The Porn Supremacy

 

THE PORNSUPREMACY

 

There is a significant correlation between our kind and the use of pornographic material. Once upon a time, one might imagine that the size of a person’s porn stash might have been a rough and ready indicator of their reliance on porn and their potential for being one of our kind. Nowadays the availability of porn through the internet means that millions of images and videos are available at the click of the mouse. No longer is it necessary for people to buy top-shelf magazines, visit an “adult sex shop” to purchase videos or DVDs, or import some hardcore material from another jurisdiction. It is far easier to go online and obtain a porn fix there instead. If you have been entangled with our kind, it is highly likely that porn featured on the agenda. Initially, it will have been used as an aperitif to sexual activity, watching a film together or surfing for some interesting snippets in order to get us both in the mood or enhance the mood further. It would provide a basis for discussion between us as to ascertaining sexual mores and appetites. During seduction we would garner from you what worked for you, what turned you off and what intrigued you. Some of that knowledge would be put to use as part of the seduction and some of it would be stored away for later use. Porn would be used in an effective and healthy manner. Our true use of porn would be suspended by the needs arising from effecting the seduction, embedding you and extracting your positive fuel.

Porn appeals to each cadre of narcissist as a consequence of its availability and ubiquity. I will detail below a host of reasons why narcissists of all cadres and schools utilise porn, especially during the devaluation period, but to begin with, a brief mention as to why porn is specifically appealing to these groups.

The Victim Narcissist – with low energy levels and often a low libido, porn provides an easy and available option. Some Victim Narcissists also suffer sexual dysfunction and therefore watching porn is an easy substitute for something they are less able to do.

The Somatic Narcissist – porn is his playground. His obsessions with body and performance come together in a glittering array of writhing and gyrating bodies. Porn is the cradle of the somatic.

The Cerebral – whilst he may have less interest in the sex act, he still wants to know plenty about it and watching extensive amounts of porn, understanding techniques, observing scenarios and so forth enables the Cerebral Narcissist to stockpile his sexual arsenal for later use through spoken and written communication.

The Elite – quite obviously a combination of the reasons that attract the Somatic and the Cerebral means that the Elite finds much to relish in the world of pornography.

The Lesser –  the power and control which come with porn appeal to the lesser. His lack of imagination is also catered for by watching such a massive array of porn.

The Mid-Range –  acquisition of knowledge about porn enables him to portray himself as more capable than he is and enables him to talk a good game.

The Greater – the access to depravity and humiliation appeals especially to the Greater. Whilst such actions will also be evidenced in the Lesser and Mid-Range, it is the Greater who makes more extensive use of porn in this fashion.

Accordingly, porn provides some kind of use to each school and each cadre of our kind. If your narcissist did not appear to access porn, then it is probably the case that you just never caught them doing so. Secrecy is a significant part of the narcissistic lifestyle and secret tablets, activity in the bolthole and password locked devices will invariably be masking a use of porn.

Why do our kind make such extensive use of porn? The use of porn naturally is nor per se a bad thing and many victims enjoy viewing porn as a stimulating and vibrant addition to sexual activity. Those reasons are for stimulation, increasing knowledge and technique in order to please themselves and their partner and in essence for reasons which would be regarded by many people as “good”. Our reasons are far more varied.

