Understanding Word Salad
What is word salad?
Why do narcissists use it?
What does it sound like?
How do you deal with it?
This provides you with a comprehensive example of word salad and then detailed explanations about its use and how you may tackle it.
11 thoughts on “Understanding Word Salad”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I have to share a hilarious word salad moment I remember from my mid-ranger. The details are slightly modified for clarity. To set the tone, this was during a relatively calm moment of hooverish contrition. It went something like this:
Narc: blah blah blah – I wouldn’t have to do that if you weren’t so awful – blah blah blah
Me: But you pounded the dashboard, yanked at my coat collar and screamed in my face for twenty minutes just because I didn’t like the song you were playing!
Narc: I know. I know. (Voice cracking with sadness) I was just so hurt – Blah blah blah – I’m at my wit’s end – blah blah blah – What am I supposed to say?
Me: What are you supposed to say? Ummm… Sor-ry (said slowly, as if teaching a child how to say “Sorry”)
Narc: (said in a serious, heartfelt tone with no hint of sarcasm) Okay. I accept your apology.
I do believe I simply burst out laughing at him. Jesus Christ!! How did I get out with my brain intact? Is my brain intact? Lol. I don’t even know what I was supposedly apologizing for.
“State your position once and leave it at that. You then know you have set out your position and you have told us. Therefore you know that you have spoken up and asserted your position which will make you feel better. You have not backed down.”
Thanks again HG,
I’m thinking that the above comment is also true in non narc entanglement. Even in healthy relationships a person’s position should be respected and taken seriously.
Hello HG, Can word salad be one word like ‘thanks’ or ‘ok’ in response to a question that clearly requires more than a one word response or a statement that is an obvious invitation to participate in a longer conversation/ discuss a problem?
‘How are we going to resolve this issue of you keep losing your temper over trivial matters.’
‘Thanks.’
Yes, that would equate.
“Words are easy to use. They are low in terms of energy expenditure.”
That right there. In all aspects of life, in all relationships.
Where do I find Perfect Sense?
Here
https://narcsite.com/2018/04/02/perfect-sense-to-us-4/
The search function is rather useful.
Before walking out the door and implementing full no contact, I say: “I thought I was dealing with somebody normal and intelligent, but clearly I was wrong.” Since they love to hear you admit how wrong you always are, it leaves them spinning. The look on the narc’s face is priceless.
I experienced word salads before I knew what they were, usually during a Corrective Devaluation. The most recent one was was a stunningly mind-boggling episode that left me in tears. I had no idea what he was talking about nor where the conversation was leading (nowhere) or even what he was driving at. Thanks to this clear, effective article, I am prepared should he try this again.
I wish I had known this more than 20 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of aggravation
Thanks HG that answers my previous question on making sense post !!