warning them that I am not going to tolerate it but yeah that’s usually after boundaries have been violated so yes I’m that way I suppose I am co dependent damit! As if I didn’t already have enough personality disorder
Going here….borderline….condepemdent and no I have not been diagnosed by anyone nor have seen anyone I am just a researcher and very self aware. So I try to be anyways.
Morning sun
And as far as emotionally starved….yeah that fits me too….I’m an emotional Ethiopian….sad to admit and embarrassing but yeah starved for connection definitely….and yes anxious for connection and love I won’t lie. Crap! I’m screwed lol
Very good point, Lori, and completely accurate. A person with healthy boundaries would end the relationship at the first hint of violation of those boundaries, probably already in the love-bombing phase (that only works on people who are emotionally starved and anxious for connection/’love’).
Hi lori…great post and i totally agree! Both lack self love.
Thank you. Correct. The Narc and the Codependent are like peanut butter and jelly
Hi lori… i agree narcs sniff out codependants. If you keep going back then you are codependant even if you consider yourself a super empath. I think the ones that escape and leave the narc cycle the very first time it happens werent codependants. In that case i think the narc chose incorrectly and maybe overlooked the fact that person did have boundaries that theyd not back down on.
I see people say they arent codependant yet theyve gone back to the abuse over and over. When you bring up codependancy they feel youre victim blaming or shaming which isnt the case at all. If youre not leaving as soon as you know and you keep coming back then youre codependant imo.
Hello Lori,
I tend to agree with you. I never felt that I was a codependent but after being on this site, finally coming to terms. Usually very independent and confident in other areas of my life but in relationships, I seem tolerant of emotional abuse and stick around far longer than I should. Drives my friends and family mad. So grateful for this site and HG, for this realization.
Damn Skippy, Lori!
morning sun, and narc affair – very astute observations. A person with healthy boundaries (like some of my friends) would not tolerate the behavior that my narc dealt out and told me so…but I continued to make excuses. Self esteem (or self love) was not handed out when I was growing up. Each consult with HG and my friends who rally, and will not listen to me talk about the narc, are helping me put boundaries in place and making me realize my worth. It is going to be a long journey but is worth it for my sanity.
Hi geyserempath…im happy things are improving! It can be a long journey but so rewarding.
A friend of mine went thru something terribly traumatic and ive learned so much from her and how shes been handling it. Its made mr reassess my own fears in relation to improving my life.
Tiny goals become big ones and we will get there!
Narc Affair,
You seem to have a very good undestanding of this stuff. Have you had more than one Narc or been in therapy?
For some reason, Some folks seem to have a real aversion to taking any ownership in their role in the dynamic, but I say the quicker you accept you had a role in it the faster you recover. I find it’s those in the earliest stages of recovery that really have a hard time accepting this. Some people seem to get stuck in the first stage for awhile
HG
Even though I know you are in the enemy camp, I want to say thank you for your educational articles and books. I promise I didn’t mean that rudely only that I know you are a greater malignant narcissist but yeah that’s what I meant.
You are welcome.
HG
I also so sent him one of your articles. The golden period.
great glorious golden happiness…….
When I read that sentence I started laughing out loud to myself…..it just sounded so silly in my mind and so like as if I could hear Jim Carry saying it…greatttt glorioussss goldennnn happieness!!!!! So sarcastic and over exaggerated sounding in my mind….I needed that laugh. But back to the article…mannnnn this is so dang true! I’m trying not to curse…anyways yes this is so what they dang well do! So sad really how they do this and so cruel. I wish they could have a conscience to see how horrible this truly is….I feel so sorry for future victims of narcissists. I have one victim I am talking to now and he has just now been devasted by a narcissist woman’s discard of him and this guy is so crushed…just like I was by mine….everything he says all the emotions he goes through I see myself in him and I truly feel for him because he has such a long way to go to get to where I’m at. Knowledge wise….it took me 4 agonizing years of Hell to get this PhD! I sweat every moment of it and drudges through the trenches….to get to my knowledge I’m at now…devoured hours days and months and years of information and books to understand my heartache and what had happened to me. Now to see this poor person starting his journey fresh in his discard I am heart broken for him. I truly have a compassion for him that I would have not had had I not gone through it! Nobody can possibly understand the Hell of the narcissist until they have gone through it. Besides to the outside world they are clueless and we look crazy but it is they who are clueless and know not which they speak of or see! I am trying to help him through this now one day at a time and it is literally like watching myself in a movie being played right in front of me. The same exact thing! Unbelievable. He has thanked me profusely for helping him and education him and he’s surprised that I am being so helpful. But I know the cold lonely crazy sad scary heart broken helpless and utterly defeated place that he is right now and damit I am going to help him. It’s truly Hell after the discard! The devaluation and discard are Hell on earth! Great fully my ex greater narc or psychopath is not perusing me or else I would be fighting myself back to let him in again….and I know what he is. That’s the power they have over us! It is insane!
HG, excellent article. Exactly how it played out . . . the mirroring never stops, the roles are switched, we really did become one with each other in a most unhealthy way.
Thank you.
Sounds exactly like MY narcissist. 😲
The start of the relationship.
Then the ongoing , continuing on ……..
The torture & torment is almost too much to bear . 💔💍💎
All of the empty broken promises . 😥 💔
{ He’s often cruel , vicious , & vindictive }
All of those mind games he’s plays. ~ its mentally exausting.
😈🔥🔥🔥😈
Sorry you are going through this. You do not deserve this. You are a pretty woman and you can probably get so much better. You deserve to be happy and treated with love and respect.