  1. Objectification. I have explained previously how we regard people as objects because they are our appliances. This is even more so when we watch porn. Our grandiosity and sense of omnipotence means that these objects are performing for our benefit. We sit before glowing screen akin to a director as these objects interact at our say so. If we want to watch two women and a man together – click, we find the video. If we want anal – click, we find the video. She males, enemas, bondage – whatever we decide the objects should do, we just click and the relevant objects appear to do what we want. We consider ourselves as commanding them to do our bidding.
  2. Lack of intimacy. Our inability to feel many emotions means that intimacy is abhorrent to us. Yes, it will be faked during seduction because of the greater aim that exists but once there is no need for this, it is readily jettisoned. You may (not always admittedly) seek intimacy in your sexual union with us. We will not want that during devaluation and therefore this will result in an ignited fury response. In order to avoid such a scenario arising we take refuge in the world of porn where there is no intimacy. It is cold, clinical and two or more objects performing as we decree.
  3. Control of the environment. We do not want the environment to control us. We must control the environment. This is why control ranks so highly in our day to day dealings. In the arena of pornography, we are in complete control of the environment. We transport ourselves into the scenario as god-like we control it, directing people to place this here and that there, do this, do that, take this, take that. Porn is the ultimate place for us to be able to control the environment.
  4. Reflection. We do not exist save by reflection. This is why we have such an incredible need for external approval and why we seek fuel from everything that we interact with. Your emotional responses (good or bad) provide us with validation that we exist, that we matter and that we are important. We also take your characteristics to use as our own in order to further our construct of what we want to be. Porn facilitates this also. The supreme Olympic performances of those in the videos that we watch, we consider to be us. Therefore, we take those characteristics for ourselves. We also regard the reaction of those in the videos, their orgasmic screams of delight, their groans of pleasure, even the harsh words issued by a dominatrix to be directed as emotional reactions to us and thus fuel is gained and we receive validation by these people recognising us. We become a participant in the porn. If the video is a POV (point of view) production the effect is heightened.
  5. Withdrawal. By choosing to spend our time watching porn rather than being in bed with you we gain fuel from your response. Sometimes it will be Thought Fuel as we think of you lying there in a lonely bed upset and wondering why we spend so long locked in our bolthole and other times it will be Proximate Fuel as you berate us for watching porn or become upset when we reject your advances and head for the study instead. Our extensive use of porn is utilised to belittle you, thus drawing fuel and reinforce our superiority over you.
  6. Lack of challenge. We hate being challenged, after all, we are superior beings and you are inferior therefore any challenge you may issue to us in the sexual arena is unwelcome during devaluation. You are not allowed to make demands on us, have sexual needs which require fulfilment and the like. Those on the screen do not challenge us. Instead they comply with us and facilitate what we want and thus they are preferred.
  7. On tap. We require repeated validation and recognition of our importance and what better way than to receive it from a medium which is always there, always delivers and does so in spades? It does not feel tired; it does not have a period nor does it have a headache. It does not baulk at a certain demand or resist a depraved act. It performs when want it to and it provides us with what we need. This is how our appliances should operate and how we expect them to operate.
  8. Shame. We feel safer operating in an environment that  does not require an emotional obligation on our part. Not always, but you will often expect an intimate connection with us during sexual activity and we do not want to provide this as we cannot. Whilst we take fuel from your emotional reactions, you often want this reciprocated in the sexual arena more than any other and we are reminded of our inability to provide certain emotions to you and this creates shame. This is a criticism which will then ignite our fury and cause us to withdraw or lash out at you. We do not wish to experience this shame and therefore by engaging in viewing porn we are not subjected to this emotional demand from you. (This is also a factor in our kind’s use of one night stands and prostitutes).
  9. Uniqueness. By delving into deviancy and taboo activities online this reinforces our sense of being unique, special and above everyone else. Vanilla sex is available for everyone but we are not everyone. Watching the more deviant and kink sexual activities is not done in order to gain a sexual kick from doing so (although one will be present) the main aim is to reinforce our sense of being unique because we watch (and by extension engage in) such activity.
  10. Triangulation. We will use the watching of porn to triangulate with you. Either through withdrawing from sexual activity with you or using what we have viewed as the basis for insisting on you engaging in similar activities and telling you why we want you to do this. This allows fuel to be obtained and enables our superiority to be reinforced.
  11. Social media. Our porn habits during devaluation are usually solitary activities in our boltholes where we are also able to reach out and gain fuel from a wide range of appliances through social media at the same time. This creates a heady brew of fuel from our porn viewing and our interaction with appliances through social media. This is highly edifying for us and by combining the two we feel especially powerful. We receive fuel but we are also god-like as we command the people on screen to do our bidding as we pull the strings of those we message and text.

 

Accordingly, porn is something which appeals considerably to our kind.

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16 thoughts on “The Porn Supremacy”

  1. NarcNutz once bragged that he always woke up early in the morning in order to “meditate” on his patio before starting his day. I commented, “Wow, there are so many different ways to describe downloading porn.” Needless to say, that pissed him off, but the truth usually does when heard by a Narc.

  2. My narc has always been into porn and tbh i never minded bc i found it spiced our sex up. We watched porn together but never the kind that i found disrespectful. Its a personal thing. Some people really dislike it and in that case their partner should respect their feelings. My narc never seemed addicted to porn it was just used as something fun on the side. I think it becomes a problem when it replaces the partner or becomes an addiction. Also certain types of porn are disrespectful and deviant in nature.
    I could see how porn could be used as fuel. Triangulation as well comparing the partner to people in the porn vids.
    Oddly porn has never been an issue its been other factors of his narcissism.

  3. “Watching the more deviant and kink sexual activities”

    —real vacuum cleaners (hard limit)

  4. You’ve summed it up perfectly, thrown back the curtain to the absolute truth, no holes barred, in a nut-shell.

  5. I searched,read your older post about the “Bolthole”. THank you! Possibly post it again as it is textbook. I never went in there (to show respect for his space)it was dark, cluttered negative energy compared to rest of our house. But ,once the affair, mask layers were pulled back & the questions out ran his lies…for me to see just a fraction of his selfish sick mind in that room.Wow. I was berated & belittled for wanting to “know” ..a snooping wife, had him by his b*lls, all up in his business that had nothing to do with me.
    Exactly.

  6. hi HG,
    Wonderful post,
    So sad, you cannot ever experience true love sex 🙂 its magnificent. really should try and heal your inner child. it is hard, I’m doing it , not for those reasons , its worth it !!! I’m worth it 🙂 everyones comments here have helped me in recovery, thank you, and of course HG’s

  7. Very recognisable – here the somatic is framed differently to the lesser and is a better description of my ex. Addictions to ‘porn and social media’, using other people to have a primary and exclusive relationship with – themselves. Rejecting challenges = rejection of intimacy.

    1. Just in case you missed understanding iroll, Somatic is a cadre and Lesser a school – they combine (although not in all instances) so you can have a Lesser Somatic for instance.

  8. Ah! So that is why she brought out her parents stash. Some cheesy bad mid eighties VHS tape. To be honest, I was surprised and curious at the same time. Had not seen much movie porn up to that point. That was the first of her surprises for me. Another form of punishment I guess because she never gave it up per- se! Well not to me.

  9. “Whilst we take fuel from your emotional reactions, you often want this reciprocated in the sexual arena more than any other and we are reminded of our inability to provide certain emotions to you and this creates shame. This is a criticism which will then ignite our fury and cause us to withdraw or lash out at you. We do not wish to experience this shame and therefore by engaging in viewing porn we are not subjected to this emotional demand from you. (This is also a factor in our kind’s use of one night stands and prostitutes).”

    I have a question about this HG. Since the mid range does not know what they are, is this “shame” from not being able to provide emotions cause them to continually seek sex from others? My narc is very free sharing with himself sexually. He always laments that he is in need of “physical affection”. Is this his way of trying to seek and/or “provide” emotions? And since he does know what he is he keeps “trying” (aka: going back and forth between his wife and others)? I hope my explanation makes sense.

    One time we had an argument and I accused him of only using me for sex (because you know one week I am “more than a fling” and the next week I am “just a fling)…anyway though when I accused him of using me he flipped out and said “Use you? Please! I could pay a hooker to get me off and it would be way less stressful than dealing with you!”

    I often wonder if that was an actual slip of the mask where he spoke the truth about such a thing happening OR if it was just a nasty defensive comeback to my accusation.

    1. HG – do you believe it to be possible for a Marc (likely somatic mid ranger) to have solely online dealings with his appliances (ie sext/audiovisual)? This would be in addition to wife IPPS. Or is he just hiding local affairs/IPSS?

  10. Pingback: Porn Supremacy by Narcissist H.G.Tudor – Signs of a Gay Husband by Debra Sutton

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